It’s Minneapolis and Nashville.

They take over the Acme Comedy Co.

Did they just diss Dwight Slade? Did they show him mugging in a series of quick cuts and then show the judges/scouts yawning and looking uncomfortable? Or was it someone who looked like Slade?

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(Why put the juggler on if all you’re going to do is roll your eyes? Oops! There we go again! Asking dumb questions!)

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Did Doug Mellard just pronounce his name (his own name!) in two different ways in the space of twenty seconds? (First: mell-ARD, second: MELL-urd). We really should throw a tape into the VCR. (Sorry, folks, we don’t have Tivo.)

There seems to be an affinity among the scouts/judges this season for loooooong setups and weak (or relatively weak) payoffs. We suppose it’s that a short, choppy delivery (otherwise known as setup/punchline) is out of vogue. It’s all part of the trend to “disguise” the joke, to behave in a non-comic mode.

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The Minneapolis scouts seem to be unaware that, during the auditions, the comics are peforming in a decidely un-showlike circumstance. Oh, sure, we’ve done our set for two people before– as a formality, to show the producers of a television show what we’re going to do on the taping, maybe. But, by that time, we already had the gig. But the judges are saying things like, “You kinda rushed your set!” Duh! Pros can do the set like the house is packed. But anyone short of that is going to rush, is going to jam up the timing, direct the jokes to the floor. It’s kinda piling on to mention that the comic isn’t doing his/her set all that well in such a crazy setting.

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Last Comic Driving: Eddie Pence. “The tallest person in his family.” We’re back to tall comedy! (We recall comedy clubs excitedly promoting upcomin appearances by Pam Stone breathlessly telling audiences that “she’s really tall! So buy your tickets now!” (We actually heard one club owner say, “Last time she was here, she hit her head on the ceiling and it was hil-LAR-ious!”) Puzzling, to say the least. Tall Comedy competed briefly with Hair Comedy. Comics with funny haircuts were all the rage!)

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The Last Comic Driving is the bravest of any comedian on any given episode– he’s getting into a car (ostensibly) piloted by a British driver! (Brits in America are driving on the wrong side of the car, on the wrong side of the road! The Male Half drove a car around Ireland for ten days– on the wrong side of the car, on the wrong side of the road– with a stick shift!)

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Four weeks into the season and we’re already stunned at the amount of negative feelings we’re encountering via email and comments concerning our Last Comic Standing analysis. We’ve had a shitty week, so we’re not in the mood.

So, we’ll give our most vocal critics the review they want to hear.

We’re aboslutely awed by the caliber of acts that are making it onto the showcases this year! It’s astounding how competent, how assured and how ready they all are to headline! And the freak acts– the ones with the googly-eyed glasses and the big, fuzzy beards and the hats with funny sayings– just got us tearing up with laughter. We think that comedy club owners should seriously consider just bringing in some of those kooky extroverts as headliners! It’s what America loves, after all! It is obvious to us that these reality show producers know far more about standup than anyone who’s been in this business for two decades or so. This show is one big, fat boon to standup comedy. This show is the best thing to happen to standup!

There. Now leave us alone. At least for a week.

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According to our Minneapolis recap, back on February 20, Pete Lee, Dan Cummins and John Evans got red envelopes. And, according to this evening’s episode, nobody got boned. All three were depicted as moving onto the big enchilada.

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Zanies in Nashville was the site of the auditions for the second part of tonight’s episode. When we recapped the Nashville show on March 4, we said that Heath Hyche, Erin Jackson, Taylor Mason, Mary Mack and Dale Jones got the crimson packet.

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That was former local musical comedian Pat Godwin (formerly of the Morning Zoo crew on Philadelphia’s WMMR and current regular on Bob & Tom), who did the Bono impression and ventriloquist and South Jersey resident Taylor Mason (he lives about five minutes from SHECKYmagazine HQ) who appeared with the ventriloquist dummy.

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Good for Ratzenberger and Wendt– they acknowledged that the audition situation was unnatural and not optimum.

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Killer Beaz acuitted himself nicely at the evening show, even wedging in his trademark “Save up!” We admire Beaz for informing Wendt and Ratzenberger that he’d been at this thing for 26 years. Good for him for not lying and saying he’s only been doing it for seven!

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They’re showing a lot more standup in tonight’s episode! Fewer freaks and the taped packages are mercifully few and mercifully brief. Next week’s episode will show the secret Miami audition– the one where they flew a bunch of comics in from London and didn’t open it up to the local Miami/So. Florida comics. And then they’re going to show the beginning of the Vegas leg of the competition.

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“If you’re not nervous, you shouldn’t be doing this,” says Drew Thomas. Did he mean standup? Or Last Comic Standing? We’re not sure we agree if it’s the former. We’re not sure if we agree if it’s the latter, either. Some folks are nervous, some folks aren’t. Most folks, we would venture, lose that after a year or two or three. We suppose Thomas didn’t mean it… perhaps he was nervous.

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On the advantages of appearing on Last Comic Standing, Heath Hyche says, “Instead of selling 38 tickets on a Thursday night, I’ll sell 380!” Heath! As a friend, we must tell you that you should have said, “Instead of selling 200 tickets on a Thursday night, I’ll sell 2000!” (If you tell a network TV audience that you only sell 38 tickets on a Thursday night, the phone will stop ringing!)

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Taylor Mason was not shown to have received a red envelope at the conclusion of the Nashville evening showcase. He’s one of the unlucky 16 who were enveloped then disinvited to Vegas. (See the posting, “Red Envelope Madness” below.)