Avoiding the "Second Comedy Bust" Pt. 2

by Brian McKim & Traci Skene on January 19th, 2009

Which group is capable of doing the most damage to the business of live standup comedy?

The comedians?

The club owners?

We’d have to say the owners. For it is they who determine whether or not the comedian ever gets onto the comedy club’s stage. (Hold any emails that argue that it is the club’s booker or manager that determines such things– the booker or manager serves at the pleasure of the owner, so it all goes back to him/her.)

Please note that we say, “doing the most damage”– for even though a club owner has the ultimate say in who gets on his stage, the comedian can and does share some of the responsibility.

There is a general feeling in the land that this nation is facing hard economic times (although, judging from the dense traffic around the Deptford Mall this past Saturday, the misery has yet to hit Southern New Jersey!), and that comedy club proprietors will soon be forced to take stern measures to ensure their club’s viability.

What’s the first way to save big bucks? Cut back on the budget for talent!

(We’ve seen this tactic employed in prosperous times… what makes anyone think that some owners won’t try it now?!)

Where’s the most likely place to start saving money when it comes to talent?

If you answered “the emcee spot!” you are correct. (And you are probably an emcee!)

Where’s the worst place to start saving money when it comes to talent?

If you answered “the emcee spot!” you are also correct. (And you are probably a headliner who has just suffered through a weekend of shows with a horrendous emcee… or you are an audience member who endured a show hosted by someone who should not even be allowed to park cars, let alone hop onto a weekend stage to host a professional show.)

How many times have we heard (before the show even starts), “The opening act always sucks!”? This has become a truism among many a comedy fan. Of course, it’s not true. But the public has “caught on” to the set of ideas that the emcee is paid poorly, is the least experienced act on the bill and, therefore, is most often the person on the bill who is least likely to actually make people laugh, keep the show moving and avoid embarrassing moments.

The folks who book the emcees bear some of the responsibility for the popularity of this concept. For although the emcee spot is one of the most important on the bill, it is quite often one of the most neglected.

So, when people start cutting corners, they follow this disastrous formula: Take an open-miker (who only has five minutes) and make him an emcee (which requires him to do fifteen minutes). Then take a comic who was formerly an emcee (and might have twenty minutes if he’s lucky) and bump him up to feature act and have him do thirty.

The result of such cost-cutting is that a paying, weekend crowd will suffer through not one, but two acts who are in over their heads. By the time the headliner has hit the stage, they’ve sat through an excruciating 45 minutes.

And all because, in an effort to keep expenses down, you’ve figured out a way to pay the emcees nothing and a way to pay the features what you formerly paid to the emcees.

Congratulations! You’ve hit upon a formula that will result in complaints, cancellations, terrible word-of-mouth and, inevitably, empty seats.

At the same time, comics bear some of the responsibility for this train wreck. Early on we all need to take certain risks and “move up to the next level.” But, we all need to be acutely aware of exactly what we’re capable of doing. We must be aware of, but certainly not slaves to, our limitations. If you’ve only ever done seven minutes, don’t agree to do 15. (How many times have we had an open-miker look us straight in the eyes and say, “I have two hours of material in my notebook.”? No. You. Don’t. You know who has two hours of material in his notebook? Brian Regan. The list pretty much ends there.)

Is there a solution to this standoff? There are a few. Not the least of which is a more hands-on approach to the open mike night. (If the club even has one.)

If a club’s manager or booker or owner even has to ask a local comic “How much time do you have?” then he is probably not paying sufficient attention to his local talent. (And he probably deserves to be lied to!)

The open mike, staged and used properly, is the lifeblood of any comedy club when it comes to a constant supply of competent comics who can host a show, get the intros right and not offend anyone. Clubs that don’t even have an open mike night are going to have a rough time finding talent for that important opening slot. And are probably going to end up paying more for that position.

The person responsible for talent should pay close attention to the weekend shows as well. Too many club managers or owners don’t even watch the shows. If you’ve got an emcee who is agitating for a feature spot, watching him over the course of two shows can pretty much tell you all you need to know. If you really want to be certain of his skills, have the emcee do two different shows one night. If he melts down and reverts back to safe mode, he’s probably not ready.

It’s quite the feat to book those first two spots on a show. If a club owner thinks he can solve his problems by bumping an emcee up to the feature spot and grab a random open miker to host the weekend, he’s got big problems.

(And if you think that paying your headliner $10,000 will make the audience forget those excruciating first 45 minutes, you are mistaken.)

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