Count Clark did a stilted, disjointed set punctuated by obvious punchlines and slathered with average setups. (At least we finally got to see the sparkling set that so many folks were telling us was coming!)

“Last Comic Downloading” is what they are calling the contrived, pathetic contest that NBC’s producers have frumped up to goose the next-to-last episode of LCS. (Actually, Clark called it alternately “Last Comic Downloaded” and “Last Comic Downloading.” We’re confused.)

Good idea: The next-to-last episode of a crumby competition sullied further by a pair of comics chosen via the internet, battling it out in some sort of hollow, labored circus. And, as a bonus, this cyber-competition, by virtue of its time slot, affords nearly equal status to its comics as to those who have been on the show since day one.

(Particularly splendid was the bit where the first comic’s toddler son comes into the marriage bed and touches his anus– okay, he said, “ass,&quot but we all know what went on. Top drawer! Make this man the last comic downloaded! He had three minutes on national, network, primetime television and this is the creepy, base material he chooses. Nice! Theo Von’s set was a quarter-tick above open mike. It’s bad enough that these comics were ramrodded into this whole affair– it would’ve been nice had they both been super comics with smart, clever material that we could honestly believe raised them above their competition.)

Paul Rodriguez, looking slim and trim, came out and did a fairly strong set… and got a standing ovation! (We wonder: Was Chris Porter aware of this?!? Oops… Everyone got a standing ovation tonight… we wonder… was Chris Porter aware of this?)

Chris Porter gone!

It’s like watching ball after ball going through the legs of infielder after infielder. And not just Bill Buckner-like boots. It’s just one squib after another getting bobbled here or there– one pop-up after another falling to the turf. A non-comedy of errors, on primetime TV, making comics look inept and unfunny.

Can we at least ask the comics to stop saying “shit?” Why can’t these guys knock that out of their sets? Does this make them some sort of primetime outlaw because they go on and refuse to knock out s-h-i-t? Or does it make them some sort of inept goof because they can’t edit? It’s only one complaint among many.

Tune in tomorrow at 8 PM EDT– a new time! It’ll be a 90-minute show, so they’ll crown the new winner 9:25 or so.

It will have all the drama of the picking of a PowerBall number. Only, in the case of the PowerBall, there will be a winner.

We’ve always done all we can to avoid trashing other comedians. We are, after all, “dedicated to the glorification of standup comedy”– (and have been since April 1, 1999– you can look it up!) But we’re disheartened when we see comics take a prime opportunity like this one and bobble it in such a highly-visible and inglorious way. Such potential to advance the craft, yet such missed opportunity.

Here’s a weird, random thought: The two-headed talent bookers for this show, Reade/Mark, also book the talent for The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno, yet we’d bet money that none of the sets we saw tonight (with the exception of Rodriguez’ set) would be allowed on that show. Oh, the irony! The criteria for that show’s sets are much stricter… and it’s on after 11:30 PM! What gives?