Do you have a great opener?
Do you have a great opener?
Not an opening act… but a great opening line.
It seems to loom large when you first start out.
“I need a great opening line. A joke that will establish what I am, what I am capable of… what is my essence!”
And, let’s face it– opening lines are important– especially early on. But, after a while, some of us lose sight of just how important an opening line might be.
The Halves of the Staff were discussing the very subject of opening lines over a recently-opened bottle of George Dickel Cascade Hollow Red Label. We concluded that the Male Half hadn’t been using/depending upon an opener for some time now… or only intermittently, when the situation called for it (a short set, a TV set maybe), and that the Female Half had been using an opening line that was only usable for a longer club set. So… she was at a loss as to what to how to forcefully open when doing a shorty. Two different dilemmas, but both centering upon the all-important opening line.
Which got us to thinking about the importance of, and the utility, of the opening line.
As did the particular situation we find ourselves in lately. We’re prepping for a gig where we’ll be called upon to do a 30-minute set that’s clean, a 30- minute set that’s R-rated and, possibly, another five-minute clean set… and no material may be repeated over the three sets. (It’s a cruise.)
As such, our attention has been focused on maximizing the impact of our acts in each of those three scenarios… so our brains have been split. We began to view the three situations as wholly contained, individual sets. And that each of those sets should have a strong opening. Which got us to thinking about the nature of the opening line and how we regard it.
After you’ve graduated from the open mikes, you find yourself with a dense 20 minutes. And, because you can hold our own for 20 or 30, that opening doesn’t seem so vitally important. So, quite naturally, the attention you pay to the opening, the priority you place on that first 30 seconds or so, is diminished.
After a little while, you’re headlining shows, you’re paying an inordinate amount of attention to the closing material. And it is very likely you haven’t paid nearly as much attention to that opening as you should have.
But now, in this particular pickle, the Male Half has written two openings. So far, so good. The Female Half is pretty sure she’s come up with something that’s appropriate for the R-rated set. But, she’s still up in the air as to how to open the clean show.
Having said all that, what exactly is your opener? Have you put any extraordinary thought into it? Have you changed it regularly? Have you found it advantageous to keep it just the way it is for a long time?
After all, it is a great comfort to have the opening taken care of. Think back to your open mike days. That moment– the second when the echo of your intro fades and the applause (should there be any) dies down and you are faced with the prospect of making something out of nothing– is the moment that you fixate on in the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds prior. And rightfully so.
And, years down the line, you may be forced to re-examine the importance of that moment… for a variety of reasons. And we are reminded of exactly why it’s important– to you and to them, out there, in the crowd.
Have you kept your opening the way it is for a long time, but with an eye toward changing it should the exact, right, beautiful, shining, pulsating replacement come along? Have you given up finding that corker? That devastating, in-your-face introduction that sets a tone and maybe carries you through the first five or ten minutes?
Or have you found a way around it? Is it just not that important in the grand scheme of things? We’re torn.
If you want a great illustration of a gutsy opening, check out Jon Dore’s opening for his Conan set. It’s a meta-approach to the opening, but it’s wildly funny and satisfying.
13 Responses
Reply to: Do you have a great opener?
Boston Festival winner Dave Mcdonough has the best opening line I’ve ever heard. “Awww shit.” I have a great admiration for good opening lines, and I’ve never had one myself. I feel more comfortable with one that’s ‘in the moment,’ but still gets me to the first bit quickly.
We love Prof. Irwin Corey’s opening. He bounds onto the stage, dressed in his traditional, rumpled tails and red high-top Converse, walks purposefully to the mikestand, then… past the mikestand… then, doubles back to it, plants himself behind the mike, looks out at the crowds and says, “Furthermore…” We saw him do that at the State Theater in Easton back in 2006 or so (he was 90 or so at the time) and it killed!
My favorite opening lines riff on something that just came before – the decor of the room, or the crash-n-burn of the preceding comic.
Most recently, I opened my set before a clean ‘n’ sober set, asking: “Where my drinkers at??” A little corny, but it made me laugh, and them, too.
I’m still looking for a go-to opener. I would think that if you’re looking to pave the way for a cruise ship set, you might split the spontaneity difference, and call out something common to all cruise ships: food, seasickness, the recent news item where a ship lost all power and the captives/cruisegoers had to eat peanut butter and insulation until they could be towed to shore. (I’ve never been on a cruise, but you get the idea) God knows you don’t need *my* advice; just my two cents.
Excellent meditation on the opener – keep up the good work.
Ha! Cruise comics are currently advised (at least on Carnival) to make no mention of the recent troubles, lest they be canned on the spot!
But it is common practice among comics to craft cruise-specific material, if not for the opener then for the body of the set. There seems to be a lot of “stock” material that floats around, used by cruise directors mainly, that centers on the cruise experience. Some comics are now tackling the cruise experience and attempting to write material about it that isn’t like the million cruise jokes that came before it. It can be done.
The Male Half did one cruise, during the Christmas holidays of 2007, but was so utterly focused on the sets that he wrote only one or two throwaway lines (regarding onboard sanitation). Both Halves went on a cruise exactly one year later (The Male Half being booked), and again wrote nothing about cruises.
We’re told, on one hand, that it is advisable to write “cruise material.” On the other hand, we hear (apocryphal?) tales of comics who actually do certain jokes about the cruise and are summarily dismissed or at least banished from the cruise circuit for doing so. And there are caveats that accompany contracts and itineraries that proscribe certain subjects which are so vague as to make one wary of even tackling the task of making light of the cruise experience.
We suppose it can be done, if it’s done with care. Pretty much like anything else.
My two favorite opening lines are by 2 very funny veteran comedians.
1) The Legendary Wid. ” If it wasn’t for the icy roads this place would be PACKED!” ( probably written in 1950)
2) Ross Bennett’s. He walks out and looks at the audience and says ” Believe me folks, I’m just as disappointed as you are.”
This is an interesting topic.
JFK
Bennett’s timing on that, if we recall correctly, is priceless. And we think there might be a heavy sigh just before launching into it, which makes it that much better.
Ben Creed. “This would be a great job if it wasn’t for the flying and performing for you fucks.”
Ben Creed is hilarious.
A reliable opener that’s funny is challenging enough, but one that’s funny AND establishes who I am as a comic…haven’t landed on that perfect gem yet.
Like a lot of comics, I hate hearing the old “I look like [x] and [y] had a baby” or “I look like [x] on crack” opener, but audiences never seem to tire of them.
I hate those kind of openers too, with one exception. Todd Glass’ “Mel Gibson/Fred Flintstone opener has spawned so many other bits (the John Goodman bit, the “I’m gonna stop doing the Mel Gibson/Fred Flintstone bit” bit, and the “What if they though I meant that” bit, that it has transcended the “I look like someone” genre in my opinion. Of course, Todd Glass is a genius.
Hip hip.
Uh… Hooray?
I forget who I saw do it, but I always liked, “How’m I doin’ on time?” It’s inside-y though.
I feel, headlining, that I open different every night. I try and write at least one local joke for every where I go, and if I can’t get something on the town, I do a couple in-the-room observations on the club itself.
That’s not at all what you need right now though. You’re looking for an efficient and effective opener on a short set. Without knowing the content of the rest of the set, it’s hard to help, though. Different sets require different openers.
Leno booker Bob Read always said, “quick laugh, incorporate your point of view, and how they see you.” Jimmy Pardo used to start with, “What does it take to rock this toilet? I’m not kidding. This is a shit gig for me.” Which totally sets up what you’re going to be getting from him for the rest of the show.
As far as pacing for TV sets go, I’ve always felt the rule for my own style is, whatever joke gets the most laughs the quickest is my opener.
It’s a good question though. Definitely blog here about what you guys go with in the end when you do the cruise try out.