From Ballerstatus.net comes a report that Rudy Ray Moore is in intensive care in an Inglewood hospital. Tubes, monitors and the spectre of death does not prohibit Moore (also known as “Dolemite”) from bitching loudly about the appropriation of his other moniker, “The King of Comedy.”

“Steve Harvey and others have used the title ‘The Kings of Comedy,’ but I am the true king,” exclaims Moore from his hospital bed. “They never paid me any respect, they youngsters you know. But that’s ok, because I’m still standing! It was Red(sic) Fox(sic) and then I and Slappy White.”

We just love it when one of The Elders refers to middle-aged comics as “youngsters!” It sounds like Dolemite (the name comes from his monster-grossing cult film, which spawned a monster-grossing 1976 followup) has the necessary fire to come back from his current health troubles. We wish him well.

This posting set off a minor debate. The Male Half Of The Staff seemed to recall the mention of Dolemite in an old rap song. The song in question was “Jam On It,” but the artist was a mystery. Turns out it was Newcleus (pronounced “new-klee-us”).

Here’s the lyric in question, courtesy of LyricsOnDemand.com

That I got no force ’cause I’m down by law when it comes to rockin’ viciously, you see

‘Cause when I was a little baby boy my mama gave me a brand new toy

Two turntables with a mic, and I learned to rock like Dolymite

But there’s still a mystery! As Dolemite notes on his website:

DOLEMITE is not to be confused with DOLOMITE (CaMg(CO3)2, Calcium Magnesium Carbonate). Dolomite, which is named for the French mineralogist Deodat de Dolomieu, is a common sedimentary rock-forming mineral that can be found in massive beds several hundred feet thick.

The mystery persists because, as you may have noted, the Newcleus folks spelled it with a “y” (Understandable, considering how they chose to spell Nucleus.) So, we still have no idea if they’re referring to the comic/superhero or to calcium magnesium carbonate.

Snoop Dogg has a song called “Dolemite,” in which he incorporates what appear to be snippets (Rappers euphemistically refer to them as “samples!” Plaintiff’s Attorney refers to them as “evidence.”) of Moore’s standup act. (“Somebody asked me how I stand on marijuana. Very high, baby, very high! How do I stand on prostitution? I don’t stand on it, I lay on it.”) We can only assume that some of Moore’s medical bills are being paid by residuals from the sale of Snoop Dogg’s song and from the downloading of “Dolemite” ringtones. (Snoop’s gone all multiplatform and shizzle, dontcha knizzle!)

BTW: LA-based comic Darren Carter does a dead-on impression of Snoop Dogg! Check it out if/when you can. (Carter tried vainly to teach The Male Half how to do the dancing part of the impression. It was disastrous. His exact quote was, “Why doesn’t it look right when he does it?!”)