Doug Benson OUT! Matt Kirshen OUT!

Your final five: Lavell Crawford, Amy Schumer, Ralph Harris, Gerry Dee, Jon Reep.

Amy Schumer won immunity by amusing three of the suitcase girls from Deal or No Deal, a transvestite, a nun and a clown… one on one… in private booths. It sounds a lot more creepy than it actually was… or maybe it doesn’t.

They took the seven finalists to a social club, then introduced them to six of the girls from DOND. They told each of the comics that they were going to sit in a booth with each of the girls, one at a time, and tell them jokes. At the end, they’d tally up their scores and the winner would gain immunity.

Except they pulled a switcheroo! That’s right– they substituted three of the girls with an outrageously made up transvestite, a nun from an order in Culver City and a female clown. The Female Half predicted Schumer would have the advantage and she was dead on.

It was crisply edited and was actually entertaining. At one point or another, each comic, except for Schumer, reached the point where they gave up. To humorous effect. They were defeated, but not sullen. Once again, Benson was hilarious– spinning out (admittedly) wholly inappropriate material to the nun about how great he was in bed. (Saying later: “I’ve already lost this challenge, so I may as well do the most inappropriate thing I could possibly do… besides whipping it out and slapping it on the table.”)

Dee actually had a strategy: Do the same bit for each and every booth. It was a bit that nearly every woman could relate to, so the strategy was sound. It was undermined when he rounded the corner and discovered the transvestite, who was not only physically unattractive, but seemed to be dumb as a post. Nice try.

Harris booted it bad, probably because he was confident that he could handle any head to head competition and therefore didn’t need immunity.

One thing this challenge may have revealed about comics is that they know their limitations and that they have a sense of humor about their limitations. This tired notion that comedians are always on, and so starved for the laugh, and that they’ll do anything for it, was disproved by this experiment. When we say that some gave up, we mean that in the best sense– when confronted with an absurd situation, they assessed it, they quickly waved the white flag and they surrendered– but they did so good-naturedly. Schumer did not give up. In a way, her inexperience helped her win this portion– not that she was starved for attention or approval, but she seemed determined to avoid the head-to-head at all costs.

When they revealed the winner, Schumer, via a voiceover, told how hurt she was that she got no congratulatory hugs from either Crawford or Harris and she boo-hoo’ed about how she thought they were her friends. As Reality TV moments go, it was a snoozer. We suspect that Harris and Crawford were dumbstruck at the reality of Schumer automatically vaulting to the Final Five. And the failure to be all touchy feely bit Harris in the ass later, as Schumer challenged Harris, thereby practically guaranteeing him a place on the head-to-head show.

That head-to-head, “I think I’m funnier than…” portion took place on the beach near Santa Monic Pier. With a camp fire.

Two comics challenged Harris. Since one of them was Schumer (who had immunity), and the other was Benson, Benson and Harris had to go into the booth together and pick the third comic that would compete on this evening.

They chose Matt Kirshen.

Thus the stage was set for the show at the el Capitan.

What is with the re-jiggering of the rules? Are they making it up as they go along? Last week, a similar situation to this week occurred– a head-to head contestant was chosen by someone with immunity. Yet, only two people went against each other last week. Why weren’t two people eliminated last week? Why weren’t Kirshen and DiGiovanni forced to pick a third comic, as Benson and Harris were forced to do this week? Had two been eliminated last week this installment would have been a whole different ballgame.

Are there any spies out there who can shed light on this?

The Bellamy Bill Assessment:

When starting his “set,” he asked the audience at the theater, “Do you watch Reality TV?” Uh… ya mean… like… Last Comic Standing? Kinda like getting on the plane and having the pilot ask if anyone knows where the plane is headed!

Also, ended his set by doing a bit in which he calls his three-year-old daughter, “Bitch!” A blow for free speech! Or a great way to make the crowd uncomfortable for… Matt Kirshen!

Kirshen went first, Harris second. Benson came out last, after the commercial break and did a bizarre set, a Benson-esque set. And, allegedly, the voting was the closest in LCS history.

Kirshen was a victim of bad editing– he seemingly segued from a joke about a photograph of a naked child by saying, “But you gotta find love where you can!” We’re sure that wasn’t the true order.

Prediction: Harris will win the whole thing on September 19. Just as we’ve been saying from the beginning.

Mel Silverback sighting: He (or someone in a gorilla suit) was in charge of banging the gong to signal the end of each round of the social club challenge. He appeared on camera twice.

Schumer, via a voiceover, on the beach, said, “There are comics who think that women have no place in comedy. I didn’t think Ralph was one of them…” Thereby implying that Ralph was actually one of them. Utterly ridiculous. She should be ashamed of herself dragging sexism into this mess. We speculate that Harris wasn’t upset because she made it into the finals because she was a female… but because she made it into the finals with so little experience. The Female Half started out with Harris, and, according to her, “He never seemed to have a problem with me!” (She adds that she’s also gotten a lot of hugs from the man.)

Tonight’s episode also contained a segment that depicted the seven comics attending a session at the studio of a couple of pretentious, bohemian relaxation therapist gals– beating a giant cushion with a baseball bat, whupping on a dummy, crawling around on the floor and general new age crap. Funny, considering that the number one way to make comics un-relaxed is to put them in the hands of the utterly humorless and make them do the kinds of things that they like to make fun of when they hit the stage.

The AP obit is running in the San Jose Merc-News. Stanley Myron Handelman died at the age of 77.

We just mentioned his name in our appreciation of Merv Griffin. He was a frequent guest on Griffin’s talk show.

Handelman died of a heart attack Aug. 5 in Mission Community Hospital in the San Fernando Valley, his sister Harriette Kaledin said Wednesday.

We had been seeing his name pop up in our stats lately, but we didn’t know why. Apparently, word of his death spread before the MSM found out about it.

An item on MTV.com says that scriptwriters will no longer be necessary in the wonderful, new world of movie comedy.

Why not, we say?! They’re in the process of eliminating them in television. The sitcom, as you know, is dead. The genre is in decline. Reality TV and game shows are where it’s at. And, if we must suffer through a sitcom, it had better be “unscripted.”

Unscripted comedies are fresh, funny, inventive, edgy and wildly entertaining. Fat Guy/Hot Wife is in TV’s rearview mirror. Put the pedal to the metal– we’re headed for uncomfortable silences, authentic conversation and quirky camera angles! Gimme The Office, but set it in a pet store! Let’s re-develop Arrested Development, but this time, make the characters more likeable– and for God’s sake, have them be more… diverse!! How many times will they be burned by Curb Your Enthusiasm meets ER, meets Dawson’s Creek before Fat Guy/Hot Wife makes a comeback and once again sweeps the Emmy nominations?

Now, it’s comedy movies that are all made up on the spot.

“We made up all our lines,” Seth Rogen remembered of Apatow’s 2005 flick, “The 40-Year-Old-Virgin.” “A lot of the stuff was just us talking to each other and trying to make each other laugh, knowing that we had the freedom to say whatever we wanted. It looks very natural, because we honestly didn’t know what we were saying until we were saying it.”

What is the cause of this disease? The answer might be in the first paragraph:

The word “improv” not only gets as many projects greenlit these days as “Spielberg,” but it also connotes mysterious images of comedians working with no net, screenwriters banned from the set and pop-culture-catchphrases dropping from the sky like tender snow-farts.

Pay special attention to the word “greenlit.” Folks are telling the suits that the projects are “largely improvised” or “totally unscripted” because, apparently, the suits are all hot and bothered by the idea and are all too willing to say yes to such projects. (And all too willing to be a part of “a revolution that favors awkward silences instead of traditional “setup, punch line” comedy.”)

You weren’t aware that there was such a revolution going on? Where have you been for the past half-decade? (That’s how long it’s been going on, according to Larry Carroll, the author of the piece. An entire half-decade! That’s a looooong time!)

We get worked up about this foolishness on occasion. Like here when we groused about the trend on March 1, 2006. (Followed by an especially spirited round of comments.)

A reminder. That’s all. No predictions. No spoilers. We’ve been let down! No one has slipped us information on the upcoming episode, so we’ll be just as surprised as everyone else in the Eastern and Central time zones. And we’ll be just as shocked as everyone else to see the challenge they cooked up. (We’re hoping it’s dressing up the comics in a randomly chosen animal suit, like we proposed in a previous post.)

Or how about they fill a club with hearing-impaired people and have someone sign the act. Interesting, and not a bit degrading. (We almost performed for a roomful of H-I people in Reno once. Only the room never did secure the services of a signer… and the in-house promotion failed to snag any takers. It would’ve been interesting, that’s for sure.) There have been one or two challenges that haven’t been embarassing– the roast challenge, the radio challenge, the TV pitch challenge. Perhaps they’ve come up with something along those lines that didn’t lend itself to an exciting teaser at the tail end of last week’s episode.

And, as usual, we’ll be watching and then posting about ninety minutes later. So, check back here at approximately 11:30 PM Heure Avancée de l’Est. (That’s Eastern Daylight Time for you non-French-speaking people.)

That’s Brian Malis, standup comic from Atlanta, at an undisclosed location, somewhere along the Appalachian Trail. He writes:

The Appalachian Trail, whose origins date back to the early part of the 20th century, stretches from Springer Mtn. in Georgia to Mt. Katahdin in Maine, yes that’s right there is a state called Maine. The trail passes through fourteen states unveiling its 2,167 miles, for some reason the mileage changes every year. The topography varies from above 6,000 feet to just thirty feet above sea level. Completion of the Appalachian Trail, the A.T. for short (why does it have to be short?), takes between four to seven months. In my research, I’ve read that about 20 per cent of all the thru-hikers– a person that attempts to hike the trail from one terminus to the other inside of a calendar year– actually finish what they started. And I will start just after St. Patrick’s Day.

Check out Malis’ MySpace for more pics and to check his progress. He expects to finish some time next month.

Click here for the schedule of tapings for Comedy Central Presents later this month at the Hudson Theater, 145 West 44th St. in NYC. (Click on the link above and be taken to On Camera Audiences, where you’ll be able to register for tickets for the television tapings.)

We’ll be there on the 26th to witness the Bonnie McFarlane taping. (We’ll be stopping in on our way home from our Aug. 25th gig at Higher Ground in Burlington, VT.) (Click on the link above and be taken to the Higher Ground site, where you’ll be able to buy tickets for one of our two Saturday night, Aug. 25 shows.)

Here’s the lineup for C.C.P.:

Thu August 23, 2007 6:00 PM
With Billy Gardell and Jo Koy!

Thu August 23, 2007 8:00 PM
With Jay Oakerson and Stephen Lynch!

Fri August 24, 2007 6:00 PM
With Chad Daniels and Robert Kelly!

Fri August 24, 2007 8:00 PM
With Leo Allen and Eugene Mirman!

Sat August 25, 2007 6:00 PM
With Dan Mintz and Jordan Rubin!

Sat August 25, 2007 8:00 PM
With Brian Posehn and Nick Thune!

Sun August 26, 2007 6:00 PM
With Lavell Crawford and Hard ‘N Phirm!

Sun August 26, 2007 8:00 PM
With Dan Cummins and Bonnie McFarlane!

Mon August 27, 2007 6:00 PM
With Joe Matarese and Rich Vos!

Mon August 27, 2007 8:00 PM
With Sebastian Maniscalco and Juston McKinney

Tue August 28, 2007 6:00 PM
With Kirk Fox, Zack Galifinakis, Mike Birbiglia, Bonnie McFarlane, and
Michael Showalter!

Tue August 28, 2007 8:00 PM
With Shaun Majumder and Nick Griffin!

YouTube will depose Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as part of their defense against a bundle of lawsuits.

The lawsuits claim, in essence, that YouTube profits from massive copyright infringement of television programs and feature films. The documents seeking the depositions of Stewart and Colbert pertained only to the Viacom lawsuit.

YouTube says it needs depositions from more than 30 people to fight legal challenges that “threaten to silence communications by hundreds of millions of people across the globe who exchange information, news and entertainment” through its Web site.

The other plaintiffs are a British Soccer League and a music publisher.

There will be no rollicking courtroom appearance by the two, just a quiet powwow around a tape recorder of some sort, at a conference table in an office building somewhere, attended by a battery of attorneys for YouTube and an attorney or two for the deposed.

The outcome could have some long-term ramifications. It’s a watershed case in the short history of the WWW. Read the recap here.

Left to right: Male Half of the Staff with World Champion Judah Friedlander (Photo credit: Female Half of the Staff)

We’re wrapping up our weekend at the Punchline in Atlanta tomorrow (Sunday) night. Watch for Judah on Thursdays on NBC, in 30 Rock.

According to all reports, Merv Griffin is losing his battle with cancer. Rather than wait until he actually passes, we’d just like to say that, as kids, we watched his afternoon program with regularity and with great interest– and we especially got a tremendous education in standup.

Hop onto TV.com to check out the episode guide for Griffin’s long-running talk show.

We recall seeing such comics as Milt Kamen, Jack E. Leonard, Moms Mabley, Woody Allen, Betty Walker, Shelley Berman, Jonathan Winters, Ronnie Schell, Don Adams, Victor Borge, Pat Harrington, Jack Benny, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Ron Levitt, Phyllis Diller, Marty Allen, Pat McCormick, Minnie Pearl, Phil Ford & Mimi Hines, Jack Carter, Stanley Myron Handelman, Red Buttons, Dick Gregory, Rip Taylor, Totie Fields, Georgie Jessel, Pat Cooper, Marty Brill, Charlie Callas, Selma Diamond, Rodney Dangerfield… Do you get the picture?

If you think that the impressive list above is possible only because of the show’s longevity, take a look at Episode Number 789, which aired on February 1, 1968:

Merv’s guests are Rodney Dangerfield, Renee Taylor, Jack E. Leonard and Henny Youngman.

All on one show! We just want to let Merv know that we went to school– comedy school– while watching his show.

From a MySpace bulletin:

After a 20 year career on Wall St. from a messenger
to a member of The New York Stock Exchange, to creating The New York Underground Comedy Festival in 2003, and serving as executive producer over the past 5 years, George Sarris is stepping down and retiring from the entertainment business.

Jim Mendrinos will take over as the head of the NY Underground Festival.

We emailed Sarris, asking if everything was okay, and here’s part of his response:

Everything is totally fine. I just kind of had to make a decision if I ever wanted to actually live or just keep working…lol!

I was on Wall St. for 20 years before this, then jumped right back in the frying pan– this time, comedy.

I’ve basically been working since high school. My family and friends have been trying the past few years to get me to slow down and finally relax and stop and smell the roses. I, of course, chose work, and just kept going.

Then, this year I finally stopped and looked in the mirror, and realized I better choose life over work. I can’t work half way, so I’m gonna have to step away.

He will be missed. For someone who came to the standup comedy only recently, he had tremendous enthusiasm and appreciate for the art and the business.

Hey, is that Larry? (Inside message to George that only he will understand!)

Don’t read this Hollywood Reporter article if you’re eating. It’s by Andrew Wallenstein and it’s all about HBOlab, described as…:

…an unlikely off-the-radar experiment under way for nearly a year now at Time Warner’s prize programmer. With an 11-member unit willing to try just about anything online, the TV industry’s prime mover is finding its footing in the amorphous world of digital media. And if you mistake any of them for the rabble on YouTube, you’re excused– that’s where some of the HBOlab staffers were recruited.

The article is packed with one ridiculous quote after another from Michael Lombardo, president of programming and West Coast operations at HBO and HBOlab manager Danila Koverman. Ridiculous, if they weren’t so creepy and manipulative.

HBO has succumbed to the panic that is spreading over the entire television industry with regard to the internet. Fearful of being eclipsed by the new medium, and desperate to insinuate themselves into the relationship between artist and consumer, they are now setting about trying to figure out ways to duplicate that which has caught the fancy of the web-surfing public and/or utilize the talent and methods of the user-generated community to their advantage. HBOlab is just one grotesque example of this pandering.

“There is a whole different group of artists who work in the digital space,” (Lombardo) said. “They’re not performers in clubs, they’re not pitching scripts and they’re not channeled into the mainstream with agents.”

And…

HBO is not saying how much it is investing in HBOlab, but sources say it’s a pittance, likely less than the expense of one episode of its hourlong dramas like Big Love.

And…

“People who are creative in digital space also have ideas that can work on the traditional television landscape, and that’s exciting,” Lombardo said. “What the right way of cross-pollinating is, we’re not clear, but there’s going to be intersection of some kind.”

Now, hearken back to our July 23 posting, (“Whistling Past the Cyber Graveyard“). We had just spent four days in Montreal and we sensed that television was all confused about how they felt about the internet– they feared it, they praised it, they wanted desperately to make it do their bidding, they sometimes seemed to wish it would all go away. And they sometimes wanted to make everyone think they had it all figured out. We said:

They seem to be focused mainly on re-making the new medium to conform to the old model, with superficial, cynical attention paid to the new conventions. And they seem to think that there are terrible flaws in the new model that only they can remedy.

And we also said:

Rather than play to their strengths, the TV people seem intent on bending the new technology to their will and on transposing the old ways onto the new media. You’ll have, for example, hybrid tv/web execs “creating” organic videos.

There are two things that are particularly irksome about the executives in articles like this one: 1) They seem rather proud of the fact that they’re not spending any serious money on these projects and 2) they seem intent on concocting laughable cover stories about how the projects came about and how they were executed.

One of the HBO execs, “went online and surfed around to find people whose work exhibited potential.” And Koverman says, “We’re trying to ‘run away’ from the traditional Home Box Office brand.” And check out the fantasy that they’ve manufactured concerning the “Seven Minute Sopranos” video! It’s at the end of the article! It’s worth reading the entire piece just to get to that part.

They seem to be going about all this the wrong way. And what is with all this fiction? Are they afraid that their target demo will find out just how establishment their “viral” videos are? Do they think that “artistic purity” will be sacrificed if we find out that the folks who created “Seven Minute Sopranos” cooked up the whole idea while sitting around a bowl of fruit with major HBO executives on the 30th floor of Time-Warner Center?

They tip their hand once in a while. One of the lines is particularly telling, “Scrawled side by side on one white board are ping-pong win tallies opposite Web site traffic statistics.” Try as they might to present the image of rebellious, Silicon-Valley, bohemians, apparently it still comes down to ratings, or in this case, “Web site traffic statistics.”

We’re of the opinion that the folks who create real, honest, heartfelt videos for consumption on the WWW should continue to do so and continue to view it as yet another creative outlet. Ignore the television execs. Ignore the hit counts. Continue to appreciate the tremendous opportunity the WWW offers to produce and distribute your art without the help (or the hindrance) of the gatekeepers that are the major MSM conglomerates. Don’t panic. Because of the technology, the internet is, quite literally, boundless. Try as they might, the studios and the networks can’t crowd out the little guy. And take what the execs say about “user-gen” content with a grain of salt. They seem to be simultaneously in love with it, but they also seem to want to diminish the public’s opinion of it.

And, as long as we pay careful attention to the ongoing Net Neutrality debate, there will continue to be a wild, open space, free of restrictions and free from the dominance of major studios, networks and others.

You’ve been buzzed.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Comedy Central is launching “a pro-social campaign encouraging viewers to be more environmentally savvy,” which will “make viewers aware of their environmental impact and give them ideas on how to reduce it, specifically regarding proper disposal of such items as alkaline batteries, motor oil and e-ware like old cell phones.”

Our favorite part is the last paragraph, where we learn that “…the network will put theory into practice with its first carbon neutral production, the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.”

On the occasion of the naming of Drew Carey as host of The Price is Right and the debut of the Carey-hosted Power of 10 (to sparkling Nielsen numbers), Time asked him 10 Questions, one of which was whether Carey would still perform live as a standup comic.

Absolutely. Especially now that I am on TV, and I can charge more money. [Laughs.] Hopefully during breaks and in the summer, I can do a couple of tours. After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

Emphasis ours.

A NYT blog post by Stephen J. Dubner, one of the co-authors of “Freakonomics” tells of his encounter with a standup comic Greg Schwem.

We won’t spoil the surprise, but we will tell you that it’s a great story that reflects well on both participants, and it’s called “The Most Embarrassing Thing I’ve Done This Millennium.”

Pay attention to some of the reactions to the story in the readers’ comments below the posting. Many of them are merely complaining about the new method used by the Times for posting blogs and some navigation difficulties that readers are having. Some of them, however, are indicative of a deep-seated hostility toward comics and/or a general meanness among some Times readers.

We’re also pleased to alert our readers (in case they hadn’t read it somewhere else) that the NYT is going to free up its online content and stop charging. Their premium model apparently didn’t work. Many NYT writers were concerned that the pay system was drastically cutting down their circulation!

Once again, our spies were correct.

Matt Kirshen did indeed beat Debra Di Giovanni in the head-to-head competition.

First, the recap of last week’s show.

Even though the contestants get to watch the head-to-head competition on a large-screen TV backstage, the feed is cut when the winner is announced. The Reality TV reasoning behind this maneuver it to show the surprise, or, in some cases shock, when the victor eventually pokes through the curtain. Of course, comics aren’t as emotional as car-winning Oprah audience members so the moment was– and always will be– anti-climatic.

(Such was the case when, in the recap, Ralph Harris appeared after his victory, Harris was thrilled… in a comic kind of way. He gave the greatest insight into the mind of a comedian when he said, “Let’s eat.” If the producers really want to make the comics happy, a buffet would be set up backstage. Or at least the winner would get a $1,000 Capital One No Hassle Card and a ready-to-eat smoked turkey.)

Now, this week’s competition.

The Last Jester Standing… where do we begin? Dress up like a court jester and do 90 seconds of medieval jokes while performing in the round. Isn’t this the stuff of a recurring nightmare? Two comics battle it out in the dirt arena; the crowd displays their favorite using colored flags; the loser is led off by Death. The winners compete in yet another medieval round. Eventually the winner gets immunity. Jon Reep was the immune one. And do it all with material written with Medieval-type material. By round two, the comics were merely substituting “thee” for “you” and merely re-writing tested material to barely suit the ground rules!

Not that we doubted our sources for a nanosecond, but we did almost shit our silky Jester pants when Deb beat Matt by three flags earlier in the show. (Yes, we watched the show wearing matching Renaissance garb. Didn’t everybody?)

According to Bellamy Bill, the 55 to 45 per cent audience vote for Kirshen was the “closest in Last Comic Standing history.” Apparently, flags don’t count.

Deb cried. Matt smiled. Matt but might have also been crying– it’s hard to tell since he’s always smiling.

Benson said it best, “Out of nowwhere, somebody could say, ‘Put on a dumb costume and look like an idiot.” And yes, Doug, you did look like a Court Jester Tranny.

We want to adopt Doug Benson. (Only because we can’t think of another way of having him around our house all the time without it looking weird.)

Harris did poorly. He goofed up during his set and lost his place. Gerry Dee, however, did so badly, he got booed by all 1,100 in attendance! Dee must have been surprised that he went up on front of a medieval dinner theater and got scorched like he was at an Opie & Anthony show! He should have gone “Bill Burr” on their medieval asses! The subsequent pirated YouTube vid would be up to 70,000 hits by now.

Prior to the challenge, the lucky LCS’ers were treated to a bountiful Medieval Feast– oversized bread, turkey legs the size of Barry Bond’s post-steroid arms, grapes the size of Barry Bond’s post steroid testicles– and since it was all Medieval and stuff, the food was consumed without the aid of modern day utensils.

Comics stay at comedy condos. We’re accustomed to eating food without the aid of modern day utensils. Hell, we could have cooked that entire meal with just a broken spatula and a melted spoon.

The challenge portion saw two comics– Reep and Kirshen– saying they were funnier than DiGiovanni. Since Reep had the immunity, the evening’s match was set. BTW: The voting portion of the challenge portion was staged in the Torture Museum of the Medieval Times Dinner Theatre. As if the preceding competition wasn’t tortuous enough. Benson’s drollery was once again a highlight of the show– “This costume was the worst thing that ever happened to me… and I sat through the movie, ‘Wild Hogs’!” and, on the subject of the prospect of being tapped for the challenge, “I won’t mind, because I can do my act in normal clothes!”

Pet Peeve: Bellamy Bill flunks Emcee 101– When DiGiovanni came out onstage in the challenge portion, Bellamy handed her the mike, instead of replacing it in the mike stand!

Why was there no teaser for next week’s episode? The show ended, then went straight into Dateline NBC, with the guy who lures hapless pedophiles into on-camera stings! Perhaps next episode’s challenge is to write five minutes of material designed to lure a 14-girl into a bus stop in Burbank. The winner will gain a no-hassle pass in the next round! Talk about a test of a comic’s writing skills!

She is described in the obituary in the Post-Intelligencer as “the den mother for Seattle’s comics.”

“She was the first real comedy producer/promoter in Seattle,” said Ronald S. “Ron Reid” Brown, her husband and regional manager of Comedy Underground. “She created all this opportunity for people not only to practice their comedy, but to get paid for it.”

In lieu of flowers, Crocker’s family asks that donations be made to Equine Rescue Association, 2415 116th St. N.E., Marysville, WA 98271.

A memorial is planned Sept. 9 at the family’s home in north Seattle.

This NYT article explains exactly what it is the folks at TheDailyReel.com hope to do:

This month, The Daily Reel, a Web site devoted to online filmmakers and Internet video, introduced a social networking section called ReeledIn. Membership is free and open, although the site’s creators intend to reach a more specific audience than the masses on powerhouse sites like MySpace and YouTube.

Daily Reel chief Jeff Stern gets to the heart of the distinction between his site and other, seemingly similar sites: “Most online video sites are targeted to watchers. Our audience is the activists, the doers.”

The site’s main goal is to help users meet other content creators who are at least semi-serious about their videos-— and to help improve, and legitimize, their work.

The Female Half reports that in her capacity as an UsWeekly Fashion Police, “it’s always an extra thrill when she gets to make fun of the people who make fun of other people for a living.”

Like the time she got to “go negative” on the questionable fashion choices of Kathy Griffin. Or, as in the current issue of Us on the stands this week, she gets to bust on Perez Hilton! (How can you miss the photo at left?)

Fun, because you assume that they certainly must have a sense of humor about themselves. At least it is hoped. (A recent attempt to get Griffin to autograph our copy of Griffin’s appearance in FashPo– with The Female Half’s comments!– was rebuffed. Griffin’s people returned the mag, unsigned, to the desk at the Borgata!)

Hilton’s blog recently told of the allegedly drunken blogging of Roseanne Barr (Samples included, you may hafta scroll down a page or two!) Barr later issued a statement saying that “an intern” was responsible for the rambling posts. Nice! From now on, if we post anything here that we later regret, we’ll blame it on the intern… who has been dismissed!

Go here to see just a small portion of the week’s Fashion Police, with archives!

We can at least agree that Councilwoman Darlene Mealy of Brooklyn is finding it difficult to fill her days. How else to explain her recent effort to introduce a measure against the use of the word “bitch.”

As reported in the NYT, Mealy says it creates “a paradigm of shame and indignity” for all women.

The measure, which 19 of the 51 council members have signed onto, was prompted in part by the frequent use of the word in hip-hop music. Ten rappers were cited in the legislation, along with an excerpt from an 1811 dictionary that defined the word as &qujot;A she dog, or doggess; the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman.”

Leaving aside the fact that our new favorite word around SHECKYmag HQ is “doggess,” we are stunned by this latest piece of legislation.

…Mealy acknowledged that the measure was unenforceable, but she argued that it would carry symbolic power against the pejorative uses of the word. Even so, a number of New Yorkers said they were taken aback by the idea of prohibiting a term that they not only use, but do so with relish and affection.

Even if you acknowledge that your action was largely symbolic, why would you do it, knowing how utterly unconstitutional, unenforceable, undemocratic, un-American it is? Are there not better ways of symbolically registering your disgust with the popular use of a word that some find offensive?

Back at the West Village piano bar on Sunday evening, Poppi Kramer had just finished up her cabaret set. She scoffed at the proposal. “I’m a stand-up comic. You may as well just say to me, don’t even use the word ‘the.'”

This article in the Scotsman is about a group of Dutch comics performing at the Fringe, some of whom were associates of Theo Van Gogh, the movie director who was nearly decapitated by a Dutch Moroccan Muslim.

Van Gogh’s murder stunned the Netherlands and its comedy fraternity. He was a regular at Club Toomler in Amsterdam, which has fostered many of the biggest names in Dutch comedy, and a close friend of Hans Teeuwen, the leading comedian, director and actor, now in Edinburgh for the Fringe. The day before Van Gogh’s funeral, the comedy club held a remembrance ceremony.

Hans Teeuwen, Raoul Heertje, Marc Marie Huijbregts and Theo Maassen are among those performing in showcases produced by Brian Hennigan.

The Amsterdam Comedy Collective is running three or four of its team per night at the Fringe. Stand-up is relatively new in Holland, and the performers now in Edinburgh were instrumental in its birth. “The main goal is getting to see how well they do in English,” says Xander Wassenaar, of ComedyTrain, the Dutch stand-up collective based at Toomler. “Their role models are basically English or American comedians and it’s fun to see if your own comedy stands up to that. People like Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Billy Connolly, Andy Kaufman.”

The piece is also a short history of standup in the Netherlands. Many Dutch speak English and a good number of American comics have been well-received there. (We recognize Heertje’s name– he was an early reader of SHECKYmagazine.com and we seem to recall corresponding with him in 1999!)

From the MySpace blog of Seattle’s Mainstage Comedy Club, in a posting entitled “Press Kits in our Digital Age”:

Just a quick update on press kits:

Mainstage will only book comics who submit their press kits digitally – starting August 15th.

If we do not have a digital press kit on file, we will not consider booking you.

A digital press kit consists of a headshot (with sufficient dpi for our posters, newsletter, and any print we decide to do), a bio which includes well-written information about your act, your credits, your website/myspace info, a link to footage of you, and up-to-date contact information which includes your email and cellphone number.

If your press kit is your myspace page, please cobble the aforementioned info into a document for emailing. Please check for spelling and gramatical errors. All digital press kits should be sent to:

dorothy (at) mainstagecomedy.com – Dorothy is NOT handling the booking, so please refrain from contacting her about it.

We are making this change in an effort to streamline our marketing. If you have already submitted your press kit by mail, please re-submit it digitally.

Please restrict your phone and email inquiries about getting booked. More than two inquiries will be frowned upon.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Note: The word “grammatical” is spelled wrong! (It wasn’t our error!)

But seriously, folks– The comedy business has been drifting toward this for some time now. We’ve been prepared! (In fact, when the call went out last week, via a MySpace bulletin, we were the first ones to respond!) We’ve been sending out our acts on some sort of disc for a while (.mpg on a CD starting in ’03, DVD for the past 18 months or so). And we’ve been offering our promo materials (headshots, bio, resume, other clips) via a web page for so long that, initially, hardly anyone was technically savvy enough to take advantage! But folks are catching up. And with YouTube and other technical advances (and the price drop for so many fancy gadgets like DVD burners and printers that print directly on to the back of a disc), it’s easier and cheaper to make a high-quality, eye-catching product for promotion or sale.

If anyone would like to check out our Electronic Press Kit (Ooooh!), click here. If you’re a club owner, we’ll be happy to furnish a hard copy on request, complete with sizzling demo DVD and color headshots.

Also: Check out The Male Half’s Electronic Corporate Press Kit.

It’s a video blog. A “vlog.”

The folks at WhipItOutComedy.com post about comedy, but do so using video clips. (They recently posted about our new short, “Starting Over,” under the ridiculous title, “Shecky gets sexy!”) They also promote their site with the occasional live show, like the one they have scheduled at the Hollywood Improv on August 30. (You can also befriend them, via MySpace.com)

One disturbing video that has recently been linked to is by a group called Black 20. This one, called “The Middle Show,” which starts with an unnamed guy in a tie, who says, “Have you ever gone to a comedy club, paid your two-drink minimum, and then seen a terrible comic? You feel helpless. You can’t do anything. Well, now it’s time for payback.”

What follows is a series of comedians, shot in a graffiti-besmirched alleyway, who are subjected to a gang of nitwits who pelt the comedians with tomatoes after each tells a lame joke.

We’re not quite sure of the message. The jokes are, to be sure, lame and not well-written or well-delivered. But the abusers who throw the vegetables are also depicted dressing down the hapless comedians and saying things like, “Dude, you told a disgusting, filthy offensive joke!” Or, “You told a joke about cancer… My mother had cancer!”

So, while the object of their wrath seems to be “bad comedians,” they also seem to be championing the cause of clueless audience members who offend too easily. Or are they mocking the audience members and bad comics at the same time? Is that even possible? Aren’t we supposed to be opposed to that kind of audience member? Aren’t we supposed to be defending comics against the kind of lunkhead who might be tempted to toss something– anything– at a comedian, no matter how “bad” he or she is? To say that a mixed message is being sent would be an understatement.

Or are we not getting the joke? Is that our shortcoming? Or is the video so poorly executed that a reasonable person can’t tell?

Gina Yashere has found an effective way to make things right. After her elimination from Last Comic Standing, she has posted on the experience on her MySpace blog. She takes part of the blame for her ouster– she admits to poor reality TV strategy when it came to the elimination challenge. But she also laments the ham-handed editing of her set by the show’s producers.

Well I can assure you, there were many great jokes in my set, which somehow didn’t make it to the TV show…

I did a great show on the night, and got several applause breaks, and even after getting booted, I look back and don’t for one second, regret my choice of material, coz I know I smashed it!

It’s just that Ralph smashed it too.

Just to prove my point, below is a clip of me performing the EXACT same joke, at a comedy club in California.

And the YouTube clip follows! Failing on network television need not be the totally humiliating experience it once was! Cybervindication has never been easier!

Read the rest of her blog posting here.

And speaking of setting the record straight, two video clips related to the Doug Benson/Dante Heckler Challenge throw down are linked from a posting on ASpecialThing.

EDITORS NOTE: In an earlier version of this post, we erroneously reported that Benson himself posted the links on AST. The posting that links to the YouTube clips from LCS was authored by JKwac, a regular contributor to the AST message board. We should have known it wasn’t posted by Benson, as all LCS contestants are contractually prohibited from commenting on the show while they’re still contestants. The clips in question were uploaded to YouTube by someone who runs CheeseSays.com, a blog about Reality Television. We apologize for any confusion.

The clips do two things: They fill in all the folks on the east coast who missed his thrashing of Dante during the Heckler Challenge (due to the interruption of Keith Olbermann) and they address the scurrilous accusation that his treatment of Dante was less than honorable. See clip one, Benson handling Dante. And, if you need context, watch Dante being heckled by Benson.

Is there too much standup at the Edinburgh Fringe? An article in the UK Guardian ponders the question. Once upon a time, it was all about uncovering and discovering obscure, experimental and daring theater, but…

…its integrity has disappeared as commercialism reigns, personified by big-name performers familiar from TV, such as Jimmy Carr, Ricky Gervais and Frank Skinner. That, at least, is the complaint from those who believe that household name comedy is drowning out more pioneering art.

The very fact that anyone would even raise the question is ridiculous. For the past three years, the number of standup shows offered among the Fringe’s 2,000 presentations has increased from 435 to 566 to this year’s 630. And, from all reports, it’s not a zero-sum game– as the number of comedy shows has exploded, so has the Fringe in general.

And steps have been taken to ensure that “integrity” remains.

For instance, new Fringe director Jon Morgan, has high praise for the biennial British Council theatre showcase. It was concocted ten years ago to promote some of the projects that people see as threatened by the proliferation of such vulgarity as standup comedy. “The British Council logo next to an entry in a festival brochure is seen as a mark of quality,” says Guardian arts correspondent Charlotte Higgins.

She follows this up with:

This year the showcase includes Low Life, a puppet show about “the lives of action-hero plumbers”; SuperJumbo, in which performer Richard DeDomenici recreates an Airbus 380 inside a flat; and Etiquette, in which the audience of just two become the performers, as they sit together in a cafe responding to instructions given to them via headphones.

Do you suppose that anyone would know or care about the Fringe if there were no standup? Do you suppose that the Fringe would have grown exponentially if it only offered a steady diet of action-hero plumber puppets and ponderous installations such as SuperJumbo? We’re confident that it would not.

It is worth making the distinction between the Edinburgh International Festival and the Fringe. The Fringe is more grass-rootsy than the Edinburgh International. The International started 70 years ago, the Fringe some time after that. The Fringe is, for the most part, a less elitist, more ragtag collection of artists who are financing their projects and hoping to eventualy be incoporated into the larger, older, more respected International. The Fringe, from all accounts, is wildly successful, well-attended and known far and wide as a place to garner attention. The International is a bloated, highbrow charity case that’s several million pounds in debt.

The last thing they should do is complain about standup comedy, as it seems that’s what people want.

In November of 2003, we re-ran a piece that originally ran in the Scotsman, by comedian Brian Hennigan. (We rarely re-run anything, but, in this case, we made an exception.) In it, he eloquently makes the case that standup has for too long been discounted, and that the Edinburgh establishment ignores or marginalized standup at its own peril.

As someone who spends a lot of time in comedic contemplation, one can only see so many plays, watch so much contemporary dance, and read so much cutting-edge fiction without feeling that standup comedy receives scant regard as an art form. There is no good reason for this. Comedy, once frowned on, is a long accepted artistic genre. In terms of recognising that standup comedy has come of age, it is about time the Edinburgh International Festival gave thought to its inclusion within the range of artistic disciplines that it celebrates.

Read the entire column here.

NBC announced the renewal of Last Comic Standing for a sixth season. The live, two-hour finale for this season will air September 19. Bellamy Bill will be back next season.

We came across an essay on a site called 2 Blowhards, “a group of graying eternal amateurs discuss their passions, interests and obsessions.” In it, “Michael Blowhard” (his name, not ours) kicks around the concept of “audience sense.”

What is it? An audience sense isn’t quite the same thing as moviemaking (or acting, or technical) talent. Instead, it’s an ability to sense how people are reacting to you and to what you’re doing. Instinct and imagination seem to be involved. So does empathy: How else can someone so involved in attracting and commanding attention spare a few watts for how the show is being experienced by others?

Are the people with the most acute audience sense– with the greatest ability to inhabit the moment from the inside while also observing it objectively and opportunistically from the outside — standup comedians? When a standup act is really rockin’, after all, the comedian can seem to be igniting firecrackers that are lying in wait in pockets of your brain and spirit.

The occasion for pondering the notion of audience sense is a recent viewing of Paul Schrader’s “Auto Focus.” Blowhard seems ambivalent about audience sense. On one hand, a director must have it and some of the greatest undeniably posses it. On the other hand, it’s “a cheap, low thing,” and the artist who calls upon it might just be utterly lacking in “art-purity.”

Which, of course, got us to talking about it with regard to standup. This discussion goes on all the time– in the pages of this publication and elsewhere– what differs is the vocabulary, the buzzwords. We’re inclined to believe that all comedians have (indeed, must have) this sense. We further believe that having it in spades doesn’t automatically mean that the artist is pandering or that, conversely, the artist that has no audience sense is somehow closer to the aforementioned “art-purity.” Conversely, it is rather ridiculous that a comic– any comic– would have no audience sense and that any comic who purports to have none is, in actuality, pandering– to the media, to critics, to his/her narrow sliver of audience. (But, to quote Dom Irrera, “We don’t mean that in a bad way.”)

We’re puzzled by the inexplicably popular notion that those who nakedly seek to elicit laughter are not true comedy artists. When did laughter acquire dirty-word status when it comes to standup? Can’t we all agree that we are the only group of artists that have a singular goal– in our case, to get laughs? And that, if your intent is not, ultimately, to make people laugh, you really can’t call yourself a comic? (Keep in mind the distinction between result and intent.)

How did we arrive at a place where, if you openly state that your goal is to make people laugh, you are somehow less of an artist? How did it come about that the comic who implies (or even, in some cases, explicitly states) that his ultimate goal is not to invoke laughter is regarded as the true artist? Welcome to the upside down world of standup comedy.

There are comedians who regularly claim that performers who are streamlined and rather forthright in their approach to standup are not “acting in strict accordance with expressive need, intellectual brilliance, or aesthetic theory” and are therefore automatically pandering. And that an oblique approach to the art is somehow more virtuous.

The plain fact is that there is (and should be) plenty of disagreement as to how to approach standup comedy. But there should be no disagreement as to the ultimate goal– to get laughs. Whenever we point this out, we get attacked by certain sectors who seem to think we’re motivated by jealousy or who attack personally, ascribing our actions and beliefs to the fact that we’re “failed middles” or megalomaniacal internet publishers, hellbent on laying down the comedy law.

We’ve heard every type of criticism. We express disgust with this statement or that project, we get an email that tells us we’re “too liberal.” We go off on a rant about this agency or that institution, we’re branded by some as having veered to the conservative side. The truth lies somewhere in between. We found a definition somewhere that said that libertarianism holds that “all persons are the absolute owners of their own lives, and should be free to do whatever they wish with their persons or property, provided they allow others the same liberty.” If you absolutely must label us, it would appear that we’re comedy libertarians.

From an anonymous source, we hear that, on this Wednesday’s episode, Matt Kirshen goes head-to-head against Debra DiGiovanni and Kirshen wins.

We don’t know if this is what actually will happen, but we have only been wrong once… and that was last season. And we were only wrong about the identity of one comic in the initial round. So far, our record this season is impeccable.

We’ll be watching and, about ninety minutes later, we’ll upload our analysis!

We think. There’s a ticker on the site and there’s also something that says it ends Saturday at 12 PM EST. Odd, since we’re on daylight these days. Hmmm…

Anyway, the above link takes you directly to the comedy contest page on Famecast. We’re not 100 per cent sure what Famecast is, but it’s some sort of sprawling, TV-internet hybrid that hosts video and pays strict attention to entertainment.

Brandon Walsh, Tom Franck, Tony Valle, Lamont Ferguson and Steve Hofstetter are the final five, having been whittled down from (we think) 50 comics. They started taking video April 23! That’s 103 days from submission to the end of voting, if our math is correct! It’s a marathon!

They’re already talking about Season 3, and accepting submissions. We suppose this season will end sometime in early November, but we could be mistaken.

Be forewarned, there’s talk on the net that it’s a bitch to register to vote. But if you view the vids and you want to help out one of the comics, you’ll grit your teeth and do it.

We take a dim view of online video contests (not just because we were eliminated in a matter of nanoseconds on NextBigStar.com a few years back!), because the quality is usually pretty poor and the contest is often just as much about browbeating friends into voting as it is about standup. In this case, however, the quality of the finals video is pretty slick and the number of votes seems rather large. (Watch the intro by hostess Emmy Robbin– she punctuates every other sentence with a little Jerry Espenson-style hop which alternates between endearing, annoying and fascinating.)

Our spies were correct. When we posted about this episode on July 24, we correctly predicted the outcome of tonight’s showdown. Dante, Gina Yahere and Ralph Harris in a three-way showdown, with Harris coming out on top. He got 62 per cent of the audience vote.

No one has slipped us any information about the upcoming competitions/episodes, so we figure they must be tightening up security. Maybe they’ve sequestered entire audiences. Lord knows they’re not spending the production budget on sets or a house or anything else that might make the show interesing.

We’ve been telling folks privately that Ralph is not to be underestimated. We’ve been familiar with Ralph for as long has he’s been doing standup. He could end up in the top three and possibly win the whole thing. With tonight’s set, he’s made sure that no one will dare challenge him again. (Unless they make the mistake of thinking that tonight’s set is all he’s got. Trust us. It ain’t. And it’s probably all TV clean.)

And we were half right when we predicted that the producers would bring back Mel Silverback “in spirit.”

Perhaps they’ll dredge him back up in spirit by concocting a challenge for future episodes– Bellamy Bill will tell the contestants (in a raised voice) “each of you will be forced to do five minutes in the animal costume of his or her choice!”

Well, don’t you know ol’ Mel appeared on this episode driving that awful short yellow bus! That’s right! Mel Silverback was, ostensibly, the man/beast who drove the contestants to the Heckler Challenge at the Ice House in Pasadena (Yeah, right. Mel entered, the contestants shouted their surprise and their hello’s and then he was gone. Our favorite part was that they superimposed “Mel Silverback, 14 years doing comedy” over his chest, then they showed him driving a bus! Chilling!)

And how about that Heckler Challenge?

Firstly, let’s give Doug Benson his props– “My dream has been to get on a short bus with nine other comics, one of whom can’t fit through the door.” He’s hysterical. He’s got the exact right attitude for this thing: No talk of dying relatives, no saving for a kidney transplant, no “mouths to feed” speeches. Just wise guy all the way, with a touch of the absurd and a slight smirk. We wouldn’t want to be on the show without Doug Benson. Perhaps, if this show limps into another season, they should consider making him the host! Let Doug Benson host and let him write his own copy! That’s a good idea. So… naturally, it’s not going to happen. Because this show is all about bad ideas… like the Heckler Challenge!

You know how we feel about the Heckler Challenge. We feel that way even moreso now that we’ve seen it a second time. It’s wrong on so many levels. And not at all entertaining. And, of course, it encourages heckling. It’s a lose/lose/lose.

Dealing with hecklers might be a part of our business, unfortunately. So, it might be understandable why a producer might concoct some sort of contrivance that incorporates heckling into the show. But do they have to make the contestants heckle the other contestants? It’s unseemly! It might be okay to test the comics’ ability to handle one, but why test the comics’ ability to heckle? That’s just sick!

Exactly what is Gerry Dee’s problem? Heckling Dee was Jon Reep. Reep did what was expected and Dee handled the first heckle or two, then went personal! He mimicked Reep– he did a bit or two from Reep’s set earlier in the evening, but in a grotesque, exaggerated manner! He mocked Reep in a way that was unnecessarily focused on Reep, not on Reep playing a heckler.

Lavell Crawford won the Heckler Challenge, thereby making him exempt from challenges in the next phase.

We think we’re funnier than…

…the producers of Last Comic Standing.

Did that Challenge thingie at the end, in the Los Angeles Coliseum look like kee-rap or what? Ten comics, sitting on condo furniture on the 50-yard line of the football field. And they all had to lumber over to a photo booth about 20 yards away to issue their challenge while ominous music played. Scintillating!

And what is with all the hostility toward Dante? It is a mystery to the viewers. We’re shown three of the ten comics saying, “I think I’m funnier than Dante.” And we picked up on some mild mocking of Dante in the banter during some of the brief backstage scenes. And we’re treated to Doug Benson saying, “Who do I want to see lose? I cahn-tay tell you!” (The joke is that Benson pronounced “can’t” to rhyme with Dante.) But, since they’ve taken away The House and they’ve stripped away nearly all the Reality TV aspects of the show, we really aren’t privy to why anyone feels the way they do about their fellow contestants. It’s a formula for frustration. It doesn’t make for very riveting reality television.

The Female Half sustained a minor laceration to her lower left calf as she leapt from the lounge chair when they showed the teaser for next week’s challenge! That’s just how bad it looks to be– “Tune in next week when the contestants…DRESS UP LIKE IDIOTS!” Their exact words. They’re making the comics dress up like court jesters and go out and perform in the middle of the dirt ring at the center of a medieval dinner theater. That’s right. We’ll repeat it.

They’re making the comics dress up like court jesters and go out and perform the middle of the dirt ring at the center of a medieval dinner theater.

It has never been clearer that the producers of this show lack imagination, a sense of humor and any appreciation for standup comedy as an art form and standup comics as performers.

We jokingly suggested last week that they might make the comics dress up like animals and do material as that creature. Sadly, we fear that we weren’t that far off.

If we get through this season without the comics being forced to perform at a nudist camp, we’ll be surprised. Or perhaps they’ll be marched, blindfolded, into a biker bar to perform on Cream Pie Night. Can a set at San Quentin be in the works?

As repulsive as the Heckler Challenge might be, we’re still going to hold our noses and watch tonight’s installment of Last Comic Standing, airing from 9 PM to 10 PM EDT. Look for our bilious commentary to appear some time later.

In case you’d forgotten, Just For Laughs had a mini-Fest in Toronto for three days after their monster one in Montreal. According to the account in Variety, it was a raging success, but not without a hitch or two:

Unlike the Montreal streets, where organizers have traditionally shied away from standup comedy so as not to alienate either French or English spectators, in English-speaking Toronto the core of the main stage at the outdoor events was standup.

Some of the acts let rip, with the blue material of Italian-Canadian parody/musical duo The Doo Wops in particular raising some eyebrows in the crowd, which included children of all ages.

Though there have been no complaints, Hills said that in the future acts will be asked to tone it down in public places. “Halfway through that concert I was already dealing with that one for next year,” he said.

Comedy outdoors. Never a good idea. Not even under the best circumstances. Most of the indoor shows sold out.

And in other Canadian news, the London Free Press had an article about the nominees for the Canadian Comedy Awards.

The CBC TV series Royal Canadian Air Farce received five nominations, including best male performance for political satirist Alan Park. He’s also up for best male stand-up comedian against Mike Wilmot, Peter Kelamis, Steve Patterson and Gerry Dee.

Also nominated are Debra DiGiovanni, Erica Sigurdson, Kate Davis, Kristeen von Hagen and Nikki Payne. The winners will be revealed on October 12. London (the Canadian town, not the British town) will host for the fifth year in a row, with showcases, a comedy industry conference and galas, October 9-13.

At 5:52 pm EDT, Rayna Lynn Vos entered the world, weighing 6 lbs, 10.8 oz. Her parents, Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane, are comedians. What little we know came from a terse MySpace bulletin sent out by the proud father at 6:10 PM. (We assume that our “Missed Call” from “Restricted” at 7:53 PM was an attempt by Vos to provide us with further details– the color of the baby upon arrival, the condition of the mother, the number of death threats made by the mother directed at the father during labor, etc.)

We congratulate them!

We’re chugging toward our second ever Million Hit Month. That’s right– July 2007 and March 2007 will surpass the million-hit mark. We’re hoping that it becomes a regular occurence. (With the way things have usually progressed around here, it will.)

Over the course of the past month there are two items that might have escaped your attention due to the timing of the post. The first is Bill Bunker’s latest column. It’s Bunker’s fifth column for us. He writes of that “curious mix of emotions (elation, dread, hope), the inexplicable drive that keeps us pursuing the comedy thing even through the bad experiences.” And, if you missed it the first time, please check it out again. (And, just like nearly everything else that we run, it’s worth a second reading as well!)

Also: Our most recent short film is up on YouTube. It’s called “Starting Over” and it’s here. It’s only seven minutes and change, but it’s quite entertaining. (Link fixed at 10:07 AM EDT, JULY 31– Editors)

And, if you’re wondering where our coverage of this year’s Just For Laughs Festival is, just scroll down. (We haven’t gotten around to bundling all the posts into one neat file yet. We will soon.)

This phrase rears its ugly head again. We seem to recall it popping up in the mid-90s, shortly after the bust.

This time, it’s in Mason Lerner’s Houston Chronicle story (“The Laff Stop’s owner is vying for laughs with a deep-pocketed, nationally franchised chain”) that examines the dilemma of Jeff McFerrin, who purchased Houston’s Laff Stop the same year the Improv moved into town.

The Improv is not the only competition McFerrin faces. Since its opening, a host of stand-up comedy clubs have come and gone, with some like the Laff Spot Comedy Cafe and Comedy Showcase surviving and doing well.

And that’s not to mention the many bars and hotels that regularly host comedy nights.

“What we had was a diluted comic pool. We were both going after the same comics,” McFerrin said of the Improv. “And then there is the Verizon Wireless Theater and other venues like that, which were telling comics they could make as much for one show as we could pay them for six shows. So that is the No. 1 challenge.”

Lerner could have stopped right there and had himself a tidy David and Goliath story. Instead, he solicits the opinion of Cap City Comedy Club GM Margie Coyle, who offers sane, sensible advice on how to differentiate the product, how to adapt to the changing landscape.

As for the challenge of competing for top acts, she said, McFerrin definitely has his work cut out for him. But it can be done.

“That’s a tough one. You just have to take your knocks and keep plugging away. One thing about this business is that there is a lot of talent out there. If they can’t get certain acts, then they go after other acts. Maybe they are lesser known, but there is plenty of talent out there,” Coyle said.

She added that the Laff Stop will also have to offer better service and a better atmosphere.

Coyle said there can even be advantages to featuring lesser-known comics.

But she said that will only work if McFerrin is always on his toes when it comes to marketing and promotion.

“The big names are not cheap,” she said. “They take a large percentage of the door. If you can get crafty at getting people into the club for your moderate-range-priced talent, you’re doing about the same on your own.”

As two people who are currently in the “moderate-range-priced talent” category, we much prefer Ms. Coyle’s approach. We’ve never tried to get into the Stop, so we’re not sure how McFerrin goes about the task of finding talent. But, we’ve all too often run into club owners and GMs who flat out say that they don’t look at tapes. And we don’t see them at festivals. And rare is the owner/GM who relies on the word of a trusted comic who recommends a fellow performer. So, we wonder, how ever do they expect to find the “moderate-range-priced talent” that might hold the key to their survival?

Coyle is correct, though, when she says that there is “plenty of talent out there.” Much of it with 20 years (or more) of experience and with finely honed acts that play well to most/all geographic regions and to a wide demographic. And, with the internet, YouTube, MySpace and DVDs, it has never been easier for the McFerrins of the world to connect with that talent. Start here.

Way back on June 13, we posted the following, toward the end of our LCS Episode 1 analysis:

(We predict that our stats will be filled with google searches for “Mel Silverback” He’ll make one of the larger cyber-splashes. Of course, a good number of them will be for “Mel Silverberg,” from people who don’t get half the joke…)

We noticed one yesterday– a Google search using “Mel Silverberg.” We’ve gotten a half-dozen or so in the last week. We assume we’ve gotten many more in the past month. We’ve been way too busy to check our stats that closely.

He’s made a big impact, at least in cyberspace. Knowing the way network executives think, and knowing that they are no doubt watching with great interest the premiere of the Caveman series at rival network ABC, some folks at NBC probably had visions of pitching a gorilla-out-of-water series.

But they ditched him last episode, so he’s off the show. And they can’t bring him back. (Sure, sure, they brought back comics in Season II, but that was when they had a house. No such device exists this year.)

Perhaps they’ll dredge him back up in spirit by concocting a challenge for future episodes– Bellamy Bill will tell the contestants (in a raised voice) “each of you will be forced to do five minutes in the animal costume of his or her choice!” This would give the network plenty of other potential series pitches– Dog Rickles (Sure, it sounds a lot like Triumph, but, in television, imitation is the sincerest form of revenue!), Mort Sahl-amander (The acerbic lizard who’s performed for six presidents!), Whoopi Goldfish. (Stop us before we write any more bad jokes. You get the idea.)

Just for the record, Wikipedia says:

A silverback is an adult male gorilla, typically more than 12 years of age and named for the distinctive patch of silver hair on his back.

It was Monday, so it might be considered old news. But, since Michael Vick appeared in court today to answer federal charges that he was involved in a dog fighting conspiracy on property he owns in rural Surry County, VA, Drew Carey’s statement on Late Show is relevant once again.

After announcing that he and his representatives had just signed the deal for Carey to host the CBS-produced game show The Price is Right, the Cleveland native said that, although he was a huge Cleveland Browns fan, if the NFL lets Michael Vick play this season, he won’t watch one minute of NFL football. The crowd erupted.

It took some guts for Carey to make such a statement– CBS has a deal, worth hundreds of millions of dollars to broadcast some of the league’s games. And he said it all on a CBS television show. Les Moonves must be purple with rage.

Of course, Vick has pleaded innocent, and is, of course, innocent until proven guilty, but folks don’t take too kindly to people who are even peripherally involved in a group of people who would hose down a dog then electrocute it to death. (One of the many charges in Subsection 83 of the feds’ 18-page indictment.)

If you think the anti-Vick sentiment is high now, wait until video is “leaked” to YouTube.

The Ziddio people have ironed out their tech difficulties. Go here for details and scheduled local and regional competitions.

According to Variety, Last Comic Standing is pulling decent numbers:

The Peacock was also solid Wednesday with “Last Comic Standing” (2.6/8 in 18-49, 6.39m) and “Dateline” (3.1/9, 7.17m), which featured the newsmag’s popular “To Catch a Predator” feature. And though it didn’t do gangbuster numbers, Monday spec “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America” won its timeslot (2.2/7 in 18-49, 5.05m).

So, it looks like they won’t feel forced to “Bodden” anyone.

Also: If you seek another take on this season’s LCS, comedian Jay Black, who lives only two towns over from SHECKYmagazine HQ, is guest-blogging for TVSquad.com here. He’s remarkably even-tempered in his assessment of the show, considering he and his wife just welcomed a baby into the Black home on Sunday!

“The ever-funny Mr. Ant!” is how Bellamy Bill introduced Celebrity Talent Scout Ant. He described Alonzo Bodden as “hilarious and funny.” (Aren’t the same thing?) He introduced Kathleen Madigan as “sassy.” We don’t think of Kathleen as sassy. We can think of many positive adjectives for her, but sassy is not one of them. Bellamy Bill is not cut out for this. They should have stopped the taping and re-done the intros.

And he really should get some sort of Master of Ceremonies Thesaurus and figure out new and fresh ways of saying, “Let’s give it up…” Bellamy Bill: How about you give up “Let’s give it up!” May we suggest, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…” Anything would be better.

No emcee on a network show should ask the audience, “Are you ready for some crazy shit?” They hadda bleep the host? What’s up with that? Not even Joe Rogan ever did that.

Can anyone explain why Tom Arnold is in the house? Anyone? Can Arnold even give a plausible explanation for why he was there? Oh, sure, he got a paycheck, but that is not so much an explanation for his presence as it was an incentive for him to be there, so we’re still not sure why he was there. A cardboard cutout would have functioned as well. There were people in the audience who got more face time than Arnold did.

And speaking of people in the audience, we spotted a couple of people that we saw all last week in Montreal… must’ve been agents or managers. And, speaking of Montreal, we neglected to mention two of the 32 who were at the JFL Festival– Deb DiGiovanni, who made it into the top ten in last week’s episode and Amy Schumer, who made it in from this week’s batch.

In doing some research and tooling around the archives of our site today, we re-read some of our coverage of LCS from last year. Boy, oh, boy, were we pissed! We ripped into a comic or two and we were generally very worked up about the contest as it unfolded last year. This year, however, we just can’t seem to get all that worked up about it. What’s different? Is it us? Or does this year’s LCS seem… flat?

And we’re somewhat deflated because, we just watched a show with performances by 16 comedians and we were stunned at how little we laughed. Some of it is because of time constraints, editing, material choice and the natural limitations of network television. Some of it is just because of our personal preferences– some comics just don’t ring our bell. That’s not a bad thing, not a good thing, it’s just a thing. But some of the comics, that we know– firsthand– are funny, and who usually make us laugh… didn’t make us laugh. We laughed four times, at four different comics. (And, coincidentally, those four didn’t make it to the next round.)

Those numbers should be reversed– we should have found a dozen or more comics to be entertaining and maybe not have been tickled by a handful. What should have been a knee-slapping hour of television was instead a stodgy, unimaginative, dull slog. Not the greatest commercial for standup comedy. (It was not unlike watching Real Sex on HBO, a show that is ostensibly about sex, but which contains not one single erotic moment. Ever.) How have they accomplished this? Is it the comics’ fault? It can’t be. We have seen many of these comics be much funnier– on TV and live.

And things don’t look to be improving any– we saw the teaser for the next episode and the producers have brought back perhaps the most odious challenge from a previous season, the heckler challenge. Could there be a more degrading thing, for both the heckler and the heckled, than to engage in this display? Here’s what we wrote about it last season:

The point of the heckling exercise, says Clark, is to see “who can dish it out and who can take it.” Don’t the clubs have bouncers that pretty much make this point moot? At least the better clubs do. Why not just have the comics do a hell gig somewhere in Fresno or Victorville? At least spare the comics from the ignominy of having to heckle another comic. Through this exercise, the contestants run the risk of having the audience view them all as pathetic, desperate individuals, incapable of saying “no” to even the most shameful requests. (Actually, after seeing the heckling challenge, there is no risk. They have demonstrated it quite clearly.) Oh, it’s all in good fun, you say.

Good for Joey Gay for refusing to take the bait for staying silent when asked to heckle April Macie.

We aren’t sure we can watch next week. We might just take the week off. Five more weeks is suddenly starting to seem like forever.

We suppose that the whole reason the show got picked up in the first place was that it was pitched as a reality show. But the tiny bits of “reality” that they wedge in here and there are tedious. In keeping with the look and feel of a reality show, they insert behind-the-scenes stuff that doesn’t serve to heighten the tension or provide insight into the comics or give the viewer a good idea of what it’s like to be a comic. It all just sucks valuable time away from the funny stuff, the actual sets. So, it sucks as a reality show and it sucks as a comedy show. So, to answer Bellamy Bill’s impertinent question, Yes… we are ready for some crazy shit. And we have absolutely no faith that we’re going to get it from this show any time soon.

We noticed that the producers have seen fit to tell us just how long each comic has been doing standup. Just before each was introduced at the theater, a chyron appeared with number years of experience next to the comic’s name. This is reality. It’s interesting to us, and, we must assume, it’s of interest to civilian viewers.

We nearly busted a gut when Sean Rouse said, “Sympathy from a dead relative will get you far on a reality show.” And he said it during his set! A sly observation on the nature of reality shows and a good-natured (we assume) dig at (we assume) friend and fellow comic Ralphie May. Readers may recall that May wept during one of his challenge sets on season one.

Near the end of this episode, when he brought out the top five from this week (Gerry Dee, Jon Reep, Amy Schumer, Matt Kirshen and Capital One Audience Favorite Lavell Crawford), Bellamy Bill said, “Let’s hear it one more time for all our contestants this year and please come out to see them at a comedy club near you.”

That’s a positive thing. The show should be/could be a splendid force for driving people to live performances. And not just by the winner… or the top three… or the top ten. Or not even only for the folks who competed and made it into the top 32. But for comedians in general.

Maybe it will be.

P.S.: For those of your who haven’t hopped on the site for a day or two, there’s a SPOILER ALERT a little further down this page. SO, if you don’t want to know what happens, don’t read it.

Is it just us? Or does this bus bear a vague resemblance to der Fuehrer? Rather unsettling when one looks across the breakfast table to see a bus like this, with the now-ominous words, “NEXT STOP, YOUR HOUSE” on the top!

The bus is part of a promotion by Post, a contest where “You Could Win The Ultimate BREAKFAST BLOCK PARTY For You and 99 of Your Friends!” (Or is that “…For You and 5,999,999 of Your Friends!”)

No comment from the ad company who created the campaign, Batton, Barton, Durstine and Reifenstahl.

Second prize winners receive a copy of the DVD, “The Diary of Anne Frankenberry!”