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Screech not being Screech
The Daily Orange, the student newspaper of Syracuse University, ran a post-mortem on an appearance by Dustin Diamond, familiar to college-aged Americans as Schreech from the syndicated series Saved by the Bell (and its later incarnations, one of which even made it to a network).
“I thought it was OK,” said Arielle Smith, a junior fashion design major. “I wasn’t really sure what to expect. He kind of talked a lot about himself, but not in a good way. It was awkward to see Screech not be Screech.”
Awkward, indeed. We take a dim view of celebrities hitting the comedy circuit. While the celebrity does bring new people into comedy clubs, they should at least be good at this thing called standup. (There was a story a few years back that Diamond, compensated handsomely for a headlining gig at a Midwest comedy club, dropped down to emcee and let another comic on the bill close the show. Apparently he realized his limitations. This gig isn’t a comedy club, though, so it seems that someone– his new management, perhaps?– has gone the college campus/lecture followed by Q & A route. This is a much more sensible strategy, but it still leads to some cognitive dissonance:
Following Diamond’s act, many students left the auditorium wondering what exactly they had just experienced.
“I didn’t see a point to his speech,” said Marc Serber, a sophomore in The College of Arts and Sciences. “I didn’t find a message.
Someone tell us why Mr. Diamond can’t take some of that college gig money and buy some material?!? Read the rest here.
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Reply to: Screech not being Screech
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Why can’t he just buy material? That wouldn’t make him a comedian. I’m sure you know that being a comedian is more than reciting jokes on stage.
He could buy jokes. Then he’d have to practice, practice, practice, before it would be right for him to take people’s money and claim to be a stand-up comedian.
Do you really think that even a Z list celebrity (and I have no idea where he stands in the pecking order) is going to go to several hundred open-mikes to work on his material? (keeping in mind that if he plans to perform for a half-hour, a 5-7 minute open-mike set won’t cover even a quarter of his stuff)
I didn’t want to sign up for blogger, but I am not going to post anonymously. I can be reached at nickmortensen@hotmail.com if needed. My name is Nick Mortensen and I live in Green Bay, WI.
Sadly Screech does buy his material. Last year, in my 3rd month of standup I played ahead of him and was shocked at his awfulness (The tapes I have of myself allow me to be shocked by my own awfulness as well). His material could have been so much better and I mentioned to him a few of the angles I would have taken if I were him -since I watched a ton of Saved By the Bell growing up. He told me to write it up and send it to him and if he used it I would be compensated. I never did get around to doing it, but he made it sort of clear that he had writers.
So there, he has writers– just not particularly talented ones. Dead rookie that I was, I wouldn’t spend any time writing for him. Not just because of the shady arrangement he was suggesting either.
Side note: He was sort of a jerk during the post show hangaround and tried getting in my girlfriends’ little sister’s pants– he had no shot.
On a positive note- he did some really good act outs, you could tell he was something of an actor and a reasonably talented one at that.
You can’t expect a guy that has been living in a hall of mirrors since he was 11 to have any perspective on the outside world, certainly not the kind that would be required to really excel at the standup game. The whole run he is on is a cash grab and I would be totally surprised to see that he had ever been booked at the same venue a second time.
That’s sad.
Eventually I suppose the word gets out (such as if people do an Internet search and find this site) and he won’t continue to get bookings. And that means he’s sabotaging his career– even if he gets really good, people will find out how bad he used to be and choose not to hire him.
But I don’t think it’s unusual for a comedian to tell a prospective writer to send jokes on spec and agree to pay for what he opts to use.
Shecky experts, is this the case?
Anonymous posted: Eventually I suppose the word gets out (such as if people do an Internet search and find this site) and he won’t continue to get bookings. And that means he’s sabotaging his career– even if he gets really good, people will find out how bad he used to be and choose not to hire him.
But I don’t think it’s unusual for a comedian to tell a prospective writer to send jokes on spec and agree to pay for what he opts to use.
Shecky experts, is this the case?
We reply: As for the comedian asking a comedian to write jokes on spec, this is common. Hardly anyone stiffs anyone. Anyone who stiffs anyone would quickly get a reputation, which would spread rapidly. And the price is fairly standard.
As for Diamond “sabotaging his career,” we can’t see that happening. Bookers, owners, promoters will never be able to resist booking even the weakest acts, if they believe that there’s some sort of residual interest in them. An act would have to flame in a pretty spectacular (and public) manner to really stop the phone from ringing. We’ve heard the most horrific stories about acts who behaved in the most egregious manner only to hear the story-teller cap off the entire tale by saying, “Yeah…we’re having him back here for Valentine’s Day!” Go figure.
To reply to an earlier post:
We didn’t say anywhere that purchasing material would make him a comedian. It would make him funny (or it would create the illusion of being funny). And it would make his presentation more enjoyable. When folks go to see someone standing on a stage talking for an hour or so, they expect it to be entertaining (and often, they expect it to be funny). We would even suggest that book authors (if they aren’t naturally funny) purchase material to make their Barnes & Noble stops more entertaining. Being funny also has the added benefit of making the presenter seem more human.
In the case of Dustin Diamond, he is, after all, a comedic actor. While this doesn’t make him a standup comic, he does have some feel for timing and what makes a joke funny. With very little coaching, he could probably take material tailored to his character and his public perception and give the folks a much more entertaining performance.
Rare is the public speaking book that doesn’t suggest “working some humor” into the presentation. It is done for several reasons. It’s sound advice.
>>>>
I’m sure you know that being a comedian is more than reciting jokes on stage. He could buy jokes. Then he’d have to practice, practice, practice, before it would be right for him to take people’s money and claim to be a stand-up comedian.
>>>>
Now you’ve got it. You’re coming along quite well. (Actually, he wouldn’t/couldn’t actually claim to be a standup comedian. But he’s taking people’s money because he’s “Screech.” If he were to get some solid laughs, it would icing on the cake. The fact that his venue of choice is no longer comedy clubs eliminates any confusion as to whether he’s selling himself as a comedian. And the anecdote that we cited indicates to us that even Mr. Diamond himself knows that he is a celebrity and not a comedian.)
>>>>
Do you really think that even a Z list celebrity (and I have no idea where he stands in the pecking order) is going to go to several hundred open-mikes to work on his material? (keeping in mind that if he plans to perform for a half-hour, a 5-7 minute open-mike set won’t cover even a quarter of his stuff)
>>>>
Um…No, we don’t. Which is why we advised him TO BUY MATERIAL! Do we even figure in this dialogue, or are you merely arguing with yourself?
Celebrities will always go on stage at comedy clubs. (Jake LaMotta did it, just to cite one example. It was so long ago, that we’re not quite sure if LaMotta actually fancied himself a comedian or if his manager or agent wrote the press releases that way. The point is that the comedy club or nightclub venue is often strangely suited for this kind of curiosity). People with no discernible talent (or a talent that isn’t necessarily suited for the live stage) have traditionally sought out small, intimate nightclubs to make personal appearances. They show no signs of stopping. And why should they, as long as crowds continue to come see them? The fact they now use comedy clubs for these shows is less because they fancy themselves comedians and probably more due to the fact that the intimate, 300- to 600-seat nightclub is a thing of the past. Comedy clubs are plentiful, there’s one in nearly ever large- and medium-sized market, and the infrastructure is ideally suited for promoting such appearances– or “stunt booking”– with little or no adaptation. The club owners are more than happy to do it because the press can’t resist such bookings. Sadly, it’s easier to get press by bringing in Walt Willy than it is by bringing in a solid standup comic. It does afford the venue the opportunity to promote upcoming standup acts to a public that might otherwise not be aware of them, so there are advantages.
(I meant going to open-mikes to practice telling jokes, not to develop the material, but I argue with myself all the time, just not on your site)
What does writing jokes “on spec” mean? Thanks
“Spec” is short for “speculation.” Which is to say that you write the jokes, submit them and, if the client wishes to use them, he will pay you the agreed upon price. (In other words, the jokes are written with no prior agreement to purchase.) Much like a “spec” script. Nearly everyone in Hollywood or NY (or in the entertainment business) has a spec script (or two, or three or four) at the ready at any time. It is for the purpose of demonstrating one’s ability to write a television script. In the 90s, many people cranked out a spec Seinfeld script. Although none of these folks had any agreement from the producers of Seinfeld, cranking out a spec Seinfeld was a good way to demonstrate that you were familiar with, and could conform to, the conventions of writing for a popular sitcom.