One thing about shooting fish in a barrel– sure, it’s easy, but it’s exceedingly boring to watch.

How many times have we opened Facebook to be treated to the spectacle of our standup colleagues posting one lame joke after another about the latest news item that supposedly represents “a comic’s wet dream?”

What exactly is a comic’s wet dream? We like to think that it’s an item in the news or an incident in a comic’s life that affords that comic an opportunity to write a clever, interesting and original (perhaps even inciteful) joke or series of jokes.

However, a comic’s wet dream has evolved, it seems, into something entirely different. Effectively, it now means an incident or news item that doesn’t present a challenge but is instead something that “writes itself.” It’s not an opportunity for greatness, but an opportunity for mediocrity. It’s something that no one should be excited about. Why all the nocturnal emission about something that should elicit yawns? The “wet dream” metaphor has been perverted. When did we all become so excited about something that is easy, boring and pedestrian?

Instead of posting (like two dozen of your FB pals) the first five or so Weiner jokes that instantly spring to mind, why not pause, take a deep breath, think about baseball for a minute or two and then seek to write that joke that no one else has come up with?

These incidents aren’t so much a wet dream as much as they’re premature comedy ejaculation.

There is something… deadening… about these barrages of limp punchlines that clog Facebook shortly after (perhaps too shortly after) Drudge posts the link to the hot comedy wet dream topic of that morning. Shouldn’t comics exercise some restraint? Shouldn’t we, as professionals, wait until all the amateurs have come up with the obvious crap before we weigh in with the gold? And if you’re saving all the good stuff for stage (as we often do), please do us all a favor and spare us the daily topical humor garbage dump. We’d actually rather see an Instagram of what you had for lunch that day. Even a picture of what you had for lunch after you’ve eaten it would be far less nauseating than some of the mind-numbing gags we’re subject to.

Worse yet is the wildly indignant jokesmith who, at about the six-hour mark, accuses another comic of stealing his rather obvious “gem.” “Hey, dude: I posted that four hours ago.” Really? You posted that four hours ago? Really? Our cat coughed that up at 6 AM. And we don’t even own a cat.

Perhaps worst of all is the supreme mirthmaker who posts that “(Fill in latest comedy punching bag here) is a comic’s wet dream!” And he lets it hang there… with no followup joke… nothing… just a giant hole… that he fills with his beaming, totally unjustified pride in his non-accomplishment. Apparently, it is enough merely to be able to spot the eye-popping opportunity! Such a sharp eye is worthy of a PhD in standup! We can only pray that perhaps we’re missing something… maybe it’s an ironic statement and we’re not picking up on it.

At first, it might be a little inspiring or uplifting when we’re presented with evidence that we’re perhaps far better writers than the vast sea of folks out there. That great, churning horde of standup comics who we thought were nipping at our heels, ready to blow us off the stage at our next appearance at Uncle Fucker’s Chuckle Hut* is, it turns out, wholly incapable of penning a sharp (or, at least surprising) joke about even the most obvious target. But then… after a while… it’s depressing.

Conversely, it’s gratifying to see someone spin out that one, great joke that makes you say, “Damn!” Or just one that merely hits the bullseye in a satisfying and unexpected way. (Contrary to popular belief, the majority of comics love being topped. However, it is most embarrassing to be “bottomed” so frequently.)

The occasional transgression is understandable and acceptable. We’ll forgive those. (God help us, we may have even been guilty in the past!) But it seems to be an epidemic!

If you’re trying to show off, step up your game. If you’ve lowered your standards so much that you figure that “It’s only Facebook, it doesn’t matter,” then try to keep in mind that you are a professional comedy writer. Your noodling is being read by comedy fans and by your colleagues. Use a bit of discretion and we’ll all be better off. Have mercy on us all!

* Credit: Dana Gould