AP movie writer David Germain embarasses himself in his review of “Unaccompanied Minors” by complaining about what the director has done to Lewis Black:

How do you defang and declaw caustic standup comic and commentator Lewis Black? Stick him in a PG-rated holiday family movie, then stand back and watch the laughs not pile up.

We suspect that Germain was also sorely disappointed that George Carlin didn’t school the kiddies on the seven dirty words while narrating Thomas The Tank Engine? It’s a PG-13 movie!

Perhaps this is Germain’s wink and a nudge to his young readers that he, too, is “hip” to the “youth culture.” His way of telegraphing that “Hey, kids (those under 50), I know who Lewis Black is!” Either that, or AP is hiring 15-year-olds to review movies.

Is it not a time-honored tradition for edgy comedians and others to put aside their acts for roles that do not necessarily incorporate their onstage personae? Is it inconceivable that Black might star in a movie and not be waggling his finger and saying “fuck” while speaking truth to power? Where has Germain been?

And why is Black portrayed as a passive party to all this? We’re fairly certain that Black himself put aside the claws and fangs (in exchange for a hefty paycheck) and that the original script made it quite clear that Black’s character was several shades lighter than that which we saw/heard onstage at Carnegie Hall.

And, had he taken movie role after movie role that had the trademark Black claws and fangs, simps like Germain would be tearing him apart and calling him a “one-note” performer.

AP is reporting at 5:20 AM today that:

Dick issued an apology through his publicist.

“I chose to make a joke about a subject that is not funny,” said the statement, which was provided to the Los Angeles Times. “In an attempt to make light of a serious subject, I have offended a lot of people, and I am sorry for my insensitivity. I wish to apologize to Ian, to the club and its patrons and to anyone who was hurt or offended by my remark.”

The original posting follows.

A sharp-eyed reader sent us the link to a TMZ.com bulletin which described an incident at the Improv on Melrose.

Ian Bagg‘s onstage. Andy Dick heckles him. Dick hops onstage with Bagg (insert scrotum jokes here). Then, Dick “began joking with” Bagg (that must’ve been uncomfortable). They briefly touch on the subject of Michael Richards, but continue onto other matters.

Then:

As Dick exited the stage, he suddenly grabbed the mic and shouted at the crowd, “You’re all a bunch of n*****s!”

The stunned crowd gasped and stared at each other. Bagg tried to play it cool and move on with his set, but the laughs weren’t there.

Big Winners: TMZ.com, Andy Dick (whose reptutation as a “flake” was far more widespread than Richards’ and who therefore, will not suffer the consequences of yelling such things in public), The Improv (It’s spelled right).

Big Losers: Ian Bagg (who won’t be able to wash the stench of association with a “racist,” flaky performance artist who often whips his dick out at inappropriate times), Comedy Industry (now that Dick has reinforced the notion that comedy clubs are “cesspools of hate,” a theory recently made popular by cantankerous crank Nikki Finke).

We feel for Ian Bagg. Unless, of course, this was all his idea.

We received the following email from comedian Jason Resler:

Dear Traci:

I just wanted to tell you that I just read your column on Bemidji, while I’m sitting in the Northern Inn on a day off. I won’t bore you with my horror story right now as I’m sure it will not be nearly as well articulated as yours. But the biggest highlight was following an angry one-armed feature act who had more appendages than punchlines (insert clever Fugitive reference here).

Perhaps the one-armed hack was fleeing from the authorities when he decided to leave me stranded at the hotel causing me to miss my flight out of Minneapolis and thus costing me another day in Bemidji, and Visa another $859. Truly, your column was the silver lining. Thanks to the power of Google I was able to find a fellow comic to identify with. Comiserating is the love of company.

Take Care,
Resler

A sweet piece in Slate by Bryan Curtis about a major-league ballplayer who finally replied to his request for an autograph by mail– fifteen years after the fact– is worth reading.

I recount all this because my mother, who still lives in the house I grew up in, sent me an e-mail the other day. Remember those ballplayers you used to write to, she asked… Well, she wrote, another one of them replied. Someone named Don Carman, a left-hander with the Philadelphia Phillies.

It seems that Carman, who pitched for a little over a decade for the Phils, Reds and Rangers before calling it quits in 1992, stumbled across a box full of letters similar to Curtis’ and decided, a decade-and-a-half later, to answer them all.

We slagged Curtis mildly in October for an article he wrote for Slate about standup, but we’re not totally Anti-Bryan Curtis. This article was a joy to read and we related to Carman (the ballplayer) because, over the last two or three years, we’ve been receiving requests for autographs– not our autographs, but the autographs of famous comics. We’ve posted in the past, trying to explain that we don’t know the addresses of any really famous comedians! It’s the teachers who put them up to it– some sort of letter-writing exercise. We gotta open the letters, just in case there’s a death threat or whatever. Some of them are funny, some are goofy, some are just plain pathetic. One of them even seeks a reply from Snoop Dogg!

Letterman and the network confirmed what was reported in September– they’ll be working together for another 4 years at least.

“I’m thrilled to be continuing on at CBS” Letterman, 59, said. “At my age you really don’t want to have to learn a new commute.”

Letterman is expected to make somewhere north of $30 million a year.

Well, add the D.C. Improv to the list of clubs that won’t be calling us because of our big cyber-mouths!

From a Dec. 1 item in the D.C. alternative paper is an account of the recent Lucky 21 “contest” at the HBO Comedy Festival in Las Vegas. It was supposed to be a contest. The Fest asked 21 clubs around the country to pick their best comic. Those 21 would then be split into three groups and presented as part of the Vegas Festival. The groups would perform twice, once on Friday, once on Saturday. Winners would be chosen by audience vote. The winner(s) would be included in next year’s Aspen fest. According to the account in the Washington City Paper (which was reconstructed from quotes attributed to D.C. entrant Todd Rexx and D.C. Improv manager Allyson Jaffe) no one knows who won. No one seems very clear on whether anyone won.

Don’t you just love contests?

But the quote that got our attention (and the quote that has been circulating through inboxes all over the English-speaking comedy world) is this pearl from Jaffe:

“Once you’re 10-plus years in this business, you only have a certain amount of years to make it,” says Jaffe. “Once you hit 30, 35, you really don’t have that much more time. It’s like an athlete, once you hit your prime, you’re out.” Much of Rexx’s competition in Vegas wouldnt be facing the same deadline. “A lot of these newer guys that have only been it for two years,” Jaffe says. “They’ll have more opportunity.”

This woman runs a comedy club? In a major market? In a major chain?

It’s like an athlete? Once you hit your prime you’re out? Could a standup comic be any less like an athlete in that regard? A comedian’s value rises as he gains more experience. He actually gets better at what he does as he does it more! Sure you can’t cast a 50 year-old comic on Dawson’s Creek, but he can kick mighty ass at standup

What is the origin of this ridiculous meme? Where did anyone get this goofy idea that young comics are hitting it big left and right? From Eddie Murphy’s experience as an 18-year-old SNL castmember? That was 25 years ago! A QUARTER CENTURY! Which child comedian (male or female) has set the comedy world on fire since Murphy’s debut? Do folks consider Adam Sandler to have been a youngster? David Spade, perhaps?

Even if you could cite five examples, we could cite you 25 examples of folks who’ve achieved substantial success after having logged far more than a decade in their craft and at well over the age of 35. Do we have to dredge up Rodney Dangerfield again?

Or perhaps Jaffe’s understanding of what it means for a comedian to “make it” is vastly different from our understanding. (“…you only have a certain amount of years to make it,” she says.)

It might just be that Jaffe’s idea of making it is so narrow, so ill-defined, so simple-minded that we’re not understanding what she’s trying convey. Or perhaps she is totally unclear on what comedians are after.

Is selling out theaters throughout America not making it? Tell that to Brian Regan or Ron White. Is cleaning up in corporate dates not making it? That might come as a shock to Brett Leake or Wayne Cotter. I think that Brad Stine or Jeff Allen could be said to have “made it” as they sell out theaters and arenas on the Christian comedy circuit.

And there are scores of comedians who wield power (and are handsomely compensated) behind the scenes in the production of television and movies. Think Judd Apatow or Larry Wilmore.

It makes little sense to place a premium on youth in a business like standup when all the evidence seems to indicate that the real value derives from skill, experience and notoriety that is oftentimes gained from longevity.

Here is the letter that we sent to LA Weekly after the disgraceful tirade by their “crotchety columnist” Nikki Finke described comedy clubs as “cesspools of hate.” One of our spies on the west coast says it appears in the hard copy as well!

Brian Regan (l) and Paul Mecurio in the basement of the Scottish Rite Theater in Collingswood, NJ.

We’ve passed by the hulking building literally thousands of times while going about our daily lives. The former Scottish Rite Cathedral on White Horse Pike, in the formerly sleepy (but now trendy) borough of Collingswood, is just a bit more than a mile from our front door. When we accidentally found out that Brian Regan was to perform there on Dec. 2 (our eighteenth wedding anniversary!), and when we realized it coincided with a night off, we contacted FOS/Columnist Tom Ryan and asked if he could hook us up with tix and VIP passes.

Ryan has opened for Regan on a few occasions. He happily made inquiries and last night we found ourselves in the third row of the 73-year-old theater, uncomfortably close to the stage (uncomfortable for comedians, that is!). We surmised that we were in what was probably the orchestra pit in the venue’s previous life.

Mecurio opened and did 20, going into the crowd with zeal and pumping up the capacity crowd of 1,050. The room is large, richly appointed and boxy, with a high, ornate ceiling inlaid with stained glass. The stage is huge, the sound was excellent and the fans ranged in age from 10 to 70. To our left sat erstwhile Helium manager Ben Maher with BtB Julie.

Mecurio aggressively works the audience (literally going into the crowd!), mildly panicking the Female Half of the Staff! Just prior to the beginning of the show, The Male Half of the Staff ducked out for a bathroom break, failing to return to his seat in time for the start of the opener’s set. Mecurio, spotting TMHotS trying to re-seat himself without disrupting the show, began to riff on TMHotS’s glasses, but ceased the assault when he recognized him! (“Hey, I like those ironic frames… Oh! It’s Brian!”) Crisis averted!

Regan did an hour. All killer, no filler. The audience wasn’t about to let him get off with just sixty minutes, so he came out and encored for another 20, taking “requests” for old bits.

Afterward, a knot of people, including Electric Factory Concerts personnel, Regan and Mecurio, tour manager Matt Komen (The Biz) and Both Halves of the SHECKYmagazine Staff, gathered at the Bishop’s Collar at 24th & Fairmount, across the river in PHL. (The intersection sounded familiar to TMHotS and for good reason– in a previous life, the Bishop’s Collar, which is now a cool, chic and trendy boite with microbrews on tap and hi-def TV’s, was a dive by the name of 99 West that offered a peanut-shell-strewn floor, a pool table in the rear and a management team that didn’t care if the smoke that wafted from the back was… pungent. (Those qualities made it The Official Bar of the Temple University News back in 1978 or so, which is why at least the adress, if not the ambience, was familiar to TMHotS!)

Regan is confident onstage and off. It is quite a spectacle to see 1,050 pumped, mostly young, Regan fans fill up this theater on a crisp December evening. Young, old, in-between; couples, couples with a teen or two in tow; clots of couples excitedly reciting Regan bits as they ascend the stairs to the showroom. Not much attitude or posturing, a lot of energy. The fans reflect the man– not much attitude or posturing and boundless energy. He is a draw by virtue of his multiple Letterman appearances. He can regularly fill theaters like this one (and larger ones) because of a method and a work ethic that produces fresh material (of equal or higher quality than than that which it replaces) on a scarily regular basis.

His modesty is genuine. His befuddlement universal. He has hit upon a way to wring tears of laughter from the most mundane subjects and has also figured out how to economically work string theory or show horses into short, sharp chunks of hysterical material. While the MSM and the alt-weeklies struggle mightily to turn “Observational Humor” into a pejorative term, Regan has quietly restored it to an artform and amassed legions of fans in the process.

Standup comics Mark Matusof and Al Carpenter (pictured below with their new friend, Oscar ™ is Matusof in the center and Carpenter on the right), experienced a whirlwind week in Hollywood after they were among ten finalists chosen for a Nicholl Fellowship in Screenwriting. Below is Matusof’s account of that week.

Two Comics, One Screenplay, A Week in Hollywood

Meanwhile, does anyone have a Wednesday to fill?

Generalizations are the rule in an opinion piece by Ted Sherman, entitled “Surprise!! “Kramer” Not Alone In Smut Standup Spotlight” (We’d link to it, but the website has an annoying habit of sending the reader to “pop-under” ads and other pages without consent.):

Have you seen stand-up lately? I watch it often. I visited a major comedy club in Las Vegas recently, and although every one of the stand-up routines was mildly to totally obscene, a requirement in Sin City, one guy spent his entire time on stage saying the worst racial, sexual and toilet curse words he could spit out.

No jokes. No punchlines. No humor. Just locker-room obscenities. And the audience laughed, screamed and applauded, including black couples and, seated right next to me, a group of well-dressed matrons. That comedian’s ancestors were Oriental, but on any night in any comedy club in America, anyone of any racial background could have been spouting the same obscenities. “Kramer” is not alone on today’s dirty stand-up stages.

No jokes? No punchlines? No humor? We find it hard to believe that Mr. Sherman encountered a comedian onstage in Vegas who had no jokes, no punchlines, no humor. If, as he says, he watches comedy often, he would know that a comedian doesn’t play Vegas (even the smaller rooms) without having those prerequisites. Perhaps Mr. Sherman was confused. Perhaps he accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting. Or he’s lying about the “major” part of his description of the comedy club.

Did he say Oriental?

Sure wished Mr. Sherman had named the club specifically. We know that when we’ve performed at the Comedy Club at the Riv, the preference of management has been to keep it on the the PG side of the line. And we’ve kept it there. And the other clubs we’ve performed at in Vegas have had that same request.

The larger issue, however, is that Sherman (and publications like National Ledger) will continue to use the Michael Richards thing to say the most damaging things about standup in general. (Sherman even takes the occasion to dredge up “The Aristocrats”!)

Get used to it, folks. Once in a great while, amid the vast, varied tapestry that is live standup in 21st century North America, one comic will say or do something outrageous and this will be seized upon as indicative of the entire business. Ignoring dozens of smart, clever, prolific comedians, the same stereotype will surface again and again.

In his parting paragraph, Sherman implores Richards to cease with the apologies, and that…

…Many other toilet-mouthed comedians are on stage with you in spirit. Unfortunately, there’s no indication of the slime ever being flushed away by genuine humor, good taste, respect, basic decency and common sense.

No indication, of course, if you ignore Brian Regan, Todd Barry, Emo Philips, Steven Wright, Paula Poundstone, Jim Gaffigan…

Sherman is described as “a retired corporate PR manager and executive speech writer. Today he’s a humor and travel writer, and occasional contributor of jokes to a major TV comedy show. He’s a graduate of the University of the Arts and the University of Penn Grad. School of Communications, and a US Navy veteran of WWII and the Korean War.” So, I suppose you could say that his excuse for being so horribly wrong is that he’s… horribly old? (Actually, The Male Half’s old man was a WWII vet and, even after seeing Joy Behar say “fuck&quot about 18 times onstage at a show at the Comedy Stop at the Tropicana, circa 1986, he would never have dreamed of describing her as “toilet-mouthed slime.” So, no, being ancient is no excuse for lacking the ability to think critically.)

One must wonder how Sherman’s moaning got past the editors of the National Ledger, though. They describe themselves as a publication that “wishes to provoke old-fashioned independent critical thinking with our presentation of news stories, commentary and external links that reside within these pages.”

Old-fashioned? Definitely. Independent or critical? No. Not at all.

Someone posted Jeffrey Zaslow’s article in today’s Wall Street Journal in its entirety on the Philly Comics’ Newsgroup. (We’d post a link to the WSJ site, but the article is accessible to subscribers only. Is this theft? Not sure.)

Anyway, it’s an article on how clean comedy is back, because…

…comedy clubs have become a breeding ground for anything-goes slurs, culminating in the recent onstage racial tirade by Seinfeld star Michael Richards.

This exact article gets written about every 18 months or so and it has quotes from more or less the same people. Only this time, the author convinced his editor that the “hook” for the story was the Richards incident, making the article “fresh” again.

It’s no joke. Those in the funny business are saying that, despite all the explicit sitcoms and mean-spirited Internet humor, there’s a quiet countermovement toward clean comedy. Some comedians are deciding they’re tired of using profanity as a crutch. Others find clean comedy can be more lucrative.

It is not “a quiet countermovement,” it is not “a backlash, 40 years in the making.” There have always been comics (Redd Foxx, Pearl Williams, et al) who have preferred to work “blue.” There have always been comics who have preferred to work clean (or not blue). Stories like this one treat working clean as though it’s a “solution” to a “problem.” And they regard the use of certain language as “a crutch.”

Penn Jillette, as usual, brings sanity to the debate when he…:

…argues that the difference between clean and dirty is like the difference between electric and acoustic guitars. “Both make music. Both are valid,” says Mr. Jillette, the co-producer of last year’s “The Aristocrats,” a documentary in which dozens of comedians told variations of the same offensive joke.

Mr. Jillette says that if someone prefers not to use blue material for artistic or personal reasons, he understands. “It’s like an artist saying he doesn’t like using the color blue in a painting. I respect that. But if someone says people shouldn’t use blue because it’s immoral, then I say [string of expletives].”

We have taken Mr. Zaslow to task in the pages of this magazine before when he described comics as “neurotic, cranky, potty-mouthed attention-seekers.” Near as we could tell, the characterization was only somewhat ironic.

Legendary comic Rudy Ray Moore (aka “Dolemite”) has sent out a myspace bulletin urging all comedians to cease use of the N-word.

I would like to send a message to everyone regarding the N word
I can remember when I myself, Rudy Ray Moore used to use that word. In the days it was quite popular, we used it towards each other all the time.

As time passed though, I felt it to be more and more of an embarrasment. I stopped using it, I was one of the fore runners, and my act never suffered one bit.

I convinced the late great Richard Pryor to abandon it’s use and came behind him and applauded him publicly when he did. Paul Mooney has recently announced that he will no longer use it either.

I commend him for it and wish to call on everyone else to follow

With Love,
Rudy Ray Moore aka Dolemite

In a related item, Paul Mooney is interviewed by the San Jose Merc-News on the Richards meltdown and on his crusade to eradicate the use of the N-word.

Oh yeah. I had a romance with the word. I worked with Richard Pryor using the word. It was so destructive– it was created by whites to hurt and destroy– and we were trying to defuse it, trying to desensitize people to it. We did it every chance we got, we would drive people crazy. We were very funny at it. But Richard backed off the word in the early 1980s…

If Pryor’s proclamation had no effect on the frequency of usage, what hope do Moore and Mooney have of reducing it?

It will be interesting to see what happens. We’re especially keen on finding out what Russel Simmons thinks about this. And, with two more episodes of “The Wire” in the can (but not yet shown on HBO), it would be fascinating to hear what David Simon (Executive Producer) thinks about this controversy.

The Yellow Wiggle (Greg Page to us adults) has quit, according to Reuters. He had a double hernia operation a year ago. No doubt his physician has told him to take care when lifting heavy objects and to stop wiggling.

For years now, we’ve been telling toddlers that The Male Half of the Staff is “the Fifth Wiggle.” Those tots heavily into their “Wiggles Phase” then regard The Male Half with a mixture of awe and dread– It’s as if one of the Wiggles has popped out of the set and now stands before them. They often short circuit. When the Male Half effects an Australian accent (and sings “I use my fins… to swim and flop around…”), they shriek and sometimes weep.

According to the LA Times, Jay Leno is suing Judy Brown, editor of such joke compilations as “Joke Stew” and “Joke Soup.”

Leno and NBC Studios filed a federal court lawsuit Wednesday to stop comedy teacher Judy Brown from publishing his punch lines in her books, which are largely compilations of jokes uttered by Leno and other comedians, including Ellen DeGeneres, Joan Rivers, Jerry Seinfeld, Lucille Ball and Tim Allen.

Also included among the many comedians in at least two of the compilations are The Male and Female Halves of the Staff. Way back in 2000, we signed a release, submitted a handful of jokes and felt that the inclusion of a joke or two in a joke book (and any ensuing “exposure”) was a way of cementing our place in the annals of standup history and a good way to promote the magazine. (We even ran one example per day, from the first book, on the front page of the magazine. We did so with Brown’s permission, assuming that, if we signed a release, so had all the other comedians featured in the book, and that was where our responsibility ended.)

That we were included in a subequent tome or two gave us pause, but we figured that maybe we hadn’t read the release carefully enough, so that was our fault. Besides, we haven’t the wherewithal to sue anyone.

From reading the account of the lawsuit in the LAT, it looks like Brown made a fatal error by taking the gags off the television (from, we assume, the nightly Tonight Show monologues), without the permission of Leno, NBC or Big Dog.

Leno plans to donate any proceeds from the lawsuit to charity.

Joke compilation books are a time-honored tradition. In the past, though, the jokes are rarely attributed. At the very least, Brown attributed all the jokes in her collections and provided a bio of each “contributor” in the back of each volume. This may or may not vindicate her, but we have on hand here at SHECKYmagazine HQ a half-dozen similar such books that don’t identify the author and that has always galled us.

If, as Leno’s suit alleges, Brown has collected and published gags without permission, she and her publisher are probably going to pay dearly.

ADDENDUM: The Male Half had a joke appropriated, without permission, approximately 20 years ago for use in a collection of jokes published by Random House. We suspect that the joke was scraped off of an early TV appearance or from an interview with a newspaper in Lancaster, PA. (We suspect this, because he never used the gag in the act and only used in one TV appearance and in one interview with a newspaper in Lancaster, PA.) No permission was sought. When a letter was written, asking at the very least for one copy of the book in question as compensation for the use of the joke, the letter was ignored totally! Ignored! Totally! No response!

Seattle comic Brad Upton guested on the op-ed page of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, giving the persective of a veteran comic:

If a person were to start yelling at a singer, or speaker, or pianist or stage actor, they would quickly be hustled out of the room by security and the rest of the audience would look at that person with absolute disgust and feel bad for the performer. Why is it that a comedian is expected to learn to deal with it? There is no harder job in show business than stand-up comedian. None.

It appeared Monday and there are 106 comments so far.

And Brian Miller (definitely not a comedian), writing for the Seattle Weekly alt-rag brings his hackneyed cliches and jaundiced view of comedians to work in a piece entitled “Laugh Riot.”

Like piano-keyboard ties, acid-wash jeans worn high with white Reeboks, and a pre-Seinfeld Seinfeld with a full head of hair, stand-up comedy seems a relic of the Reagan years.

And that’s just the first sentence! Read the rest for a thoroughly disheartening view of a once-great comedy market.

Go here to order “Shecky Greene Live In Las Vegas,” the CD (“His mugging, dialects, impressions, ad libs, and song parodies are unsurpassed.”) is available only via SheckyGreene.com and it’s only $20 (plus $3 S & H). A convenient PayPal transaction is all that’s needed to bring this legendary comedian’s mirth to your mailbox!

While you’re there, check out the “The Shecky Story,” and read the Shecky Greene Bio.

(Note: If you go there to order the CD, be persistent! Click on “The CD,” then, on the next page, click on “Order!” That’ll do it!)

Damonde Tschritter took the top prize in the Seattle International StandUp Comedy Competition. He hails from Vancouver and the vowels in his last name are outnumbered 4 to 1 by the consonants!

Now that Kinky Friedman has lost the election for Texas governor, the MSM doesn’t feel the need to dig up 30-year-old quotes to discredit him and he is no longer referred to as “comedian Kinky Friedman.”

From an AP story (“Kinky’s Campaign Furniture Up for Grabs”):

People started showing up Tuesday more than three hours before staff opened the cigar-smoking, black hat-wearing musician and mystery writer‘s former campaign office.

It’s all smiles and backslapping now that Kinky isn’t headed to the governor’s mansion!

Gloria Allred is repping the two audience members who were “wounded” by Michael Richards’ tirade at the Factory. The Chicago Sun-Times Richard Roeper has a summary of the whole mess:

As for the two men who say they were the targets of Richards’ rants, how refreshing that they’ve stepped forward to say they forgive Richards and they have no wish to exploit this incident for publicity or money, and they hope everyone will soon move on to more important issues.

Yeah, right.

Frank McBride and Kyle Doss reportedly have retained the services of Gloria Allred, the attorney/publicity hound who never met a satellite TV appearance she didn’t like. (Who’s going to show up next to exploit this, Jackie Chiles?)

Allred says Richards should meet with her clients face to face and there should be some kind of hearing about monetary compensation.

“It’s not enough to say ‘I’m sorry,’ ” said Allred.

“Our clients were vulnerable. He went after them. He singled them out and he taunted them, and he did it in a closed room where they were captive.”

Really? I thought he did it in the Laugh Factory, where they walked out after they were insulted.

Question: Are we hearing Frank McBride and/or Kyle Doss on the infamous cell phone video? Because somebody says to Richards, “That was uncalled for, you f—— cracker-ass m———– … F—— white boy. We’ll see what’s up.”

Not that I’m excusing Richards’ rant in any way, but that’s not the ideal response to a racial taunt, is it?

Allred wants the parties to sit in front of a “retired judge” and determine whether or not her clients should receive money from Richards. An AP account says that Allred “pitched the idea as a way for the comic to avoid a lawsuit.”

Retired judge? A way to avoid a lawsuit? If Allred actually had a case, why would she take it to an arbitrator (her “retired judge”)? We’re no attorneys, but if there were damages of some sort, actual damages, or if there were laws broken, her clients would have recourse in a criminal or civil court. No one in the media has called her on this retired judge nonsense and no one has displayed even the slightest bit of alarm at what effect this kind of genteel extortion might have on free speech. And why is Allred lying to the Matt Lauers of the world by saying that her clients were “held captive?” And why aren’t the Matt Lauers of the world laughing in her face when she utters such nonsense?

Of all the reactions out there, this one is the most dangerous when it comes to artistic freedom. For the seventeenth time, we’re not defending what Richards said. But since what he said was not a violation of any laws, his speech is protected, no matter how disgusting you may think it is. As comedians, we all have a stake in the way this plays out.

Allred’s proposal reminds us of “Eagles Court” the description of which is taken from Wikipedia’s entry on Philadelphia’s Veterans Stadium:

The Eagles fans’ behavior during a Monday Night Football loss to the San Francisco 49ers in 1997 and a Dallas Cowboys game a year later was such that the City of Philadelphia was forced to assign a Municipal Court Judge, Seamus McCaffrey, to The Vet on game days to deal with miscreants removed from the stands. Rowdy fans were held in the teams executive offices prior to appearing in McCaffreys “courtroom”, a converted storage room in the stadium basement.

Of course, both the offending comic and the aggreived (or “wounded” in Allred’s words) audience member would be brought before the judge in Allred’s Heckler Court. (Note to club owners: The judge would probably bang the gavel and award the entire table’s drinks to be comped. Now does Allred’s crusade seem threatening?) If she’s still a member of the Friars, they should bounce her on principle.

In an article in Converge Digest, Roman Polz, senior marketing manager of the Mobility division for Agere Systems, makes ten predictions about the cell phone industry in 2007. (Polz is responsible for 2.5G and 3G terminal specification consolidation and technology road mapping– whatever that means– so you know he knows what he’s talking about.)

Prediction Number Two caught our eye. Tiny mobile phone screens, says Polz, will make long-term, non-stop viewing unappealing and “not a wonderful user experience.” But…

…music will be a non-stop, slam dunk appealing feature of a cell phone that won’t require staring into a small screen. It will only require the cell phone user to listen and relax.

The most likely mobile TV applications will be people checking sports scores and updates; cartoons, videos, standup comedy and general news. All these will need to fit in about a 3-to-20-minute time frame, according to industry experts. Most people won’t watch TV on a cell phone for much longer than that, except for some special, out-of-the-mainstream reasons.

Bold face brought to you by SHECKYmagazine.com, of course.

We’ve been skeptical of just how much folks are going to dig “never before seen footage from the upcoming release of “Bad Boys VI,” but we’ve always figured folks would be fine with catching a laugh or two on the train home from work. If the comedy clips are part of the promotion of an upcoming special or a standup show, it just might entice mobile phoners to tune in.

Just when you thought the story couldn’t get weirder, Richards is accused of making anti-Semitic remarks in the past. And the press is trying speculating on whether or not Richards is in fact a Jew.

A Jewish Journal article delves into the “Is Michael Richards Jewish?” question. “Someone needs to tell Rodriquez that Michael isn’t a Jew,” says a mysterious, unidentified “television director who has known Richards for years.”

At left is the premier issue of P.O.V. from spring 1995, found while culling the detritus here at SHECKYmag HQ. The mag features a two-page chat with Richards in which mention of his military stint is missing, but two mentions of his Bhuddist leanings are prominent.

If you’re keeping score at home, the only people that have dared to defend Richards are Tom Green and old boss Jerry Seinfeld. The enigma that is Michael Richards unfolds.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

For the past few years, on the evening before Thanksgiving, it has become an informal tradition that a gaggle of Philly comedians and other standup-centric people who are friends of Paul F. Tompkins converge on a The New Wave Cafe to celebrate, give thanks, catch up and/or celebrate the regular, annual, temporary eastward migration of Mr. Tompkins.

Following is a photographic documentation of the 2006 gathering.

Comedians Dom Irrera, Joe Conklin

SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim, comedian John Kensil

Comedian Big Daddy Graham, New Wave proprietor Sam Lynagh

Comedian Dennis Horan, comedian, actor, raconteur, bon vivant, connoisseur and boulevardier Paul F. Tompkins

Comedian David P. Hardy, SHECKYmagazine editor Traci Skene

Comedian Frank Barnett, the elegant nose of comedian, actor, raconteur, bon vivant, connoisseur and boulevardier Paul F. Tompkins

In plowing through the mounds of paper here at SHECKYmagazine HQ, we came across the above itinerary. It’s a little hard to read here, but it’s from January 1986 and its the Eastern Airlines itin for The Male Half’s first Punchline tour.

He flew from Newark to Charlotte, Charlotte to Columbia, Columbia to Atlanta, Atlanta to Greenville, Greenville to Charlotte, Charlotte to Newark. The pricetag for all that flying? $147! And the club picked up the tab, of course. (Of course, they had a killer discount because they dealt in volume, but it’s still impressive!)

All this flying around enabled him to feature three straight weeks at three different Punchlines. With the Southwest Effect taking hold in more and more airports, we may yet live to see another era When Middles Can Fly!

A Canadian Press article seeks insight into the Infamous Factory Meltdown by quizzing Yuks mogul Mark Breslin and some comics from up north. One describes Richards’ performance as “a very amateur, childish response.” Others offer advice on how to deal with hecklers.

Other Canadian comics said Tuesday they were astonished by Richards’ outburst, saying they have their own tactics and techniques for dealing with hecklers – none of them involving the shocking route that Richards took.

This film was shot by comic Travis Simmons.

Enjoy.

Thanks.

From FOS Bill Dykes:

Let me state for the record that watching Comic Relief (both live and on tape) was akin to having a Shrimp Po Boy served with frozen shrimp on WonderBread. Where was the local representation? Not even a nod to the local scene and the work we have done in the last year– United Way fundaraiser w/Marc Maron, successful shows w/(Doug) Stanhope, Todd Barry and others, three working comedians calling this home.

Just a bit disappointing.

It felt kind of… empty.

Reuters felt we were newsworthy, though!

Dykes refers to an item on the wires yesterday (“Dark humor brightens life in battered New Orleans”) that details the revival of that city and its comedy scene.

Navigating government bureaucracies, battling over insurance claims, and watching politicians roll out recovery plans that are never put into practice have all whetted what was always a large appetite for the ridiculous and the absurd.

Bigger-than-ever audiences attend comedy shows, residents are devouring humorous blogs and satirical newspapers and growing numbers of amateurs are trying stand-up routines, comics say.

Here on the east coast, Seinfeld is just now being introduced on The Late Show. Word of this appearance and Seinfeld’s statement were on the wires ealier today (after the taping) and there’s an account on AP already, from which this comes:

Comedian George Lopez told Los Angeles television station KTLA that he thought Richards’ lack of stand-up experience may have been a factor.

“The question is you have an actor who is trying to be a comedian who doesn’t know what to do when an audience is disruptive,” Lopez said. “He’s an actor whose show has been off the air, he shouldn’t ever be on a stand-up gig.”

When we heard the Seinfeld statement earlier today, we suspected that he was distancing himself from Richards merely to protect the profits from the syndication of his popular television show– an understandable strategy. We were unaware that the statement was made in conjunction with the appearance on Letterman… to plug the release of the DVD of Season 7 of Seinfeld. Talk about your bad timing. Perhaps the plugging of the DVD could have waited for a while.

Seinfeld seemed genuinely upset at one point, even a little choked up as he talked about his friend Richards.

Then comes the satellite confessional. At one point, Jerry tells the audience to “stop laughing.” Richards even remarks about the studio audience’s nervous laughter and says he isn’t sure the situation is funny. He rambles a bit and even veers into Katrina (?) while formulating his bizarre apology. And then he transposes his rage over all of society in a sort of a meandering speech. We’re fairly certain that if Richards had read a prepared statement, his words would have seemed hollow. However, we’re stunned that he didn’t have some sort of an outline for his remarks.

Richards jabbering accomplished little to either get him off hook or dispel the notion that all comics are hate-filled goofballs. His ambiguous message was “I’m not a racist, but maybe I am. And maybe you are, too.” Great!

We’re inclined to agree with Lopez.

From a Washington Post story (“Spoofer of Iraq’s Chaos Becomes Another Victim”):

For the last three years, Walid Hassan had an impossible task. He had to make war-weary Iraqis laugh. Week after week, the comedian and broadcaster found inspiration in the turmoil and bloodletting. On his weekend television show, “Caricature,” he poked fun at the poor security, the long gas lines, the electricity blackouts and the ineffective politicians.[…]

On Monday, Hassan, 47, a father of five children, became a victim of the war and chaos from which he drew his inspiration. A Shiite Muslim, he was found in the majority-Sunni neighborhood of Yarmouk in west Baghdad with multiple bullet wounds to his back and head, according to police. He was last seen by witnesses in a black car with a driver and two other passengers.

If you must, read this piece of garbage from pompous douchebag Nikki Finke about the Michael Richards incident.

Here’s the money quote:

In my opinion, the real news behind Seinfeld’s Michael Richards spewing “n”-word racial epithets after being heckled during his Friday night stand-up routine at the Laugh Factory (see video here) is this: many of today’s comedy clubs have become a cesspool of hatred. Inside them, racism, ethnic prejudice, religious bigotry, homophobia and sexism all masquerade as humor. Anyone who’s been to the clubs and heard the acts knows this to be true.

Have we not been warning all of you that this was coming? Folks have been rolling their cyber-eyeballs at us when we get the slightest bit panicky. Well, roll those eyes no more.

It’s coming again and they (The MSM) only need the slightest excuse. They did it in the late 80s/early 90s– all comics were “screamers,” and mysogynistic cretins. Once the business tanked, we were no longer a threat, no longer worthy of their attention. We’re a target now.

Thanks to Paul Ogata for sending us a link!

“WARNING: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS PROFANE AND RACIAL” warns TMZ.com next to the video clip of Michael Richards going mental during a recent set at the Factory in Los Angeles. (The video clip rolls after an advertisement for a video game based on “Flushed Away.” How appropriate!)

From the TMZ.com transcript of Richards’ tirade:

Richards continued, “You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! A nigger, look, there’s a nigger!”

The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, “They’re going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger.”

One of the objects of the tirade summed things up nicely, saying, “That’s un-f***ing called for, you cracker-ass motherf**ker!”

Perhaps Richards is just a reeeeeally big Lenny Bruce fan. (The Sarcasm Light is flashing!)

The TMZ folks filed the posting under “Train Wreck.”

One of our new favorite phrases– “Audibly confused!”

Our every move is being recorded. Big Brother is watching? No… Little Brother is in the back of the house and he’s got a cellphone that can capture video! Fascinating times these are. When a comic loses his cool, or bombs, or gets booed, it’ll show up on the WWW. It matters not if the incident occurs in Manhattan or Missoula, in Los Angeles or Lake Charles, it can pop up on the WWW in a matter of hours. The implications are enormous.

UPDATE: Former co-star Jerry Seinfeld has weighed in on the incident:

Seinfeld issued a statement saying he was “sick” over the “extremely offensive” statements.

“I’m sure Michael is also sick over this horrible, horrible mistake,” he said.

“It is so extremely offensive. I feel terrible for all the people who have been hurt.”

The number of articles on Google news is past 400 and no doubt growing hourly.

November 26 is the date for the final. The Underground is the place. These are the finalists. One will come out with $5,000.

Tyler Boeh— Portland OR
Dylan Mandlsohn— Toronto, ONT
Paul Myrehaug— Toronto, ONT
Rory Scovel— Washington DC
Damonde Tschritter— Vancouver BC

Steve Byrne won. Congratulations to Mr. Byrne.

(Before you read this, take a moment to read our interview with Richard Lewis from our October of 1999 issue.)

That’s the title of a bulletin making the rounds on MySpace. It is being sent out by Nick Thune. (We reproduce it here, complete with the faux-E. E. Cummings punctuation.)

i am working the west palm beach improv with richard lewis for the weekend.

there is an opener, a guy that does 10 minutes.

then there is me, a guy who does 25 minutes.

then there is richard lewis, the guy everyone came to see, a guy who does 45 minutes.

when i have performed for 20 minutes, the manager is supposed to light me from the back. using a lit up cell phone or a flash light. a signal to let me know there are 5 minutes left.

on thursday night, my first of seven shows for the weekend with richard lewis, they did not give me a light. i ended up doing 40 minutes.

richard lewis, does not like to hang out at the club. he has the manager pick him up at his hotel 5 minutes before he goes on stage. the manager drives him to the club. calls someone inside the club to light me, then walks richard lewis in right when im getting off.

since they didnt light me, richard lewis was standing in the kitchen getting furious.

a couple of the waiters told me what he said, while standing in the kitchen: “Get that F*CKING GIGOLO OFF THE STAGE!” when i was finished, i introduced him, he didnt want the opener to come back up and do it… he wanted me to do it. i waited for him to come up on stage, so i could shake his hand (usually what happens). when he came on stage, he wouldn’t even look at me, let alone shake my hand. so after 6-7 seconds of awkwardly standing there, i walked off.

needless to say, he isnt crazy about me.

he eventally said he was sorry. and told me he liked my jokes. that was nice, cause his fans don’t seem to be crazy about the jokes. they may or may not be handing out a senior citizens discount for these shows.

We’re unclear as to the purpose of the bulletin. Was it to confess to bad behavior and seek some sort of forgiveness? There doesn’t seem to be any contrition. Or is it merely to slam Richard Lewis? (There seems to be mild contempt for Lewis and his fans.)

We’re puzzled as to why Thune would admit to being so irresponsible. (Not wearing a watch, not getting off on time, etc.) And it’s doubly puzzling that the management of the club disrespected Lewis in this manner– After the fuming in the kitchen, why wasn’t Thune lighted? Repeatedly? The failure to physically drag the feature off the stage after the 30-minute mark indicates either that Thune is fudging the truth or the management of the club was delighting in making Lewis fume.

The Male Half had the pleasure of opening for Richard Lewis and can attest to Lewis’ precise demands. They’re well-known throughout the business– He spends as little time in the club as possible, he limos up, shoot in one door, does his thing, then shoots out another door. After 35 years in the business, he’s entitled to have such relatively mild requirements met. And the club certainly knew what Lewis would demand when they agreed to hire him. So how did this happen?

And another mystery: Since Thune admits that Lewis’ fans “don’t seem to be crazy about (his) jokes,” how did Thune go 15 minutes over his time while not exactly killing? As any comic will tell you, the perception of time is that it sloooows down when the hilarity level is low. This whole episode sounds rather odd. Thune is fortunate that the title of his bulletin wasn’t “Richard Lewis demand that I be sent home.”

To which Mr. Thune replies:

i like richard lewis. and so do his crowds. in my bulletin, i was referencing the crowds not being crazy about ME (to be more clear). i did decent at most shows and really well in one. other than that, i found it hard to connect with the older crowd richard lewis draws.

something i thought was clear in my bulletin:

i did not run a light. i was never lit. to my knowlege. one waiter says he held up a candle in the back of the room at one point (manager was out with richard, he called the waitor on his cell phone. could have been the waitors first time lighting someone. he didnt wait for my response). i did not see the candle among all the other candles. usually they use a cell phone or a flash light.

richard lewis was mad that i was going over. he thought i was intentionally running the light. but he is also a sane-human-being who isnt going to have me dragged off stage. when i finally did see the light, i wrapped up in less than 1 minute.

you asked why i didn’t get off stage if i knew i was over my time?

one reason. i wasnt fully sure. i mostly rely on the club to let me know that. i have never worn a watch.

main reason. my job is to stay on stage until they light me. if i haven’t been lit, and im going way over my time. in my mind, something has gone wrong. was there a mix up picking up richard? is he not feeling well and wants me to do more time? these are common things that happen. i thought this was one of those situations.

in the end, i wanted to shake richards hand. he wasnt happy. he ignored me on stage and i walked off. the waiter told me about him yelling, “get that F**KING GIGOLO off stage.” and i laughed. i laughed becuase it was hilarious. his use of that word. it was funny. i could picture him saying it in on ‘curb’. i can picture him yelling it in a kitchen… the wait staff and the bus boys… the cooks. they must have been dying. but they had to hold it together… thats funny.

i felt everyone else would picture him saying it, and think it was funny too. i should read my bulletins better before posting.

keep up the good work,
nick thune

ps. tonight was the last show. richard rushed on stage. quicker than the other nights. and shook my hand. he told me some nice things, and as i was walking off he had the crowd clap for me again and said he loved working with me.

pps. the purpose of the bulletin? (you asked for that.) i’m alone in a city, something odd happned between me and someone famous, i wanted to share the story with anyone who reads my bulletins or blogs or whatever i type.

Happy to set the record straight.

…we tried, honestly, we did.

Watching Comic Relief on HBO, then switching over to the slightly delayed simlucast on TBS to see which words were bleeped was amusing. But that wears off rather quickly.

Does anyone know who won the Sierra Mist Standup or Sit Down contest? They were supposed to announce it on the broadcast. Perhaps they announced on the west coast. Perhaps they announced it when we had the sound turned down. Perhaps Robin Williams announced it (which means we missed it, because we had the sound turned down every time Robin Williams came on the screen). It wasn’t on the website, either. We know– we’re supposed to be the ones telling you what happened. In this case, however, we implore you, the reader, to tell us what happened. Leave it in a comment if you can. And thanks in advance!

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were interviewed in Rolling Stone. The two come off as new Age Marx Brothers (playing the pompous and befuddled Margaret Dumont role is Maureen Dowd). Along the way, they make some good points and, from the excerpts we’ve read, give good interview (as do most of your comedians).

Dowd: Your shows are like mirrors within mirrors, using a cycle of fakery to get to the truth. You’ve tapped into a sense in society that nothing, from reality shows to Bushworld, is real anymore. Do you guys ever get confused by your hall of mirrors?

STEWART: I didn’t know we were going to have to be high to do this interview.

COLBERT: I think we see it less as a hall of mirrors and more as one of those slenderizing mirrors you can buy that you see in catalogs that make you feel good about yourself before you go out the door.

Of Stewart, Daily Show and Colbert Report producer Ben Karlin said that “He’s self-trained in stand-up. He learned in the wretched comedy clubs of New York.” At one point, they’ve become comedians in response to traumatic incidents to which Stewart replies that he is sick of being a comedian regarded as “an affliction when its really an ability.”

Comic Relief is on HBO this evening, featuring the one-named comics (Billy, Robin and Whoopie). The HBO website arrogantly says, “Everybody in comedy will be there; will you?” Well, we’re somebody in comedy and we’re not there.

In culling our worldly possessions (in anticipation of our move to a new dwelling in the next 100 days), we came across (and threw out) our Comic Relief 1987 T-shirt. It had shrunk to the size of a hand puppet. (Or one or both of us was the size of a hand puppet 21 years ago and it hasn’t shrunk at all!) We got it, if we recall correctly, for phoning in a donation during that year’s cablecast. Back then, the money went to hope the homeless. Back then, comics actually had extra scratch to kick in for helping the homeless– blissfully unaware that many of them would be teetering on the brink of homelessness a scant seven years later! Oh, the irony! (We exaggerate, of course, but exaggeration is but one of the many weapons in our comedy arsenal!)

One of the main reasons we aren’t physically in Vegas to observe firsthand the goings on is that The Female Half of the Staff has been sick as a dog for the past two months or so. And just about three weeks ago, she was diagnosed as having an ulcer and was also found to be suffering from acid reflux (which we like referring to with the much more whimsical-sounding “GERD!”), so after fulfilling her contractual comedy obligations this fall, she welcomed the few weeks of relative inactivity that our recent schedule has afforded her. (For perspective on TFMHOTS’ current tummy trouble, take a moment to read her March/April 2002 column entitled “From The Gut,” which pretty much certifies that this recent digestive problem has been with her longer than anyone realized!)

And this GERD phenomenon might be a little more widespread than anyone realizes. As evidence, we present the following citation from website Mother Tongue Annoyances:

Spend an hour at Blogger.com reading a few personal weblogs and it won’t be long before you read several comments that consist of the following statement, either entirely or in part:

OMG! I think I threw up a little in my mouth reading that!

This ultra-mega-super-duper-pooper-scooper-gag-inducing Internet cliché (c’mon, Tim, tell us how you really feel) is almost always enough for me to dismiss whatever the rest of what the commenter had to say and skip to the next comment, post, or weblog/Web site.

Coincidence? Who’s to say. We find it very suspicious to say the least.

SHECKYmagazine.com– Only we can go from Billy, Robin and Whoopi to homelessness to GastroEsophageal Reflux Disease to pop culture etymology in the space of one posting.

The Reuters article, like a handful of others over the past few months, is only a couple hundred words or so. These articles only scratch the surface. Read between the lines and it’s– please pardon the overused word– a revolution.

Now it’s HBO who is announcing an internet intitiative, partnering with AOL to bring more comedy to more eyeballs.

The cable television network said the new site, called “This Just In,” will feature original programming and not full-length shows from the cable network.

Its first Internet foray outside of marketing-centric HBO.com comes amid ongoing discussions with cable operators and affiliates over how to reach new viewers on the Internet, an HBO spokesman said.

Emphasis ours. We (us, you comedians who are readers, you comedy fans who are readers, you industry types who are readers) have a ringside seat for one of the most fascinating transitions the entertainment world has ever experienced.

Consider that when Bob Hope started out as an entertainer, KDKA hadn’t yet applied for a license. He went from street performance to vaudeville, Broadway, radio, film, television, cable, satellite and there was video and/or audio of Hope available on audio cassette, on VHS tape, on DVD and on the WWW before his death, at age 100, in 2003. The man chased the eyeballs (and ears) wherever they happened to reside. He probably figured there were no more innovations with regard to the delivery of the image, the likeness, the comedy of Bob Hope.

Along comes broadband.

And now HBO and several other entities are formulating their strategies for how to reach new viewers on the Internet, and comedy is an integral part of many of these intitiatives.

Let’s allow for a moment that TV killed live comedy (we’re on record as saying that this is hogwash, as many or you readers know), but let’s say it did. Does that mean that this current wave of broadcasters, cable outlets and others seeking to deliver comedy content via the WWW is a nightmarish reenactment of the late 80s/early 90s– only this time, it’s a hundred, a thousand, times worse? And that Broadband will prematurely put an end to the resurgence that comedy is currently enjoying? If, at the heart of the TV Killed Comedy argument was a combination of “familiarity breeds contempt” and “why pay for it when I can get it for free,” isn’t this recent trend sure to kill comedy deader than it ever was?

No.

This is a new world. The old rules do not apply. Consumers are no longer slaves to the clock. Appointment TV (and the resentment it breeds) is a thing of the past. There is no such thing as a “crowded schedule” when it comes to television. There is no schedule. The consumer is the programmer. The websites (and there will be dozens, hundreds, of them) are miniature studios. We, the artists, will be producers. Often, we will deal directly with the studio/website. There will be little or no friction between the producer/artist and the consumer. It’s a hundred times more disruptive than the situation confronted by performers like Hope when radio came along, when film distribution matured, when television exploded, when cable, satellite and video changed the rules even further.

The WWW is an awesome entity. We’re lucky to be alive. To use the old lingo, stay tuned.

P.S.: File this under We Don’t Get No Respect– The photograph that accompanies the Reuters story about HBO launching a comedy channel with AOL? James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano.

What the heck was that?

Caliendo, on Late Show (as part of Impressionist Week), in the middle of his set mentions Norm MacDonald. He says, and we’re paraphrasing:

And then there’s Norm MacDonald. (In MacDonald’s voice) Hey! Why write a punchline when you just say “Crack whore?!”

(At least it was supposed to be in MacDonald’s voice. It sounded more like a Canadian John Madden.) Then, just like that, he’s onto something else.We expected more… but there wasn’t any– Just boom! Trash Norm! Then, out!

Perhaps they’re best friends and this was a wise-guy shout out to his buddy.

It was still weird.

What took them so long? We suppose that this piece was written from a hotel room in Vegas, which is where the industry is assembled for this weekend’s HBO Comedy Festival. Janelle Brown, writing in Variety, says:

Standup is in the midst of a stunning comeback.

We’ve been telling folks for five years that standup is back to pre-bust levels (and approaching boom levels for at least three years). Of course, we can’t expect Variety to be aware of anything outside of NYC or LA (or Montreal).

To what does Variety (and their sources) attribute this resurgence?

Why the sudden surge in live comedy at a time when the network sitcom is on life support and the economics of feature-film laughs have become tricky? Industry insiders say the Internet is the main reason. Every comic in America seems to have a MySpace page these days; and YouTube’s $1.65 billion payday was built on the backs of the sketch comics who posted their videos there.

Ya gotta love those industry insiders. They’ll tell the Variety reporter anything!

To be sure, the internet is helping, but it isn’t anywhere near the main reason. We have our own theories as to why comedy is back. And, as long as standup continues its slow, steady growth, the golden-egg-laying goose will continue to thrive.

Alfred Lubrano, writing in the Philadelphia Inquirer, talks to some of the most weakminded, humorless people on the planet in an article entitled “Is ‘Borat’ funny or a hate film?” (We are disturbed by the weenie tendency to frame the “debate” as a question. The other Borat story, from ABC News, was titled “Borat a Bad Influence?” took the same tack, as if naming the piece with a question gets the authors and editors off the hook or automatically implies some sort of objectivity.)

“It’s a funny movie…But it’s perhaps dangerous as well.”

“He [Cohen] creates an atmosphere where it’s more acceptable to make anti-Semitic comments, especially if someone takes what he’s saying out of context.”

“I’m not Jewish, but it’s possible some may see the film and think Jews are like that.”

“…Cohen is obviously ridiculing the anti-Semitism…not everyone… might get the joke.”

“We’re concerned people will use material in the film to create more anti-Semitism.”

“Given a choice, we wouldn’t have asked anybody to produce a film like this. We say beware of potential damage.”

“I think [Cohen] is doing damage to Jews. His aggression reveals self-hatred. He’s getting a cheap laugh. This is the humor of a very callous young Jew with no great depth.”

So, the rules are clear:

1. No joking about anything, lest the morons among us “take the joke out of context”

2. No joking about anything, lest the morons among us “not get the joke”

3. If you make a joke about the ethnic group you happen to be a member of, a humorless academic will smear you by labelling you as “self-hating” (Apparently, she didn’t get the memo that Freud is sooo last century.)

4. Joking about something serious is “dangerous”

That last one should give any comedian pause.

We are particularly struck by how horrified people are that Borat blames the Jews for 9/11. For five years now, we’ve heard and read a non-stop stream of drivel– on startlingly mainstream chatrooms, in books by tenured American academics and from the mouths of comfortable, suburban college students from Austin to Boston that the Jews were in fact responsible for 9/11!

Now, mysteriously, that claim, coming from an outlandish character in an ill-fitting suit with a bushy moustache– in a movie that is clearly a comedy– is dangerous. Suddenly, it gives folks license to kill Jews in the street. Inexplicably it is cause for a lot of warnings and admonitions and dire predictions.