Well, now that Ant is gone, the most devious, the most interesting, the most volatile House dwellers have been eliminated. Among the seven who still reside in that ghastly castle, there are some splendid comics, to be sure. But where does that leave the reality part of the show? No more clashes between Corey Holcomb and his gay roomie. No more feline fireworks between Bonnie McFarlane and what the chat room denizens refer to as “The Sicilian Witch.” No more Todd Glass singing “The Attention Song” and generally distracting everyone from their scheming and dreaming!

It is a crucial flaw in this show that the folks who lose the head-to-head competition are summarily dismissed from the house… banished forever, never to interact with their old compadres. Which Larry Lightbulb came up with that feature? This is why they should toss everybody back in The House! (With minor adjustments, of course!)

If you know anything about standup comics, you know that there is nothing funnier (or potentially funnier) and there is nothing more unpredictable, than a comic who has nothing to lose. And, conversely, there is nothing more boring than six or seven comics who have learned to adapt. Which is what is going on in The House right now. (Recall Heffron‘s proclamation that “from now on, I am a lone wolf!” Good strategy, perhaps, but not what we all had in mind when we all signed on to watch Reality TV!) We’re headed toward a snoozer of a final four weeks! Jay Mohr talks about twists and turns, but we fear that there’s almost nothing that could remedy the potential for torpor! Except returning the losers back to the house to wreak havoc.

We comics pride ourselves on our ability to adapt… to figure out how to deal with unpleasant situations and make adjustments. Ah, but a comic with nothing to lose, that’s a whole different ballgame! Just ask any club owner– This is why you never tell a comic before the second show Saturday that he’s never coming back. (If you do, he’ll make sure that second show Saturday is legendary… and not legendary in a good way.)

Which is why they should toss the banished comics back in The House! Oh, sure, they could jigger the rules a bit so that it’s still fair (or at the very least a TV version of fair), but they still need the chemistry and the hoopla that such a reversal would undoubtedly bring.

How could they make it fair? Who knows. Just have them all re-instated with nothing to lose… and maybe nothing to gain– You lost the head-to-head, you can’t win the Big Prize, but you can have input, you can influence who the Big Prize Winner might be. Or, maybe you lose your right to vote, which makes you a constant and vulnerable target, susceptible to permanent banishment. Or, maybe you must compete against a Wild Card comic who never made it into The House in the first place! (There is a rumor that Pablo Francisco is going to be rammed into The House!) And the re-instated ones get tons of Network Television Face Time! We haven’t figured out all the details, but, hey– we don’t make as much money as Jay Mohr or Peter Engel. Let them figure it out! Besides, nobody listens to us anyway!

Think of how much fun last year’s competition might have been if Dave Mordal had been able to come back! Imagine the mayhem that the team of Mordal and Vos would have caused!

Toss the losers back in! We envision Ant and Todd Glass singing “The Attention Song” in two-part harmony at four in the morning!