It was like a strike-shortened baseball season. Sure, they determine a winner at the end of it all, but there’ll always be an asterisk. Just what would the asterisk indicate in the LCS record books?

Well, for one, it would note that the contestants (Cast members? Participants? What does one call them?) hardly got a chance to show their stuff. Between goofy competitions (Immunity challenges, in the by now tired lingo of the reality TV genre) and eye-glazing footage of “life inside the house,” there was a bit of actual standup wedged in there. But it was all too brief and it was on that surreal, expansive stage at the Paris in Vegas.

Also, the early stages, where the producers emphasized nutiness rather than standup ability, left a bitter taste which really didn’t go away the entire run of the show, at least not as far as we’re concerned.

And lastly, we had the infamous “pink underwear” factor.

Joel McHale, though he seriously butchered one of his opening gags (about Tavaré being the second-creepiest guy on LCS), was sharp as always– thanks, no doubt, to his writing team. (The contrast between his team and that of LCS’s writers was sharp when McHale threw it back to Bellamy and Cotton– it was like letting the air out of a giant comedy balloon.) McHale should have been hosting– the show would have benefited from a bit of snark. The only bright spots in the entire 90 minutes were, in order: McHale, Triumph (savaging the comics to their faces!) and Jon Reep, who demonstrated that he’s been working like a dog for the past 10-1/2 months.

But getting back to McHale’s Standup Soup presentation– he quite vividly demonstrated the show’s inexplicable lack of a sense of humor. And when he showed the montage of Shlesinger clad variously in her underwear and a bikini, he threw another shovel of dirt on the show’s credibility.

Indeed, after seeing that montage, Shlesinger herself should be embarassed. Regardless of whether or not she won, she will, for the foreseeable future, mount the stage with the knowledge that a significant number of her votes were motivated not by a genuine fondness for her humor but by a momentary and primal lust for her body parts.

You do what you gotta to win. But, for those folks who are prone to extrapolate and try to determine the larger socio-cultural implications of Shlesinger’s victory (Bellamy himself was quick to bellow about her being the show’s first female winner), it’s a sorry moment.

Sure, she showed a certain minimal level of “toughness” in fending off the challenges (if you want to call it that), but we will always wonder (as will the general public) what the outcome would have been had she not colluded with the show’s producers to engineer the cheesecake clips in the house segment of the show.

It was obvious, from the very beginning, that this show was “cast” to appeal to a very narrow (read: young) demographic. But, judging from the anemic numbers the show garnered, it didn’t work. Or, it worked, but too well– it may have gotten the youths, but it got few others.

On Saturday, May 31, we posted the following about an interview that LCS exec producer David Friedman did with RealityTVWorld.com’s Christopher Rocchio:

Were Friedman’s words twisted by Rocchio, or do we have genuine controversy going on here:

Friedman said the talent on the show this year shouldn’t disappoint and hinted that the sixth season might produce Last Comic Standing’s first-ever female winner.

“I think this year we did see a lot of strong women,” he said. “I mean, we really did and I think that’s a great sign for everyone in the comedy business because it has been a difficult sort of thing for women to break through. But I think this year we have a great talent pool.”

We don’t see anything in Friedman’s quote to indicate that this season might produce a female winner. And, since (so far as we know) there are only two females among the top twelve finalists, Friedman’s statement (and Rocchio’s conclusion) makes little sense.

Apparently, Rocchio saw it coming. We were skeptical.

We must admire Jon Lovitz for giving standup a try this late in his career. But that set clearly demonstrated just how far he has to go in becoming a comedian. And it was lengthy! Should not that time have been used to give a minute or two to the comedian who won “Last Comic Driving?” (Can it be called “product placement” when the perfomers actually perform inside the product?) Might they have thrown Whitney Cummings a bone and let her stretch her legs, get out of the cramped car and actually do a standup set standing up? Hell, they even let Theo Von and Josh Wolf do sets when LCS dallied with an interactive, online component a season or two ago.

Do we have to point out that both the Last Comic Standing and Last Comic Driving winners were… female?

And what the hell happened to the footage from the Secret Auditions?!? We knew they were keeping them a secret, but we didn’t think they would burn the tapes and disavow any knowledge of the entire venture! Those people who participated (The Male Half included) and those who were advanced to the larger auditions in other cities were screwed from the start. There probably was never any intention to use anything from the various auditions– and their faces never made it on but for a few fleeting glimpses here and there. A colossal waste of time for all involved. (And a colossal waste of money and good will for the show, since all involved were sworn to secrecy. So, not even the host clubs were able to make P.R. hay. Of course, the crowds who were present at the time got to see the TV star and got the tingle from participating in a network competition, but that’s not all that much bang for the buck when you crunch the numbers.

Perhaps it was our frame of mind in the early weeks of the show’s run. Perhaps it was the show itself, or a combination of all the factors, but we just aren’t that worked up about LCS and we aren’t too enthusiastic about this season’s impact– one way or the other– on live standup in the near term or the mid-term.

We’re inserting space, so you don’t see it right away… to avoid spoiling it for you. It’s 5:36 PM EDT, and the show doesn’t air on this coast for another 2-1/2 hours.

Iliza Shlesinger

First voted off of tonight’s show: Louis Ramey

Second one voted off: Jeff Dye

Third: Jim Tavaré

Fourth: Marcus

We’ll still blog tonight, but we thought you might like to know.

Things have gotten out of hand.

According to a Canadian news website, Artie Lange is in rehab.

Those who listen to the Howard Stern Show on Sirius will know that his co-workers have been pushing him to go into rehab for quite some time.

He’s also cancelling a bunch of upcoming gigs, including the Bob Saget roast to be aired on Comedy Central.

Tonight at 8PM EDT is the season finale of Last Comic Standing. Last week’s numbers (as reported by Hollywood Reporter) were up over the week prior, but nothing to shout about.

The rising tide seemed to lift “Last Comic Standing” (5 million, 1.9/6), up 12 per cent for the week.

As for NBC’s freshman reality series “The Baby Borrowers” (5.4 million, 2.1/6), the show that launched with bang concluded with a relative whimper, matching its season low.

Could this be the series finale as well?

We predicted early in the season that the winner would get “Bodden-ed”– his/her victory wouldn’t make it to air. That won’t happen this season. However, this season does seem rather… truncated. It is odd that tonight’s episode is heralded as the finale when there are still five finalists left. Last year’s contest ran a lot longer– we posted that Jon Reep was the winner on September 19!

It’s butting up against the Olympics, obviously. They forked over $900 million for the right to broadcast the games and they’re going to spend $100 million more to bring the games into our living rooms and onto our computer screens.

They’re giving the “wrap it up” sign to the comedians.

Will it be back next year? And at its previous length? (We can’t imagine that NBCUni is saying, “Give us that 1.9 rating and 6 share in ’09! And give it to us for seven more weeks!” But it’s an entirely new TV landscape out there now.)

We’re not making any predictions here. Feel free to put yours in the comments. Who will be this season’s LAST… COMIC… STAAAAANNNNDDING?

Appalachian Trail, that is.

Last summer, Brian Malis set out from Georgia and, by summer’s end (or fall’s beginning!), he had conquered the famed trail. Now another comic, with his wife, has headed north out of the Peach State to through-hike to Maine.

The caption under their “trailer” reads thusly:”Johnny Millwater and his wife Debbie are currently hiking the 2,175 mile Appalachian trail. It probably looks a little like this!”

The Millwaters are, as far as we know, still at it. The most recent blog entry (on Johnny Millwater’s MySpace) contains the following, under the heading “500 Miles Down”:

There is very, very little internet time available on the AT; so little, in fact, that I haven’t been able to blog or even update my pictures on photobucket. Due to technical difficulties, I have 4 GB of video and photos I can’t even access, yet alone post. Thanks for caring! I hope all is well, and I’ll update when I can.

That was dated May 25.

Readers may recall that on February 20, we posted about FOS Max Alexander and his quest to find someone to donate a kidney.

In an article in the Riverdale (NY) Press last month, we learn that Max finally did get a kidney– from his brother, Rabbi Moish Drelich.

He had been on the list for a new kidney since the previous July, and 10 other friends– plus two strangers– had already volunteered their organs. His brother wasn’t a perfect match, but he was the best one.

Rabbi Drelich said the decision to donate wasn’t hard once his wife, Debbie, was on board. Having gone through with it, he said, he’d encourage others to consider becoming donors.

Both patients are doing fine and are about three weeks away from resuming their lives. Alexander will need to take serious medication two times a day for the rest of his life and avoid crowds– tricky for a comedian– but, the article says, “the worst seems to be over.”

From Moviehole comes this quote from Judd Apatow on his upcoming movie about standup comics:

It’s about comedians and funny people and it’s about how one comedian has a near-death experience and how he reacts to it. There’s some standup performance. Yeah, it’s based a little bit on [my experience doing stand-up]. That’s what I’m going to direct. I’m writing and directing Funny People and that starts end of September. I’m very excited. Janusz Kaminski is shooting it, which is very– very- It’ll be the Schindler’s List of stand-up comedy movies.

(Kaminski has been director of photography on many fine films, “Schindler’s List” among them.)

Perhaps we’ll finally be able to put the memory of “Punchline” to rest once and for all.

Folks in Zanesville, OH, are all atwitter because Robin Williams is coming to Ohio twice during his 20-city tour. The Times Recorder ran a short piece from the Cincinnati Enquirer announcing the veteran comic’s road trip.

I’ll talk about everything that’s going on. The election. The choices. What are we going to do?

And he’ll find a way to say that Obama’s pants are so tight he can tell what religion he is.

And, according to the Live Nation site, the pair will kick off the tour in Philly (at, we assume, The Tower, since the article lists “Upper Darby” as the location of the venue).

Don’t you know we’ll be gigging that night? Damn! It’s history!

And it might be a good idea to see them early in the tour… things sound a bit volatile:

Marin told the Associated Press that the pair has tried to reunite in the past, but always ended up fighting too much with each other.

“It takes about 3 minutes for that to happen. There’s this veiled hatred,” he said. “We’ve kind of resolved that.”

Kind of? The folks insuring this venture can’t be too happy with that quote! Get a front row seat– it’s kinda hard to discern veiled hatred from the back row! (Hell, there might even be a mid-set walk-off halfway through the tour!)

Marin adds: “We’ve gotten to the age where we don’t feel like fighting anymore because the end is a lot closer than the beginning.” We’re betting that not even the prospect of their impending demise can enable the pair to overlook their “veiled hatred.” Get to the show early and don’t even leave to use the bathroom.

It was a short item in Thursday’s South Bend Tribune:

MISHAWAKA — A local comedy club that’s been open for about 15 years has closed its doors.

The manager of the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Mishawaka told WSBT News a dispute over money led to the closing. She said the owners of the nationally based comedy club chain couldn’t come to an agreement with the building’s landlord in Mishawaka.

It’s still possible the club could reopen in the future under a different name. In the meantime, 28 people are now without jobs.

The Funny Bone opened in 1993 on the south side of South Bend at the old Scottsdale Mall. It moved to the 100 Center in Mishawaka in 2004.

We have no idea what “a dispute over money” means. Some folks have taken the closing of this club, after a decade and a half of operation, and news of the closure of other clubs here and there (in Rochester and Buffalo, for instance) to be signs of the apocalypse. We’re not so sure.

In the case of the two upstate New York venues (and in the case of the recent closure of the Bone in Boise, ID), they closed not because folks weren’t coming through the doors. They closed for reasons unrelated to the relative health of the economy or the comedy business in particular. (The economy is far stronger than the media would have you believe– not only are we not in a recession, but we are experiencing growth. Modest growth, but growth nonetheless.)

And, along with the news of comedy clubs closing is news of comedy clubs opening. We’ve reported on them here in this publication over the past few years.

Having lived through the comedy boom of the 1980’s– and the subsequent bust of the early- to mid-90’s– we are understandably cautious when making predictions. But having paid close attention to the business since at least 1999, we are convinced that the business is the healthiest it’s been in some time.

Dave Schwensen’s “What’s So Funny” interviews comedians and intersperses the conversation with audio clips of the comedian’s favorite comics. The Male Half and The Female Half submitted to the interrogation when they were in CLE, headlining at the Cleveland Improv last month.

The episode featuring The Male Half will air on WELW 1330 AM at 4 pm & 11 PM EDT today, and then again on Sunday, August 3 at 8 PM. If you can’t be around a radio (a radio in Cleveland) at that time, you can catch it online at WELW.com.

We had loads of fun taping the shows. The Male Half requested clips from Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright and Jackie Vernon.

Watch this space for word on the dates of the airing of The Female Half’s interview.

We’re coming up on the end. (But, we’re in Hawaii… Both Halves… A third of the way around the globe…) So, we implored our most distinguished columnist Dan French to lend his considerable analytical skills to this Last Comic Standing affair and blog in our stead.

Dan, for those of you who don’t know, is a comedian and writer who now is devoting most of his precious time to IWorkWithStandups.com, a comedy writing and consulting business. When you are done mulling over his dissection of the search for America’s funniest comedian, hop onto his website, will you?

Now, on with Dan’s analysis:

Are you ready, America? Are you? Are you super-excited for this blog? Is this the best blog in America?! Then let me hear it! Yes!

Sorry, I just thought maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be done.

Here, on the Last… Blogger… Typing!

To tell you the truth, I’m a little lost at this point in Last Comic Standing. They’ve done everything this season except have the contestants come out in Olympic leotards. Wait a minute, is that why they got rid of Sean Cullen? To save us that middle-aged muffin man mind-branding? Next week Jeff Dye and Eliza Shlesinger in rhythmic gymnastic pairs? Jim Tavare and Marcus, synchronized swimming, full thong. Louis Ramey, wrestler’s tights, snatch and jerk?

Maybe so, America. Maybe so.

Anyway, next week is apparently the finals, which means this week was the final performance, which means next week the performances won’t mean anything, which means it’s over, but it ain’t over until it’s over, and that’s just the beginning. It’s just the beginning because all the winners are now signed to touring contracts by NBC, so, less cash bonanza, until your fame fades, then okay, go forth.

Damn, sorry, I should get to the analysis, but they’ve got me in the filler mode.

Okay. Here we go.

First, whoever had Danfinity open the show with a song and dance number needs to be shot in their sleep. The idea of singing a Last Comic Standing original song, and then having the comics deliver an awkward one-liner bragging about their comic prowess while the music continues? Seriously. Let’s all go find an effective weapon, tape flashlights to our heads, and track these people down.

Until that happens, here we go with … the Last… Analysis… Analyzing!

First up, we got to see Marcus do his thing, which I’m not really sure what his thing is, but he sang some impressions (Eddie Vedder is hard to understand? at least I think that’s what he said), and he kept getting cheers for great songs that I don’t think he wrote (did he? Marcus is kind of a black guy name, maybe Marcus wrote for Motown?). He also threw out a lot of gang signs, or maybe they’re heavy metal signs (how is heavy metal not a gang, I’d love to see a hair band rise to power and retake the streets of LA).

Marcus? Gosh, I don’t know. Is it necessary to mix that much cheerleading/grandstanding into standup? We shall see, because he’s on to the finals!

Oh, poor Jim Tavare. The man obviously has a brain under that “should have been a supporting character in Cuckoo’s Nest” head of his, and he looks to be in such pain whenever he’s around the hamming it upness of this show. He had a solid set of very throwback standup, joke, joke, joke, a touch of music, and he ended with a prop. He went on to the finals. I don’t think he wins this thing, but, as they say across the pond, he acquitted himself nicely enough. And by pond I’m talking the pond where my English teacher drowned himself back in good old Kentucky (sorry, that’s a little dark, wouldn’t have played well on LCS, are you listening, Adam Hunter?)

The first elimination? Ron G. And his endless cavalcade of characters who all sound strangely exactly alike — male, female, Southern, Californian, all blend into “stare at the camera and over-energize”! Apparently not enough there, America ditched him. And his self-created entourage. At least now he’ll have time to go in search of a couple of jokes to pad his show.

Next up, and on to the finals, Louis Ramey. Which I still don’t quite get. Sure, he’s a pretty innocuous guy, nobody getting hurt here, but it’s just so 80’s club comedy. Stand in one place, look right, look left, linger on the punch, get your breath, here comes another. It’s almost nostalgic. And the jokes are so familiar – Amish gangs, rednecks are good with guns. I can’t see him winning, but I have to say, he did on that stage what I’m sure he’s done on a thousand stages before, and that has to stand for something. Somewhere. For someone.

Adam Hunter came to the end of the line, and I’m not just talking cocaine, although I could, because that’s about all he does talk about. Well, drugs, rappers, strip clubs, sex – all the greatest hits of what doesn’t really function that well on prime-time network TV comedy. Not that you can’t get those jokes on the air, but he just came across as a little too dysfunctional. And his outtake interview – “Any night I tell jokes I never go to bed unhappy.” I thought this guy was a comic. How does a comic not go to bed unhappy? Every night.

Next, Jeff Dye. Wow, there is so little in this set, it’s like watching a teen girl’s boyfriend do a set for her friends at a sleepover. If he played the cute card any harder he would have to legally be considered a cast member of High School Musical. It’s kind of gaggy to watch, and he did racist-lite jokes, but he’s in the finals, and man, maybe it’s all teen girls voting out there? Their fingers are small enough to text really fast, so watch out, this could be the biggest upset since Dat Phan.

Okay, I’m almost done, as was Sean Cullen, who I guess ran out of songs and this week had to switch to Sean Connery impressions? Not nearly as much fun to watch, but he’s gotten some exposure here, and hopefully it helps, he seems like a decent guy, and I have a feeling is far funnier in club sets than in this venue. We sing to thee, oh Great Musical Mugger. You’ve mugged well. Go now, ask for $300 more per week, we hope you get it.

Finally, it was Eliza’s turn to bounce onto stage, and if teen boys are voting, her shirt wins it all. I know I keep harping on her boobing it up, but good lord, for once let me listen to the jokes without feeling like I’m also being smothered. I don’t know that it makes or breaks her, but this was by far her weakest set, lots of what seemed like older jokes, and she took shots at women bosses, which, eh, you’re safer going after the gender opposite of yours if you’re gathering votes. But… she’s earned the win, and you can tell she believes this, too. And she’s gotten the most exposure, don’t know if that hurts or buoys, but by now you know what’s she’s bringing to the yard, my friends.

So, the final five: Dye, Ramey, Shlesinger, Tavare, Marcus (is that his last name, too? Marcus Marcus?).

Who wins?

Tune in next week, and find out, by reading the Best… SheckyMagazine … on the Internet!

We’ll be back in New Jersey next week. We’ll be commenting on the finale and on the implications it may/may not have on the business of standup! Aloha!

From a bulletin from comedian RC Smith, scheduled to be the opening headliner at the new National Lampoon Comedy House at Dave & Buster’s on the Philadelphia waterfront:

I was booked last night in Philly at the new National Lampoon Comedy House. The gig never happened. They pulled the plug less than 24 hours before the show. I guess that”s what happens when you book a gig at a Dave & Busters. If you have dates with them you might want to find something else. However, I would like to say that it’s not Jason’s fault. It’s the amateur booker and club manager he tried to help.

Pulled the plug!? We’re not sure what went down, but we’ll put out a few calls. Odd that an operation that bears the National Lampoon name would screw up so badly.

The Female Half of the Staff is blogging from the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Both Halves of the Staff are in Hawaii. Check out her Road Atlas Shrugged blog here!

While at the Hawaii State Farm Fair this morning, we visited the animals at the 4-H pavilion (Does 4-H stand for “Hippity-Hoppity-Hippity-Hoppity” or “Hardee Har Har Har?”) and I watched in horror as my friend’s four-year-old daughter pet a pig’s ass. And by ass I don’t mean the cute, fleshy rump part that tastes so good at Easter dinner, I mean The pig’s anus! She was petting the pig’s anus!

Minutes later she innocently asked me why I wouldn’t hold her hand. I said to her, “It’s because your hands are dirty” when I really wanted to say, “It’s because you petted a pig’s ass!”

We got it from two different sources, so it might very well be true.

Jim Tavaré
Marcus
Iliza Shlesinger
Louis Ramey
Jeff Dye

We are soooo dedicated. We’re in paradise. Hawaii, to be exact. Waikiki, to be exacter. And, even though we’re burned on the outside by the sun from hiking up to Makapu’u Lighthouse (the HARD way, no the easy way!), and we’re burned on the inside (exhausted from yesterday’s 14-hour travel day), we’ve managed to provide you with analysis of Last Comic Standing.

Oh, sure, we asked Dan French to do it for us, but French is one of our all-time most popular columnist and the man behind IWorkWithStandups.com, a wicked good, new comedy writing and consulting business.

On with the analysis:

Last Comic Standing, Episode 9– go!

Wait, stop! Did they actually show Eliza Shlesinger in her pink underwear in the first 30 seconds? And Jeff Dyle shirtless? And then Eliza in her pink underwear again? Finally, after all these years, the twin worlds of stripping and standup, fully together again after the great schism caused by the birth of comedy clubs. I love a good reunion show.

The first hour and a half of LCS? Much like watching my neighbors grilling food in their backyard. I keep waiting for something, anything, to happen, but it’s just all smoke and hamburger. With the neighbors constantly turning to a camera, “This is the most important hot dog of my life!” “Will Sara eat the beans first, or the cole slaw! I can’t stand it!” “Jim, cook? Please. Bill across the street grills breakfast cereal, Jim is going down!’

Sorry. It’s just so stretchy. But it did allow me to wonder why Jim Tavare, bald, a bit scary. Louis Ramey, bald, quite cuddly.

In an attempt to jam something watchable into the first ninety minutes, we saw– and I quote– midgets, female body builders, models, hate-worthy frat boys, and a nest of Playboy bunnies. If only there had been a murder to solve. Oh, wait, there was one– the dignity of standup!

Bang, boom!

Eh, anyway…

On to the competition!

Immunity– and an automatic spot in the Final Five — was somehow grabbed by Marcus, the guy who does an impression of an impressionist. Yes? I’m right on that one, aren’t I? There are those impressionists out there who just do the down the middle of the plate people, and only do them about as well as the annoying kid in high school. Marcus? Let’s just say that to his credit, he’s no Rich Little. (Does anyone do an impression of Rich Little? The layers of it all…)

So Marcus, in the finals. Yay. (That’s my impression of a depressed cheerleader)

But now, the twist! And the twist is? Apparently ratings aren’t good enough, this show is being shortened… now!

They’re jumping right to the finals, and all seven remaining comics had to perform instead of just the normal three. You know what that means: Jeff Dye and Ron G are going to have to burn their good three. I predict both will go on based on the fact that even open mikers stumble onto enough palatable jokes to fill in a three minute set, and they both have that youth energy that looks good on TV.

But I’m ahead of myself. Real quick, my run down of each comic’s throw-down.

Adam Hunter. Living proof of how rap structures will eventually absorb all performance, Adam moves around like Eminem, and if only he were that funny. It’s just all so pat, so easy, so pandering. Bush is dumb. Lesbians are hot. I stopped doing drugs, but here are some drug jokes. He’s so perfectly, pristinely LA soulless comedy, he performs like a souped up Mustang GT, but the tires are flat and the car is going in circles. But, LA God love him, he’s not far from what a lot of young America likes, so watch out.

Eliza Shlesinger was next, and who knows what color underwear she was wearing (for some reason they didn’t show that during her set), but well, for E, it was “Groundhog Day,” more of the same. She has established her voice, and every bit she does stays exactly within that voice. She throws out some semi-wry observation, pads it with a few mid-crafted lines, and then act out, act out, act out. She’s rapid fire, and she even does big goofy physical. It’s wearing a little thin for me seeing her three weeks in a row, which could work against her in “the big vote,” but, again, a competent set of nobody-important-gets-dinged comedy. She moving on.

Sean Cullen. Sean, Sean Cullen. It’s not standup. It’s musical theater. Right down the middle of the pike. There must be thousands of guys with decent voices across the country sitting at local rehearsals saying, “Hey, we do that, too!” But he’s likable, is at least breezy absurd, and when he’s going all-power Super Mug he’s kind of fun to watch. I’m not sure the Farmer Song he sang had enough punch in it (he was mugging at full power to get his laughs), but it’s possible. Although I’m guessing he’s out.

Next was Jim Tavare. I think Jim had a hard set. He had a couple of mis-speaks (which are death to script-centric comics), and his timing, while always slow, was uneven, he never got into that one-liner patter rhythm that makes guys like him work. I’m also guessing JT is on his way out the in door.

Jeff Dye. Jeff reminds me of Gary Gulman without all the annoying humor to get in the way. He’s tall and fresh-faced, animated, and wears day-glo. But it’s pretty much Britney Spears bubble-gum comedy. He did two extended jokes, one about “The Sound of Music” (really? he’s half as old as that movie), and then something oddly mean-spirited about the homeless. But, clearly on to the finals. Clearly. It’s the kind of vote that drives “real comics” crazy– What? That guy? This is insane!– but he’s doing what the genre of TV wants from him, and I see him surfing on down the pipe, not a ripple in sight.

Number six was Ron G. I have to admit, I expected awful things here. He’s so bad on his feet in the challenges, or in any interview. But, again, the Law of the Open Miker prevails, he nailed his two extended bits. People are lonely in LA (full of good techie references about missed calls and MySpace), and the same joke over and over and over at full power for two minutes, his impression of a woman taking shots at a man. His set was probably the most joke-filled, most high energy, and most acted of them all, all which says he’s moving through. Razzle dazzle ‘em.

And the came Louis Ramey. For all the railing and ranting that hardcore comics do about LCS, how it doesn’t use the best club comics, etc., I think Louis kind of showed that club comedy isn’t always the best choice for TV comedy. First off, his fashion choice was not TV sharp. His jacket didn’t fit, he didn’t look good. He actually held onto the mike stand, a classic club move, but made him look distracted and not locked into the audience. His delivery was so polished it had lost the pop you saw from all the young comics. For a long-time road dog to do well in this kind of venue he has to take it up a notch visually and performatively, get out of his comfort zone and bring something real and crackly into the moment, and I don’t think Louis did. Plus, well, he pulled out a fart joke. I don’t see him in the final 5.

Those I do? Ron G, Jeff Dye, Eliza, and Adam Hunter. Which makes four. Damn. Er, um. They bring back Esther Ku? Ant is given another shot?

Oh, wait, Marcus will be there, so Dave Attell will be there. Or whoever it is he’s kind of doing an impression of when he’s doing an impression of himself not doing an impression.

So, that’s my take, but as we all know, it’s probably just smoke and hamburger, too. When it comes to predicting the unpredictable nature of contest choices, like everyone else, I don’t really know Jack, or squat, or whatever other odd noun you want to put in that phrase.

But one thing I do know? Shecky will be there. Even though they aren’t here right now. I am. Or at least I was.

Attention comedy experts: You might have thought you’d read every book on comedy that there is to be read. Think again.

In the UK Guardian, William Cook presents his list of the top 10 books about comedy. Cook is a Guardian columnist (who writes about comedy!) who also has written several books about comedy.

We’ve only heard of one of these books! (The Female Half read John Lahr’s bio of Dame Edna Everage.)

Among the books listed are histories of British television comedy and bios devoted to Morecambe and Wise, Frankie Howerd and Spike Milligan.

So says the Associated Press. And the following Monday will be the first day for Conana O’Brien in Leno’s old spot.

In a USA Today article, Leno says:

“I am definitely done next year– with NBC,” he says, sitting in a huge recliner in his poster-strewn shop office. Would he go to another network? Leno just smiles. “I’m not a beach guy, and the last time I was in my pool was to fix a light. Don’t worry, I’ll find a job somewhere.”

The piece goes on to demonstrate just how serious Leno is about automobiles. Serious enough, Leno and author Marco R. della Cava would have us believe, that he could carve out a decent career just being a standup comic by night (doing personal appearances) and a “car guy” by day.

Of course, if he signs with ABC (or Fox or with a network created just for Leno himself!), he would have that much more money to purchase cars with.

Or maybe he’ll go to the internet and create a show just for web surfers. Yeah, right.

On the Huffington Post, is this bit of nonsense from NY-based media blogger Rachel Sklar:

This is so smart: Jimmy Fallon will test out material for his impending NBC late-night show online, getting a jump on audience building, branding, and working out the kinks months before his planned launch in 2009, when he takes over from Conan O’Brien, who will be taking over from Jay Leno.

Sklar then indulges in further cheerleading for producer Lorne Michaels and his plan to introduce Fallon to late night televison. Sounds like Michaels and NBC still don’t know what to do with the internet, despite Sklar’s lavish praise.

We’re wondering why Michaels is being so tentative. When they launched O’Brien– and he was subsequently savaged by critics– NBC expressed their faith in him and, for what ever reason, said that they were committed and that was that. He grew on the public. The public gave him a chance… maybe because they witnessed NBC’s loyalty and confidence.

Meanwhile, Tom Green is doing his show on the internet only and has been for several months. Now that‘s smart. Perhaps Michaels got the idea from the zany Canadian and isn’t so wildly “smart” after all.

WLS radio host Jerry Agar has an interesting feature every Monday morning from 10:30 to 11 CT– It’s called “Jerry’s Kidders” and it features three Chicago comics doing a humorous wrapup of the week’s events. Tim Slagle, Dobie Maxwell and Ken Sevara are the Kidders.

Tomorrow’s show, according to Maxwell, will have be different from those that preceded it. From Maxwell’s bulletin:

We’ll be on for a full hour from 10 to 11 and we’ll be doing ONLY jokes about Barack Obama. The segment will be called ‘Barack No Phobia– No Kidding Aside’. I think the title alone makes it worth a listen and I hope you can join us.

There will be a chance for you to add a joke to the mix as well if you have one. Jerry will be taking emails and calls, too, so start thinking of one. It will be fun.

No doubt folks who live in Obama’s adopted hometown will be more amenable to making and listening to gags about their Senator and former member of the Illinois State Senate (representing the 13th District on Chicago’s south side).

Currently residing in Toronto, Canadian comic Pete Zedlacher just returned from a visit to Afghanistan and the Gulf for his fourth and fifth Canadian Forces Show Tours. From his blog entry on his MySpace blog:

When I got home from Afghanistan I realized all my clothes were salt stained. It’s so hot there, your body just continuously sweats to cool you down and the salt collects in your clothes. I found it unbearable, I can’t imagine what the soldiers experience in the same temperatures carrying 70 pounds of gear.[…]

Like I said, this was my second trip to Afghanistan, the first was in ’02, when there was a couple thousand troops there. Today, I’m not allowed to say how many exactly, but it’s a LOT more. And it’s changed a lot too. There’s now a Tim Horton’s there. Kandahar Afghanistan got a Tim Horton’s before my hometown of Wawa did. They even had the Roll-Up-The-Rim contest in the spring. I joked to the soldiers, “What were the prizes? Body armour?”

From the desert halfway around the world, Zedlacher is now at the Festival in Montreal.

They made the comics wash cars. That’s right. And it wasn’t long before it degenerated into a water fight. No comics were spared. All were soaking wet. We suspect that the producers did the car wash sequence just so they could show (and, of course, watch) Iliza Shlesinger cavort in a wet t-shirt. Of course, Sean Cullen has bigger jugs than Shlesinger does. The producers were kicking themselves that Esther Ku didn’t hang on for another week. (Of course, that assumes that the producers took greater delight in watching a wet Shlesinger than a wet Cullen.) Perhaps they really wanted to see a wet Dye. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Bizarre quote of the evening, Sean Cullen: “It reminds me of the days when comics would have to clean things before they went onstage.” Okay… Just what era is he referring to here? The Mesozoic, perhaps?

They then made all the comics participate in the challenge: Prop comedy. They hauled them to the local Bed, Bath & Beyond and treated them to a perfunctory demonstration set from the master of props himself, Carrot Top. The Top then shifted into “judge” capacity while the contestants gamely attempted to entertain a small crowd of models right there on a small stage in the BB&Y, using props they had speed-shopped for and hastily fashioned into prop comedy gold. Judge Top took notes.

We actually liked the challenge. For many reasons. First off, it was actually comedy they were forced to do. So refreshing. Secondly, it was interesting to see the looks on their faces as they realized (in some case too late) that prop comedy is actually difficult to do and that perhaps this orange-haired fellow is somewhat deserving of our respect. (Of course, we’ve respected the Carotene God for some time now– his performance on last year’s LCS was superb.)

Jeff Dye was blessed as the winner by C.T., thereby gaining immunity.

Did they really put Esther Ku’s name on a tombstone?! Yes, they did!

The gathering in the cemetery, complete with Bellamy in a 19th century undertaker’s get-up, was aesthetically superior to the 50-yard-line gathering of a previous season. But our enthusiasm waned as each comic made the six-mile trek to the mausoleum in the next area code to state who they were funnier than.

When the dust settled, it was Eliza Shlesinger once again who would have to defend her honor. This time against Papa CJ and Paul Foot.

Paul Foot melted down, pretty much. It was “look away” bad. We knew– and he knew– he was gone. (He looked rather like Rod Stewart in his Faces days.) It takes him forever to get to the punchline. Normally, perhaps, not a problem, but when one takes a loooong time to get to the punchline, one must instill confidence that the lengthy ride will be worth it. Mr. Foot did nothing of the kind. (At one point, perhaps taking his cues from the audience members, he snuck a look at his watch. A glance at the watch in a four-minute set is never a good sign.)

How condescending could Papa CJ be? We thought he was kidding when, in the begginning of the show, he said, “Welcome to the big leagues, Sweetheart!” We thought maybe he was employing irony… it was quite apparent in his followup statements that he was not. Papa CJ, perhaps the weakest comedian ever to make it into the finals of this sorry show, just might be the most arrogant. The more he spoke about his chances (and the more he spoke about what he perceived to be the bleak chances of Eliza Shlesinger), the more it became apparent that he’s trapped in a mysterious isolation bubble– he wouldn’t know reality if it came up and licked his face and kicked him in the balls. His set did well, but it was somewhat forced– we could hear the typewrite clacking away– and typewriters haven’t been used to write standup in quite some time now! He delivers his jokes in much the same way as a magician– with a rather unnatural flourish calculated to elicit a response. At one point though, the magic abandoned him. He hit a dead spot. There was a rather uncomfortable 10 seconds or so where a bit died a horrible death (and the reaction was not in keeping with his smiling, upbeat stage persona). Ten seconds is a looooong time in the course of a four-minute set. It did him in.

Shlesinger’s set went well. She’s wildly confident and she knows how to hit a punchline. We missed last week’s set by her. But she’s got that flailing left arm thing going. Fine when Dane Cook does it, but when Shlesinger does it, we gotta figure she’s compensating for something. Exactly what, we’re not sure.

That Oregon Trail bit was confusing for that portion of the population who had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. The audience seemed to dig it, but that could have been editing magic. She would be advised to provide a line or two of explanation.

What was that mike technique all about? She cupped the microphone and, at times, she sounded like she was barking through a megaphone.

The reaction in the greenroom was quite humorous– Gawlllleey! The pretty lady done it again! (Followed by hasty re-assessment of strategies. We could see the wheels spinning!) Perhaps a reassessment is not in order. When we consider that Shlesinger resorted to “fuck” and a couple other bleepable words in just her second four-minute set, she could just be very vulnerable.

And, as readers of this publication know, the outcome was: Shlesinger wins, Foot and CJ go home.

Next week’s comedy challenge just might be sad and poignant– the show travels to the Playboy mansion where, it appears from the tease, the comics will be asked to entertain what may be three of the dumbest and most humorless people on the planet– Hef’s girlfriends. Anyone who has ever seen The Girls Next Door will sympathize. The worst part? You don’t want to make Kendra laugh. That laugh just goes right through you. It’s like a rusty chef’s knife going right through your solar plexus.

Tom Clark was tonight’s Last Comic Driving. Who is that woman– the one who sits in the center of the back seat, week after week? Is she being held hostage? Is she really enjoying herself? If you’re reading this honey, and you’re a hostage, blink twice during the next Last Comic Driving segment and we’ll send a rescue unit!

One more thing: Of course, we already knew the outcome of tonight’s episode. We’ve known for weeks that Papa CJ and Paul Foot were gone. But we’ll be damned if we know what’s happened since– our sources have dried up! What gives? Where’s all the special ops people out there? Where’s the resourceful soul who created a fake myspace a couple seasons back for the express purpose of sending us illicit information on the LCS outcome? Where?!

We alternate between being stunned and being disappointed. Then we shrug and realize that some folks just can’t give up old habits. There’s a short piece on Philadelphia Magazine’s website, in a blog called “Impresario,” which is edited by Victor Fiorillo. The title?

Philly Getting New Comedy Club… Does Anybody Care?

It’s a heads up on the opening of the National Lampoon Comedy House on July 25. It gets better:

…in Philadelphia proper, going out to see stand-up just isn’t something that ranks too high on most of our lists.

It’s getting almost humorous now. We envision hacks from all over the country (working at thick, slick, formerly ad-choked city mags) passing around the same tired clichéd paragraphs and phrases that denigrate what has become one of the more popular entertainment choices in the past 30 years.

Dig out that dreary takedown of a standup comedy club from 1992, insert the name of the new comedy club and change the name of the city and you’ve written yourself a snarky three-paragraph story in a record three minutes!

Hasn’t this guy heard? Standup comedy is more popular now than it has ever been. And it has multi-generational appeal– even the old people and their parents (Philly Mag’s prime demo?) regularly enjoy standup. Performers like Chappelle and Lewis Black and Jim Gaffigan sell out theaters large and small in towns large and small. (Check out our posting from Vegas last week if you need proof that standup excites people and easily separates them from their entertainment dollar.)

Fiorillo does his readers, his employers and standup comedy a disservice. His attitude is square and dated.

On a brighter note, the January 25th soft opening for the National Lampoon Comedy House in Philly was supposed to be a fundraiser to cover the cost of local comedian Jeff Pirrami‘s recent heart surgery. Pirrami however, has graciously opted to make it a show that benefits the family of recently departed comedian Mike Sullivan Irwin. Such selflessness is inspiring.

P.S.: Here’s a sampling of references to standup in Fiorillo’s postings in just the last 75 days

Haven’t we had enough of Chris Rock yet?

If I were ruler of the world, impressionists would be banned. BANNED, I tell you. But I am not. So you are still free to enjoy the supposed funniness of Frank Caliendo…

I have to be honest with you. I actually thought that Bob Newhart was dead. Not in the way that you might say that you thought Samantha Fox or Kato Kaelin was dead. Like, actually dead. Well, either I am wrong or they’re practicing some kind of voodoo out in Hershey, where Newhart or perhaps the Ghost of Newhart will do whatever it is that he or it does these days…

Sophisticated he is not. Andrew Dice Clay– in what should be called The Back From The Fucking Dead Tour…

Also at the Borgata, youve got that annoying redhead Kathy Griffin…

Does this loser do good things for the credibility of Philadelphia Magazine? Is it really in their best interests to have someone like this commenting on standup? Don’t mention standup around Grandpa Fiorillo! HE GOES APESHIT!

Andy Dick was arrested in California for pulling down the top of a 17-year-old girl and possession of marijuana.

Dick has a reputation for crude behavior. He has been reported to have exposed himself to audiences at least twice. He was forcibly removed from the set of the show “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last year after he repeatedly touched guest Ivanka Trump without her permission.

Also last year, Dick was cited in Columbus, Ohio, for urinating on the sidewalk. A comedy club owner in the city said the actor also made inappropriate comments while onstage, groped patrons, took women into the men’s room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

“And we’ve booked him for Valentine’s Day!” (Hypothetical quote from excited comedy club owner.)

Too much personal tragedy in the past three months and too much travel and gigging in the past two weeks adds up to near-debilitating exhaustion and an intense desire to coop out here at SHECKYmagazine HQ rather than make the hump eight hours north to Montreal for this year’s Festival Just For Laughs. The thought of taking off within the next twelve hours to commence with 96 hours of fest coverage is enough to make us weep.

We did it for nine straight years. We are taking a much-deserved break in 2008. Will we return next year? We seem to have misplaced our crystal ball.

On top of all that, we’ve been monitoring the JFL site and we’ve been reading some of the press releases and, perhaps it’s our keen powers of observation or perhaps it’s a perception tinted by mild depression, but we’re sensing that there’s a sameness, a lack of surprises and a certain regimentation in this year’s lineup. Perhaps all the past nine years are blending together, but we sense that the same comedians are returning year after year, with little that’s fresh to attract us northward.

Of course, we’ve always had a blast because we didn’t so much pay exclusive attention to the shows and the talent as much as we paid attention to the other people– the accompaneurs, the agents, the suits, the managers, the other media folks– all of whom contributed to the general circus that was the world’s largest festival devoted to comedy.

And we don’t particularly like the new hotel! (Our first eight fests were spent in the Delta. The Hyatt Regency is no Delta.) And the US dollar isn’t particularly strong right now, so the $1,000 dollars we would spend on our annual trek north would actually be… a thousand dollars!

If it sounds like we’re talking ourselves into staying home, you may be partially right. To an extent, we are already regretting our decision. But we’re going to give it a rest for a year.

We know that many of our readers will be sorely disappointed. Many is the time that we’ve been told that our coverage was eagerly anticipated and that reading our dispatches was “just like being at the fest.” (Indeed, some of the comedians who have appeared at JFL over the years told us that they went into the archives and read every year of our prior coverage to fully prepare themselves for the pressure cooker that is Just For Laughs.) So, we feel bad about letting our readers down. Covering the fest in Montreal has been a big part of what made us SHECKYmagazine. Our coverage was one of the elements that “put us on the map,” early in the magazine’s history (along with interviews with Shelley Berman, Mitch Hedberg, Triumph and Dick Cavett).

When we applied for our first credentials, we had maybe two monthly issues (back when we published monthly!) up on the WWW and not much in the way of a track record. We hit Montreal in 1999 with a scanner, an instant Polaroid camera and absolutely no idea what we would do when we got there. (Check out the result here, complete with typos and hinky layout!) Since then, we acquired a digital camera or two, burned through two or three laptops, switched from dialup to hi-speed, made quite a few friends and made a handful of enemies.

We hope everyone has a good time in Montreal in 2008. And, just as we always have at the end of each year’s fest coverage, we thank the folks at JFL who saw fit to grant us access to their annual celebration of standup comedy. Maybe we’ll see all of you next year.

Ricky Gervais, from an interview in the Vancouver Sun:

Standup comedy is more of a process of evolution. The audience chooses the best bits for you. It’s a process of natural selection. So over a hundred comedy dates, they’ve chosen your best hour. You thought it up and you said it, but they’ve done the difficult part for you. It’s cheating, in a way.

I was always in awe of the good standup comedians. I’m proud of The Office and Extras, because I think it’s harder to do a narrative piece of comedy that’s hopefully not just funny but also has a point to it. But I’m in awe of anyone who can do a good, solid standup comedy routine.

From a Doug Stanhope Myspace bulletin:

Just For Spite…

I’ll be there this weekend and I need word of mouth.

If you dont know the festival, you’ll find out at this show.

Cafe Chaos – July 18/19

The Doug Stanhope’s Montreal Just For Spite Comedy Festival…

I’ll blog it in full after the fact– including how much they fuck comics to perpetuate the myth of their one-time accidental power while using their top-dollar paying audience as a dunce-cap wearing focus groups looking for the next Ray Romano for industry cunts who need to count on the prairies of eastern Canada for an honest opinion.

Lets make rape of it all.

Lets get ugly.

Just For Laughs announced the comedians who will be featured in The Masters and New Faces.

The premise of The Masters, according to the JFL site, is “Whether it’s a famous face with new material or a seasoned pro poised to break out, you won’t see more solid stand-up than when it’s performed by the Masters.”

Billy Gardell
Todd Glass
Thea Vidale
Henry Phillips
Hal Sparks
Kevin Brennan
Henry Cho

What is New Faces?

“Today’s hottest up-and-comers try to catch the eye of talent scouts and network executives in the most important sets of their lives. See tomorrow’s stars today. Fresh, original & hilarious, come see the future faces of stardom.”

Who will try and catch that eye this year in Montreal?

Brendon Walsh
Tu Rae
Ira Proctor
Seaton Smith
Chuck Watkins
Sean Patton
Vanessa Fraction
Erik Griffin
Mo Mandel
Harris Wittels
Mike Palascak
Iliza Shlesinger
Jeff Dye
Kenny Johnson
Chelsea Peretti
Anjelah Johnson
Trevor Boris
Jamie Kilstein
Nate Bargatze
Malik Sanon

Dye and Shlesinger are familiar to viewers of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, as they are among the finalists this season. We’re not so sure that they don’t deserve to be included or that they don’t belong on the New Faces roster, but why hasn’t their management secured more high-profile slots in the Festival? Regular exposure on an American network primetime show would seem to guarantee a comic a spot on Bubbling With Laughter or maybe even a gala. Hit the JFL Myspace to gawk at the headshots.

We’re in Vegas, gigging at the Riv, so we’re on Pacific Time, we’ve got two shows tonight and we’ve got no access to a VCR. And we’re unable to configure our Slingbox so that we could watch it from the road on our laptop!

Erstwhile SHECKYmagazine columnist Dan French will guest blog tonight– He’ll give his analysis of this evening’s episode of Last Comic Standing!

Dan’s latest project is IWorkWithStandups.com. French describes it thusly: “The idea of all of this is to give mid-level comics the same resources high level comics get– pro writing and producing help.”

Here is, Dan French’s take on last night’s episode:

Okay, here we go. Last Comic Standing, Ep. 8, I’m Dan French, sitting in Austin, Texas, just put the kids to bed, now it’s time to crank through the DVR, get my chew on and say what all went down on LCS, or as I call it, the most reviled primetime exposure in the business!

First up, Bill Bellamy wore suits, sport jackets, pants, shirts, all sorts of stuff. Thank God he’s skinny, the wardrobe lady would be near-dead if he was built like a real comic. To me Bellamy is an unevil. No, he’s not funny, but neither is he a totally clueless actor with no idea that he’s even near comedy. There are worse, we all know it, so give him his check and a peck on the cheek, thanks, Bill, see you and your somewhat smooth, somewhat forced faux excitement for as long as we can keep this horse on the air!

Tonight’s episode was the first vote out, and the search for a suitable spot for a comedy kick-in-the-throat? A graveyard! Wait, who was the first one with the “I killed” joke? Not me, I stopped it right behind my “And I thought Jim Tavare was stiff” quip.

A graveyard? Eh, whattaya gonna do? They wouldn’t use any real comic haunts, the strip club, the grocery after the Thursday show, the sticky condo, the reeking hotel room. So I guess a cemetery is as good as any. Although it did make Sean Cullen look even creepier than usual. Those eyes, my friend. You can just see them slowing edging up over the windowsill of a sorority dorm in Des Moines.

Okay, enough crackery. What happened?

Before I get the down and dirty, some context. I think what makes LCS so odd to watch for comics is the add-in television production structures that compete with the lean, honed aesthetic of live standup. A good live club eliminates anything that distracts from the comic, lets the focus settle clearly on the stage, and the magic all happens within the small confines of a spotlight, one angle of vision, and a single microphone. It’s about real, or pretty close to real, intimacy between live human beings.

None of which works on TV. TV is the ultimate glitz and shift medium. It entertains not through singularity, but through things like density and speed. Constantly changing camera angles, sound shifts, color changes, music cues, emotional spikes, multiple characters. Watch your TV from the side some night with the lights out; it literally blinks on and off, forcing you to visually focus on it.

Okay, besides the fact that I love to get all analytic about my standup, this all brings me to why Iliza Shlesinger won tonight’s joke off over Esther Ku and God’s Pottery. She was more TV comedy friendly. On a few important criteria– comedy density, comedy variety, and sex appeal.

For comedy density, she has way, way, way more punches than the other two acts combined. She rolled out linguistically complex images, diatribes, nicks, pops, roll-ins, and any other term I can make up that says she had a fully matured standup text to work with. Esther Ku? Thin broth, my friends. Very few punches, and those she had weren’t strong enough to hang in the air as she cupie-dolled around trying to milk laughter from tiny jokes. What she did wasn’t awful, it was just thin. Same for God’s Pottery. Other than the visual punch of how they look and mug, they took forever to get to jokes, and the song was nowhere near laced with the type of dense punchery that works so well in televised standup.

But that isn’t why God’s Pottery lost. They lost because there was so little variety to what they did. It’s not a bad schtick, it’s just a schtick you can predict very easily after about a minute of it. And the fact that they never broke character at any time during the show? Egads. Egads, fellas. E. Gad. S. Give us some variety. The characters aren’t going anywhere if we get to see somethin’ different for fifteen seconds. It just wore as time went on.

Iliza had lots of variety in her set. She did voices, characters, act outs. She moved. She changed vocal tones. She had varied emotions. Her content won’t put her on anybody’s favorite writer list, but at least it was a good representative of all the variety standup packs into its small space. Esther Ku? Hello, Kitty. Been seeing it now for a long time. you’ve got to give us more than a single note if you’re on television.

Last reason she won? Iliza? Hot. Sorry, there it is. Hot. And a competent comic. Watch out. Yes, she’s playing the unlikable card a bit, and yes, she’s grousy and is like that grindy girlfriend you just can’t keep happy, but she’s hot and comic competent. Tough cards to beat, dudes still in the house.

She could… go… all… the…

Last pip, one thing I sort of like is when they go to a makeshift greenroom where the comics got to do a little of what comics really do – rake each other bloody for flaws in our acts, or crutches we lean on to get crowd response. It was the closest you’re going to get to seeing real comedy on this show, instead of seeing comics doing “televisiony” things like getting “excited” about performing in ways you know they hate down in the basement of their souls – ie, the dozens while dressed like a boxer?

What I noticed about this, though, is what I notice about a lot of comics who do LCS. They don’t quite understand how to make the transition from live stage comic to comic who can win a TV show. They all basically picked God’s Pottery or Esther Ku because they know the power novelty/cartoon acts have with live audiences. But remember, it’s TV. Any cartoonish act is going to be judged, at least subconsciously, against real cartoons. I could pop over to Cartoon Network and see tons of Born Again parodies and Asian stereotyping, at a level and speed and even creativity that makes Ku and Pottery seem pretty weak.

I can’t, though, pop over and see hot blonde who’s good with words turn and shake her butt at me while delivering a pretty acceptable joke.

That’s good standup television. In Dan’s book.

End o’ blog. Back to my friends, the Amazing Sheckyians and Their Dancing Online Magazine Monkey we should all appreciate so much. This stuff is a lot of work.

We received the following document from Marty Fischer, COO of the recently launched National Lampoon Comedy House chain (scroll down this page to see the earlier posting on the new comedy clubs from June 26):

AN OPEN LETTER TO OUR FRIENDS IN THE COMEDY COMMUNITY

As we are presently launching the newest national chain of comedy clubs affiliated with National Lampoon and Dave & Busters, It has come to our attention that some clubs are attempting to bully and intimidate comics with the threat of not booking them if they work at for us or NLCH. This is an unfortunate, unfair, unprofessional and illegal practice. The ONLY loser in this situation is you, the comic, who only wants to work and pay your bills.

Our organization is spearheaded by Marty Fischer and is comprised of industry professionals (managers, agents, bookers, previous club owners and representatives of several comedy festivals) with a combined experience of over 100 years.

More info on our web site www.nationallampooncomedyhouse.com on our present and planned locations.

OUR GOAL:
As always our goal is to provide audiences with the very best talent of all levels. To provide comics with a professional and friendly work environment. To provide a place to nurture developing talent.

BOOKING POLICY:
WE DO NOT RESTRICT COMICS FROM WORKING AT ANY VENUE. THERE IS NO TIME RESTRICTION BETWEEN PLAYING ANYWHERE ELSE AND NLCH. THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS OR REPERCUSSIONS IF A COMIC FEELS HE/SHE HAS A CONFLICT AND TURNS DOWN AN OFFER TO WORK AT NLCH. HOWEVER, IF YOU ACCEPT A DATE AND THEN DROP OUT DUE TO CONFLICT, YOU WILL BURN THE BRIDGE!

PLEASE NOTE:
LOYALTY COUNTS. COMICS WHO SUPPORT OUR EFFORTS WILL ALWAYS BE CONSIDERED FIRST IN ANY OF OUR LOCATIONS.

We hope this is a wake up call to club owners to realize there are enough customers and an abundance of comics to go around, and without you, the comics, WE HAVE NO BUSINESS! So let’s concentrate on building our businesses and give the comics the support and respect they deserve.

If anyone would like to discuss this with me personally, I can be reached at Marty@NationalLampoonComedyHouse.com or directly at 646-773-5050.

Wishing All Great Success,
Marty Fischer
COO, National Lampoon Comedy House

Vince Morris, Joan Fagan and John Mulrooney are at the Improv at Harrah’s.

Glen Jensen, Brad Williams and Chrissy Burns are at the Comedy Stop at the Trop through the 13th, then Ron Shock, Mike Donovan and Dan Grueter take over.

At Planet Hollywood, which was the Aladdin, Don Barnhart and Robert Duchaine are performing at the L.A. Comedy Club, which is in Trader Vic’s (but usta be in the Palace Station… and should not be mistaken for the Planet Hollywood restaurant, which is across the boulevard at the Forum Shops at Caesars… confused? So are we!) PH is bringing in Wanda Sykes and David Spade on separate weekends this month. Spade will be there four times between now and November.

Among the casinos who make an effort to make standup an important part of their entertainment offerings, The Mirage is king! They will bring in Ray Romano and Kevin James in August and November. (Romano is in town currently for the World Series of Poker.) Jay Leno is a regular there as well, appearing Friday and Saturday and then for two days out of every month through December. Both Brad Garrett and Lewis Black will be at the Mirage next month. Jim Breuer is at Boulder Station tomorrow night. Seinfeld comes to Caesars next month for two nights (8-9). Louie Anderson in ongoing at the Excalibur. George Lopez will be the Hilton early next month (1-2). Bobby Slayton is ongoing at the Hooters Casino. Rita Rudner is ongoing at Harrah’s. The Top is ongoing at Luxor. TV’s Craig Ferguson is at the MGM Grand July 24-30.

Downtown, at Fitzgerald’s, at Comedy After Hours, is Tommy Johnagin with “Second Comic T.B.A.!”.

It looks like Roseanne Barr is ongoing at the Sahara.

And, of course, Both Halves of the Staff will be at the Comedy Club at the Riviera through Sunday. With John Dicrosta. And last night, at the Gold Coast, The Female Half took the second game in a three-game series at the Coast’s 70-lane palace of bowling, whupping The Male Half and Mr. Dicrosta with a score of 123! She insists upon being addressed as “Traci ‘Tenth Frame’ Skene!” (Dicrosta took the other two games, averaging just over 129 for the series… but that’s not what matters– this is not his blog. If he would like to brag about beating us, the rules are clear– he can start his own blog!)

After a long bout with bone cancer, Mike Sullivan Irwin has died, according to an email from comedian Aaron David Ward.

He passed away at noon today (Wednesday, July 9, 2008).

Mike is survived by his wife Esther and her son Jordon and Mike’s sons from a previous marriage.

We’re at the Comedy Club at the Riviera! One of the best clubs in the country! We’re here through Sunday with John DiCrosta. Two shows a night, seven straight nights. More details later. Cleveland Improv was tremendous, too. More on that as well. Later.

FOS Alan Kaye writes:

In reading this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly, I noticed something on page 65 I wanted to bring to your attention. Perhaps it’s a mistake.

It lists the Thursday, July 10 episode of Last Comic Standing as the two-hour “Season Finale.”

Is it possibly the suits at NBC have decided to pull the plug early?

Whoa! This is most intriguing. We are in Cleveland… and we’re here until early Monday. But we’re going to try to find a copy. If anyone out there has this issue, or can find it online, let us know.

Is this more chicanery from the producers of LCS? Are they trying to create fake controversy? Why would the publishers of EW go along with the gag? It would only erode their credibility. And their credibility is tenuous as it is.

Is this like last season’s “mistake” when they “accidentally” announced Amy Schumer‘s “win” in a press release for her performance at Mohegan Sun on September 3 of last year, way before the ostensible end of last season’s contest?

Left to right: Marv Conner, Chris Clem, The Female Half, Mark Mazzocco, John David Sidley, Rodney Bengston. At the Cleveland Improv, Wednesday night.

We hadn’t been in the building for 60 seconds on opening night when we encountered Cleveland comic Charlie Weiner. Each Half has worked with Weiner on the road within the past two years or so (in Reno, then in Princeton). It’s always great to see a familiar face when on the road!

Wednesday night, a healthy contingent of The Cleve’s comedy community showed up (see pic above). All were avid readers of the magazine. Always great to meet new faces when on the road!

We’re off today (the 4th!), so we’re going to check out the RnRHOF. Two shows Sunday, then one of Saturday. Then, it’s off to Vegas, baby!