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Rolling Stone chewing off its own arm

Mere months ago, Rolling Stone named him “Hottest Comic of the Year.” (Or was it “Coolest Comic of the Year?” We’ve read both on various websites here and there. Sounds like a thermostat problem to us.)

Anyway, Your Father’s Pop Culture Shopping List/Your Daughter’s Pop Culture Shopping List (Take your pick) is now having second thoughts about their previous pronouncement that Dane Cook was worthy of their readers’ attention.

This is getting fascinating.

A sharp-eyed reader hipped us to RS’s latest flip-flop on the hottest/coolest comic that Rolling Stone had ever seen until last Thursday. This time, Rob Sheffield is the hatchet man, dispatched to do the dirty work whatever way he can. The tools at his disposal? Cattiness, haughtiness, rumor, innuendo, implication and downright lazy journalism. Check this out:

The best line on Retaliation goes, “He was hit by a Dodge, which I found funny and ironic.” I can’t wait to figure out which old Emo Philips record that one comes from.

You can’t wait?

Emo’s got exactly two “old records.” (unless we’re mistaken). We figure with Amazon.com and FedEx and a few dollars from petty cash, Mr. Sheffield could solve this deep mystery in a matter of 48 hours. Surely, the demolition of Cook’s reputation (and the necessary editorial backtracking on Rolling Stone’s part) could have waited that long.

First, he’s the hottest comic in America. Minutes later, the question posed by Rolling Stone is:

“How can any comedian get as famous as Dane Cook has with no jokes?”

The answer to that, of course, is: Capricious and superficial rags like Rolling Stone, in an effort to pander to their equally capricious and superficial readers, proclaim him the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Somewhere in between helping to elevate Cook to Numero Uno and writing the vicious screed linked above, the cynical and shallow editors at RS decide that the comedy monster they’ve created must be destroyed. They have an inflated notion of just how responsible they were for the upswing… and they’re mistaken if they’re miserable pouting might cause a downturn.

Fascinating.