Here’s our experiences at the 2006 Festival Just For Laughs. All 7,037 words and 28 photos… in chronological order. Thanks for visiting.

MONTREAL JUST FOR LAUGHS ’06 (in chronological order)

WEDNESDAY

Yeah, it’s Thursday, but the upload is all about Wednesday.

We got in at about 4:15 or so. Not enough time to check in, hump the equipment up, obtain our press laminates and make it on over to the inaugural Just For Laughs BBQ Bash. (Where the heck is the Club Charlot, anyway? After a cursory glance at the map, we determined that it was too far away.)

In the real world it might be hump day, but Wednesday in late-July in Montreal at the Festival JFL is the day when the pace quickens and the volume of the late-night chatter in the Delta bar is boosted a notch or two. A rather large chunk of this weekend’s contingent arrives throughout Wednesday afternoon and evening.

The Delta has been refurbished somewhat. The scent of adhesive and fresh paint greets us we enter the lobby. There is new furniture in the schmooze corral that doubles as a bar. We struggle mightily to connect the facelift that the Festival HQ has undergone with the rebirth that standup comedy is undergoing. Perhaps we will just leave it at that. (We will have more to say about the rebirth of comedy in subsequent updates. Stay tuned!)

What we will say now, however, is that the WWW is a presence once more– at this Festival in particular and in the business in general. You’ll recall that we noted the preponderance of dot com entities in one of our Fest updates from six years ago to the day:

The back page of the HRSCI (Hollywood Reporter) was purchased by Laugh.com. Half of the lobby is dominated by comedyworld.com’s “cybercast” corral and banners hang overhead touting thefunniest.com and pop.com. The folks at humorvision.com (a division of fastband.com) purchased a quarter-pager and playboy.com has dispatched a representative or two. And, of course, SHECKY! (sheckymagazine.com) is present in the form of editors Brian McKim and Traci Skene. There is an explosion of dot-commers here at the festival this year. Much moreso than last year. And there are many more business cards with email addresses.

And one of the entities that is branding the festival at every turn is MySpace.com, recently purchased by Rupert Murdoch and spending cash like a drunken Australian sailor. The social networking site launched earlier this year and they’re determined to make their presence known.

The internet is good for comics. Bad for suits– TV suits, movie suits, music suits. They’re circling the new technology like a ten-year-old boy circles little Suzy– oddly fascinated, yet still convinced that Suzy is, when all is said and done, “yucky.” The trades are all atwitter over the new technology and how it’s shaping the business. Not all the talk is good.

Some contend that the internet, through its convenience, its reach and its versatility will hurt festivals. From the Hollywood Reporter:

Instead, a growing number of comics find that they can make a decent living after appearing on NBS’s Last Comic Standing and/or by promoting themselves through blogs and websites such as myspace.com and youtube.com

“Deals are being made off of youtube now,” Paramount TV Senior VP Comedy Development Brian Banks says. “These days, you can’t close off anyone simply because they don’t show up at a festival or play the Improv.”

The internet has become the ultimate launching pad for the harried agent who doesn’t even have to leave his or her seat to take in a quick routine.

Stay tuned for a parade of quotes from a gaggle of TV and other entertainment execs that completely contradicts the above statement. (How about this: “Of course, the internet is utterly bloodless and cold. There’s no connection with the performer. We need to see the act, feel the applause, appreciate connection between audience and performer,” says Harry Dumshitz Tantamount TV VP Comedy Talent Development Wetware Division.)

There was a new feature: The Comedy Showdown (“American Idol meets Last Comic Standing meets 8 Mile” reads the official description) sounds like a clusterfuck, but, from all accounts, it worked. We suspect that the competition format (“eight comics, three rounds, one chance to win”) worked mainly because they chose the judges wisely– Andy Kindler, Dom Irrera and Jimmy Carr. And the whole thing was ably hosted by Torontonian Steve Patterson. The winner? Andy Parsons.

The Homegrown Comic Competition at the Cabaret Juste Pour Rire was won by Mark Forward, who was instantly forwarded over to the Comedy Night in Canada at the Nest. So quick was the transition that Forward didn’t have a chance to savor his victory. (“They didn’t even get a chance to have a beer!” was how past HCC winner David Pryde described the rush job.) Forward beat out Todd Allen, Greg Cochrane, Steve Ditata, Steven Crowder, Andrew Iwanyk, Jeff McEnery, Rodney Ramsey and Jeffrey Yu.

Above is The Staff of SHECKYmagazine.com being interviewed by Ernie Butler. This was one of two radio interviews we did in the Delta lobby. The other was for XMRadio’s Canadian-flavored Laugh Attack (Channel 153). Quizzing us on behalf of XM was Ben Miner, Canadian comic. Miner is one of the many people clad in XMRadio gear– mikes in hand, professional recorders at the ready– who are swarming this festival and creating quite a presence for the recently-launched channel. SHECKYmagazine readers may recall that Miner was one of the many folks who appealed to the Canadian radio commission back in December of 2004 when that body was deciding just how to bring satellite radio to Canadians. We linked to a NYT piece on the hearings:

Mr. Miner is passionate enough about the technology that he appeared in November at the radio commission’s hearings, decked out in his only suit – a three-piece pinstripe – and a gold tie, gold shirt, and gold pocket square, to speak in favor of allowing satellite radio in Canada.

Miner is one of many comics in Montreal this week who are up here in a capacity other than standup. When we first came up here in 1999, it felt rather odd that, though we were standup comics, we weren’t up here to do standup comedy. We were here to report on the goings on.

Fast forward seven years later and there seems to be a lot of that happening– Comics in and around the Festival not doing standup but engaged in some other creative endeavor. In the space of just a few hours last night, we ran into Jeff Rothpan and Matt Hurwitz, who were writing skits, wraparounds and other material for the Gala shows. And Scott Faulconbridge, who is doing on-camera interviews (for one of the TV nets up here), buttonholing the performers as they exit the stage at the Gala shows. Emery Emery, up here in the capacity of videographer, working on a documentary centering on standup. Brad Reeder, up here in the capacity of a club owner (Charlie Goodnights, Raleigh).

Then there’s this from the Hollywood Reporter: “The networks and studios all are thinking outside the standup comedy box for inspiration,” Thruline Entertainment manager Willie Mercer said. “The way the whole game has changed, they have to. You’ll go to a Montreal and surf around the web, and what you’ll be looking to do is sign and build a roster of young comedic writers, actors and directors. You’re not just looking for guys who can tell a joke, but someone who might write a great film.” Hmmm…

From left to right, that’s Jeff Rothpan, Matt Hurwitz and Mike Marino (Jersey’s Bad Boy of Comedy). Marino is on the Wise Guys shows along with Mike Birbiglia, Frank Spadone, Cris Nannarone and Rocky Laporte.

It’s a photograph 19 years in the making! Patty Rosborough and Joe Starr smile for the camera. Starr has been trying to have his photo snapped with Rosborough for nineteen years– we’re unclear on the details of the story. (So what does he do? He squeezes the life out of her and turns the pic into a digital grotesquerie! Had not Ms. Rosborough (who is done for the week after having performed on the Nasty Shows and the Relationship Shows.) been leaving town this A.M., we would have taken a proper picture later on today.

We call this picture “Two Craigs.” On the left is Craig Ferguson, who hosted Wednesday night’s gala. On the right is Craig Shoemaker, who hosted the Relationship Shows. (Not sure who the bloke is in the center.)

“I think my eyes were shut,” is what David Pryde (center) said, just after the flash from the above photo died down. He was right. Very right. Pryde, who normally goes about his life as a Montreal comic with his eyes fairly wide open, is flanked by longtime SHECKYmagazine contributor Adam Gropman (left) and erstwhile (and longtime) Atlanta Punchline bartender Joe Satterfield. Gropman is in Montreal representing his short film, “Insight Into The Enemy,” which is part of this year’s Comedia Twisted Shorts program. Satterfield made the trek north to represent his recently formed entertainment management company, TSTalent.

We planted our promotional material on the Promotional Material Buffet Table in the Delta Lobby. It hasn’t gotten chaotic yet. But it will. In addition to planting our self-congratulatory postcards, we also dropped a pile of about two dozen vintage Parkhurst hockey trading cards. They were gone in minutes. (We suspect that someone, thinking that they were actually valuable, swiped them all in one shot! Too bad, sucker! They’re reproductions, people– not worth more than about 3 cents Canadian!)

We held onto Pit Martin (“The softspoken 23-year old Quebec native has a degree in French and history from Windsor College as well as a great future in goal-getting.”) Adam Gropman, who spotted the stack of cards before they were swiped, thought that they were clever faux hockey cards that depicted Canadian comics! Not a bad idea, though!

A nice touch: At the rear of the Delta, around the corner from where the press and logistics rooms are situated, the interview space in the Vivaldi Room has been renamed the Allan Johnson Press Room, in memory of the Chicago Trib writer who passed away suddenly and tragically last winter. “Johnson was a respected journalist and dear friend of Just For Laughs.”

THURSDAY

We took in Just For Pitching Thursday at noon in the Delta. A less than capacity crowd watched six sitcoms and a drama pitched. Pitching were Ronnie Khalil (The Garden), Kira Soltanovich & Rachel Reiss (The Cult), Nat Coombs (Dear Journal), Ian Harrison (Bangalore Whore), Dwight Slade (thirtynine), James Mullinger (Success) and Eddie Pence (A Comic Life). Catching were William Burdett-Coutts, Amy Hartwick, Jeremy Whitham, Brent Haynes, Anton Leo and
Ron West.

“Originally, it was scripted… but I thought you liked that improvised crap.”

The above is a quote from Eddie Pence. He said it toward the end of the grilling he endured after his A Comic Life pitch. Grilling… did we say grilling? It was more like a mushy, Orwellian, cognitive therapy session in which the patient is being cured of the notion that he or she can create a marketable sitcom (instead of being cured of anxiety or depression). And there are six therapists. All of whom are fearful of contradicting each other… but, curiously, not at all afraid of contradicting themselves… sometimes in the course of one sentence.

There were seven pitches, and, as one of our party whispered, halfway through the proceedings, “Where is this year’s Beat The Chimp?” (See last year’s wrapup of Just For Pitching– We didn’t go on about BTC in any detail, but Franz Harary’s simian-based game show idea was offbeat and his presentation was entertaining. Nobody was able to engage the audience in such a manner this year.)

The panel– British, Canadian and American TV execs– were in rare form when it came to tortuous rhetoric, but somewhat sluggish. Brent Haynes of Canada’s Comedy Network, though gloomy, still got off a zinger or two. But the panel was somewhat reserved, not very enthusiastic. Perhaps even they are fed up with their own horseshit.

We actually heard one of them describe a former TV exec as a “champion of original voices.” We’ll let that sink in.

It took them only 35 minutes for someone to use the word “interstitial.” We counted two “Zeitgeists” and a “multiplatform.” We’re refining a pitch of our own. We said in years past that Just For Pitching would, in itself, make a great show. Now, we are considering adding the element of audience interactivity by turning it into a drinking game, encouraging the viewers to take a shot of distilled spirits every time an exec uses something on the approved list of Suitspeak Terms or Phrases. (Other terms or phrases: “high-concept,” “character-driven,” “script-dependent” any adjective combined with the word “voice.” You get the idea.)

After a while, we began to feel bad for the pitchers. They were all the butt of a protracted, yearlong practical joke!

Last year, the panelists declared the sitcom to be dead, dead, dead. (“The days of taking a fat guy, giving him a hot wife and building a successful sitcom around it are gone,” said one exec in 2005. Note to exec: The fat guy with the hot wife just got an Emmy nomination!)

Last year, everything was high-concept, improvised and reality-based. (You know, like Curb or Reno or Arrested, they all said, paring down the show titles to one word.)

So… The pitchers gave them high-concept, the pitchers took great pains to emphasize that there would be “unscripted and/or improvised components” to their shows and that their would be at least “be some segments that would be reality-based.”

So… The execs batted them all down.

In case you hadn’t heard, pitch people, we execs are all on the same page now and we’re “re-inventing the sitom” and “changing the face of television comedy!” From here on out, we want characters that people care and good writing. “The sitcom built around a clever idea is a misnomer,” they said. “At the end of the day, it comes down to a script. I would have to see a script.” We want Cheers! We want Friends! Get outta here with that improvised shit.

What a burn job!

We’re considering a pitch for next year entitled What The F*** Do You Want?!

“Before we begin our presentation, we’d like to ask the panelists a question: What the F*** do you want?!? Because, oh, man, we can give it to you!”

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we gotta go sneak into The Hollywood Reporter party and bolt down some sweaty cheese and a couple free drinks before anyone realizes that it was we who called the folks at The Hollywood Reporter “dusty turds.” (See our review of Tourgasm from last month.)

More updates to come. We’re busting them up into smaller components and posting them when we can!

Thanks for reading!

THURSDAY, Part II

Left to right: Brian McKim (Old Face), Jordan Carlos (New Faces), Adam Devine (New Faces), at the Hollywood Reporter party

No dusty turds at the Hollywood Reporter party. No sweaty cheese, either. Just high heat, high humidity and lots of free booze. (And not very much of a mob to fight through to get to it!) There was a healthy crowd, smaller than in past years, but enough for a party! Usually, somebody stops this HR party in its tracks, grabs a mike and thanks the assembled for attending. No such interruption occurred this year, though. There wasn’t much of an HR presence at all. Just a lot of media types, industry people and others gearing up for the evening and gulping down a Labatts or three while deciding which show to attend.

And a handful of New Facers loosening up for the two Shaun Majumder-hosted shows at Kola Note. One of them, Omaha native Adam Devine, told SHECKYmagazine that The Female Half of the Staff and the Male Half of the Staff were the headliners on bill the very first time he mounted the stage at the ill-fated Jesters on that city’s west side. (That makes two people at this fest who have that distinction– The SHECKYmagazine staff witnessed the maiden comedy voyage of Ottawa’s Jon Dore. It makes us sooo proud! What are the odds? Hmmm… don’t answer that. Considering that we’re both members of The 50-State Club and that we’ve been professional comics for a combined 40+ years… pretty good, we guess!)

This year’s New Facers speak woefully (and hilariously) about the tuneup show they all performed on at the Comedy Nest earlier in the week– the crowd was made up largely of a group sale/charity event crowd from a Lebanese church group! But at least they’re putting up the NFers in much nicer accomodations– just across the street from the Delta, too, at a place called l’Appartement. (That’s right, we’re taking credit… In one of our 2004 updates, we whined about the youth hostel in Chinatown that JFL used for the young ‘uns that year. The one we cleverly referred to as “Gitmo du nord.” Well, whaddya know, now they’re billeted in a splendid suite just across Rue Sherbrooke!)

Two Petes (Pete Dominick and Pete Lee, New Faces and New Faces) at the Hollywood Reporter party

It’s always something with the New Faces. This year, we were told, during the tuneup show at the Nest, the New Faces comics weren’t allowed to watch the show. It is in a comic’s blood (most comics anyway) that he/she is almost always interested in seeing the room in action– especially for a high-pressure or important gig like a contest or an audition… or a festival tuneup show like this one. But such would not be allowed on this night.

Indeed, their actions were tightly controlled througout the evening. They weren’t even allowed to leave the green room. (Exceptions? If you needed to smoke. Nice.) What is it with the New Faces? We suggest that, next year, the New Facers be made to wear black hoods with the eyes cut out (like the executioner wears!) in the days leading up to their big night, and then, just as the comic is introduced– whoosh! Off comes the hood! Dramatic, no?

Left to right: Hannibal Buress (New Faces), Greg Walter (3 Arts), Steve Trevino (New Faces)

We feel a kinship with the New Facers this year. At least a half-dozen have admitted to being avid, regular readers of the magazine and some have told us that they prepped for their inaugural trip to the Festival Just For Laughs by reading (and re-reading) our archived Festival Updates from our seven previous trips to Montreal. (We extrapolated these facts to mean that we’re influencing an entire generation of new comics… oh, the comedy humanity!)

On the left, Festival Buddy Dan Rosenberg (Author, “The Book On Hosting– How Not To Suck As An Emcee”), on the right, Taylor Williamson (New Faces)

The Montreal Gazette reviewed the two New Faces shows last night (Anne Sutherland is the byline) and rated the comics on a scale of one to ten. Sutherland gave both Roy Wood, Jr. and Joe Devito a 9.5. (Only Wood, however, made it into the sub-head, “Roy Wood, Jr. gives tremendous show&quot’; Perhaps Mr. Devito should learn to be a little bit nicer to the members of the fourth estate– he spied our ancient digital camera late last night at the Delta and said, “What is that?! A Viewmaster?!” Witty. Very witty. Just kidding, Joe. Just kidding. This does afford us a deluxe opportunity to make a public appeal for a new, sleek digital camera like all the kids have today. Ours was a gift from Polaroid in late 1999– ancient history in digital tech terms– we got it in exchange for an ad on the front page of the mag and the Polaroid logo on our Montreal updates. It is rather clunky… and every once in a while it has a stroke.)

On the left, Todd Barry (Masters), on the right, Morgan Murphy (New Faces)

In the same Gazette article, Morgan Murphy is rated a 5. (“Deadpan to the point of catatonic,” was the quote.) Yet, in the July 17-23 (the one that’s heavy on the comedy), Murphy is named “One of the Ten Comics to Watch.” and described by Jimmy Kimmel as “One of the funniest and most unique comics I know.” We only point this out to illustrate how subjective this comedy beast is. (And it also nicely illustrates why SHECKYmagazine stays out of the comedy reviewing game. There’s just no point to it, really.)

Dwight Slade is on the left. Todd Allen (Homegrown Comedy Competition) is on the right.

Speaking of T-shirts– We ventured north armed with a few dozen lovingly hand screened SHECKYmagazine T’s, for the purpose of creating a T-shirt-clad army of SHECKYmagazine fanatics… a cyber-cult of Hanes-clad standup comics and industry people. We’ve been throwing them around freely, and we laid one on Jon Dore. Dore spotted us later on (after he had returned to the Delta from his Go West Show at Bourbon St., on the bill with Kyle Dunnigan, Laurie Kilmartin, Willie Barcena, Andy Parsons and Joe Starr) and he told us that, if we could spare it, he’d like another shirt. We asked him what happened to the other one and he explained thusly (and we paraphrase slightly):

I had it slung over my shoulder and I was at Bourbon Street, and I went to the bathroom, and I bent down to flush the toilet and I had forgotten that the shirt was on my shoulder and dontcha know it fell into the toilet and there a classic log in there, so there was no way I was going to fish it out of there, so there’s a shit-stained SHECKYmagazine T-shirt in the toilet in the men’s room at Bourbon St.

We howled, of course. And promptly handed over a second T. And we’re disturbed by the omission of certain details, but we’re not investigating further. (We’re still taken by the term “classic log.” Whose log? Don’t know… don’t care.)

Last night at the Delta, from left to right: Joe Devito, The Female Half Of The Staff (Traci Skene), Kathe Nelson, Talent Director, Comedy Boulevard.

The party continued at the Delta, of course. Not as insanely congested as in years past, as there may be some folks siphoned off by the “fun-filled discotheque” party space that has been created over at the JFL Museum on St. Laurent. The Female Half of the Staff decided earlier in the day that she would not, no matter what, have her first beer of the evening until 11 PM. However, she neglected to wind her watch (No modern, newfangled, electronic watches for her!) and, as such, she was 25 minutes late in discovering that her arbitrary start time had already passed! Deprived of alcohol for a precious 25 minutes! The moral of the story: If you’re drinking on a schedule, wear a backup timepiece! Redundancy is key!

We’re off to the State of the Industry Address! 2 PM Friday, at the Delta. Stay tuned!

FRIDAY

It was the eleventh State of the Industry address starring Andy Kindler. (Hard to believe we’ve only missed the first three!) It remains the “must attend” event of the festival. Maria Bamford kicked off the proceedings in front of a packed (of course!) ballroom, at twelve minutes past the hour.

“I don’t think you realize just how much has to wrong for me to be up here every year.”

Comedy classes, Red Skelton, Last Comic Standing, Bob Reade, Ross Mark, Jay Leno, Carlos Mencia, Big Brother, Dennis Miller, Aaron Spelling, Peter Bart, Peter Guber, Michael Eisner, Jill Carroll, acting workshops, Big Love, Blue Collar Comedy, improvisation, Tourgasm, Hitler, Dane Cook, Billy Bush, broadband, Deal Or No Deal, Howie Mandel, America’s Got Talent, Regis Philbin, Anthony Clark, Bravo, Kathy Griffin, OK! Magazine, Mariah Carey, Entourage, Jeremy Piven, Comedy Central, Lisa Lampinelli, Jenna Elfman, Heather Graham, MySpace.com, Jason Stuart, Shalom In The Home, David Brenner, Jamie Masada were just some of the people, shows, entities, etc. that had “gone wrong”” in the 360 or so days since Kindler’s last S.O.T.I.A.

Kindler was particularly hard on standup comics this year. And not just on his usual targets– monster comics Robin Williams, Whoopie Goldberg and the like– but Kathy Griffin (“The only comic I know who went to Iraq as a career move!”), David Brenner (“…doing material ripped from last decade’s headlines”) and Dane Cook (“He’s worse than Hitler, because at least Hitler had a point of view.”)

Kindler is wildly funny. He is at his best when he is self-deprecating (“I was in Europe for my Mixed Reaction Tour.”). But we question his decision to devote nearly 25 per cent of yesterday’s presentation to slamming Dane Cook. The impression was riotous, dead-on, devastating. But round about minute 12 or 13 of the 18-minute Cook roasting, the squirm factor kicked in. Perhaps there was a misjudgement on Kindler’s part– an overestimation of the amount of anti-Cook sentiment in the room. As far as this publication is concerned, we’re on record as admiring Cook’s generosity– as evidenced by the fact that he brought three other comics on board in his first major project for HBO. Similar in a way to Kindler’s generosity when he asks another comic to open the S.O.T.I.A. every year. The impression segment came dangerously close to crossing that microscopic line between cantankerous and bitter. We love the cranky, concise Kindler, not the broad, bitter one.

On the sad spectacle of British TV lionizing a minority woman for being in the running to win the Brit version of Big Brother:

“I believe it was Rosa Parks who was the winner of the reality show “Who Wants To Sit In The Front Of The Bus.”

On HBO’s dull trainwreck Big Love:

“Who would’ve thought that a television show where a guy gets to sleep with three woman would be so boring?”

On the laziness of TV suits and Shalom In The Home:

“Is that all we hafta do? Just come up with a title for a TV show that rhymes? How about Plumber For The Summer? I got one: Teach At The Beach! Maybe Lawyer In The Foyer!”

His bit on the Hitler’s bunker series being pitched to American movie executives was Kindler at his best, a priceless indictment of the moral relativism that permeates Hollywood.

From left: Brian McKim, Drew Carey (Photo credit: Dan Rosenberg)

Drew Carey was hanging out at the Delta with a contingent that also included his Whose Line compadre Colin Mochrie. (Note the casual way in which we truncate the name of the television show, cooking it down to the bare essentials! Suitspeak, it’s not just for TV executives any more!)

Left to right: Paul Provenza (Aristocrats) and Dean Cameron, Victor Isaac(Nigerian Spam Scam Scam)

The big buzz show last night was The Masters at Kola Note which featured Joe Starr, Greer Barnes, Nick Griffin, Todd Barry, Laurie Kilmartin, Vinnie Brand and Katt Williams. The show was hosted by Mark Curry. Folks were talking about the strong performance of all of the comics on board, but were particularly enthusiastic about the show turned in by Brand. And, oddly, there enthusiasm was tinged with… surprise. As if Brand, who is also a comedy club owner, couldn’t possibly be expert or competent at both. At least that’s our theory. We often experience a similar phenomenon– upon learning that we are both comedians and internet magazine editors/writers, folks sometimes opine that we are somehow not talented enough or fortunate enough to be able to do both with any degree of excellence. It’s a curious thing. “If you were any good as comics, you wouldn’t need a magazine,” is how it is expressed. Or, conversely, “You’re comedians– what gives you the idea that anyone would want to hear your opinion or read your prose?” It seems that, only after someone is well-known, is he/she afforded the luxury of being viewed as versatile.

Left to right: Vinnie Brand (Masters), Mark Curry (Masters, host), Marshall Chiles (Funny Farm, Atlanta)

Whilst chilling in the Delta at ground level, we saw John Cleese glide by, back from his Q & A at the Theatre Maisonneuve. He was dignified, distinguished, cool. (We do admit, however, to being mildly disappointed that he didn’t break into a Minister of Funny Walks walk midway through the lobby. We were too intimidated to talk to him, we fully admit it. If we did muster up the nerve, though, we would ask him if he ever tires of the Python fans– does he ever “go Shatner” on them, like in that classic SNL skit where “Capt. Kirk” implores the Trekkies to “get a life?”)

Left to right: Mike Birbiglia, Joe Birbiglia (brother)

There were two Galas Friday night, both hosted by Jason Alexander, that guy from that sitcom… the one set in New York… It’ll eventually come to us. Anyway, Alexander brought out Butch Bradley, Fred MacAulay, Phil Nichols, Craig Shoemaker, Maria Bamford, John Caparulo, Patrice O’Neal and Angelo Tsarouchas. In the second Gala, he introduced Pete Zedlacher, Kristeen von Hagen, Mike Britt, Willie Barcena, Laughlin Patterson, Dov Davidoff and Tim Minchin.

Speaking of Patrice O’Neal, the Female Half of the Staff spoke to the big man and jogged his memory regarding the recent O & A debacle that Skene experienced while opening for O’Neal. “Oh… right! Helium,” O’Neal said, then, in a low, sweet, concerned tone, “Are you okay?” All is well.

Left to right: Demetri Martin, Wayne Federman at the Just for Laughs Museum Burlesque At Midnight party

Burlesque at Midnight was the name of the party being held at Just For Laughs Museum on St. Laurent. Thumping music… strobing, seizure-inducing lights, tidbits impaled on fancy toothpicks squired around by solicitous servers… and plenty of free liquor. The motif of this one was somewhat amorphous– not quite sure if burlesque was the correct label, but the elevator operators on this occasion were gorgeous (says the Female Half), smokin’ hot (says the Male Half) gals in tiny dresses, with cleavage to spare. (This is a far sight better than the theme a few years back that called for hunky, shirtless, male-model types to be pushing the buttons on the lift. Rather… disconcerting, to say the least.)

Many arrived late to the party– an inevitable result of the fact that Dating It was simultaneously going on at Kola Note (with Colette Hawley, Pete Lee, Sugar Sammy, Lizzie Cooperman, Hyla Matthews, Lauglin Patterson and KT Tatara) and the Alternative Comedy Showl was also going on (in the same building, just downstairs with Andy Kindler, Stewart Lee, Howard Kremer, Nick Kroll, Reggie Watts, Maria Bamford, David O’Doherty, Matt Boylan and Morgan Murphy).

Well-attended was the party. So much so that the Delta was quiet and host to not more than about two dozen people (at least when we swung through at 3 or so). The party was the place to go. And did we mention that one of the more bizarre features of the Burlesque soiree was a woman circulating throughout the throng offering party-goers a tray of thongs. Hmmm… butlered thong panties for the taking! The Female Half declares that, as proof that she has been married for a long, long time, she initially thought that the thongs were… cloth napkins!! An elegant touch? No… underwear… for free! FOS Dan Rosenberg wore his free panties on his head— “A Thomulke” is how he described it– a tongue-twisting combo of thong and yarmulke. A visual gag not soon forgotten. We noticed that there was nothing written on them– No “Hahaha.com,” No “Just For Laughs,” not even something wacky like “Entree, sil vous plait”– which kinda makes it…sorta… creepy. Kathe Nelson of Comedy Boulevard summed it up nicely: “It’s like I’m just holding someone else’s underwear!” Indeed!

We just got an email from Vancouver journo Guy MacPherson answering our plea for I.D. in a photo we ran (see posting from yesterday):

Hey, Brian & Traci,

The gentleman to the right of Dwight Slade is Vancouver comic Todd Allen, who took part in the Homegrown Competition.

There you go.

Guy

Thanks, Guy!

Gotta hustle on over to the Industry vs. Artists Basketball game. Like Mr. Provenza, we’ll do anything for a free hat and a T-shirt… only we kinda mean it.

FINAL WRAPUP

It was an historic win! The Industry beat the Artists– the first such win by the Industry types in the history of the Artist vs. Industry basketball spectacle! (We are using exclamation points because, in the past, The Male Half of the Staff has participated in the game on the Industry side (by virtue of his media pass; even though, in his heart of hearts, he is an Artiste) for five of most recent games. Lachlan Patterson and Maronzio Vance were standouts in a losing Artists effort. (That Vance has a mini-skyhook/John Stocktonesque lane-drive thingie that is a sight to behold!)

Wayne Federman (Bar Mitzvah Show) displaying fine form at the Artist vs. Industry Basketball Smackdown

And this year saw the first Artist vs. Industry Hockey Game! (Not on ice, but in an arena, with a ball, similar to the orange, bounceless ball used in street hockey.) We encountered JFL’s Brent Schiess, post-hockey, in the Delta mezzanine, still clutching his equipment. (His hockey sticks… get your minds out of the gutter!) Schiess was mightily exercised over the Industry victory. (By the same 4-point margin!) It was The RBK Ball Hockey Cup they were fighting for. (The Female Half says that “ball hockey” sounds vaguely obscene, perhaps a Canadian euphemism for masturbation… “Slap shot… Score!”)

Suggestion to JFL brass: Capitalize on Industry hotshot Rick Messina’s healthy obsession with whiffle ball and have a JFL Artists vs. Industry Whiffle Ball Blowout. Something that even the comics without health insurance could participate in, without fear of rupturing a tendon or losing an incisor.

We were disappointed to hear that the Comedy Network wouldn’t be hosting a barbecue on the Delta’s Terasse de la Jardin, as in past years. But we were alarmed to hear that they were indeed hosting a barbecue under the pristine white tents at the Club Charlot– and we almost didn’t find out! It was a ten-minute shuttle ride from the Delta (attenuated to a 16-minute shuttle ride after a delay because of the unlikely confluence of a Parade of Twins and a protest by folks sympathetic to the Lebanese… or to Hezbollah… or both… we’re not sure which). The rain didn’t help our progress either. (Curiously, the rain didn’t dampen the spirits– or diminish the numbers– of parade goers or street fest participants… or the protestors.)

We arrived in plenty of time for free Labatts, free dogs (hot dogs, that is) and Comedy Network swag bags containing hats and psychedelic, battery-powered fans.

A thin sliver of The Male Half of the Staff, as he tries gallantly to snap a self-portrait with Festival mascot Bonhomme Verte. Our favorite part is the rain drops on B.V.’s giant eyeball!

It was a pleasant, civilized environment in which to schmooze with Industry, Artists, Media and Accompaneurs! Out of the rain, away from the Delta, inexplicably soothed by the 80s/New Wave soundtrack, we began to see the wisdom of having these get-togethers in a remote location, away from Ground Zero, behind the Theatre St. Denis. (Quite often, in the past, the mezzanine of the Delta resembled a Canadian-lager-fueled Andersonville after one or two of these swillfests– especially after the midnight parties!– dozens of the “wounded” lining the halls, evoking mild horror from the occasional church grouper or swim team member unfortunate enough to have been booked into the same hotel, at the exact same time, as the world’s largest Entertainment Comedy Industry Steam Valve! Perhaps we exaggerate… perhaps not.) The addition of a shuttle ride and a geographic impediment or two makes for a more sober, much more sedate affair. But one that is no less satisfying or collegial.

Left to right: Max Alexander (Bar Mitzvah Show), Joey Elias (Montreal Show), at the Delta. (Paired because, between them, they have lost the equivalent of an entire comic in body weight.)

Saturday brings perhaps the most intense, most show-packed program of the Fest: No real daytime programming (save for the aforementioned barbecue and hoopfest) and lots of evening shows over six or seven venues. Many artists (and fans and other observers) take a deep breath before plunging into the vast array of galas, one-man’s, best of’s and specials that are offered. Exaltation here and there over the procurement of a Bill Cosby ticket. Excitement in anticipation of the John Cleese-hosted Gala show. Fierce determination by some to engineer a complex series of shuttle rides and catch as many performances as is humanly possible.

Us? We slept.

And then, we headed on down, in a slight drizzle, to Jimbo’s Comedy Works venue to catch FOS/Festival Buddy Joe Starr as he closed out the Best Of The Fest, following Christian Finnegan, Sugar Sammy, Wayne Federman, Max Alexander and Dov Davidoff. We watched the sold-out show on the monitors downstairs, while chatting with FOS David John McCarthey.

Laurie Kilmartin (Masters), Jeff Singer (Producer, Dating It)

We’ve encountered a handful of people who are horrifed or bemused by our reluctance to attend any live performances at the world’s largest festival devoted to comedy. But we have perfectly good explanation– there’s a whole lot more to the world’s largest festival devoted to comedy than actual live performance– we think our updates bear that out.

Also, we look at the Delta as our version of the al Rashid– we hunker down, safely inside the “Green Zone,” and await the word from the returning warriors, contractors and others. We piece together the reports from the info gleaned from the various artists, fans, agents and friends. Let’s face it– “buzz” is, by its very nature, second-hand. (If it’s first-hand, it’s hype!)

Besides, we’re comics– we find it difficult to sit down, cheek-to-jowl, with other audience members, and sit through a comedy show. It goes against our nature.

Greer Barnes (Masters), Roy Wood, Jr. (New Faces), at the Delta

There was no Eve’s Tavern this year. (Or, All About Eve’s Tavern, as we were referring to it earlier in the week… “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night!”) The all-gal show was eliminated from the program. What was new? Asian Invasion, perhaps? (It happened before we even got there.) Maybe some of the slots were taken up by the Flying Solo series of shows, a bunch of shows put on by one person, a man in most cases but for Margaret Cho. Tim Minchin, Stewart Lee, Demetri Martin, Phil Nichol and Billy the Mime were the men. Patrick Combs starred in “Man 1, Bank 0” John Pinette
was a special event and Victor Isaac and Dean Cameron starred in what the organizers billed as a two-man, one-man show called “The Nigerian Spam Scam Scam.”

On the left, Christian Finnegan (Multiple shows, MySpace.com correspondent), Eddie Pence (Just For Pitching), meeting for the first time

The Best of the Uptown Comics featured Greer Barnes, Gina Yashere, Mark Curry, Patrice O’Neal, Maronzio Vance, Willie Barcena, Roz, Katt Williams and was hosted by Don DC Curry.

Left to right: Jon Reep (Gala with John Cleese!), Male Half, at the Delta

We don’t normally dish gossip, but we learned from good sources that, of the festival hosts that we heard about, Jason Alexander was “difficult,” or “exacting,” to put a good face on it, and that John Cleese was a real peach.

Left to right: Male Half of the Staff, Female Half of the Staff, at the Delta. (Photo credit: Francine Starr)

We were frequently asked the following: “What did you mean by your Tuesday, July 18, Last Comic Standing posting when you said you were ‘speechless?’ ” (So disconcerting was our silence, to our readers and to the media, the Boston Herald’s Sean L. McCarthy even saw fit to mention it in his wrapup of Episode #408 of the NBC reality show!) Well, we were speechless for many reasons, but the reason we cited most often and most diplomatically, was that the contestants seemed to exercise exceedingly poor judgement when it came to their choice of material. When one considers that they had not really had to burn through much material up to that point, their choice of such scatological material was… curious. Their showcase sets, on primetime network television, in front of millions of viewers, more resembled a set that might have been more appropriate for a second show Friday or a Tuesday night bar gig. To see people waste this golden opportunity left us unable to comment. If you don’t have the material, buy the material.

Left to right: Rocky Laporte (Wise Guys), Maronzio Vance (New Faces), on the steps at the Delta

The difference between the 2006 JFL and the 1999 JFL (our first Fest) is that, back then, the conventional wisdom was that a comic couldn’t make money merely by being a comic. “There’s no money in live performance,&quot was the pessimistic mantra.

Then followed a year or two or three of hand-wringing due to the displacement of the sitcom by reality programming– a time when agents and managers seemed at a loss as to how to efficiently use the power and talent of their standup clients. Now, we are seemingly at a point where standup comics can make a living– a good living– doing what they do best, what they seem built for, destined for– live standup comedy.

Wille Mercer (now of Thruline Entertainment), quoted in the Hollywood Reporter:

More comedians than ever before are making a great living performing in theaters and arenas, so whereas that was once solely a means to an end, it’s an end in itself now… You might find a guy doing a sitcom to help his notoriety on the live circuit.

Left to right: The Male Half, JFL Mascot Bonhomme Verte and FOS Jenny McKenna, at the Theatre St. Denis (Photo credit: Boris, The Incredible)