Raise the age of comedy consent!

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on June 20th, 2006

Just read the breathless press release about a 9-year-old boy doing comedy. (We won’t link to it because the website that hosts it opens up new browsers and switches visitors over to online poker sites when an attempt is made to close the browser window.)

(Name withheld) became the youngest standup comedian to appear at the (Name of club withheld) and he has already earned the respect of many seasoned pros.

…(Name withheld)’s teachers think he’s brilliant and could be the next Robin Williams.

The first line of the release also touts the kid as the next Jerry Seinfeld.

Google the kid and you learn that he’s been in a movie in the past 18 months. It’s a case of a kid tracked to be a child actor, so the next logical step is to get him on a stage in (Name of city withheld) to do standup. Because you know the news directors at the local radio and TV outlets just can’t resist the spectacle of a pre-pubescent boy acting all Catskillian.

Jealousy? No. Try genuine horror, true revulsion. Pardon us if we’re still traumatized by sharing the bill with a 14-year-old doing pubic hair jokes for a slack-jawed comedy club audience 20 years ago. (“I can’t grow it under my nose, but I can grow it over my hose!”)

The news directors will have an orgasm when a dog finally does standup. A cute dog. (This kind of thing isn’t fair to the folks who paid good money to hire a babysitter so they could get away from their 9-year-old kid for some real adult entertainment.)

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