Open letter to Britney Spears

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on February 21st, 2007

Dear Britney:

So sorry to hear that you’re in rehab. (Actually, we’re not surprised… but we’re still somewhat sorry.)

Since we know you’re an avid reader of SHECKYmagazine.com, we figured this would be the best way to contact you.

We have an offer: We’d be happy to take your children and look after them.

Before you say no, consider this: The Female Half of the Staff bears a striking resemblance to you (or, at least she did… 20 years ago… And, the more you let yourself go, the more the two of you resemble each other yet again), so, when the tots look up, they’ll see a face that is startlingly similar to their momma’s. Also consider that, since we’re in the business of show, we regularly work in a lot of locations where you have a home/residence– remember when we narrowly missed bumping into you on the beach in Destin a coupla years back?– (so, you’ll be able to visit the little ones… or at least spy on us from afar). And, we’re married– and we intend to stay married– so the kids will have a two-parent home. And we both wear underewear when in public! And both the Female and Male Halves can say “Hi, y’all!” while affecting a convincing southern Louisiana twang, so the Spears-lets will be comforted by the sound of their ancestral home.

All we require is $20,000 per month ($10,000 per young’un/month… a bargain!), to be re-negotiated when they reach school age. (It’s private schools or nothing for these two… we insist!)

You can contact us through the mag.

Thanks, and we hope to hear from you!

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