We were totally unaware of the flap that arose late last month when Jay Leno asked guest Ryan Phillippe (who had portrayed a gay teen on One Life To Live) to give him his “gayest look.”

Phillippe refused and threatened to walk. Not sure why, exactly, but apparently Leno’s request was the height of ignorance and an insult to gay people the world over. One gossip blogger was even prompted to label Leno, “the human embodiment of suckiness.”

The story made headlines all over the English-speaking world and Leno was forced to make a quick apology.

Another website was created solely for the purpose of soliciting photos of readers who were asked to give Jay their gayest look while extending their middle finger. “It’s a fun way to get across a serious message,” said one of the founders of the site, which “raises awareness about the fact that gay jokes really just aren’t funny.”

Then, there’s this:

Is the “gay community” owed an apology from Ben Affleck? From Kimmel? From ABC/Cap Cities?

From an opinion piece in the Thursday, April 10, Falls Church News-Press by Wayne Besen:

Deciding when a joke is funny or anti-gay fodder is a delicate task. It does not help the gay and lesbian movement to be seen as killjoys, but, at the same time, much damage is done when we are comically killed for the joy of others. Society should be concerned whether the cumulative effect of demeaning jokes has a negative impact on gay teenagers, who are more likely to commit suicide.

So, where is the appropriate place to draw the line?

If gay individuals or groups do something that is actually amusing or absurd, it is perfectly acceptable that they be laughed at and lampooned. However, simply being gay– or insinuating that someone is homosexual – should not be considered inherently funny. The punch line should never be: “Ha, ha, ha, you’re gay.” If the comedy writers can’t come up with more creative jokes, they should seriously consider new jobs.

Jay Leno’s interview with Ryan Phillippe was quite perfunctory and the comedian had no apparent malice. He had simply trotted out a tired industry formula that had been repeated thousands of times. But, the old routine did not elicit a routine response, signifying that gay people are finally standing up to the stand-up comics.

Emphasis ours.

Such talk makes us nervous– “perfectly acceptable” and “should not be considered inherently funny” and implying that jokes can lead to teenage suicide.

“Deciding when a joke is funny,” Besen says, “is a delicate task” But he no doubt has some idea of how to go about it. And he would be more than happy to set himself (or someone else) up as the arbiter. (Just what comedy needs– someone to handle the “delicate task” of deciding what is and is not funny.) Or, failing that, he is more than willing to leave the whole matter vague and undefined– the better to squelch any and all jokes about homosexuals. None of this is good for either the joker or the jokee.

When we draw a circle around a group and make them protected from comedy, we label them as victims, we deprive them of the right to laugh at themselves (and us at them) and we strip them of a useful tool for (for lack of a better word) assimilation. You can see where that might lead– resentment, estrangement from society at large, self-pity– all the things that humor is good at breaking down and eliminating. (For more on this very subject, see our posting from May, 2006, “‘Horribly offensive’ or ‘satire’?”)

Harry Shuldman, senior writer for Cornell’s student paper The Ithican, wrote a review of Tracy Morgan’s recent appearance there. Morgan apparently walked a bunch of “mortified sorority girls” and left others in attendance less than pleased with his raunchy performance.

Unless the majority of the audience was secretly bused in from Peoria and promised they were about to see the family-friendly comedic stylings of a Brian Regan or Gallagher, there’s really no explanation for the shocked reactions to all of Morgan’s nastiest material.

Of course, Shuldman knows that there is indeed an explanation. What he means to imply is that there is no real reason for such shocked reactions. The explanation, of course, is that a good number of us Americans are being raised to automatically display outrage at the slightest perceived bit of rudeness or incivility, especially when directed at protected groups. (And those who were not raised in this manner are being bludgeoned daily with the message.) But Shuldman knows well that college campuses are on the frontlines of such indoctrination.

Much to his credit, Morgan forges on, cranking up the offense. And, much to his credit, Shuldman defends him further:

Morgan kept repeating that the audience was just not feeling him enough and that they were judging him joke for joke. “I know you’re all intellectuals,” he said. “I don’t give a f**k.”

The people who had the best time on Sunday night were the ones who didn’t either.

Comics should be aware that the bulk of the pressure on us (and on comedy audiences) to constantly “give a f**k” comes not from those groups which are traditionally seen as buzzkills (the Right, Conservatives, Christians, school marms, think the adults in “Footloose”), but from those groups traditionally seen as upholding the finest principals and practices of “progressivism” (the Left, Liberals, free spirits, think the kids in “Footloose”). We caution all comics to look both ways before crossing the line. Just so when you get smacked on the back of the head, you won’t be surprised which direction it came from.