(Before you read this, take a moment to read our interview with Richard Lewis from our October of 1999 issue.)

That’s the title of a bulletin making the rounds on MySpace. It is being sent out by Nick Thune. (We reproduce it here, complete with the faux-E. E. Cummings punctuation.)

i am working the west palm beach improv with richard lewis for the weekend.

there is an opener, a guy that does 10 minutes.

then there is me, a guy who does 25 minutes.

then there is richard lewis, the guy everyone came to see, a guy who does 45 minutes.

when i have performed for 20 minutes, the manager is supposed to light me from the back. using a lit up cell phone or a flash light. a signal to let me know there are 5 minutes left.

on thursday night, my first of seven shows for the weekend with richard lewis, they did not give me a light. i ended up doing 40 minutes.

richard lewis, does not like to hang out at the club. he has the manager pick him up at his hotel 5 minutes before he goes on stage. the manager drives him to the club. calls someone inside the club to light me, then walks richard lewis in right when im getting off.

since they didnt light me, richard lewis was standing in the kitchen getting furious.

a couple of the waiters told me what he said, while standing in the kitchen: “Get that F*CKING GIGOLO OFF THE STAGE!” when i was finished, i introduced him, he didnt want the opener to come back up and do it… he wanted me to do it. i waited for him to come up on stage, so i could shake his hand (usually what happens). when he came on stage, he wouldn’t even look at me, let alone shake my hand. so after 6-7 seconds of awkwardly standing there, i walked off.

needless to say, he isnt crazy about me.

he eventally said he was sorry. and told me he liked my jokes. that was nice, cause his fans don’t seem to be crazy about the jokes. they may or may not be handing out a senior citizens discount for these shows.

We’re unclear as to the purpose of the bulletin. Was it to confess to bad behavior and seek some sort of forgiveness? There doesn’t seem to be any contrition. Or is it merely to slam Richard Lewis? (There seems to be mild contempt for Lewis and his fans.)

We’re puzzled as to why Thune would admit to being so irresponsible. (Not wearing a watch, not getting off on time, etc.) And it’s doubly puzzling that the management of the club disrespected Lewis in this manner– After the fuming in the kitchen, why wasn’t Thune lighted? Repeatedly? The failure to physically drag the feature off the stage after the 30-minute mark indicates either that Thune is fudging the truth or the management of the club was delighting in making Lewis fume.

The Male Half had the pleasure of opening for Richard Lewis and can attest to Lewis’ precise demands. They’re well-known throughout the business– He spends as little time in the club as possible, he limos up, shoot in one door, does his thing, then shoots out another door. After 35 years in the business, he’s entitled to have such relatively mild requirements met. And the club certainly knew what Lewis would demand when they agreed to hire him. So how did this happen?

And another mystery: Since Thune admits that Lewis’ fans “don’t seem to be crazy about (his) jokes,” how did Thune go 15 minutes over his time while not exactly killing? As any comic will tell you, the perception of time is that it sloooows down when the hilarity level is low. This whole episode sounds rather odd. Thune is fortunate that the title of his bulletin wasn’t “Richard Lewis demand that I be sent home.”

To which Mr. Thune replies:

i like richard lewis. and so do his crowds. in my bulletin, i was referencing the crowds not being crazy about ME (to be more clear). i did decent at most shows and really well in one. other than that, i found it hard to connect with the older crowd richard lewis draws.

something i thought was clear in my bulletin:

i did not run a light. i was never lit. to my knowlege. one waiter says he held up a candle in the back of the room at one point (manager was out with richard, he called the waitor on his cell phone. could have been the waitors first time lighting someone. he didnt wait for my response). i did not see the candle among all the other candles. usually they use a cell phone or a flash light.

richard lewis was mad that i was going over. he thought i was intentionally running the light. but he is also a sane-human-being who isnt going to have me dragged off stage. when i finally did see the light, i wrapped up in less than 1 minute.

you asked why i didn’t get off stage if i knew i was over my time?

one reason. i wasnt fully sure. i mostly rely on the club to let me know that. i have never worn a watch.

main reason. my job is to stay on stage until they light me. if i haven’t been lit, and im going way over my time. in my mind, something has gone wrong. was there a mix up picking up richard? is he not feeling well and wants me to do more time? these are common things that happen. i thought this was one of those situations.

in the end, i wanted to shake richards hand. he wasnt happy. he ignored me on stage and i walked off. the waiter told me about him yelling, “get that F**KING GIGOLO off stage.” and i laughed. i laughed becuase it was hilarious. his use of that word. it was funny. i could picture him saying it in on ‘curb’. i can picture him yelling it in a kitchen… the wait staff and the bus boys… the cooks. they must have been dying. but they had to hold it together… thats funny.

i felt everyone else would picture him saying it, and think it was funny too. i should read my bulletins better before posting.

keep up the good work,
nick thune

ps. tonight was the last show. richard rushed on stage. quicker than the other nights. and shook my hand. he told me some nice things, and as i was walking off he had the crowd clap for me again and said he loved working with me.

pps. the purpose of the bulletin? (you asked for that.) i’m alone in a city, something odd happned between me and someone famous, i wanted to share the story with anyone who reads my bulletins or blogs or whatever i type.

Happy to set the record straight.