"It is one of the enduring delusions of Americans that everyone-- especially Canadians-- secretly wishes they could become Americans."

--From Canadian History for Dummies, Will Ferguson, 2000 CDG BOOKs

I am certain that most of the participants at this year's JFL sound, as we here at SHECKYmagazine.com do, like frogs-- vocal chords shredded from barking out our schmooze-bites over the din. (That din is a mixture of amplified music, amplified talking and hearty laughter, and it still echoes in the ears as we head south on I-87.) In the space of 91 hours,we shared a laugh or a factoid with hundreds of comics or "industry" and even the occasional civilian who happens to get caught in the undertow of this sprawling comedy fest. We've been bombarded with a lot of information over the past four days. Since we only take mental notes, it takes some conscious effort to access, process and file the information. Pics help.

One question most often asked is, "Who got the buzz?" or "Who got signed to a big deal?" (The smart alecks ask, "Who was this year's Chicken?") Read Variety or the Hollywood Reporter or Back Stage West ("Reps, Execs Scan for Talent at Just for Laughs Festival"), you can find articles, most likely written before the start of the Fest, that talk about this comic or that comic who "excited" the industry folks. Or articles that speculate on "who entertainment executives expressed early interest in" and how they "exchanged early buzz" about some acts. (Whatever that means!?)

According to the Gazette's daily reviews the buzzees (at least at the galas) were Max Alexander, Greg Giraldo, Jimmy Carr, Emo and Suli McCullough. But that's just one account. The Gazette's recap of Saturday's Tina Fey-hosted gala made no mention of Mitch Fatel, but our informal survey indicated that he was "the one that killed" on that night's bill. Proving, once again, that comedy is sooo subjective and that buzz is hard to define. Another of our informal surveys indicated that, while a wide variety of acts had killer sets, most of those same comics also had good (but not killer) sets, on a different night, at a different venue-- it seems that no one hit a Grand Slam by smoking the room at each and every opportunity (which seems to be a key ingredient in obtaining that elusive "buzz").

Attendance at this year's Talent vs. Industry Basketball game was much healthier than last year's! And the number of participants was up, at least on the talent side of the scorer's table. The score? We forget. We will say this with certainty: SULI MCCULLOUGH has a most unorthodox jumpshot (left-handed) that, against all the rules of nature, goes in with alarming frequency. We will also say that ALONZO BODDEN seems ever larger on the court and that he has obviously played this game a few times in the past (one dunk, one perfectly executed alley-oop). New Face LACHLAN PATTERSON was also huge, also possessed a startling vertical leaping ability. Note to rep and management companies: In the future, please consider applicants' vertical leap and muscular coordination when hiring. Disclaimer from Brian McKim: "I was forced onto Industry team at signup... at the time, there were 'too many talent signups' according to the signup lady." Mckim's stats: 3 rebounds, one missed shot.

Inclement weather forced the annual Comedy Network Barbecue indoors, into the largest ballroom. Healthy attendance, unhealthy food (hamburgers, dogs, fries-- ain't complaining, just observing--it's a barbecue, ya gotta serve the classics!) A nice T-shirt was handed to each attendee this year and there were plenty of objects on hand that were perfect for throwing (what is the Comedy Network's obsession with providing alcohol besotted comedians with objects that are perfect for throwing?!) And a chill went up the spine when, after we downed two hamburgers, we read in the Sunday Gazette that Alberta cattle farmers are considering slaughtering 740,000 cattle. (It's "Plan B of the Mad Cow contingency plan" says the article. Apparently, Plan A was feeding all the beef in Canada to the participants in the 2003 Just For Laughs Festival!) I will worry only when half of the comics in LA spontaneously start doing Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy bits every time onstage.

This year, just like last year, there was no huge bash announced for Saturday night. This is a nasty trend, perhaps encouraged by the airlines-- fewer billious passengers recovering from the Comedy Central bacchanal makes for a happier Sunday morning plane ride for the flight attendants!

Hey-- What's the deal with putting DAVE MORDAL on The Big City Show? ("Join big city comics as they make their hilarious voice heard over the construction, the traffic jams and that screaming nut on Ste. Catherine St.") Last time we looked, Mordal hailed from Elk River, MN (44 square miles, population of 18,000!), and, in an early episode of Last Comic Standing, Mordal was adamant about how much he "hates big cities!"

BILL COSBY did two shows at the Place des Arts, a few blocks east of the Delta. The appearance, an unofficial/official part of the JFL, created quite a stir among comedy afficianados, inside and outside of the biz.

OUT OF STEAM? Looks like the Tonight Show stunt-- the one where they hooked up with Just For Laughs and picked a standout from the Fest to do an eventual Tonight Show spot-- has run its course. We conclude this because this year, there was a near-zero awareness of the show's presence here in Montreal! No talk, no glaring lights from a film crew, nothing! If any TV show had a presence here this year, it was Last Comic Standing. It seems like every day, in every crevice of the Delta, harsh lights were slowly baking either RICH VOS, DAVE MORDAL or CORY KAHANEY during a zany "spontaneous" interview.

FRENCH IMPRESSIONIST--Stay tuned for DAN FRENCH's take on the whole l'affair du comedie. French spent four days here and took many mental notes. His "What Works" column will, we are certain, be based on his impressions during this, his first, experience at the Just For Laughs festival.

ADVICE (UNSOLICITED): Our hats are off to the performers at this year's fest. It is a gruelling marathon of radio shots, sound checks, parties, schmoozing and, of course, performance under high-pressure situations. If we had any advice for anyone contemplating a trip north for next year's fest, it would be this: If you don't already know of a friend or two who will be in attendance, try to somehow bring along a friend or two of your own. The advantages are many. You'll have your very own "no-spin" zone, a place to retreat from the hype and the nonsense, and you'll be more relaxed! Also, take good care of your voice! Elsewise, you'll sound like a honking Canada goose by Saturday night!