Terry Morrow, a blowhard who scribbles for The Knoxville News Sentinel (and whose nonsense is then ejaculated through the entire Scripps Howard News chain via the Scripps Howard News Service) releases his pathetic grip on his hopelessly flaccid penis long enough to tap out the following horse manure:

As a talent search, Last Comic Standing has never been a fresh forum. Instead, it has given airtime to hacks who rely more on their dry delivery than good material to get them by.

A show that should prove that standup is still vital has only impended (sic) the genre.

We all know that most standup is not very funny because the vast majority of comedians lack innovation and imagination. (Emphasis ours.)

(Pardon us if we assume that Morrow is a male. Hey, if it is a female, it probably still has some sort of hideous, vestigial penile organ of some sort. The horrible deformity would neatly explain the jealousy, the bitterness, the inability to reason. Also, we’re pretty sure that he/she/it meant to say “impeded” in the above quote.)

There are bad singers on American Idol, but the pathetic MSM opinion-makers never extrapolate those few singers over every singer on the planet. An inept dancer may pop up on So You Think You Can Dance, but the folks who comment on that show never take the occasion to make blanket statements about the entire entertainment category known as dance.

There have been major news stories about plagiarism at major dailies for the past decade or so, but we would never think of saying something like “as you know, journalists at major American dailies are a larcenous bunch who are utterly incapable of producing even a single original sentence.”

Why, then, do nitwits like Terry Morrow of the Scripps Howard News Service insist on cranking out such ridiculous, unnecessary and flat out mean statements like the one above?

The rest of Morrow’s commentary is so riddled with misinformation, innaccuracies and nonsense, we’re not even linking to it. He/she/it should have done some homework… or at the very least, the editors at the News Sentinel should have seen this screed for what it is– an unncessarily negative and haughty piece of drivel. Morrow demonstrates a jaw-dropping ignorance of the comedy business… and an equally staggering ignorance of reality television. Obviously, this wretch doesn’t read SHECKYmagazine. It is hoped he/she/it starts with this post.

Say it with us, people: “It’s not paranoia…”

We’ll be shocked if Morrow is not a male. We’re working on a theory as to why journalists, more specifically male journalists, say such ghastly things about standup comics. We have foresaken the typical Freudian explanation… too easy, too cliched (flaccid penis reference above, notwithstanding). We have instead opted for a socioanthropological explanation. To wit: What is the number one attribute cited by females in all those surveys titled “What do you look for in a man?” Answer: A sense of humor. The male who lacks a sense of humor is at a reproductive disadvantage. He sees the jocular male as a serious threat to his future seed-casting, so he therefore attacks. Of course, being civilized, he attacks in the only way available to him– via the print media. That’s our theory and we’re sticking to it.

Editors note: We did a little digging and found a picture of Terry Morrow. At left is Morrow’s pic from the Knoxville paper’s website where Morrow’s blog appears. Honest. We’re not making this up. It’s his real photo.