What could he be thinking?

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on October 10th, 2007

Of course, we make a mistake in assuming that any thinking was going on!

Patton Oswalt, in a recent appearance in Portland, did perhaps one of the dumbest things we’ve heard of in a long time. From the Oregonian review:

Although that interaction finally went a bit too far. Oswalt was sipping a fine single-malt scotch as he talked to some high school kids in the front row, in the all-ages seating area. Things were going so well, he started offering the young dudes sips of his scotch, eventually bringing the bottle onstage. Before long, a Roseland employee scurried out to put the kibosh on it, no doubt worried about what the Oregon Liquor Control Commission would think of it all.

“Don’t boo the owner,” Oswalt told the audience. “He could’ve come up here and Tasered me.”

Indeed! Tasering would have been letting him off easy! We suspect that Oswalt got a stern talking-to from the Roseland owner. One should regard the Liquor Control Commission with the same mixture of respect and fear that one might regard the Mob. And if the “high school kids” had wrapped daddy’s Explorer ’round a pole on the way home (with Oswalt’s fine single-malt scotch mentioned prominently in the coroner’s toxicology report), Oswalt’s life as he knows it would have ended. And, as any attorney will tell you, the amount of alcohol would be inconsequential.

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