It was an historic win! The Industry beat the Artists– the first such win by the Industry types in the history of the Artist vs. Industry basketball spectacle! (We are using exclamation points because, in the past, The Male Half of the Staff has participated in the game on the Industry side (by virtue of his media pass; even though, in his heart of hearts, he is an Artiste) for five of most recent games. Lachlan Patterson and Maronzio Vance were standouts in a losing Artists effort. (That Vance has a mini-skyhook/John Stocktonesque lane-drive thingie that is a sight to behold!)

Wayne Federman (Bar Mitzvah Show) displaying fine form at the Artist vs. Industry Basketball Smackdown

And this year saw the first Artist vs. Industry Hockey Game! (Not on ice, but in an arena, with a ball, similar to the orange, bounceless ball used in street hockey.) We encountered JFL’s Brent Schiess, post-hockey, in the Delta mezzanine, still clutching his equipment. (His hockey sticks… get your minds out of the gutter!) Schiess was mightily exercised over the Industry victory. (By the same 4-point margin!) It was The RBK Ball Hockey Cup they were fighting for. (The Female Half says that “ball hockey” sounds vaguely obscene, perhaps a Canadian euphemism for masturbation… “Slap shot… Score!”)

Suggestion to JFL brass: Capitalize on Industry hotshot Rick Messina’s healthy obsession with whiffle ball and have a JFL Artists vs. Industry Whiffle Ball Blowout. Something that even the comics without health insurance could participate in, without fear of rupturing a tendon or losing an incisor.

We were disappointed to hear that the Comedy Network wouldn’t be hosting a barbecue on the Delta’s Terasse de la Jardin, as in past years. But we were alarmed to hear that they were indeed hosting a barbecue under the pristine white tents at the Club Charlot– and we almost didn’t find out! It was a ten-minute shuttle ride from the Delta (attenuated to a 16-minute shuttle ride after a delay because of the unlikely confluence of a Parade of Twins and a protest by folks sympathetic to the Lebanese… or to Hezbollah… or both… we’re not sure which). The rain didn’t help our progress either. (Curiously, the rain didn’t dampen the spirits– or diminish the numbers– of parade goers or street fest participants… or the protestors.)

We arrived in plenty of time for free Labatts, free dogs (hot dogs, that is) and Comedy Network swag bags containing hats and psychedelic, battery-powered fans.

A thin sliver of The Male Half of the Staff, as he tries gallantly to snap a self-portrait with Festival mascot Bonhomme Verte. Our favorite part is the rain drops on B.V.’s giant eyeball!

It was a pleasant, civilized environment in which to schmooze with Industry, Artists, Media and Accompaneurs! Out of the rain, away from the Delta, inexplicably soothed by the 80s/New Wave soundtrack, we began to see the wisdom of having these get-togethers in a remote location, away from Ground Zero, behind the Theatre St. Denis. (Quite often, in the past, the mezzanine of the Delta resembled a Canadian-lager-fueled Andersonville after one or two of these swillfests– especially after the midnight parties!– dozens of the “wounded” lining the halls, evoking mild horror from the occasional church grouper or swim team member unfortunate enough to have been booked into the same hotel, at the exact same time, as the world’s largest Entertainment Comedy Industry Steam Valve! Perhaps we exaggerate… perhaps not.) The addition of a shuttle ride and a geographic impediment or two makes for a more sober, much more sedate affair. But one that is no less satisfying or collegial.

Left to right: Max Alexander (Bar Mitzvah Show), Joey Elias (Montreal Show), at the Delta. (Paired because, between them, they have lost the equivalent of an entire comic in body weight.)

Saturday brings perhaps the most intense, most show-packed program of the Fest: No real daytime programming (save for the aforementioned barbecue and hoopfest) and lots of evening shows over six or seven venues. Many artists (and fans and other observers) take a deep breath before plunging into the vast array of galas, one-man’s, best of’s and specials that are offered. Exaltation here and there over the procurement of a Bill Cosby ticket. Excitement in anticipation of the John Cleese-hosted Gala show. Fierce determination by some to engineer a complex series of shuttle rides and catch as many performances as is humanly possible.

Us? We slept.

And then, we headed on down, in a slight drizzle, to Jimbo’s Comedy Works venue to catch FOS/Festival Buddy Joe Starr as he closed out the Best Of The Fest, following Christian Finnegan, Sugar Sammy, Wayne Federman, Max Alexander and Dov Davidoff. We watched the sold-out show on the monitors downstairs, while chatting with FOS David John McCarthey.

Laurie Kilmartin (Masters), Jeff Singer (Producer, Dating It)

We’ve encountered a handful of people who are horrifed or bemused by our reluctance to attend any live performances at the world’s largest festival devoted to comedy. But we have perfectly good explanation– there’s a whole lot more to the world’s largest festival devoted to comedy than actual live performance– we think our updates bear that out.

Also, we look at the Delta as our version of the al Rashid– we hunker down, safely inside the “Green Zone,” and await the word from the returning warriors, contractors and others. We piece together the reports from the info gleaned from the various artists, fans, agents and friends. Let’s face it– “buzz” is, by its very nature, second-hand. (If it’s first-hand, it’s hype!)

Besides, we’re comics– we find it difficult to sit down, cheek-to-jowl, with other audience members, and sit through a comedy show. It goes against our nature.

Greer Barnes (Masters), Roy Wood, Jr. (New Faces), at the Delta

There was no Eve’s Tavern this year. (Or, All About Eve’s Tavern, as we were referring to it earlier in the week… “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night!”) The all-gal show was eliminated from the program. What was new? Asian Invasion, perhaps? (It happened before we even got there.) Maybe some of the slots were taken up by the Flying Solo series of shows, a bunch of shows put on by one person, a man in most cases but for Margaret Cho. Tim Minchin, Stewart Lee, Demetri Martin, Phil Nichol and Billy the Mime were the men. Patrick Combs starred in “Man 1, Bank 0” John Pinette
was a special event and Victor Isaac and Dean Cameron starred in what the organizers billed as a two-man, one-man show called “The Nigerian Spam Scam Scam.”

On the left, Christian Finnegan (Multiple shows, MySpace.com correspondent), Eddie Pence (Just For Pitching), meeting for the first time

The Best of the Uptown Comics featured Greer Barnes, Gina Yashere, Mark Curry, Patrice O’Neal, Maronzio Vance, Willie Barcena, Roz, Katt Williams and was hosted by Don DC Curry.

Left to right: Jon Reep (Gala with John Cleese!), Male Half, at the Delta

We don’t normally dish gossip, but we learned from good sources that, of the festival hosts that we heard about, Jason Alexander was “difficult,” or “exacting,” to put a good face on it, and that John Cleese was a real peach.

Left to right: Male Half of the Staff, Female Half of the Staff, at the Delta. (Photo credit: Francine Starr)

We were frequently asked the following: “What did you mean by your Tuesday, July 18, Last Comic Standing posting when you said you were ‘speechless?’ ” (So disconcerting was our silence, to our readers and to the media, the Boston Herald’s Sean L. McCarthy even saw fit to mention it in his wrapup of Episode #408 of the NBC reality show!) Well, we were speechless for many reasons, but the reason we cited most often and most diplomatically, was that the contestants seemed to exercise exceedingly poor judgement when it came to their choice of material. When one considers that they had not really had to burn through much material up to that point, their choice of such scatological material was… curious. Their showcase sets, on primetime network television, in front of millions of viewers, more resembled a set that might have been more appropriate for a second show Friday or a Tuesday night bar gig. To see people waste this golden opportunity left us unable to comment. If you don’t have the material, buy the material.

Left to right: Rocky Laporte (Wise Guys), Maronzio Vance (New Faces), on the steps at the Delta

The difference between the 2006 JFL and the 1999 JFL (our first Fest) is that, back then, the conventional wisdom was that a comic couldn’t make money merely by being a comic. “There’s no money in live performance,&quot was the pessimistic mantra.

Then followed a year or two or three of hand-wringing due to the displacement of the sitcom by reality programming– a time when agents and managers seemed at a loss as to how to efficiently use the power and talent of their standup clients. Now, we are seemingly at a point where standup comics can make a living– a good living– doing what they do best, what they seem built for, destined for– live standup comedy.

Wille Mercer (now of Thruline Entertainment), quoted in the Hollywood Reporter:

More comedians than ever before are making a great living performing in theaters and arenas, so whereas that was once solely a means to an end, it’s an end in itself now… You might find a guy doing a sitcom to help his notoriety on the live circuit.

Left to right: The Male Half, JFL Mascot Bonhomme Verte and FOS Jenny McKenna, at the Theatre St. Denis (Photo credit: Boris, The Incredible)