Once again, our spies were correct.

Matt Kirshen did indeed beat Debra Di Giovanni in the head-to-head competition.

First, the recap of last week’s show.

Even though the contestants get to watch the head-to-head competition on a large-screen TV backstage, the feed is cut when the winner is announced. The Reality TV reasoning behind this maneuver it to show the surprise, or, in some cases shock, when the victor eventually pokes through the curtain. Of course, comics aren’t as emotional as car-winning Oprah audience members so the moment was– and always will be– anti-climatic.

(Such was the case when, in the recap, Ralph Harris appeared after his victory, Harris was thrilled… in a comic kind of way. He gave the greatest insight into the mind of a comedian when he said, “Let’s eat.” If the producers really want to make the comics happy, a buffet would be set up backstage. Or at least the winner would get a $1,000 Capital One No Hassle Card and a ready-to-eat smoked turkey.)

Now, this week’s competition.

The Last Jester Standing… where do we begin? Dress up like a court jester and do 90 seconds of medieval jokes while performing in the round. Isn’t this the stuff of a recurring nightmare? Two comics battle it out in the dirt arena; the crowd displays their favorite using colored flags; the loser is led off by Death. The winners compete in yet another medieval round. Eventually the winner gets immunity. Jon Reep was the immune one. And do it all with material written with Medieval-type material. By round two, the comics were merely substituting “thee” for “you” and merely re-writing tested material to barely suit the ground rules!

Not that we doubted our sources for a nanosecond, but we did almost shit our silky Jester pants when Deb beat Matt by three flags earlier in the show. (Yes, we watched the show wearing matching Renaissance garb. Didn’t everybody?)

According to Bellamy Bill, the 55 to 45 per cent audience vote for Kirshen was the “closest in Last Comic Standing history.” Apparently, flags don’t count.

Deb cried. Matt smiled. Matt but might have also been crying– it’s hard to tell since he’s always smiling.

Benson said it best, “Out of nowwhere, somebody could say, ‘Put on a dumb costume and look like an idiot.” And yes, Doug, you did look like a Court Jester Tranny.

We want to adopt Doug Benson. (Only because we can’t think of another way of having him around our house all the time without it looking weird.)

Harris did poorly. He goofed up during his set and lost his place. Gerry Dee, however, did so badly, he got booed by all 1,100 in attendance! Dee must have been surprised that he went up on front of a medieval dinner theater and got scorched like he was at an Opie & Anthony show! He should have gone “Bill Burr” on their medieval asses! The subsequent pirated YouTube vid would be up to 70,000 hits by now.

Prior to the challenge, the lucky LCS’ers were treated to a bountiful Medieval Feast– oversized bread, turkey legs the size of Barry Bond’s post-steroid arms, grapes the size of Barry Bond’s post steroid testicles– and since it was all Medieval and stuff, the food was consumed without the aid of modern day utensils.

Comics stay at comedy condos. We’re accustomed to eating food without the aid of modern day utensils. Hell, we could have cooked that entire meal with just a broken spatula and a melted spoon.

The challenge portion saw two comics– Reep and Kirshen– saying they were funnier than DiGiovanni. Since Reep had the immunity, the evening’s match was set. BTW: The voting portion of the challenge portion was staged in the Torture Museum of the Medieval Times Dinner Theatre. As if the preceding competition wasn’t tortuous enough. Benson’s drollery was once again a highlight of the show– “This costume was the worst thing that ever happened to me… and I sat through the movie, ‘Wild Hogs’!” and, on the subject of the prospect of being tapped for the challenge, “I won’t mind, because I can do my act in normal clothes!”

Pet Peeve: Bellamy Bill flunks Emcee 101– When DiGiovanni came out onstage in the challenge portion, Bellamy handed her the mike, instead of replacing it in the mike stand!

Why was there no teaser for next week’s episode? The show ended, then went straight into Dateline NBC, with the guy who lures hapless pedophiles into on-camera stings! Perhaps next episode’s challenge is to write five minutes of material designed to lure a 14-girl into a bus stop in Burbank. The winner will gain a no-hassle pass in the next round! Talk about a test of a comic’s writing skills!