Details on "Club Soda Kenny"

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on February 14th, 2006

Now there’s a NYT article on Sgt. Feder, aka “Club Soda Kenny,” the former Diceman sidekick and frequent Opie & Anthony guest who is suspended without pay from his gig as an internal affairs investigator for the West Orange (NJ) PD.

But late last month, when a CD of Sergeant Feder’s act was mailed to police officials and members of the City Council, the laughter stopped. They suspended him last week and filed departmental charges that could cost him his $88,000-a-year job and his pension.

When we first commented on the case, we opined that the suspension was justified, imagining the sticky situation Feder might find himself in with, say, a speeding motorist. However, we now know that Feder has little or no contact with the public (in the traditional cop sense). But, we still aren’t certain that his standup isn’t at odds with the department’s code of conduct.

Feder’s attorney unwittingly made a case for his client’s suspension:

He said he suspected that the CD was sent to police officials as an act of retaliation by a rogue police officer Sergeant Feder had investigated. “It’s hard to imagine who else might do such a thing,” he said.

Oops! Let’s see… I’m a cop who investigates other cops… there’s an outside chance (just the teeniest, tiniest chance) I might get suspended if somebody finds out I’m telling jokes about screwing my dog… hmmm… I don’t suppose I’ve compromised myself in any way. Not at all. Whew! That was close! (Into intercom) Miss Jones, send in the next (allegedly) dirty cop!

Others are casting this as a free speech issue. The internet is crackling with all manner of foaming, 1st Amendment rhetoric, much of it over the top; some of it from his attorney– “This is a man who risks his life every day to protect the public and uphold the Constitution,” says his lawyer, obviously counting on the reader’s ignorance as to Feder’s job description. (We’ve watched enough NYPD Blue‘s to know that the closest the guys in “IAB” come to risking their lives is via their sedentary lifestyle combined with a high-fat diet.)

Like we said earlier, we haven’t heard the last of this story. (Prediction: Feder’s attorney will wangle some sort of deal where Feder gets the back pay that he lost during the suspension; Feder apologizes for disgracing the West Orange PD; Feder will promise to keep the child molestation and raping-a-bride-at-knifepoint gags to a minimum over the next few months while Feder’s attorney and the department hammer out an early buyout, with full pension. Everybody goes home happy– West Orange is spared the embarassment, Feder gets his pension, and, most importantly, Feder is free to pursue standup comedy full time! (After you get your puss in the NYT, it should be no problem to secure representation for personal appearances. If Hank the Angry Dwarf could make some coin, it shouldn’t be any problem for Club Soda Kenny to make a decent buck cutting ribbons, appearing on O & A and occasionally opening for Jim Norton.) Stay tuned: There’s a departmental hearing on Feb. 23!