We asked JOE STARR a few questions about his experience performing at a comedy festival in Holland.

1. How did a comic from the states wind up at a festival in Holland?

While performing at this years Just For Laughs festival, I was approached by Marcel Haug who is the talent scout for the Amsterdam Comedy Festival. He asked me if I had a passport and would I like to perform in Holland? A quick “yes” to both questions and I was on my way in late August.

2. Do many U.S. and Canadian standup comics perform at the festival?

Oh sure. This year was a heavy line up: Ben Bailey, Jimmy Dore, Drue Franklin, Romont Harris, Courtney Gee, Maria Bamford, Paul Provenza, Kyle Grooms, Robert Kelly, Debra Terry, and Tony Woods, all from the U.S. Mike Wilmott and Ron Vaudry came from Canada. And three more from the UK: Stan Stanley, Nina Conti and William Sutton.

3. Are most of the shows in English? Were you concerned about having to overcome any language barriers?

All of the shows were in English. Being that English is their second language, there was a translation lag between the punchline and the laugh. Much longer than usual. But once you got the rhythm down it wasn’t a problem. After the shows people would taught me curse words and stuff. Now I am bilingually crude.

4. What kind of schedule did you have to maintain? How many shows? How much press?

I did four shows in three days. One of which was a television spot done in the evening. We didn’t have any press to do. No radio, no interviews, nothing. The days were pretty much open.

5. Did you have much of an opportunity to do any sightseeing and enjoy the country?

Oh yeah! Loved the country. We were actually in Rotterdam which is an hour from Amsterdam. I toured through Rotterdam, Liden, The Hague and Amsterdam. Everyone was
beautiful, in shape and healthy… it was annoying. After the third day I couldn’t wait to get back to the states and see a fat, ugly person just to reset my reality meter. It was my first time in Europe but it won’t be my last.

For Laughing Out Loud My Life and Good Times
Ed Mcmahon with David Fisher
Copyright 1998
Warner Books
Page 283-284

Listen, an appearance on Star Search changed a lot of lives. Rosie O’Donnell was performing in a Long Island comedy club when Claudia discovered her. Her routine was based on her experiences in Catholic school, which wasn’t right for our show, but Claudia felt she had something special. So she offered her a second audition. But before that audition she worked with her, helping her select the right outfit, the most flattering hairstyle, and her best material. For Rosie, this really was a last chance. It was just a few months before her twenty-fourth birthday and she had decided to quit show business if she wasn’t successful by that day. Her second audtition was much better and she was picked for the show. Ironically, the first person she competed against was the owner of the Long Island comedy club where Claudia had found her. Rosie won five weeks.

And this, from Page 285:

We missed a few good ones too. Tim Allen audtioned for Claudia five different times and never got on the show. She felt he was much better as a comedic actor than as a stand-up comedian. Finally he asked her, “What’s the problem, why aren’t I getting on?”

“You’re material is too male-oriented,” she told him. “Car jokes and home tool jokes just don’t make me laugh.” Years later, after his great success on Home Improvement, she saw him in a restaurant and sent him a note reading, “Well, at least I was right about your ability as a comic actor.”

Standup comic Greg Behrendt is white-hot these days. He and Liz Tuccillo have collaborated on a book (see below) and word is that he and his co-author are going to be sucking up the entire hour on Oprah this Wednesday (check your newspaper for local showtime). He’s getting hits in media all over the planet, as is evidenced by the article in the Edmonton Sun (see excerpt below).

According to a brash new book, men are not complicated and they’re not sending mixed messages.

The truth may be quite simple, and it’s summed up in the book’s title, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $28.95).

Based on an episode of the TV show Sex and the City, it tells women how to judge when a man just isn’t into them enough so they that can stop wasting their time and making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Behrendt and Tuccillo both worked for Sex and the City. Read the entire clip here.

Now that Last Comic Standing has degenerated into a confusing, muddled mess, it is with some sadness that we say that it’s no longer fun to watch. The viewers aren’t getting to know the comics, the performances seem rushed. (Host/Emcee Mohr reminds us of John Astin’s Evil Roy Slade– firing a six-shooter at the feet of the hapless comedians while maniacally exhorting them to “Dance! Bang! Bang! Yee haw! Dance! Dance!”)

How did it all go so wrong? The producers and the network got greedy. Nothing new there. Instead of taking their sweet old time (like the producers of American Idol who patiently waited and which, we predict, will have a franchise that lasts for at least 3 more seasons.) Instead, they’ve killed the goose (you know the one with sparkly eggs?) and they’ve given ammunition to those who like to mindlessly repeat that TV killed comedy.

We read in USA Today that the Nielsen’s for L.C.S. Season III went from 30th overall two weeks ago to 50th place this past week. Devastating. It also reminds us of the time they tinkered with (and subsequently killed) Star Search back in 1992 or thereabouts. They had a classic weekly syndicated show that garnered solid ratings. Then they switched it to a five-night a week show, with a special Saturday installment. They also changed the judging rules to a wacky, hard-to-follow format that caused headaches, nausea and all manner of maladies. The result: The show sank like a turd and the credit was worthless (As Brian found out firsthand!) and another fowl that kicked out spheres made of precious metal was senselessly murdered.

Who, besides the comedy business in general, are the losers in all of this? Who’s been victimized? Unless (and that’s a big “unless”) John Heffron wins Season III, he’ll be hurt by not being allowed to bask in the glory of being crowned Season II Winner for an entire year. Alonzo Bodden comes in a close second in the “Screwed” Department. The Comics From Season I are not helping themselves at all by openly admitting that they’re inferior to the comics from Season II (every chance they get)! Jessica Kirson, who probably thought she had died and gone to Comedy Heaven, landed in a very special Comedy Hell when she was unceremoniously bounced from the show with ligthning speed.

Who wins in all of this? Jay Mohr, comes away from the smoldering pile with a producing credit, some spending money and tons of face time. Bonnie “Nostradamus” McFarlane wins big-time for being the first and only one to speedily row away from this shipwreck. The Comedy Clubs will win for a bit– The press will continue to spill ink on any L.C.S. Comic (Winner or loser) who swaggers into town. And, of course, the comics on the team that continues to win week in and week out– should the show continue through its proposed eight weeks– will win money at the very least.

On July 3, 2003, on our Like We Care page (remember that?), we wrote the following about Last Comic Standing, Season I:

LAST COMIC STANDINGS– In Las Vegas, you can find someone willing to handicap anything anything. Take, for example, this– Johnny’s Exotic Odds is offering odds, for entertainment purposes only, on who will be the Last Comic Standing.

RALPHIE MAY 4/1

TESS DRAKE 4/1

DAVE MORDAL 5/1

RICH VOS 7/1

TERE JOYCE 8/1

CORY KAHANEY 10/1

DAT PHAN 12/1

GEOFF BROWN 15/1

SEAN KENT 20/1

ROB CANTRELL 25/1

No explanation as to how Mr. Johnny arrived at the above. Of course, the chances that the viewers (or the business of standup comedy) might win are a million to one.

Of course, we were wrong about that last bit. The business benefited greatly. The clubs felt a “Rockwell Bounce,” an uptick in attendance and excitement, named (by us!) after Rick Rockwell. We define a Rockwell Bounce as any upswing in business which is attributable to a high-profile, but not necessarily objectively good, thing. Rockwell was a cause celebre after he was featured on Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire and his subsequent swing through the circuit drew many a new fan (and probably a few old, estranged ones) into the clubs.

In the run-up to L.C.S. Season II, we ran some grousing about the audition process (supplied by a reader), and we were skeptical about the whole affair:

To which we respond: Thanks for the report from the field. We here at SHECKYmagazine.com, after watching only the second installment of L.C.S.’s first season predicted that the sequel (and we knew there’d be a sequel) would be corrupted– an agent-driven affair, not pretending to be like the first season in any way, shape or form. The fact that a seasoned veteran like Regan is on board is proof of that. The ruse that NBC is perpetrating is somewhat disturbing but not unexpected. We seem to recall that legions of “bobbysoxers” were recruited to swoon over Frank Sinatra at a crucial New York City appearance marking the launch of his solo career in 1942.

As long as seasoned pros are being recruited, we appeal to the producers of LCS: “Hey, how about a plucky, married couple to wreak havoc in the comics’ house on this season’s LCS?!?! Sortofa combination of LCS and The Newlyweds, except that we’ve been married for 15 years… and Traci’s a lot smarter than Jessica Simpson. I smell ratings gold!

We were dead-on about the corruption. And, whaddya know– they did go for a plucky married couple (Tom Cotter and Kerri Louise)!

Clarification: The Regan referred to above was Brian Regan, whom, it was rumored, was trying out for Season II. Not sure what came of that. Also: We weren’t speaking from personal experience when we cited the 1942 incident, although it may have sounded so!

We’ll continue to watch. We’ll continue to comment. Who knows, maybe the whole affair will perk up a bit and things won’t be a gloomy as we fear. In the meantime, let’s hope that UPN or WB or Fox has a clone in the works– “Fox is pleased to announce Rick Rockwell will host Trading Punchlines! in Spring 2005, bringing the best in up and coming comedy talent competing in a Survivor-style reality series that promises to bring you the drama of blah, blah, blah…”

Marc Berman, writing in his Wednesday Media Week column, said the following:

…Father of the Pride built from lead-in Last Comic Standing 3 (#4: 4.7/ 7; Viewers: #4, 5.98 million; A18-49: #4, 2.4/ 7) by 64 percent in the overnights, 3.60 million viewers and 67 percent among adults 18-49. After three editions, it might be time for Last Comic Standing to call it quits.

Ouch. We are inclined to agree with Mr. Berman. More to follow.

A SHECKYmagazine reader writes:

Dear SHECKY person:

I have been searching the net for information about Theodore, a monologist who I saw on a number of occasions in the early ’60s in Manhattan. I’ve had no luck. Do you know of a web site, book or other written material that I might look out for?

Bob Greenstein

We advise Mr. Greenstein (or anyone seeking information about the late Brother Theodore) to click here. For those of you who want a preview…

It seemed that Theodore was born lucky, November 11, 1906. His family was extraordinarily wealthy and he had the best of everything, though his autocratic and disciplinarian father sometimes made life difficult. The Gottlieb family owned magazines and had great influence. Theodore recalled that in 1926 Einstein spent three months as a guest. At one memorable party Theodore witnessed someone approach The Great Man and ask, “Is there life after death?” Einstein replied: “How the hell should I know!”

Years later, Theodore would become virtually the only comedian to rage a losing battle against existentialism. While his contemporaries such as Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce took on politics and sociology, only Theodore made a career out of speaking what was REALLY on peoples’ minds: what is the meaning of life, how does one cope with death, and what’s behind the beyond.

Theodore recalled “being gloomy” in his youth, and (to his father’s chagrin) studying “useless” things like art and philosophy in college. The philosophy in Germany changed during the 30′s: “suddenly…we were Jewish pestiferous rats that had to be exterminated.” The Nazis took the family’s money, mansion, and finally, their lives. Theodore was the only family member to survive Dachau where he saw the tortures first hand and Nazi guards “roaring with laughter” watching men eaten alive by vicious dogs.

Escaping to America, Theodore worked as a janitor at Stanford University and toiled for three years in a shipyard in San Francisco. He put his savings into a serious one-man concert which flopped miserably. No one came to hear his soliloquies, or his version of “The Tell-Tale Heart.” After seven years of struggling in poverty, his wife left him for his best friend. Theodore’s only son went with her.

The story brightens a bit at the end. And it serves as a lesson for any of us who might find ourselves in the enviable position of running a talk show:

He made 36 appearances on The Merv Griffin Show, and it was Griffin who dubbed the dour performance artist/comedian “Brother” Theodore, based on the priest-like black turtleneck he wore.

He appeared on Johnny Carson‘s Tonight Show (demanding to know why Johnny was asking such “wishy washy questions”) and an admiring Dick Cavett had him on for a half-hour, even allowing Theodore to sit at a desk and perform a segment from his show.

Of course, we all probably know Theodore from his appearances on Late Night and Late Show, both hosted by David Letterman. Theodore died April 5, 2001. We ran his obit in this very magazine.

From an unidentified source:

WB is moving along with a comedy special that will also act as a pilot for a potential series, with comedian Ron White.

As everyone probably knows by now, they’re gone. Sorry, we were at an open mike. We’re watching the whole sorry affair on a grainy VHS recording. What is with Dave Mordal‘s hair? I know he made jokes about it, but how could he have gone on television with either of those do’s? And Jay London: You’d be such a pretty thing if you’d just get the hair out of your eyes!

On another note: We went to the open mike, but there wasn’t a crowd… oh, there was a crowd of comics there, but we’ve somehow lost the stomach required for going up in front of a crowd consisting mainly or totally of comics. Nice comics they were, and they might have actually appreciated our humor and all… but we just couldn’t bring ourselves to go up. Maybe next time.

Might not have any real-time commentary for folks on the Eastern or Central Zones– might go to an open mike tonight. However, we here in the “Pajama Media” (See multiple references in the WWW media, in conjunction with multiple CBS News/Forged Document stories!) feel an obligation to our readers. So, we might videotape it and do analysis later. (Sorry, we don’t got no stinking TiVo.) It’s tonight at 8PM EDT, if you’re setting your VCR.

Meanwhile, it’s good to see that NBC is taking a mature approach to all this. Take a a peek at the image below, taken from the NBC website, and check out how they manage to degrade the people who have been bounced from the show. (Why is the Groucho glasses thing such an enduring object? And why do so many comedy clubs still use Marx? Sure he was funny, but who, under the age of 40 even knows who he was? And, if they do, they certainly don’t associate him with standup. The same goes for Charlie Chaplin.)

Tommy sends along word that Nellie Andreeva, writing in the Hollywood Reporter, says that:

Louis C.K. will headline a comedy special for HBO as part of a deal that calls for the premium cable channel to develop a half-hour show for the Emmy-winning writer-producer.

We might be mistaken, but does Louis put periods in his last name? Isn’t it always just “CK?” Oh, well.