Do you ever watch or listen to tapes from your first year doing standup?

It's funny, I was searching for an audio tape of a band recently and I stumbled across a tape of me "practicing" my set in the car on the way to an open mike. It was the most uncomfortable 5 minutes I've ever listened to. Of course, had I been alive when the Hindenberg went down, my tape would be second.

When did you realize that you actually had what it takes to be a standup comic?

I never really had a revelation that I had what it takes, it was just the journey of becoming the best standup I could be. I kept hammering away at the open mikes, then opening and so on. I guess if I had to answer your question directly, I would say after my first open mike. That seems way to cocky, so let's say I still haven't realized it.

Was your personal life affected, both negatively and positively, when you became a full-time comic?

The positives are obvious; pursuing a dream, making money doing this art form etc... The negatives would be pursuing a dream, making crap money doing this art form, driving 12 hours between Keith Gisser one-niters and sucking in every single city! Thank God those days are over, the driving I mean. Not the sucking!

Have you ever considered quitting the business?

Just one time. It was 1992 and I was working Wacko's in Berwyn, Illinois. I was headlining long before I should have and was reminded of that every stinkin' show. On Sunday, I had the heckler that wants to kick my ass after the show. I'm locked up in the kitchen to avoid getting my ass kicked and after that show the feature act, Pete Schwaba, and I went for drinks and I honestly thought of just getting out, it was a fun few years, I tried it and at least I can tell my grand-kids that one day. Of course, Pete talked me out of it and I send him 3 dollars every week. I don't know why I chose 3 dollars, I just did.

You've appeared in nine unaired pilots. What's it like to not have your show picked up?

My girlfriend (now fiance, I got engaged 3 weeks ago) always compliments me on the fact that I take bad news very well, but the fact is it's horrible to not have a show get picked up. Having a show on the air can be a life changing event. Of course it could also mean nothing so now that I think about it, what's all the fuss about. I'll change my mind on this ten minutes after I press the send key.

What's the secret to surviving pilot season?

Don't go into it expecting anything. A lot of people with no connections come out to LA for pilot season and hope to land a sitcom and it never really happens. They then go back home disappointed and talk about how LA sucks and the guy with just five minutes got a show. Well, nine times out of ten that guy's been working his ass off for years.

As far as your future is concerned, do you have a Plan A and a Plan B?

What are you, my Dad? There is no plan B.

Which would you like to do for the rest of your life, acting or standup?

If there was a way for standup to be the way it was when Klein and Carlin were the top guns, I'd say standup. The fact is, you have to get a series to get that kind of club cache. My goal is a talk show, so I guess I'll add that to the question and say talk show.

What has been your best stand-up experience to date?

I can't really pinpoint a "best" as I find a reason to like different shows for different reasons. My favorite TV appearance was my second Craig Kilborn, it just clicked on every level.

The worst?

To be completely honest I would have to say My Tonight Show appearance. I performed well, but didn't really go over. It was the strangest 4 and half minutes. Here I am living my dream of doing the Tonight Show and I'm bombing! I pasted on a smile and just pretended like I wasn't. Now I know this doesn't compare to being booed off stage, and that's happened, but it left me with the biggest knot in my stomach.

What made you decide to do a one-man show?

Two reasons.

Business-wise, I've been banging around auditioning, doing TV spots and being told, "You're the funniest guy we've ever seen, we just don't know what to do with you," and I wanted to show them, or at least give them an idea. Then artistically, I had these stories that were just too long for the average comedy club audience and I wanted to see if they would work.

How much of the material were you already doing in your standup act?

There were a couple of lines that I would use every now and then and there was one story that I was doing for a while and may put back into the club act.

How important is the opinion of your comedy peers?

I would guess as important as if I had a real job and people respected the job I did. I have to be honest, it's a great feeling to have other comics say that you are their favorite comic.

Do you like performing in front of people that you know?

There are times when the crowd is so bad so it's fun to treat your friends as a sidekick, but for the most part I like discovering they were there after the show.

How much contact do you have with audience members after a show?

Before I sold a CD, none! In fact, I can't wait until I sell out of the damn thing so I don't have to stand there praying to all that is holy that they will buy one or at least glance my direction. We are basically begging every night for a new group of people's acceptance and to belabor that by hawking goods is so creepy to me.

How has management helped you?

In my case it's my agent and I can't begin to tell you how much it's helped. This can be a tough town when you don't have somebody on your team.

Was it what you expected?

I got very lucky that I found a guy that truly finds me funny and isn't just selling the flavor of the day. That makes all the difference in the world.

How often do you work on a TV set?

When I'm asked to.

Has stand-up changed you in any significant way as a person?

It changed me for the worse for many years and then I refound myself. That was neither meant religiously or New Agey.

Do you like writing for others? e.g.: Us Weekly's Fashion Police.

I get a kick out of helping somebody tighten a joke or working the beats of a new joke. I love the craft of standup and will discuss it forever, but I don't really do much writing for others. Hell, I barely do any writing for me! Fashion Police was fun, but I actually got a little bored doing it.

Is there anybody in the business that you would like to apologize to?

The dear readers of SHECKYmagazine.com that had to listen to me run my mouth for this article.

Is there anybody in the business that you would like to thank?

My agents Bruce and T.J., of course, but that seems like an easy answer so I'll say Mark Kolo of Funny Business. There was a time in my career that I was truly becoming myself on-stage and there were some growing pains. Mark kept me working when some clubs weren't all that thrilled with the idea of me coming back.

Inspirations?

Johnny Carson, Don Rickles and Robert Klein. Carson is the whole reason I got into this in the first place. If I can even come close to how comfortable that man was on stage... Straight standup wise it's Rickles and Klein. There was a time when saying Don Rickles wasn't cliche, but it's still Rickles and Robert Klein. I credit, and others disagree with me, Klein as the reason we do standup the way we do today.

Hop onto www.jimmypardo.com for the latest info on him.