In the hectic four days of J.F.L. coverage, we try to give readers an idea of what it’s like to be in the middle of the world’s largest comedy festival (or, perhaps slightly off to one side of the eye), but try as we might, we still forget to include bits and pieces, observations, etc. Each day, we would rise at about 10 AM or so, after an average of 5-1/2 hours of sleep, and bang out our daily update (which would take, on average, about two hours). Things fall through the cracks. Herewith are those things:

Here’s a link to a page of lovely photos taken (not by us, but by ENS Productions for CJAD) in the vicinity of the CJAD remote broadcast table in the Delta mezzanine. (You’ll recall that we were priveleged to be invited to hop on CJAD’s air for a segment, just before heading over to see the “Hell Gig America” flick on Wednesday night.

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Investigate this profile of Lewis Black from Canada.com on the occasion of Black’s hosting of the Stupidity Awards at this year’s J.F.L. (Written by Nelson Wyatt for Canadian Press.)

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We were surprised as anyone when National Lampoon CEO Kent Emmons asked us when/if we were eventually going to get married! To clarify: The Male Half of the Staff has been happily married to the Female Half of the Staff (and vice-versa) for 16 years… 16 years, 237 days, to be exact.

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Where was Dom Irrera?

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Apparently, all the J.F.L. goodie bags (handed out to all the Artistes) contained a tasteful T-shirt (emblazoned with the J.F.L. logo) and, among other things a DVD from one of the artists from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. (It was random. Depending on the luck of the draw, lucky bag recipients got either a DVD or CD from Foxworthy, White, Engvall or The Cable Guy.) Was it wise to have them placed in the goodie bags? Not sure. Kindler cracked wise about it. A couple other comics made jokes. What’s with that? We tried to analyze why anyone would be irate or annoyed (one comic even claimed to be “insulted!”) by it. Maybe it’s this: If your client isn’t going to be present, physically present, maybe it’s a bad idea to be thrusting your client’s product into everybody’s paw. Is it jealousy? Is this enmity exclusively reserved for the Blue Collar boys? Hmmm… no. We think comics don’t really want a CD or a DVD of a fellow comic unless it’s from:

1. A deceased comic
2. A legendary comic (Carlin, maybe)
3. A comic or act that’s actually going to be featured at that year’s fest (and that’s a maybe)

Are we off base here? (Or are we just seizing on yet another opportunity to pile on Parallel Entertainment? Hey, at least we admit to the possibility.) Suggestion: Instead of a DVD, maybe a free drink coupon, “courtesy of the boys at Blue Collar TV! Get ‘er drunk!”

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We paid scant attention to local media coverage of the Festival in our Fest updates. We didn’t have access to a television, so that was out. We did purchase the Gazette faithfully, though. We noted that there was a healthy amount of coverage, fair coverage, varied coverage, but nothing we felt the need to grouse about. Except for Bill Browstein (who, we hasten to add, spilled some nice ink on us when we appeared at the Comedy Nest last January!), who once again can’t resist the tempatation to resort to the old chestnut about how all comics are mentally damaged in one way or another. That drives us insane. (That there would be your irony.)

Brownstein made an interesting point when he said that the best venue to see comedy at the Festival may well be the Comedy Works. (“Twenty bucks buys you 12 stand-up headliners in just two hours” reads the sub-head of his Thursday column.) But, he just can’t help himself:

This show is also competitive, a kind of comedy Olympics as the wits, in their inimitable passive-aggressive manner, seek to out-one-line each another and with the crowd’s approval. Comedians, you see, tend to be among the more insecure critters…

Arrrggghh!

Jim Belushi, who hosted the Saturday night galas, is quoted in a profile in Saturday’s Gazette, by Mark Lepage:

Being a standup is a terrifically horrifying fear of mine. They go out there on their own. They rely on the audience to be their partner. They live on that stress level.

And then there was the article, in the Business section of all places, which purported to give readers the lowdown on how to craft a comedy career. Stephanie Whittaker sought the advice of Jeff Rothpan, J.F.L. founder Andy Nulman, CBC radio personality (and part time standup) Sonali Karnick and comedy writer George Reinblatt. Only Rothpan’s philosophizing didn’t induce wincing. Unlike this:

“Don’t take it personally if someone tells you you’re not funny,” Reinblatt says. “Instead, get funnier.”

Hmmm… Reinblatt seems to sending out a mixed message– Don’t take it personally. Oh, sure, believe what they say, but, uh… don’t take it personally! Sure, you can let someone induce gut-wrenching self-doubt to the point where you’ll change your creative process and quite possibly doom yourself as a peformer, but… don’t take it personally! (Perhaps we overreact.)

For all this alleged insecurity, a standup comic can interact with another standup comic and become friends (or a reasonable approximation thereof) with startling speed. We maintain that, far from being sociopathic, comics have highly developed social skills, and an overall desire (but certainly not an uhealthy one) to avoid conflict. (As was pointed out in one of a thousand conversations over four days, “‘The Festival Dick’ is rare.” Or, to put it another way, comedy people who are truly dysfunctional are in the minority… way in the minority. And they are easily identified, as they stand out.)

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This year, there was no Sunday night gala. There were, however, two galas each night on Friday and Saturday. And this year, there was an all-British gala. Just one of the changes in this year’s fest.

We noted also that they changed the location of the table where shuttle rides were coordinated, virtually hiding it in the rear of the mezzanine. And there was little of the chaos that’s surrounded that table in years past. Perhaps a logistical goof made by the Delta (or somebody!) that resulted in a good number of comedy industry types and maybe an artist or three being billeted at a hotel other than the Delta made for fewer folks seeking shuttles! Some folks who had Delta reservations were put up at The Intercontinental and other “sister” hotels. We suspect that many Delta customers were bumped by members of the many international swimming and diving teams that converged on Montreal to participate in the XI FINA World Championships, a giant aquatic orgy that’s still going on! It added to the surreal experience that is the J.F.L.– flying wedges of swimming and diving types skittering past clumps of standup comedy industry figures swilling Labatts in the hotel lobby and mezzanine. Elevators alternately disgorging blond, broad-shouldered female butterfly specialists or… Penn Jillette! Delightfully incongruous!

Sometimes, chaos, though, is good! Oftentimes, a conversation (albeit a short one) can be wedged in while waiting for a free shuttle ride. Schmoozing can take place amid chaos.

And, we hasten to insert: Not all exchanges at these affairs is schmoozing. Genuine human interaction takes place often.

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The Male Half of the Staff had a brush with a comedy icon Saturday evening:

Although I didn’t know it at the time, the gentleman three urinals down was a giant in the annals of Canadian (and U.S.) sketch comedy. It was only after, when I was headed out of the rest room, when Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson addressed my fellow urinator, as “Bellini,” when I realized it! Had he been wearing a bath towel…

In another bathroom-related incident, T.M.H. of the S. encountered former Big Mover Tommy James in that double-doored airlock they often have at the entrances to all you finer rest rooms. James “greeted” his former editor with a cryptic “Fuck you, twice!” (We hasten to note that it was delivered with no detectable malice. We also hasten to add that a hearty– if somewhat confused– cackle was the rejoinder.) Upon further consideration however, we were disturbed that James had skipped the first Fuck You and hopped right to the second! (“It’s like going straight to the Triple Dog Dare when no dares have been issued!,” says T.F.H. of the S.) Unsettling in retrospect! Would past Big Movers Rich Williams or Tom Ryan say, “Fuck you twice?” We think not!

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It’s official: Eddie Brill can lay claim to The Line of the Festival. You’ll recall, in an earlier post, while we were chatting about the S.O.T.I.A., Mr. Kindler lamented a “laugh line that didn’t get a laugh” from his video earlier in the day. Brill’s quick retort (a good-natured one, of course!) was “Andy, if it didn’t get a laugh… it’s not a laugh line.”

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Our biggest regret: That we never did snap a picture of Dwight Slade and Slade Ham together (with Slade on the left and Ham on the right), only because the caption could have been, “Left to right: Dwight Slade Ham”

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There was a show devoted to remembering Lucien Hold Thursday night (“A Fond Farewell, A Tribute to Lucien Hold”). The Comic Strip (NY) proprietor passed away recently and Barry Weintraub, Johnny Lampert, Lenny Marcus, Vanessa Hollingshead and Elon Gold shared memories in a show at the Theatre St. Catherine.

There was no such tribute to Mitch Hedberg, but there was a page on the inside cover of the Artists Directory (which is not given to the media!!) that featured pics of Hedberg and the message, “In memory of our friend Mitch Hedberg.” Perhaps there was not enough lead time for such a tribute. Maybe in ’06