Condemned Texas man seeks gags

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on June 4th, 2007

We can’t make this shit up.

39-year-old Patrick Knight will die June 26, barring any meddling from well-meaning but misguided nitwits. He killed his neighbors. Shot them to death. They were Walter and Mary Werner. It was nearly 16 years ago.

Now, as he is snuffed out, he wants his last words to be… funny.

This hump wants to go out with a chuckle.

So far, he’s received over 250 “wisecracks,” as AP likes to call them.

Knight said he got the idea for a joke as his last statement after a friend, Vincent Gutierrez, was executed earlier this year and laughed from the death chamber gurney: “Where’s a stunt double when you need one?”

We hope this isn’t a trend. We fear it may already be.

We wonder how much he’ll pay per gag. Don’t take a check.

Oh, and one more thing: Don’t send him any joke that has to be explained.