According to their website, “The International Songwriting Competition (ISC) is an annual song contest whose mission is to provide the opportunity for both aspiring and established songwriters to have their songs heard in a professional, international arena.”

This year, Tom Waits was one of about three dozen artists who judged the contest. And Dr. Demento was among the industry executives who weighed in. So, it’s a pretty big deal.

We only mention it because they have a comedy/novelty category. And this year, two comedians were among the top three– Heywood Banks won 1st place for “Toast” and Pat Godwin took third with “First Date.”

Scroll down the page and you’ll find them. Click on the titles and listen to them.

Er… not quite.

It’s Stand-Up for Diversity season!

NBC Universal, as you know, “prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, pregnancy, national origin or ancestry, creed, age, sexual orientation, veteran status, mental or physical disability, and any other category protected by applicable law.”

Did they say, “pregnancy?”

They did.

Anyway, NBC (as does ABC and, for all we know, each major network) has an annual diversity orgy where they solicit tapes and links and kits from entertainers from diverse backgrounds.

The Stand-Up for Diversity program has helped launch many comedians’ careers through industry showcases and nation-wide events. All Top50 eligible most-voted member videos will be submitted to NBC for review, and at least one person will be selected for a live interview.

REQUIREMENTS: To be eligible, you’ll need to upload your headshot and stand-up videos. Make sure to also include information about yourself in your profile.

We note that “age” is one of the categories that NBC Universal steadfastly refuses to discriminate against, but we don’t ever recall anyone over the age of twentysomething included in any of their diversity events. (And though NBC Universal claims not to discriminate against anyone based on his “national origin,” we note that their Stand-Up for Diversity program is open only to “members” in the United States.

Minor details.

Find out how to upload your videos here.

We have a soft spot for biographies set in Hollywood. It doesn’t matter if they’re recent or not. (One of our favorites was Dwayne Hickman’s autobiography, which we regret leaving behind on a plane.)

This one was published in 2004 and it can be had for a nickel on Amazon.com! But it’s worth a whole lot more!

We recall seeing Green’s television show when he was working for Canada’s Comedy Network, probably in 1998, probably while we were gigging in Toronto or Montreal, just before he “blew up” on MTV here in the states.

Most recently, we were aware of his internet-only talk show, produced out of his home (with FOS Gabe Abelson writing) in 2006 or so.

Everything in between was a blur.

Among Green’s many obsessions in his early years was standup. He started that in 1986 or so.

When I was fifteen, my friends and I started going down to the local comedy club, Yuk-Yuk’s, and heckling. The way we heckled was kind of weird. For example, we’d all sit in the front row with our hands on our right cheek and every time the comedian would tell a punch line we’d switch our hands to our left cheek at exactly the same moment, wihout laughing. It was like three completely bored people moving in unison. It would, of course, drive the comedian nuts. It wasn’t long before we got kicked out of the club and not allowed back.

Then one day we found out there was an amateur night at the club, so we called in our names an dgo on the line-up. When we got to the club, the manager, Howie Wagman, recognized us as the troublemakers, and he woulnd’t let us in. Then the bouncer, his name was Teebor, the guy who had actually kicked us out of the club, went up to the manager and whispered, “You know, when I kicked these guys out last week, they were, you know, kinda funny.” So the manager relented and said we could go on.

I was fifteen years old, and Yuk-Yuk’s was the first bar I’d ever entered. I guess there must have been a loophoole– the club probably had a restaurant licesae, ut it felt like a bar. My friendks Derek and Phil and I all blended into the shadows of the back of the club. We were afraid, no, wee were scared shitless out of the crowd. Not only was it intimidating to be going onstage in a professional club, but it would be in front of a crowd of drunken college students much older than us.

So I went on and did great (my two friends bombed and left stand-up soon after). I’m sure I scored because I was fifteen and looked nervous and people felt sorry for me. And the material was bad, along the lines of “Have you seen the commercial…”[…]

Still they let me come back, once a week, and it took four months or so before I was even close to reaching the level of that first performance. After six or seven months, I started getting opening spots for the pros who came through Ottawa on the weekends. I was paid twenty dollars per performance. They wrote an article about me in a tiny local paper called The Star, and someone pinned it up at school. There was something about being at the comedy club that made me feel like I was a part of something real. For the first time I was surrounded by other people who actually believed that being funny could be a career. And for the first time I was able to put a label on what had until then been just stupidity. I was no longer just and idiot– I was now a comedian. One day I was doing silly stuff at home to annoy my parents. The next I was getting paid to do it on stage. It was an exhilarating transition.

Green soon abandoned standup for rap… and then abandoned that for the next obsession. (He seems to exhibit a pattern: He latches onto something– skateboarding, standup, radio, etc.– thoroughly immerses himself in it, then goes onto the next thing.)

Of course, most people on the planet know him for his trailblazing video work. It was definitely not mainstream stuff, but it was original and it has since been copied and it can be argued that his work– especially his antics on local access television in Ottawa and his work on the Comedy Network– shaped the way a generation approached the medium of participatory, improvised, reality television.

Green’s on the road, with a live standup tour. Hit his official website, Tom Green, The Channel for his latest productions. He lists many people as his inspirations, but in his most recent iteration, he seems to be most like a post-modern Steve Allen. His Tom Green’s House Tonight show is interesting in that is seems conventional on first inspection, but it’s freewheeling and it uses such devices as Skype to connect the show with viewers throughout the world. And, since it’s not on the airwaves, it isn’t subject to language or length restrictions. And there are no commercial breaks!

From the NY Daily News:

GARVEY– Raymond “Ray”. On April 20, 2010. Former proprietor of Ray’s Comedy Club & Pip’s Comedy Club, Proprietor of the Borgata Comedy Club, Retired NYPD & DSNY and paper handler for the Daily News. Beloved son of Adrienne (nee Kenning) & the late John. Loving companion of Sharon Super and a good friend to her brother Lenny Super. Dear father of Ray Jr. & Araina. Cherished brother of Adrienne, Alan (Nancy), and Murph (Lisa). Special uncle of Vincent, Nick “Ne-Ne”, Janelle, Jonathan, Kevin & Bryan. Funeral Saturday, 8:30 A.M. from the MARINE PARK FUNERAL HOME 3024 Quentin Rd., Bklyn. Funeral Mass 9:30 A.M. St. Edmund R.C. Church. Interment Resurrection Cemetery. Visitation Thurs. & Fri. 2-5 & 7-9 P.M.

Read more.

There’s another link on the Last Comic Standing Facebook page. This time, it’s for a taping that takes place Wednesday, April 28, 2010, at the Alex Theatre in Glendale, CA. And the headline on the status updates says:

GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE FINAL 10 SHOWCASE TAPING!

Further inspection of the Alex Theatre page reveals no further tapings of LCS. Although we suppose that could change at a moment’s notice.

We recently encountered a longtime SHECKYmagazine.com reader who expressed his puzzlement (and not a small amount of disgust) at our silence on Last Comic Standing, Season 7. We would love to blog about the show and its resurrection. And we will eventually. But we… can’t right now. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, there are two LCS Facebook pages. One of them is considerably more informative. The other is somewhat stodgy and corporate. It is not surprise that it is the second, less helpful one that is the “official” LCS page.

We have unofficial word that Borgata Comedy Club owner Ray Garvey has lost his lengthy battle with stomach cancer. We’re in transit right now (@ the airport laying over in Nashville), but we’ll post further when we get home.

Garvey was an NYC cop, an actor and one of the principals of Pip’s Comedy Club in Brooklyn, a popular venue in the early days of the comedy boom.

Are there two more California-sounding place names than Hermosa Beach and Toluca Lake? We think not. Perhaps they’re topped only by the Slauson Cutoff… but only people who remember Johnny Carson would say that. (Hit the Art Fern Appreciation page here if you don’t know what we’re referring to.) We drove past Slauson Ave. yesterday… were sorely tempted to get out and cut off our Slauson.

We flew into LAX Friday night. The Male Half did sets at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. (Check out the interviews on their website. In addition to being featured on the C&MC website, they run in the Easy Reader every Thursday. They’ve chatted with Ray Romano, Greg Hahn, Tom Wilson, Jo Koy and dozens of others. No wonder the crowds in Hermosa Beach are so good– they’re well-informed!)

That’s Jarrod Harris on the left and Taylor Williamson on the right, in the greenroom at the Comedy & Magic Club. (Photo taken with The Male Half’s new Droid. We apologize… for everything– the distortion from the tiny wide angle lens, the shakiness due to slow shutter speed, the washed-out look of the pic in general… we’re still trying to get the hang of it… yesterday, we booted a call from Bruce Fine because we couldn’t figure out how to go from the Map/Navigation function to the phone!)

On the evening’s bill(s) were Jarrod Harris, Taylor Wiliamson, Marianne Sierk, Dennis Regan, Neal Brennan, Brian Scolaro, Ryan Hamilton, Ty Barnett, Chris Porter, Darren Carter and J. Chris Newberg. The green room at the C&MC continues to be the happiest place on earth, says the Female Half. (Notwithstanding claims made by the Disney people about their theme parks.)

We also (all too briefly) popped into the little room next door to catch a bit of Bach and bit of avant-garde sax music. Four swingin’ cats from Amsterdam presented music on four saxes of varying sizes. They’re the Amstel Quartet. Classical sax at a comedy club? Sure, why not?!

Sunday night, we ventured on the Ventura to Toluca Lake to be present for the launch of Bruce Fine’s latest Laugh Pack venue– at D’Cache, a restaurant offering “modern cuisine and tapas.” And, on this evening, live comedy.

A packed house thoroughly enjoyed Wendy Liebman, Ritch Shydner and Steve White. Also in attendance was Jordan Brady. (We remember sharing bills with Brady when he was a comedy sprout at various venues back east in the 80s.) He’s been here in Hollywood for some time now and is showcasing “I Am Comic,” a documetary which he directed and which he co-wrote with Shydner. (We’re rendezvousing with Shydner sometime this week to procure a review copy!)

Fine intends to offer the “spectacular Vegas style comedy and music show” every Sunday at D’Cache.

That’s Jordan Brady on the right, with Wendy Liebman, lounging in the green room at D’Cache. (Once again, the Droid. We’re going to try to look up some tips and tricks to take better pics with the Droid.)

On the left, Ritch Shydner (Pennsville, NJ!) with Steve White, at D’Cache. (We suspect that the sophisticated mechanism in the Droid camera’s light sensing equipment takes a reading off of light objects– in this case, Shydner’s shirt– and adjusts… too much, if you ask us. Maybe there’s an override.)

It’s just across the wires. The NYT says Conan O’Brien will move into his new TV home in November.

The program will air Mondays through Thursdays at 11 p.m. Eastern, shifting TBS’ “Lopez Tonight,” starring George Lopez, to midnight.

It’s all part of the effort to brand TBS as cable’s home for comedy. The outlet’s tagline is “Very funny.”

No Fox? As it was explained to us, there was no guarantee that an O’Brien talk show on Fox at 11 could get more than the required 60 per cent clearance on Fox stations. So Coco was no go at Fox.

Go to the Alex Theatre website calendar page and scroll down– there are tickets for two nights available, April 13 and 14. So they seem intent on whittling down the contestants via two shows in Glendale, CA, next week. We got this info from a link on the Last Comic Standing Facebook page. (Which has hit its quota for friends… so they’ve started a new Fan page here.) And they’ve got a Twitter account… but that seems to have cyber-wind whistling through it… could this be a portent of things to come? Twitter has been abandoned by a network television show in favor of Facebook? Hmmm…

Anyway, the tickets seem to be free. Several clicks brings the visitor to the On Camera Audiences website. They’re the people who herd tourists and locals alike to tapings of television shows all over the Valley and in Hollywood.

The tenth annual FunnyFest Calgary Comedy Festival is going on next month. They promise:

Non-stop belly laughs with over 70 awesome comedy performers!

* 11 nights of comedy
* over 10 venues
* 11000 punchlines

And director Stu Hughes says that 2 of the 72 spots for performers are open as of this date. So click on over to the site and hit that “Performers” link.

SHECKYmagazine.com visited waaay back in 2004. Our account is here.

If you go, bring a coat:

To put it another way: When we left Philly, it was 30 degrees Celsius and when we arrived in Calgary, it was 30 degrees… Fahrenheit. So, to translate: When we left Philly, it was HAWT, eh?! And when we got to Calgary, it was cold, yah?

Eleven years ago today we launched SHECKYmagazine.com!

That’s a long time in WWW years. That’s a long time in any kind of years!

The posts have been a bit infrequent lately. We have plenty of excuses– Gigging every week for the past twelve, a broken arm (The Female Half), minor out-patient surgery (The Male Half), side projects, auditioning for LCS, historical snowfall at SHECKYmagazine HQ– and we’re still exhausted!

But there’s lots to comment on and we intend to forge ahead!

To all our loyal readers, our advertisers and all the FOS’s out there:

Thank you for the eleventh time!

That’s the word on the street. The club, which had a long run in Pittsburgh, going back more than 25 years in at least three locations is said to be closed as of last Saturday night.

Normally, when we report the closing of a comedy club, we do so with much sorrow. And we are sorry for any comedians who might have had a date on the books with the Pittsburgh Bone.

But we can’t help but think that the business, while momentarily losing one outlet, is that much better off for losing the malignant and baleful presence of the two brothers who owned and ran the club. Never were two people more Eeyore-like when regarding their situation. They never had anything good to say about standup comedy, about the business, about the standup comics who performed at their club(s).

We wish the Pittsburgh Improv all the luck. And we hope the comedy fans of Pittsburgh and surrounding area throw their support to that venue when looking to satiate their thirst for a good laugh.

ADDENDUM: We have learned that the Pittsburgh Bone will move to the Radisson Hotel in Greentree. Details are sketchy, but we’re hearing that it will be three shows on Friday and Saturday. Stay tuned.

Comic Sean Ottey writes yesterday:

NW comedy lost a great comic, booker and wonderful guy last night. Jay Sierra was one of those people you meet who makes you think that there ARE still truly kind and sincerely true human beings out there. He was surrounded by his wife and children when he passed last night at around midnight. He had been battling some medical issues, but we all hoped he was going to beat it.

There will be a memorial in Seattle which is TBA. More details will be available at his facebook page.

And to answer the first question comics will ask– No, I don’t know who is booking it or if there’s a guest spot.

RIP, Jay. Fill the room up there. We’re going to really miss you down here.

Philadelphia musical comedian and radio personality Big Daddy Graham writes on his blog:

By now you folks know I’m sick and I’m gonna be off the air for a couple months. As well as recovering from back surgery, I have some very treatable throat cancer, but it’s still gotta be treated. MORE THAN EVER I’m gonna need you to read my column and correspond or I’m gonna go nuts.

As far as live gigs and appearances, I’m gonna try to do as many as I’m allowed to do. So if my site says I’m gonna be somewhere on Thursday, then I’m gonna be there. SO PLEASE COME OUT SO I CAN SEE YOU.

Thanks to EVERYONE who has already written and called and I’ll be back on the air before you know it.

Everybody think positive thoughts. You can send him your own get well message via his site. Graham also just got over back surgery! What a 2010 it’s been for him! Get well, Ed!

You may have noticed that we haven’t been posting a lot lately. We’ve been busy. Very busy.

And the Female Half has been dealing with an injury. Initially, when she slipped on the ice, she was told she had an “elbow effusion.” Now, it turns out, 5-1/2 weeks later, to be a fracture. (An appointment with the orthopedics folks tomorrow will reveal just how severe and just what measures will be taken to correct it.)

Like we said– we’ve been busy.

And both Halves of the Staff are headed up to NYC on Monday. We’ve been invited to audition for Last Comic Standing. Over the past six seasons of that NBC show, we’ve said some harsh things about it. We never said though, that we wouldn’t audition if given the chance. (In fact, two years ago, The Male Half was practically tricked into auditioning for LCS during a “secret taping” in Atlanta with then-host Bill Bellamy in the house.)

Throughout all of our coverage– harsh or not– we’ve always tried to be fair and we always stressed that we sincerely wished that the show could be… better. (And we believed that it could be.) Well… it seems that folks are making an effort to make it better.

Word on the street is that this year the show will be different from past years. Different how? One thing we hear repeatedly is that it will be more “comic-friendly.” That’s the phrase that keeps popping up. Hmmm…

The Female Half is mildly wigged. For weeks now, she’s been relatively calm and surprisingly unwigged by the prospect of performing in a largely empty room for “a maximum of” two minutes in front of a jury of her peers. (In this case, it will be Greg Giraldo, Andy Kindler and Natasha Legerro.) But as the date approached– and her crooked, throbbing arm didn’t revert back to its old self– she has grown anxious.

But in that time, she has gone up onstage repeatedly and killed– wearing a sling… and doing about 90 seconds of material that references the elephant in the room. She’s made no attempt to hide it. She’s embraced it. To great effect.

But an audition for a network television show is certainly different.

What does one do with an arm that won’t straighten out? Do you go up there and pretend like nothing’s wrong? Do you audition in a sling? Do you wrap it, straighten it out as best you can and try to audition while ignoring the excruciating pain? Should one try to play it like there’s nothing wrong– in essence, hide it– will the brain be too concerned over the ruse? Will it be too preoccupied with the lie? Will this affect her performance adversely? Should she acknowledge it and do material about it? We’re only talking two minutes here. There’s already a crazy amount of things to consider when one goes up amid a low-key, highly-charged, high-stakes circus like the one that surrounds such try-outs.

So many questions.

Ron White is at it again. For the second year in a row, he’s leveraged his fame to dump giant piles of cash onto a worthy cause. The press release explains last Saturday’s event:

The Armed Forces Foundation (AFF) is proud to announce that comedian Ron White of “Blue Collar Comedy” fame has sold out shows at the Warner Theatre for this Saturday, March 13th. All proceeds from the two shows will go to the Armed Forces Foundation and will be used to provide direct financial and morale support to members of the U.S. Armed Forces.

It’s good to see someone using his notoriety for good and not evil.

Clockwise from upper left: Ron White, Unidentified Soldier Mom, Unidentifed Soldier, Kathe Nelson, Dave Attell, Marshall White, Alex Reymundo, Margo Reymundo outside of Walter Reed.

The release goes further:

Following the show, Mr. White will be making a stop at Walter Reed Army Medical Center on Sunday to pay tribute and to host a barbeque for over 200 patients. Joining Mr. White in support of the troops on Saturday evening will be the renowned comedian Kathleen Madigan, who herself is an avid and proven supporter of the troops.

An AP article says that Conan O’Brien will take his show on the road for a 30-city tour. Sounds logical to us.

It might be gruelling and expensive, but it will keep the late-night TV host in the public’s mind (ink will flow like Niagra Falls) and it will cement that bond between O’Brien and his audience while he’s on his forced hiatus. Sure, he’ll only be seen by a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of his television audience (small though it was), but the ripple effect from local television and newspaper coverage will come in handy when a new network is inevitably announced and a new return date is established.

We’re in Asheville this weekend. We passed one of those flashing road signs that urged us to tune into the local traffic broadcast way down the end of the AM dial. We did so, and learned that there had been a rockslide on I-40 in Tennessee and that motorists were being diverted to I-81. Fortunately, we weren’t going in the direction of the rockslide.

We figured it was a couple of boulders on one lane.

We get emails like this one:

Spike TV will launch a nationwide search this week to find undiscovered comedic talent for a new late-night talk show. The series is being developed and executive produced by Thom Beers, owner of Original Productions (The Deadliest Catch, Ice road Truckers, Ax Men and Monster Garage.)

The new late-night entry will differ from the typical late-night chatter of movie stars and politicos and will seek out ordinary people doing extraordinary things. The host search will focus on the same types: undiscovered comedic talent who mirror the regular, everyday guys the show will target.

Casting directors will scour the country and hold open calls in New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Dallas (times and dates tbd), seeking two males who appear to be in their late twenties to mid-thirties. The perfect candidate will have a likeable, regular-guy appeal with inherent comedic talent. Candidates selected will be flown to Los Angeles for a screen test with network executives.

We like that part about “appear to be in their late twenties.” (We wonder how many candidates will actually be younger than late-twenties to mid-thirties, but appear to be so. We would guess very few. And probably none of them would live in Los Angeles, owing to that city’s pressure to appear younger than one’s actual chronological age!)

For more information, contact Erin Tomasello erin(at sign)metalflowersmedia.com and make sure to include contact info, name, age, location and a link to stand-up.

The headline, in the University of Wisconsin- Parkside Ranger News review is the rather cumbersome “Nationally Known Stand-Up Comic Louis Ramey Ignites Laughter from Passive UW-Parkside Audience.” And if you think that’s kinda rambly, check out this gem from author Michael Maxwell’s review of Louis Ramey’s October performance:

Ramey repeatedly made advances at the young college female audience members, even though stating that he had a girlfriend, to keep them attentive and interested, and the strategy remained effective throughout the one-hour comic skit.

We became aware of the review because Ramey himself linked to it in his most recent Facebook status update. (“I’ve got to stop doing shows at colleges,” was his weary but tongue-in-cheek statement.)

Our first impression of the review was that it sounded not unlike a police report– stilted language, odd phrasing, detailed yet oddly cryptic descriptions of familiar things. Then we began to read it like it was the impressions of a space alien who had never before seen a comedy show before, understood the cultural implications and rituals, but clearly didn’t “get” the humor because of the vast divide between his galaxy and ours.

What seemingly could possibly have been the finish of sexually charged rhetoric quickly became a humorous yet racially charged juxtaposition of the Amish tradition and American ghetto lifestyle. What was hilarious and downright original comic material was also accented by an ever-present realism, which is that America truly is a radically diverse and (hopefully less) racially turbulent atmosphere.

Consume mass quantities!!

We hate to dump on the college newsie, but it’s hysterical! (And The Male Half remembers what it was like to be an aspiring writer for a college newspaper. He assures Mr. Maxwell that there is hope that, one day, he can turn it around.)

And we admire Ramey for linking to it. He is indeed brave for bringing to light this painfully detailed account of what must have been an excruciating (if probably highly-paid) gig. Or was it excruciating? We’re not sure! And we’re not sure if Mr. Maxwell truly enjoyed it. (Although there are some indications that he did.)

We do know that we enjoy Ramey’s performance whenever we see it and that the folks at UW-P were lucky to have him!

And it’s Gawker’s Mike Byhoff… again.

Byhoff is a former television video editor who now writes on the subject of television for online gossip rag Gawker.com. We trashed him last year for calling George Lopez, Wanda Sykes and Joe Koy lazy and “racist” for telling similar Tiger Woods jokes on television.

Byhoff is at it again, this time calling Jay Leno a thief based on two jokes from Leno’s Monday monologue. One of them, Byhoff claims, is ripped off from former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate Mitt Romney. The other is a Tiger Woods joke allegedly stolen from an ESPN.com columnist.

Neither joke is particularly good, but neither is particularly bad. And, we contend, neither indicates theft.

The first joke employs a device similar to that used by Romney, in a speech on February 18th, at a gathering in Washington. Romney said:

I spent the weekend in Vancouver. As always, the Olympic Games were inspiring. But in case you didn’t hear the late-breaking news, the gold medal in the downhill was taken away from American Lindsey Vonn. It was determined that President Obama is going downhill faster than she is.

Leno, in his Monday night monologue (with Lindsey Vonn coming up as his second guest of the evening, said:

She was amazing, did you see her? When it comes to going downhill, nobody’s faster. Okay, maybe NBC.

The joke is admittedly similar to Romney’s. It’s self-deprecating and it’s a dig at his employer and it will neither change the world or cure cancer.

But for Mike Byhoff, it’s evidence of something far more sinister.

The second joke in question is simple and hinges on a bit of wordplay. Leno quotes Tiger Woods as “returning to Bhuddism… as opposed to what he was practicing before– that was ‘Booty-ism.”

Byhoff cites a tweet from an ESPN.com columnist Shane Igoe, who tweeted the Bhuddism/Booty-ism joke the day of Woods’ presser, as evidence that Leno is stealing. (“We received a tip…” says Byhoff.)

Neither joke is groundbreaking. Neither is very “fresh,” when one considers that Woods’ conference was only one day after Romney’s speech. (And, to be quite honest, Mr. Igoe should hardly be thumping his chest for coming up with the Booty-ism gag! It may have made it into the Twittersphere quickly, but, as a topical gag, it’s nothing to Tweet home about.)

To Byhoff, however, the jokes indicate that Leno is a thieving hack. He goes into Comedy Detective mode to prove his point, complete with Youtube clips and Twitter screenshots.

He seems to have an unhealthy fixation on standup comics, particularly standup comics who host television shows. Of course, we have a fixation on standup comics… but we’re standup comics! We see no mention of standup comedy in Byhoff’s bio. Of course, this doesn’t preclude him from commenting on standup, but he seems to have a lot of bad things to say about them. And a lot of it is pure horse hockey. Like this, about Leno’s monologue:

Leno should receive the benefit of the doubt, though. These jokes—- while bad—- are certainly obvious for a comedy writer that has to churn out 30 one-liners a night. The thing is, we won’t give Leno the benefit of the doubt. Jay Leno has a history of stealing material and ideas, and those jokes were both cheesy (right up Jay Leno’s alley), and accessible to Leno and his writers. And just the fact that Jay Leno made a Buddhism/Bootyism joke on his first night back should make everyone shake their heads in collective disbelief.

Leno has no such “history of stealing material and ideas.” Anyone who says so is lying or mistaken. He has a reputation for delivering a lengthy monologue five nights a week that is broad in its appeal and that rarely challenges the listener. He does not, however, have any kind of a reputation for theft. In his live standup act, he has a reputation for being a creative, prodigious and hard-working standup comic– perhaps legendarily so.

But this is apparently news to Byhoff.

It might be argued that Leno should have resisted the temptation to do the gag. The Tiger Woods press explosion occurred more than two weeks prior… while Leno was off the air. In the topical humor game, such opportunities are frequently missed. In this case, it might have been better to let this joke go in favor of one that was more topical. But to cite its inclusion in Monday’s routine as evidence of outright theft is ludicrous.

A staffer who comes up with such a joke– especially a staffer that is charged with generating a high volume of topical jokes for a network television show– knows that it would have a very short “shelf life.” And he is also acutely aware that such events as Woods’ press conference will be watched by millions and that hundreds of jokes about it will be instantly written and circulated– via Twitter, Facebook, blogs and water coolers. Under normal circumstances, however, neither of these two factors are justification for said writer to withhold or turf such a joke. But the passage of more than 15 days is a very strong incentive to leave the joke out. By that time, even a grandmother or two might have come up with such a punchline. It is the passage of time that makes the joke egregious, not the relative weakness.

A very good case could have been made that Leno’s monologue was weak, even by Tonight standards. Further, there is little question that both jokes should have been left out.

But to go so far as to say that they indicate a propensity to steal material is unnecessarily harsh and perhaps indicates some sort of personal grudge on the part of Byhoff. At the very least, Byhoff seems, once again, to be ignorant of how television comedy writing works (or sometimes fails to) and even seems somewhat mystified as to how humor ricochets around the popular culture. He seems particularly ignorant of the ways and wherefores of topical humor and its peculiar rules and customs. Odd, considering that Gawker is representing him as an expert on television.

The article about his death is here. Funeral arrangements to be announced.

The well-known owner of Rumor’s Restaurant and Comedy Club has passed away. Ross Rumberg, 58, died Sunday night.

“After years of struggling with health issues Ross’ heart seized (sic) to function. He was resuscitated several times throughout the night but because of the extended amount of time he arrested, irreversible damage had been done and no further resuscitation efforts were made during his final arrest,” said close friend Rebecca Fada on Monday.

To accommodate the schedule of this season’s host, Craig Robinson (The Office, “Hot Tub Time Machine”), the producers of Last Comic Standing have changed their schedule a bit.

The open call in Los Angeles, it has been determined, will take place March 6.

And the New York open call has been moved to March 21.

We originally posted it here. That posting has since been corrected. You can find other details there. And don’t forget to scroll down and check out the LCS FAQ.

We just got an email from FOS Bonnie McFarlane. She seeks… well, we’ll let her tell it:

Dear Female Comedians,

Rich Vos and I are currently looking for footage of female comedians onstage to be used in a theatrically released documentary that we are making about… funny women. The tapes should be shot independently, not from a tv show or professional showcase. There is a release form (see below) you need to print, fill out and sign to send with your MiniDV or DVD.

Send to:

Rich Vos
P.O. Box 7799
Hillsborough, NJ 08844

Thanks and we look forward to your submission.

Bonnie McFarlane

Here’s the Release Form. It’s a PDF. Clicking on the link will automatically open it… if you have Adobe Acrobat Reader. (If you don’t have Adobe Acrobat, you can download it, for free, here.

Every so often, a group or an association or a “union” pops up that purports to represent comedians or offer them group benefits such as health insurance. Comedians might want to think long and hard before cutting a check to the most recent one to emerge.

The brief description on their website says that this most recent association was “formed to provide group benefits and services to Comedians and those who support the Comedy Industry.”

There’s one very big problem: The company that they chose to provide health insurance, Associated Health Professionals, cannot provide health insurance to a huge number of the group’s potential membership.

Just for fun, we emailed AHP to ask them if they could offer health insurance to New Jersey residents. (Of course, we knew the answer would be “No.” The boys in Trenton long ago restricted just who could or couldn’t offer health insurance to Garden Staters. Under the guise of “protecting the consumer,” they passed legislation that allows exactly eight companies to do business here. Or, to look at it another way, the laws they passed are so restrictive, only eight insurance companies found it anywhere near profitable to do business here. This is most unfortunate, as there are hundreds of health insurance companies in America, but the vast majority cannot do business with residents of the eleventh most populous state in the union. As a result, premiums are sky-high and companies such as AHP can’t offer group rates to professional associations.)

Since we couldn’t get AHP to answer our question (after two attempts), we found the answer in a letter to the American Association of Woodturners:

AHP cannot offer medical insurance coverage in the states of Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, or Vermont due to state health insurance laws. Due to state mandates, there are limited health insurance opportunities in New York and New Jersey. Alaska and Hawaii have limited policies available as well.

Hmmm… we wonder if there are any comedians living in New York or New Jersey? Or Massachusetts?

On the member benefits page is a long list of “Group Insurance Products,” which lists “Health,” “Dental,” “Pharmacy,” etc., but there’s an asterisk next to each. Scroll down the page and the asterisk indicates:

*Insurance products are not available yet

Nor will they ever be, for a huge number of comedians residing in the states named above.

Wait… what’s this? Under “Latest News” comes the “SPECIAL BULLETIN” that they’ve “assembled a comprehensive plan of a variety of insurance options.” Clicking on the “Member Insurance” link eventually leads to a form on the AssociationPros.com website. (We filled one out and got no response.)

The website is void of personality. By that we mean that there doesn’t seem to be any human beings behind it. When someone is asking you to hand over $89, it’s nice to know who will be cashing that check.

Caveat emptor.

Or was that comedy that it killed?

We always confuse comedy and curling.

But seriously, folks: Have you caught curling fever? USA Network (part of the NBCUniversal family of outlets) has been devoting hours to both men’s and women’s curling. And there are reportedly dozens of curling clubs and venues popping up all over the U.S. At previous Olympics, early rounds are usually sparsely attended, with crowds swelling only in the “medal rounds,” but this year, a 5,000-seat venue has been sold out from the very first stone!

So why is it hot now?

Because it’s on TV. Millions were exposed to curling when NBC covered it at the Torino games four years ago. It’s been getting gobs and gobs of television time this year. Folks just can’t get enough.

Television has that effect.

Expose something via television and (with few exceptions), it will mushroom in popularity.

When we observe this phenomenon, we’re reminded of the meme that “television killed comedy.” Who started that anyway? And why? And why were so many comics eager to perpetuate the premise.

Was it club owners, seeking to find a reason for the failure of their venues? Whenever folks deal with failure, they tend to find a scapegoat.

Concepts like “TV killed comedy” become accepted wisdom and then seep deeper into the culture and become inviolable. To this day, we hear comedians, agents, club owners and others utter the phrase (or a variation) in interviews.

The media loves stuff like that. It makes for great copy. And, since they’re merely entertainment or features writers, they aren’t really obligated (or inclined) to actually investigate the claim and either verify it or debunk it. So the idea carries on.

And, as a result, there hasn’t been much comedy on television these days. Oh, sure, there’s Comedy Central churning out half-hours and specials. But that’s cable. And they skew younger. There’s the occasional comedian on a late night show here and there, but those spots are fewer compared to 20 years ago. And primetime network television? Forget about it.

There’s a market out there. And there’s no shortage of mature, experienced, competent comedians out there. Where are all the standup shows or specials? Some brave soul has to buck the conventional wisdom and champion comedy again.

Abbreviation madness!

Note: They are NOT acronyms… acronyms must be pronounceable. We suppose one could refer to the NBC reality show by calling it “Licks” or “Lacks,” but that would sound goofy. Mind you, if judged on previous seasons of the show, it would be appropriate to call the show “Licks” or “Lacks.” But, from what we hear, the upcoming season will not lack. It will be, we are told second- and third-hand, “comedian-friendly.”

We are understandably skeptical. But we are willing to give the producers the benefit of the doubt. Herewith is their Frequently Asked Questions list from the show’s Facebook page:

What time should I arrive?
-Auditions will run from 9am to 6pm. We recommend arriving early as we cannot guarantee the number of people the judges will have time to see.

Is parking available?
-Production does not provide parking. There is street parking around the Improv in LA. We do not recommend driving in NY, as there is no parking at Gotham.

What should I bring to the audition?
-Please bring a picture ID AND I-9 documentation (US Social Security Card, US Passport, or Greencard).

What do I do once I get to the club?
-Get in line…further instructions will be given as needed.

Is there paperwork I can fill out?
-Paperwork will be completed at the audition prior to your performance.

How long is the audition?
-You have 2 minutes to impress the judges in the initial round.

What happens if I advance?
-If the judges select you to advance to the showcase round, you will be given the information at that time.

Is there an age limit?
-You must be over 18 to audition

How can I attend the showcase taping in the audience?
-Contact the Improv in LA & Gotham in NY directly to purchase tickets.

Will you be auditioning in any other cities besides NY & LA?
-No. We will only be in NY & LA this season.

Stay tuned.

We worked at the Joke Joint this past weekend. Technically not Minneapolis, but Bloomington. But always a good time.

The Female Half displayed tremendous courage– playing hurt (elbow effusion, arm in a sling) and sick (head cold)– but the crowds were tremendous and the weekend a success.

On Saturday evening, Rabbi Bob Alpler stopped by and did a splendid guest set on the second show. (“My first comedy club set in ages,” says Alper.) He was in town to do a Sunday evening synagogue show in St. Paul with Houston-based comedian Mo Amer. Amer is one of the revolving Muslims that Alper performs with in a show entitled “One Muslim. One Jew, One Stage.” Amer flew into Minneapolis very late and stopped by the club well after the room had emptied. It was a pleasure to meet him.

Also stopping by was Dan Schlissel, CEO of Minneapolis-based Stand Up! Records.

Our host for the weekend, Rick Logan, sent us a link to a Youtube video produced by Eric Lyden called “Bring Her.” He brought it to our attention after reading our most recent condemnation of bringer shows. (For that posting, entitled “They Have No Shame,” scroll down or click here.)

Photo credit: Ken Reed

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse.

The comedy club (and we use that term advisedly) that opened up in the former Rascals spot in Cherry Hill, NJ (just seven minutes from where we live), has sunk to a heretofore unimaginable depth. They’re advertising “The Best Bringer Show” on their website.

That’s right– it’s not just a shitty bringer show, no, no, no! It’s the best bringer show.

This would be an abuse of the English language, because using the word “best” implies “good” to begin with. And there ain’t nothing good about a bringer show. Especially a bringer show on a weekend!

We ask the question: Is there a better way to thoroughly bone your customers– and thoroughly taint comedy in South Jersey, quite possibly forever– by charging customers top dollar to see a weekend show that is populated mainly with amateurs whose only qualification for being onstage is that they were able to intimidate, harass and harangue their “friends” into paying to see them embarrass themselves on a comedy club stage.)

The answer, sadly, is “YES!” (If you are Sarcasm proprietor Steve Trevelise.) Turn the whole thing into an audition. The website promotes their Friday, March 5, show by throwing in the tagline, “Get noticed by a talent scout!”

When you click for details, you’re treated to the following:

Sarcasm believes “Bringer Shows” should be a win-win situation. so on Friday March 5th

Sarcasm presents a special “Bringer” show for experienced comics only. Suzy Yengo owner of the Catch A Rising Star National Chain and Prime Time Comedy Club in Sayreville will be in attendance and scouting new talent.

In order to get on stage you must be at least an emcee and must bring at least 8 people… no exceptions.

You will receive 5-7 minutes stagetime, make it count.

Sign ups through “Contact Us” will be fist (sic) come first serve.

Everyone who performs will receive 20 dollars.

get NoTiceD get PAID
ONLY AT SARCASM

We’re reminded of the scene from Fox’s (sadly) short-lived television series Action where, during a pitch session, Jay Mohr‘s Peter Dragon character presents the Beverly Hills Gun Club prayer shawl to the rabbi. The rabbi says, with a mixture of anger, confusion, weariness and pragmatism, “This is wrong on so many levels.”

It’s not bad enough he’s torturing paying, weekend customers with an open-mike night (customers who also have a two-item minimum, with some of the highest prices we’ve ever seen at a comedy club, including those in NYC), but it’s a bringer show.

On top of that, he’s incentivized the poor amateur bastards in the region by dangling a “talent scout” in front of them. Of course, this is something that any decent comedy club does for its local talent… but it doesn’t charge them for the privelege! (Oh, sure, technically, the comedians aren’t “charged,” and they’re given $20, but they’re called upon to spend their time and energy and their social capital to rope five or eight or a dozen audience members into paying admission to what is basically an open-mike night.)

This whole thing makes Trevelise quite possibly the sleaziest (or, perhaps the dumbest) comedy club owner to ever walk the earth. Suzy Yengo should be embarrassed to be part of this trainwreck. As the owner of a “national chain” of comedy clubs, she surely has other ways of finding talent. That she would consent to be part of this abomination speaks volumes.

The typo in the bringer show copy– “Signups will be fist come first serve.”– is unintentionally illuminating. Trevelise has nothing but contempt for comedians. Schemes like this prove it.

Charging your local talent (when you’re not located in New York or Los Angeles) quite clearly demonstrates that you are not only oblivious to business realities, but that you are woefully out of touch when it comes to the very real and very necessary role that your club plays in nurturing new talent among the local and regional comedians.

We’ve always said that a comedy club should not only serve up top-notch comedy talent to its customers (within its budget, of course), but that its stage should be the entry point for aspiring comedians and comedians who are in need of a stage for the purpose of honing material, practicing TV spots, auditioning for gigs, etc. It takes time, energy and care to cultivate this kind of situation. But the payoff for the club and the benefit to the comedians is immeasurable. There is a symbiotic relationship between a club and the local comedians that benefits both. Severing this relationship (or perverting it) hurts both. If your business model doesn’t allow a straight-up open mike, that’s unfortunate. If your business model demands that you exploit the local comics like “The Best Bringer Show” does, then either your business model (or your ethics) is/are hopelessly flawed.

The best comedy clubs recognize this relationship. The worst ones ignore it and concoct hideous scenarios like the one detailed above.

Everyone we’ve spoken to about this (and similar) shows is justifiably horrified by the implications, not just for the immediate market but for the rest of the comedy business as a whole. If this kind of underhanded garbage were to gain any ground, the comedy business would be kneecapped.

The only thing that might stop it from spreading might be that it’s so obviously backward and damaging (to the local talent pool and to the unsuspecting customers and to the business at large) that it will probably be briefly considered and quickly discarded as the trashy scheme that it is.

Did the Daily Show steal a joke from another comedian? So asks the Gawker.com

They make the case by running a clip from The Daily Show, then screen-capping this tweet from comedian James Urbaniak:

The joke is practically word-for-word repeated by Stewart.

Stolen? We don’t think so. It’s a joke that might have actually occurred to both Mr. Urbaniak and to one of the TDS writers simultaneously. And to the shame of neither, as it is both an obvious joke and a good one.

Then they go off the rails:

Clearly, Urbaniak is not actually upset with this development. The world of comedy is filled with comedians stealing and buying material from each other. It is well documented that Dennis Leary ripped-off Bill Hicks wholesale and that Carlos Mencia hasn’t made an original joke in his entire career.

This demonstrates several things. Not the least of which is a thundering ignorance of the world of comedy.

Comedy is not “filled with comedians stealing and buying material from each other.” Haven’t you heard, Gawker dudes? Comedians are pretty much self-contained units that write all their own shit. Have been since about Shelley Berman or so. It’s in all the books.

Comics, like most musicians these days, take pride in their singularity, their originality. Pretty much the only folks buying material these days are those comics with an insatiable appetite for material due to repeated appearances on television. And, due to the changes in the amount and presentation of standup on television these days, those are few in number.

Way back when, it was commonplace for comedians to steal and/or buy jokes (“Gags,” they called them back then) because they were facing the same crowds over and over again (in the Catskills, for instance), or they were not accustomed to creating their own in the first place. This has not, however been the case FOR FIFTY FUCKING YEARS!

To cite Mencia and Leary as evidence that the business is “filled” with comics who steal is akin to saying that popular music is “filled” with artists who steal because George Harrison was found guilty of ripping off “My Sweet Lord” from The Chiffons. Get a grip.

At the bottom, after the original posting, they insert this:

Looks like our thorough investigation into the dark bowels of the comedic world turned out to be nothing more than a coincidence, where two comedic minds think of the same joke. Scandal averted… for now.

It’s Gawker. We shouldn’t be so concerned. They live for stupid shit like this.

The subtitle of the Jennifer Coolidge profile in the Boston Herald trots out the cougar label. We heard that Coolidge (known for portraying “Stifler’s mom” in the juvenile “American Pie” movie) was doing standup.

She cracks us up when she’s on the screen. She doesn’t even have to speak. So her standup just might be enjoyable.

“When you’re an actress in Hollywood, you’re literally sitting waiting for that phone to ring,” she said. “But when you’re doing stand-up it’s in your own hands.”

She’s got that part right.

The Yuk Yuks people are having their annual Laugh Off, their Great Canadian Laugh Off in which they give $25,000 to the winner.

To enter, click here or click on the ad in the upper right corner of this page.

It’s a pretty ambitious contest. Let them explain it:

Competing in groups of eight, sixty-four contestants will be systematically eliminated to eight remaining finalists over the course of 8 days.

Starting on Friday, March 19th 2010 eight acts will be showcased daily with two shows on Friday March 26th, Saturday March 20th, and Saturday March 27th 2010 at 7:30pm and 10:30pm. Finals will be held on Sunday, March 28th, when the $25,000 grand prize will be awarded to the Yuk Yuk’s Great Canadian Laugh-Off Champion.

Comics can apply on-line in the following categories:

Canadian Amateur American Amateur
Canadian Professional American Professional
International Amateur International Professional

Randomly by computer we will choose:
8 Canadian Amateurs
8 Canadian Professional
8 International Amateurs
8 American Amateur
8 American Professional
8 International Professional

They provide a full set of rules at their website. Apparently, they aren’t kidding when they say that they pick the bulk of the contestants randomly. Of course, they choose a bunch of them via mini-Laugh Offs at the various Yuk Yuks, but as you can see, they select a bunch from the folks who apply online. So hop on over there and read the rules and apply.