The Mandatory Reading light is flashing. Check out this Houston Press article that tells the sad tale of the rise and fall of the once-vibrant Houston comedy scene. It’s a story that’s the same, more or less, in nearly every major market. Only the characters are different and the time frame shifts a little.

As far as Houston is concerned, it’s Kinison, Hicks, Martinez, Prelli and Babbitt. The former, of course, being the town’s late and legendary comedians. The latter being the folks who either masterminded the art form’s dominance and/or presided over it’s long, sad decline.

Martinez says in the early ’90s, the game totally changed. “It was difficult to sell it, when you can get it anywhere, you can get on cable, you can get on regular television, you can it anywhere — free. What’s the point?” says Martinez. “We had to add phone lines and hire telemarketers to start giving away parties to businesses, to colleges, give discounts to NASA and other industries around here.”

Uh… in other words, you had to market the product? You actually had to differentiate your product from all the others competing for your market’s entertainment dollar? Heaven forbid you should have to do anything but throw open the doors and turn on the lights!

Which is all a lot of owners had to do in the ’80s. When the going got tough, though, the owners wept like babies and tightened their fists. The blame game geared up and television was the scapegoat of choice.

Former Houston Laff Stop owner Mark Babbitt, who took over the Laff Stop in 1995 says:

“There were so many stand-up shows on TV that, my theory is, it depressed the market for live comedy.” The rise of comedy specials on HBO, BET and especially the introduction of Comedy Central encouraged more people to try their hand at stand-up– not always successfully. Pressed to fill time slots, the networks, Babbit says, “were just throwing people up there thinking that it was good for comedy, and it wasn’t.”

But Babbitt cites the sweet spot in that era as prosperous. “I’d say between 1998 and 2002, we really hit our stride. We had a national reputation for good crowds and intelligent crowds,” he says.

You’ll have no trouble finding comics who parrot this line of nonsense. Useful idiots, Lenin would call them, if he were involved in the comedy business.

Instead of doing what any businessmen would do– consult with other owners, share information on promotion and marketing, spend money on advertising– they closed their wallets, pinched pennies and surveyed the landscape for someone or something to blame for their predicament. Standup television showcases and the people who coordinated the talent took the fall.

If as they say, television killed comedy, the paucity of comics on television in the decade between ’94 and ’04 should have been boom time. Leno took over Tonight in ’93 or thereabouts (subsequently ratcheting down the number of standup slots) and, at about the same time, Letterman famously announced that he was not having any more comics on his show, so there were fewere 4-minute, 30-second spots even on late-night network television. HBO avoided comedy for a long time during that decade, only recently announcing their re-entry in 2004.

We were practically out of the business by 1995, holed up in Philadelphia, writing comedy for an afternoon drivetime radio show. Frustration was our dominant emotion. We didn’t mind if someone took a look at our tape and passed. But we seem to recall that an awful lot of the folks out there in Comedyland weren’t even bothering to look at tapes or even answer their phone. Why bother reviewing video when you can book half your year in one phone call to Acme Talent or Consolidated Entertainment? A lot of club owners and bookers got lazy, took shortcuts, took their eye off the comedy ball. When their behavior only exacerbated the situation, they blamed TV.

And, like we said, so did a lot of comics. To their detriment. Comics are slowly coming to the realization that television is our friend, perhaps the best friend we ever had. Duh! Why are so many 20-year+ veterans calling in favors to do a frenzied two minutes (or less!) in the middle of the afternoon in an empty club in front of Ant? Because exposure to millions via television is still the limited access highway to packed houses, door deals and bright lights. Radio works wonders, but it’s a distant second to the tube.