50 States, 50 Shows, 50 Days

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on March 6th, 2005

We are very envious. In what is being billed as “The Greatest String of One Nighters in the World!,” three comics, John Wessling, Tommy Drake and Chuck Savage, are embarking on HELLGIG AMERICA. (“It’s not a contest…it’s a CONQUEST!”) Near as we can tell (their damn Flash featurette is still loading…) Wessling’s had it in his head to do this for five years, and the trio will finally realize his twisted dream starting April 9 in Beaumont, TX, and ending May 27 in Honolulu. We are envious.

Although both of us here at SHECKYmagazine HQ have been members of the 50-State Club for some time now, we took the 20-year approach– our plan was equally ambitious, yet far less efficient. Doing it in 50 days will be thrilling to say the least. We hope they can muster the press they deserve– we envision camera crews from local TV news operations in each market, maybe rose petals strewn in their paths as they cross each state line. We will endeavor to bring you details on their progress, maybe a pic or two. We’re trying to get them to upload a press release with details (Remember words? Set in type? Damn that Macromedia!), so we can all follow along. For now we can offer the following information:

1. Fri 4-8, Beaumont TX
2. Sat 4-9, Baton Rouge LA
3. Sun 4-10, Biloxi MS
4. Mon 4-11, Pensacola FL
5. Tue 4-12, Birmingham AL
6. Wed 4-13, Atlanta GA
7. Thu 4-14, Greenville SC
8. Fri 4-15, Knoxville TN
9. Sat 4-16, Raleigh-Durham NC
10. Sun 4-17, Richmond VA
11. Mon 4-18, Baltimore MD
12. Tue 4-19, Wilmington DE
13. Wed 4-20, Atlantic City NJ
14. Thu 4-21, Hartford CT
15. Fri 4-22, Providence RI
16. Sat 4-23, Boston MA
17. Sun 4-24, Portland ME
18. Mon 4-25, Portsmouth NH
19. Tue 4-26, Brattleboro VT
20. Wed 4-27, Buffalo NY
21. Thu 4-28, Erie PA
22. Fri 4-29, Detroit MI
23. Sat 4-30, Columbus OH
24. Sun 5-1, Charleston WV
25. Mon 5-2, Louisville KY
26. Tue 5-3, Indianapolis IN
27. Wed 5-4, Chicago IL
28. Thu 5-5, Madison WI
29. Fri 5-6, Minneapolis MN
30. Sat 5-7, Fargo ND
31. Sun 5-8, Sioux Falls SD
32. Mon 5-9, Sioux City IA
33. Tue 5-10, Omaha NE
34. Wed 5-11, St. Joseph MO
35. Thu 5-12, Overland Park KS
36. Fri 5-13, Ft. Smith AR
37. Sat 5-14, Oklahoma City OK
38. Sun 5-15, Albuquerque NM
39. Mon 5-16, Colorado Springs CO
40. Tue 5-17, Casper WY
41. Wed 5-18, Bozeman MT
42. Thu 5-19, Pocotello/Rexburg ID
43. Fri 5-20, Salt Lake City UT
44. Sat 5-21, Las Vegas NV
45. Sun 5-22, Kingman/Lake Havasu AZ
46. Mon 5-23, LA to Bakersfield CA
47. Tue 5-24, Portland OR
48. Wed 5-25, Seattle WA
49. Thu 5-26, Anchorage AK
50. Fri 5-27, Honolulu HI

We gave up on the Flash thingie. Maybe we’ll call Wessling this afternoon. Stay tuned. All you broadband people might hop onto their website to check out that bulky Flash file. Inquiries can be directed to Mr. Wessling at hellgigamerica@yahoo.com.