At 1:22 PM today, this hit the wires:

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif., Jan. 12 /PRNewswire/ — Conan O’Brien released the following statement.

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

SOURCE Conan O’Brien

Emphasis ours. It sounds like he is willing to walk. And this statement is a forehand smash… the ball, it seems is back in NBC’s court.

We’re posting this from the Bolt Bus. That’s right, we’re whizzing along the New Jersey Turnpike, laptop ablaze, accessing the internet onboard a bus– er, luxury motorcoach– after trekking to Manhattan this afternoon to do an interview for an upcoming documentary about standup comedy. Is not this technology the coolest thing ever? (We mean the internet and the laptop… not the bus so much.)

Bolt Bus: Regular service between Cherry Hill, NJ (minutes from SHECKYmagazine HQ!) and 34th and 8th Ave in NYC for anywhere from $1 to $10 each way. Total time of the trip is about 1:50, sometimes a bit longer, sometimes a bit shorter. We’ve done it three times now and we’ve found the buses to be clean and– so far– safe. And they’ve got wireless!! And AC outlets! And a bathroom… although we haven’t used it once… because, well, it’s a bathroom on a bus!

As for Conan: He sounds crushed. He also sounds like he’d bolt in a second. But he sounds like he’d rather stay. (But we have little faith that NBC will “do the right thing,” whatever that is.) Sounds like Leno is the man who is between a rock and a hard place. What. A. Mess.

We feel for all parties involved. Especially Leno. Forced out of 11:30 (when at the top!), compelled to do a show at ten (thereby incurring the wrath of all kinds of Hollywood types), then publicly repatriated to the 11:30 spot for a half-hour show– all the while keeping his (famously large) chin up.