Modified On December 22, 2005
State District Judge Daniel Sanchez has issued a restraining order against David Letterman on behalf of one Colleen Nestler, who “requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least 3 yards away and not ‘think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering.’ ”
Wait a minute… isn’t it Dave who is constantly hounded by crazy people who break into his house, invade his personal space, plot to kidnap his baby and generally make him question why he ever pursued fame and fortune in the first place?
Well, yes, it is. And that still applies.
Ms. Nester, in her application for the order, “began sending Letterman ‘thoughts of love’ after his Late Show began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East.”
Well, we here at SHECKYmagazine are readying our applications for restraining orders! First order: The Male Half of the Staff will get an order requesting that Britney Spears stay “at least 300 yards away from my crotchal area,” and that Ms Spears stop sending messages professing an undying love for the MHotS via her many videos. And the Female Half of the Staff is considering applying to a local court for an order restraining Mel Gibson from “approaching, contacting or leering at” her or any photos of her. (She’s been convinced that Gibson has been telegraphing vague confessions of yearning since his appearance as the retarded guy in the small film “Tim.” I mean, look at those tight shorts, wouldja?!)
Now, all we hafta do is find a judge stupid enough to issue the order and we’ll be bathing in the spotlight!