From Steve Roye, the inventor of the odious “PAR Score” software comes this absolutely hilarious throwdown:

You know, I have put up with a ton of crap from Traci Skene at Shecky Magazine for awhile now.

She has lamely attempted to ridicule me, ridicule my software and accuse me of being sexist, in spite of her blatantly racist remarks on her blog about people across the globe using my Comedy Evaluator Pro software for performance improvement.

But make no mistake–I am not sexist. I firmly believe that absolute stupidity is not gender specific.

So let’s cut to the chase, Ms. Skene. I want to give you the opportunity to show the world just how smart you really are about stand-up comedy and prove me to be the fool that you think I am– and have been so bold as to share with your readers.

Fair enough?

Here’s what I propose:

As opposed to you hiding behind your snide comments about me and my Comedy Evaluator Pro software on your blog, away from where any real action can happen:

Let’s get on a conference call where I can invite my peeps and you can invite yours to see who really knows their stuff about stand-up comedy.

Not only that, I’ll make it really easy for you:

I will let you be the aggressor. You can initiate all the questions first.

Give me an intro with all your great accomplishments and I will introduce you respectfully and with dignity.

But let me warn you in advance:

I’m not Judy Carter, Greg Dean or Sandy Shore. The first time that stupidity utters from your pie hole about stand-up comedy, I will eat you alive without hesitation. I will ask questions you could not possibly answer about the art form that I know down to the syllable and you WILL be exposed as a total fool.

Do you want to drag Brian McKim in on the action? I actually owe him an apology for my previous blog post because he’s funny. But if he supports your BS, well hey, bring some back up.

I will be more than happy to take you BOTH on. Equal opportunity and all: 🙂

Let me give you some reference material you may want to look at about me before you decide to jump into the lion’s den:

I was a Navy Senior Chief who was stationed in a war zone and shot at. I’m also a career educator who has ALWAYS been at the top of the education and training game.

Oh, did I mention I have a bit of an education too?

Here’s my “non-comedy” resume:

Professional Resume

Here’s my comedy resume (all entries are accurate):

Comedy Resume

If you are looking for a noteworthy Southern California reference concerning my own comedy skills, best contact Gary Folgner, owner of the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano and the Galaxy Concert Theater in Santa Ana, both large venues of which I have headlined numerous times:

http://www.thecoachhouse.com/

http://www.galaxytheatre.com/

Oh, and you may want to contact Jordan Brady at Uber Content–the production company owner who produced the documentary that I am featured in specifically regarding Comedy Evaluator Pro:

http://www.ubercontent.com/

Now, if you have any spine at all and can back up the less-than-intelligent comments that you have offered the world on the “renowned” Shecky Magazine about me and my software:

You will take me up on my challenge, contact me and we can schedule a phone conference event where you get to show your REAL knowledge about stand-up comedy. It’s your chance to shine!

What I am more inclined to predict is that you will disregard this challenge and write more bêtise vile about me and my software on your blog.

That’s called a LOSER where I come from.

No biggy. But know this:

As of right now, until you can stand up to me in a public forum–on the phone or live in person, you are little more than something the toilet overflowed.

The ball is now in your court. Put up or shut up. The bullshit flag has now been officially raised.

I await your response and acceptance to my conference call challenge, on the date and time of your choosing.

Cheers,
Steve Roye
The Professor of Funny for Money

Our response: What. A. Douchebag.