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COMICS FIND NUCLEAR CARRIER’S SECURITY LAUGHABLE
MANAMA CITY, BAHRAIN-- Frustrated with their inability to secure a guided tour of the USS Harry Truman, comedians Warren Durso and Marc Yaffee took matters into their own hands, making their way unescorted from a nearby U.S. base onto the nuclear powered aircraft carrier anchored in the Arabian Sea.
The Truman, deployed as part of Operation Enduring Freedom had recently
Launched its jets in air strikes against insurgents in Western Iraq. The ship’s crew was enjoying a three-day liberty at the U.S. Navy’s Fifth Fleet Headquarters in Manama City, Bahrain, where Durso and Yaffee were performing comedy shows. Bahrain is an island nation off the coast of Saudi Arabia and about 400 miles south of Iraq.
Yaffee, a Northern California comic and Durso, an L.A. based standup, met a number of navy personnel based on the Truman and decided to try and get a tour of the massive warship but heard nothing back from official channels. Finally, armed only with their base civilian passes and blind curiosity, the comedians followed the sailors for the boat. First, they boarded a shuttle bus where they displayed their ID’s to a Navy Shore Patrolman and were let on. The bus dropped them at the Port of Bahrain.
"At this point, I’m like, c’mon, we’re not going to get much farther than this." said Yaffee. Durso was unfazed. "No, let’s just keep our heads down and keep moving," he suggested.
Lo and behold, Durso’s inkling paid off as they were waved thru a checkpoint manned by armed navy guards. Reaching another checkpoint, the pair again flashed their IDs and were soon shuffling onto a waiting ferry for a thirty minute boat ride out to the Truman with navy personnel
Here we are two forty-something guys mixed in with a bunch of 20-year olds and no one is giving us more than a second glance," observed Durso. Yaffee, 43, is a father of two with graying hair while Durso, 46, sports two hoop earrings.
Armed Navy patrol boats, shadowed the ferry for protection against possible terrorists attacks, clueless as to the two jokers on board.
Explained Yaffee, "Our intention was just to see how far we ‘d get before being turned back. We never expected getting to the ship, especially as we never lied or sneaked passed anyone. We just kept showing our IDs and getting waved thru."
As the ferry pulled up to the rear of the Truman, waiting personnel assisted the pair up a walkway and into the rear hangar bay. Once in the hangar yet another checkpoint awaited them. Since they had no bags or gear, Durso and Yaffee were waved right through to a metal detector. Durso was especially surprised when he cleared that machine without triggering its alarm. "Hell, I’ve got titanium hips," said Durso "Those things can’t even make it past the metal detector at the Viper Room."
"Now we’re on a nuclear carrier unescorted, trying to look like we belong there," said Yaffee. "The fact is we’re about as military looking as Cheech and Chong."
They asked a crewmember to use a ship phone where they called the extension of some sailors they had met at their shows. "We had told these guys we were trying for the tour, so they assumed we were on the carrier with permission," said Durso.
"We stopped by, said hello and asked for directions to the galley. Then we worked our way to the flight deck where we got some great pictures."
The pair went back down through the hangar bays, got a few more snapshots in front of aircraft and then headed for a waiting ferry loading at the rear of the ship.
"We were actually walking right behind the ship’s captain," Yaffee mused. "I wanted to say hello to him and shake his hand but I thought we’d pretty much pushed our luck."
The crazy part said, Durso, "It was harder to get into the Internet cafe on base than getting onto the Truman."
Next stop for the comedy duo, slip into Cave Junction, Afghanistan, and pull the plug on Osama Bin Laden’s dialysis machine and save the world.
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