It’s way past midnight, Vegas time. We’re at the Riv through Sunday with Bruce Baum, and we’ve got two shows each night at 8:30 and 10:30. So, we hadda rig up the video camera and train it on the screen of our hotel room TV and watch it later on, on the tiny 2-1/4-inch LCD screen of the camera itself. Later on is now.

The Radio Challenge. Last week, we saw the previews and said, “The previews of next week show some asshole at a radio station yelling (presumably at the comics) ‘Be funny!'” Well, we were wrong. It wasn’t “some asshole,” it was Adam Corolla. So, change that to “an asshole.”

The radio challenge was a challenge only because each contestant had 60 seconds to be funny with the topic each was given… and they had to put up with constant interruptions from Corolla. He was a comedy speed bump. With only 60 seconds, you would think he could have just shut his yap and let them take the mike for one lousy minute. It was a seminar illustrating precisely what a DJ/morning radio host/air personality should not do when he has a comedian as a guest. (It always creeps us out when the host says, off-mike, just as the last commercial is playing before our segment: “So… uhhh… give me some topics so I can lead you into some material!” And it’s always a comedy killer when the host “contributes” along the way, eviscerating your bit, totally oblivious to where you’re going with whatever it is you’re doing.)

We now share the best piece of advice we’ve ever gotten regarding what to do when appearing on radio: Just go in and take over. Exceptions? Bob & Tom. They know precisely what they’re doing. They are expert in the care and feeding of comedians on the radio. Elsewhere? Take over.

Rebecca Corry got immunity. We have never seen so many comics not wanting to perform, so many comics with seemingly so little faith in their ability to smoke another comic. We don’t get these people preferring to engage in ludicrous competitions rather than engage in what they do (or should be able to do) best, and that is perform standup in front of a live audience.

As you all (in all time zones) know by now, Joey Gay, Michelle Balan, Chris Porter and Bil Dwyer all went head to head to head to head. (There was a four-way tie in the “I think I’m funnier than…” portion of this lameass competition.) Gabriel Iglesias did the “hat thing” again. Annoying the first time, excruciating the second time… only bearable with the knowledge that he is eventually bounced from the show.

Of all of tonight’s competitors, Dwyer did himself the most good with his brief shot. But he’s gone, as readers of this magazine know. As is Joey Gay (misspelled as “Joey Jay” in a previous post). Why did they show that woman looking confused during one of Dwyer’s punchlines? Everyone else was choking, but the camera zooms to this one gal with a sour look on her puss. What’s up with that? Where are they recruiting these audiences? We think they did it (Twice during Dwyer’s set!) on purpose. Perhaps a little editing magic was employed to justify his getting bounced from the show.

You might be saying: Dwyer went out and met his challengers head-on and look where it got him. Perhaps he would’ve been better off with immunity. To this we say that Dwyer’s brief set, in spite of the fact that he was bounced, showcased him very well on network television in front of an audience so large that it might take him three or four Tonight show appearances to equal. He may have lost the competition, but he’s got no short-term career worries after tonight.

The preview depicts a roast of Gabriel Iglesias. (Don’t forget: The next episode is in TWO WEEKS.) Then they turn all serious and say that someone “does the unthinkable” and is thrown off the show. Of course, readers of this magazine know that it is Iglesias that does the unthinkable (but not the unknowable!) and we are left with seven contestants:

Kristin Key
Michelle Balan
Chris Porter
Ty Barnett
Rebecca Corry
Josh Blue
Roz

We are abolutely stunned by how dull and boring everyone appears. The show is a wheezing turd. Properly shot, comedians can deliver some of the more interesting and watchable footage on the planet– has anyone seen Seinfeld’s Comedian? Or The Aristocrats? Or Fran Solomita’s When Standup Stood Out? How has NBC assembled a dozen comics and managed to make them look so utterly dull and uninteresting? We’re running out of words for “boring.” And the animatronic Anthony Clark has our mouths agape. Belly dancers? Snakes? Throwing balls at crotches?

The supreme irony is that the prevailing opinion out there on the chat rooms and the bulletin boards is that this show was rigged by producers who wanted to engineer some classic Reality-TV pyrotechnics, the kind that comes with just the right amount of diversity/chemistry– gather the right (gender, ethnic, age, ability) mixture of people, toss them in a kooky house, throw in a reptile or two and put them in zany situations and capture the resulting hijinks on mylar. All that remains is a bit of editing and you’ve got Reality TV Gold!

What we’ve seen so far is pewter.