Here’s a time-honored tradition. A story that is oft-repeated.

We’ll set it up for you: Some of the local comics don’t like to perform at the local comedy club. So, they start up their own one-nighters in the area. With an able assist from a reporter at the local paper, they grind their axe and do their best to portray themselves in the best light possible and take multiple cheap shots at the local comedy club, the comics they book and the patrons who come through the door.

This time, it ‘s Madison, WI.

Katiusa Cisar, the reporter, seems to have swallowed some pretty big chunks of horseshit. She (he?) spews them rather matter-of-factly throughout the copy. Check this out:

In general, comedy clubs have a stigma attached to them. Most sprung up in the ’80s when stand-up was booming, and they soon gained a reputation for being sleazy joints. The stereotype is the club that operates as a money-laundering front for the cocaine trade, has a corny name like Crackers or Giggles, and is located in a run-down Dubuque or Appleton strip mall next to a nail salon.

Is there an editor at the Capital Times? Do they have attorneys? Has their revenue dwindled to the point where they can’t afford one or the other or both? We’re sure that the owners of real live comedy clubs named Crackers and/or Giggles are not at all pleased about this “stereotype.” And the folks at the Skyline are probably not ecstatic.

How about this one:

Comics often joke about the B-circuit stand-ups that these clubs attract: recently divorced middle-aged men who break out a well-oiled repertoire of Bill Clinton jokes and dream of finding “rebirth” through a career in comedy.

That’s the opinion of one of the local twentysomething comics, as paraphrased by Cisar.

Hmmm… we wonder how Shane Mauss or Isaac Witty or Eddie Gossling or Steve Hoffstetter would feel about being characterized in that manner. And we wonder how the folks who run The Comedy Club on State feel about the Capital Times describing their business model in that manner.

“Underground comedy is real and it’s the truth. It’s First Amendment with jokes,” says one of the disgruntled, local, twentysomething acts with a day job.

It’s “underground comedy” now, dontcha know. And… it’s The Truth!

That’s it– It’s The Truth! What those other schmucks are doing onstage at you-know-where bears no resemblance to be The Truth! How can it? The audience… is laughing! Where are the awkward pauses? Where is the uncomfortable shifting in the seats? Where are all the walkouts when the comic touches upon a subject that is strictly taboo?!?!?

That’s it! America wants awkward! “What’s in vogue in comedy these days isn’t stand-up, but awkward ‘found comedy’ that works better on video than live onstage,” according to another disgruntled, local, twentysomething comic with a day job. Excuse me, ladies, who ordered the sour grapes?

In the comedy clubs, says yet another disgruntled, local, twentysomething comic with a day job, “you’re going to get what’s watered down because people are going to be afraid to say what’s on their mind. It’s almost like you gotta crack a joke and then look at your lawyer.” (Wow! The local paper doesn’t have attorneys, but the comics do!) What a curious place Madison is!

While we admire the comics who strike out on their own and develop a stage or two where they can dabble in standup or performance that uses unorthodox methods or that addresses subjects not commonly thought of as fodder for standup. But we’re baffled by the hostility and the general pissiness that they so often display when making their case to the public via the press. They may be developing their entrepreneur and impresario skills, but they should brush up on their diplomat and publicist skills as well.

There are some comics (trapped in the middle of the Madison scene) who see the merit to both The Comedy Club and the “underground” stages. But the disgruntled crew (and their enabler at the Capital Times) should find a better way of differentiating their product from the others. Or maybe they should just move the 237 miles to The Cities.

Read the entire piece, if you must.