SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim flanked by John DiCrosta (l) and Paul Bond in the Borgata Comedy Club green room Sunday evening. (Photo credit: Ray Garvey)

In the roundup of Borgata coming attractions, we left out Russell Peters (Jan. 28), Dennis Miller (March 10) and Brian Regan (April 1, one show sold out, second show added at the Events Center). Pretty dense comedy lineup at the Borgata. The Diceman sold out Saturday night. (Nice gig, this Borgata– most weeks, a big name comes in on Saturday and the three comics working during the week get a rare Saturday night off.)

An item in Eye on Vegas:

It would appear that the long rumored implosion of the Tropicana Hotel & Casino is actually nearing realization. Rumors have the Aztar Corporation, owners of the aging property, working with Marnell Corrao Associates to design the potential new property and identifying the costs of such a project. The design firm has helped build several Vegas properties including Wynn Las Vegas and the Rio, which they owned before selling it to Harrah’s Entertainment. Although we have heard no official word, several breadcrumbs left on the trail include a visit to the Tropicana website, which is no longer accepting reservations past April 13th, 2006, and a SEC filing last week that amended severance agreements with senior management.

Just last October, we reported that the word on the street was that the folks at the Trop were told to relax and that the property was safe for three years. Hmmm… Looks like Vegas will be down to two full-time clubs in short order. Then, there’s this:

Furthermore, it was announced that the Klondike Hotel & Casino’s strip location would be shutting its doors after forty-five years of operations. The Klondike is probably best known for its dank interior, $.99 breakfast and $.10 roulette tables. It would seem as though the increasing frequency of these closures would somewhat officially signal the end of the ‘old Las Vegas’. Other ‘old Vegas’ casinos to close their doors in the past several months include the Bourbon Street, the Key Largo and the Westward Ho.

The ‘Dike is dead! Long live the ‘Dike! First the ‘Ho, now THIS?! We resorted to staying at the ‘Dike once or twice (but hadn’t had the pleasure since ’02 or so), lured by the coupon: $29 per night, (not per person!) including two drinks, two dinners, two breakfasts! The incoming jets buzzed the parking lot and the Mandalay Bay was nearly always visible, mocking us. If we find our Klondike photo essay, we’ll run a pic or two when it’s finally razed.

Us Weekly reports that mean old Ryan Seacrest flexed his ever-growing muscles and bumped Kathy Griffin out of her regular red carpet snark dispensing gig.

Hot Stuff has learned that Ryan Seacrest, 31, got comic Kathy Griffin, 44, axed from her hosting gig on E! says a source, “Kathy has been awful to him” in her standup act, so when Seacrest finalized a new deal with the network (worth $21 million over three years) he made sure Griffin got the boot.

Who can blame him? Griffin can’t be surprised. Very few, if any, of the people whom Griffin savages in her act are ever in a position to affect her in any significant way. But, oh, if they ever end up in one, look out. (We can’t figure out the hostility toward Seacrest in the first place. He’s good at what he does. Some folks counter that by saying that, off camera, he’s an a**hole. Well, duh, who in Hollywood isn’t? Or, if they aren’t, who isn’t rumored to be so?)

We’re watching the Globes tonight, waiting for the editors of US Weekly to send us the link to photos of the worst dressed Globe attendees so we can trash them for a special Fashion Police.

And what is with Isaac Mizrahi? He was asking every woman on the carpet if they were wearing underwear! And, he cheekily (and gently) grabbed Scarlett Johansen’s left breast on camera. He’s either the gayest (and therefore the least threatening) man in Hollywood… or the smartest heterosexual man in Hollywood.

Sarah Boothroyd, writing in The Ottawa Citizen (“Ottawa’s humour and politics rarely stand up together”), on the current state of political humor in Canada:

While the number of comics in the capital may be tied to the city’s political character, their humour is not often tied to politics.

“Political comedy is not all that popular any more and hasn’t been for some time,” says Howard Wagman, who opened Yuk Yuk’s in Centretown 21 years ago. “Political humour is a bit one-dimensional. It’s just government bashing. It’s ‘enter name here.'”

Fear not, Howard. Mr. Harper is about to change all that.

An article in the Savannah (GA) Morning News (free reg. req.) contains an account of a recent staging of the VH-1 show Best Week Ever live, in a theater. Sponsored by Savannah College of Art and Design, to a sold-out house, the show featured comedians Aziz Ansari, Danielle Schneider, Mike Britt and Pete Holmes. Our favorite quote?

Fellow student Adam Mendell added, “I was amused. It’s not the funniest I’ve ever seen, but it’s not far off.”

Reporter Amy Morris used this quote to end the article. Ya gotta love them art students. (Don’t take a stick from Mr. Mendell… you don’t know where it’s been.)

The show was divided into two parts. In the first, each comedian did about 10 minutes of standup. Though most of the dialogue can’t be printed in a family newspaper…

The presentation was augmented by video clips and, we’re guessing, the tepid, celeb-bashing comments you’ve come to expect from the 20 or 30 similar shows that have popped up in the last three years or so.

After reading the above, we have a suggestion for the programmers at Comedy Central: How about Premium Blend Live! Stay with us! Four comedians come out and do 25-30 minutes of standup. Dynamite, or what?

Olympia, the young lady who cheerfully checked us in at the front desk of the Borgata apologetically warned us that there might be construction noise, audible from our room from 8 AM to 3 PM. Sure enough, there are a pair of pile drivers, that collaborate on a bizarre percussion riff every so often, visible just outside our 14th floor window. The Borgata has a lot of money jingling in its pocket and they’ve decided to expand their convention space. After that’s done, the word on the street is that they’ll build a second tower to match the first. And the other word on the street is that MGM will break ground on a mega resort next door to this one.

While we were on the treadmill yesterday, the crawl at the bottom of CNN stated that annual A.C. casino revenue for ’06 was up double digits over last year. Things have never been better here in “America’s Playground.” Nor has there ever been more comedy.

Don Gavin, John Knight and Joe Bronzi are at the Comedy Stop at the Trop (at least accordig to their website). Jackie Kashian and Eric Tartaglione are at the Catch A Rising Star at the Resorts Hotel-Casino. (This we know for sure, owing to a visit to the Borgata green room last night by Tartaglione himself.) And The Male Half of the Staff is sharing the bill with John DiCrosta and Paul Bond at the Borgata. Andrew Dice Clay will be here Saturday night and it’s already sold out. That same night, Bill Cosby will be at the House of Blues at the Showboat.

Over the next few weeks, Mario Cantone is coming to the Borgata, as is Bill Maher. Rich Jeni will be a the Trump Marina. And we’re pretty sure we saw a billboard on the way into town heralding the arrival of Comedy You Can’t Refuse,” which, according to their press release, “sprinkles some music in with a heaping helping of comedy, is headlined by Michael Imperioli, who plays Christopher Moltisanti, Steve R. Schirripa (Bobby “Baccala” Baccalieri), Vince Curatola (Johnny “Sack” Sacramoni) and John Ventimiglia (Artie Bucco).”

A CNN-IBN reporter, a vegetarian, is tasked with reporting on the best biryani in NYC, so she brings along the meat-eating and “well-known US comedian” Dan Nainan.

Manhattan’s Murray Hill neighborhood, around Lexington Avenue and 28th street, now has so many Indian restaurants, it’s called Curry Hill. And that’s where CNN-IBN correspondent Indira Kannan headed.

Nainan is described as “part Indian, part American, part Japanese-– a bit like, well, biryani itself.” Nice gig if you can get it. (CNN-IBN, according to their site, offers “robust and high quality news from every corner of India and relevant global news from CNN.”)

Billing it as “the first academic collection of its kind,” Emerson College is introducing the American Comedy Archives. The Boston Herald article says many funny people have graduated from Emerson.

Spearheaded by 1950 Emerson grad and Quincy native Bill Dana, who became famous in the 1950s and ’60s as “chief astronaut, Jose Jimenez,” the project has filmed interviews with dozens of writers, producers and performers who made us laugh in the 20th century.

Philadelphia lost the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame to Cleveland. Now this. What’s left for Philly?

…is bombing in Cleveland, or London, or Mumbai.

It is but a small paragraph in a hefty article (“Manufacturing Laughter” by Dennis D. Muhumuza) in The Daily Monitor, the newspaper of the Ugandan capital of Kampala:

“Comedians are born,” says Kaganda. “As comedians, we bring out the crazy aspects of life in a funny way but sometimes you stand in front of the crowds with your very solid joke and for a minute or two nobody is responding,” says Kemizinga. “You feel like you’ve committed a big crime.”

Comedy in Uganda is influenced by Seinfeld, Rock and Murphy. Read the whole thing.

Discovered this among the AP obits:

CHICAGO (AP)– Allan Johnson, whose career started as a copy clerk and ended as one of only a handful of blacks writing criticism for a major newspaper, has died. He was 46.

Johnson died Friday of complications from a brain hemorrhage at University of Chicago Hospitals, a family spokesman said. He collapsed after attending an event with his wife and had been hospitalized for nearly three weeks.

“He was witty in the most gloriously droll way. And no matter how chaotic the newsroom, he was a rock-solid presence,” said Chicago Tribune editor Ann Marie Lipinski.

Johnson began working at the Tribune in 1979 as a copy clerk. His byline first appeared in the Tribune’s financial section in 1987. The next year, he began the “Just for Laughs” column in the Friday section, focusing on the then-booming local comedy scene.

In the following years he would review and interview some of the nation’s leading comics, later adding television reviews and features to his duties.

“Al was just good people. He was honest, he was fair and he knew what was funny,” said Bernie Mac, whose career Johnson charted from Chicago comedy clubs to television and movies.

We occasionally corresponded with Mr. Johnson over the past five years or so and were quoted in some of his most recent comedy-related articles for the Trib. His sense of humor came through in his emails and his phone calls. It was plain that he loved standup. We had a standing appointment to meet at the next Chicago Comedy Fest to discuss the legitimacy of the phrase “different than” (as opposed to “different from”); sadly that fest never materialized. Though we chided him on occasion in the pages of this magazine, it was understood that he was one of only a handful of major paper writers who understood and appreciated the art and the craft of standup comedy.

We have a WINNER!

Stephen C. Knowles, of Beacon, NY

He’s the lucky winner of Harland Williams‘s “Har-Larious,” a full-length CD and DVD from Daniel Tosh, “True Stories, Made Up.” and a 3-CD/1-DVD bundle that is “Invite Them Up,” a collection of the best of the weekly East Village live show that features the music, characters, short films and “odd bits and pieces” from Bobby Tisdale, Eugene Mirman, Holly Schlesinger and their extended Invite Them Up family.

Thanks to all of you who entered! Check back here for more snappy giveaways from SHECKYmagazine.com !

According to the Daily News, comedian Paul Mercurio has produced (along with The Ben Stiller Show and Mad TV veteran Jim Jones) a pilot called Sports Central.

…The half-hour show, now being eyed by several networks for a 2006 lineup spot, skewers the sports world, leaving no mascot unharmed.

It does to ESPN and other sports-obsessed news desks what Stephen Colbert does to Bill O’Reilly-style punditry on The Colbert Report and David Spade does with “ET”-esque infotainment on The Showbiz Show.

We hope the name gets changed before it finds a home, but, now that sports and politics are taken, could there be more fertile comedy ground than sports? (There is– Springer-style shows– but, for some reason, Timothy Stack‘s wicked satire of that genre, Night Stand, wasn’t as huge a success as it should have been.)

This year’s Comdex (weren’t they just saying a year or two ago that Comdex was no more?) brings us this account of the latest developments in the brave new world of electronics. Under the cumbersome headline, “Amp’d Mobile Announces Industry’s Most Comprehensive Mobile Entertainment Content Offering,” comes word of yet another revenue stream for the nets and the cable outlets:

Amp’d is taking a “DVD extra” approach to much of the entertainment content it provides to members, rather than simple show synopsis clips offered by other providers. Each program has its own “channel” where only Amp’d members will see bloopers, cast interviews, uncensored and extended footage, and other behind the scenes shots plus select previews of new shows. Games, wallpapers, ringtones, voicetones and screensavers related to each show property round out brand channels. Beginning later this quarter, Amp’d members will also be able to view full episodes of television shows and “side load” them to Amp’d handsets from PCs. Once side-loaded, Amp’d customers will be able to then pull the DVD Extra footage related to each full episode, as well as content from current episodes, over-the-air to each program’s brand channel in the Amp’d Live proprietary user interface.

Is it time to examine the contract they push in front of you the next time you do that Tonight Show? Or is this just another over-hyped, yet underdeveloped, way for the biggies to make a nickel or two with re-runs?

Just a few weeks ago, we were getting dire warnings in our inbox telling us not to sign any pieces of paper from unscrupulous wireless service providers who offered us pennies (or less!) in exchange for “exposure.” We were of the opinion that decisions like that one were best left to each individual comic. (And that anyone dumb enough to use “the Ex-Word”– exposure– was probably a piker with little more than that other “Ex-Word”– exploitation– on his mind.)

This newest development, however, involves some heavyweight outlets. And it’s much harder to tell NBC Universal to go piss up a thin rope if there’s a line or two in the contract about “a completely fresh user interface designed specifically for the third-generation technology,” especially when they’re offering Exposure that really lives up to the title.

We figure this will all be hashed out in sterile courtrooms, with fluorescent lights buzzing overhead, by Armani-clad AFTRA lawyers a coupla years hence– if the fresh user interface designed specifically for the third-generation technology actually catches on with the public. And the result will be a somewhat fatter check for that Tonight appearance.

Hollywood Reporter, Reuters, Latimes.com are all reporting that New Jersey’s own Jon Stewart will host the Academy Awards ceremony on March 5. Let’s all start writing those Munich, Brokeback Mountain, Syriana jokes right now and see how many make it into the final broadcast. (The Female Half of the Staff is convinced that nothing will top The Soup‘s “Brokeback Kong” sketch.)

We like Stewart. And this year there’ll be none of the huffing and puffing and faux hand-wringing that preceded Chris Rock‘s installment as host. It’s yet another attempt by the Academy to lure younger male viewers to the broadcast. They tried, and failed, last year. This, too, will fail miserably. We predict that next year’s ceremony will be hosted by Girls Gone Wild. Of course, they will be called Girls Gone Oscar Wild(e)! (Note to Gil Cates: Feel free to use this joke in the course of the show. Also note that you will then be obligated to send us one of them there Oscar Gift Baskets for our efforts.)

Will Stewart escape the criticism that has been heaped upon any other No-Movie guy who has hosted? If you’re just a TV person, like Carson and Letterman, you had no right to host the Oscars! Our prediction: Minimal squawking.

Four comics, BT, Louis Johnson, Vince Morris and Billy D. Washington, have been packaged into The Sellout Comedy Tour, and are currently touring comedy clubs in the U.S.

According to their Myspace page:

SELLOUT is the only interactive comedy show with a segment that allows the audience to “Ask a Black man anything you’ve wanted to know but were afraid to ask.” Join us as we celebrate our differences one joke at a time. Our motto? Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

Interesting. We’ve met all but Mr. Washington and, from what we’ve seen, if anybody can handle dopey questions from white folks in Denver, Vegas and Columbus, it’s these guys. Hop onto their space… uh, their myspace… to anticipate their arrival at your local comedy club. Or to book them.

Check out “WILL, WILLIE, WHY?”, an item on the blog Radio Equalizer, for an early review of KQKE 960 AM’s morning radio show starring former SF mayer Willie Brown and comedian Will Durst.

According to an anonymous source, Larry The Cable Guy, aka Dan Whitney, is expecting a child in August. Can “Git ‘er Done!” diapers be far behind? The mind reels.

Hop on over and read the interview with Patton Oswalt on website/chat board/portal Aspecialthing.com, in which Oswalt displays his special talent for remembering details from incidents that occurred in his formative (comedy) years. (Especially interesting for those of us familiar with the setting of some of his stories.)

The graf that caught our eye was the one about the New Media:

The other thing that’s really exciting now is the Internet. I don’t think things would’ve been as bad, even on the East Coast, even in D.C., if the Internet had been around. Because now, with sites like aspecialthing, and blowupthemoon, and Shecky Magazine, and Cringe Humor, even though a lot of them are at odds philosophically, it is a subjective, critical look at this art form. And it’s treated as an art form. It reminds me of the early, stapled-together punk zines, or Cream (sic) Magazine, where you had people that were really passionate about what they loved and what they hated. You don’t need to agree with everything.

We’re thrilled to be compared to Creem.We stumbled across the interview (and the reference to us) after following a thread off their chatboard. Someone posted that “Shecky are a bunch of big meanie heads” after reading what we posted about the debut of Comedy Central’s Comedians of Comedy. In our defense, our posting about Mr.Oswalt and his show was reasoned, somewhat positive and hardly enough to earn us the title of “meanyhead.” Unless it’s a (misspelled) attempt to portray us as fans of Kevin Meaney, in which case, we plead guilty.

The Female Half of the Staff is currently reading “No Applause-Just Throw Money,” a history of vaudeville by Trav S.D. and is finding it fascinating. (“Much deeper than just a book about vaudeville with funny anecdotes,” says she.)

One particularly interesting mention, discovered by scanning the index, was that of vaudevillian Frank Fay (the “Great Faysie”) whom the author describes as the “unjustly forgotten innovator” of modern standup comedy.

Anthropologically speaking, Fay is the “Lucy” of stand-up; all stand-up bloodlines lead back to him. For a botanical analogy, he is the trunk from which two main branches of comedy would grow. On the one hand, he originated the stand-up comedy style we associate with Hope, Benny, Carson, Leno, and Letterman, the extremely polished “American institution” style, an unspoken confidence that says “an army of people made me possible.” This type of comedian specializes in telling America the jokes that will be repeated around the water cooler at work the next day. On the other hand, with his flip irreverence, Fay is also the father of the more burlesquey style that was to be identified with Ted Healy, Milton Berle, Ken Murray, and such aggressive late-twentieth century comedians as Don Rickles, Alan King, and Jackie Mason. Of all of these, Fay’s foremost successor was Lester Townes (“Bob”) Hope.

(Note: The Lucy referred to above is the pre-human ancestor discovered by anthropologists, not Lucille Ball.) Our recollections of Fay are fuzzy. We’d heard the name here and there over the years, but were unaware of his “seminality.” (Warning: We made that word up!)

Though the book devotes scant attention (so far) to comedy, the observations about vaudeville explain a whole lot about today’s entertainment industry and are eminently applicable to some developments in modern standup. You know us– we’re all about context.

One thing that bugs us– on the dustjacket, is the following (emphasis ours):

Trav S.D. peels back the curtain on the vibrant subculture that persists across the United States today– a vast grassroots network of fire-eaters, human blockheads, burlesque performers, and bad comics intent on taking vaudeville into its second century.

Judging from the author’s insightful and sensitive treatment of the phenomenon of vaudeville (and its practicioners), it is extremely likely that the publisher is the one who inserted the offending phrase. (Once again: Is it paranoia if they really are out to get you? We think not. In this case, the publisher has not only unfairly maligned comedians, but it has also managed to disrespect the author, as we’re fairly certain he wouldn’t characterize any comedians (or any other performers) as “bad.”

Once again, our settings got whacky and our archives for November and December were all goofed up. They were repaired this morning, however, so surfing backward in time is no longer a problem. We apologize for any inconvenience and the Head HTMElf (The Male Half of the Staff) will steel himself, swim into “Blogger Settings” some time in the next 48 hours and fix it permanently. Thanks! (And welcome to 2006!)

Actor Richard DeAngelis died Dec. 28. He played Col. Raymond Foerster on the HBO series The Wire.

De Angelis also appeared in plays, TV commercials, radio spots and print advertisements in an acting career that spanned four decades. He performed standup comedy for many years under the name Ricky Roach.

Read the TVSquad.com obit (and see his pic).

We have a DogShowUSA.com contest WINNER! We’ll be sending a DogShowUSA prize package to Brad Gibson of Salt Lake City, UT! He’ll receive spate of prizes including a DogShowUSA dog bowl, leash, T-shirt, hat and a copy of The Best of Triumph!

Congratulations, Brad, and thanks to all of our readers who entered!

AP is reporting on a study by a former SCOTUS law clerk that gauged how funny the members of the nation’s highest court were based on how many laughs they got during oral arguments.

“I don’t pretend that this is a very serious study. I just thought it would be fun and perhaps a bit enlightening,” said Wexler, a law clerk in 1998-1999 for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who got four laughs in the 2004-2005 term.

We listened to the historical broadcasts of the oral arguments of the SCOTUS in the tussle after the 2000 presidential election. It was fascinating. And, much to our surprise, it wasn’t without its lighter moments.

Associated Press is reporting that Spin magazine is saying that the NJ medical examiner determined that Mitch Hedberg died of “multiple drug toxicity,” including cocaine and heroin.

Spin being what it is, they can’t help but run quotes from various people who will say anything to get quoted in a magazine that caters to the young:

In the Spin article, Maureen Taran, a comedy manager who knew Hedberg, is quoted as saying that life on the road is difficult for a struggling comedian.

“It’s a very lonely existence,” Taran says. “If you aren’t born with manic-depression, you will have it after being in this business.”

Taran also said that if you eat too much sugar, you’ll get diabetes. And if you masturbate too much, you’ll go blind. Taran’s receptionist at the Mayo Clinic said that she was unavailable for any further comments.

SHECKYmagazine.com asks why, when an over-indulging rock star/rock band is depicted on Behind The Music, their drug use/overuse is always attributed to “giving into temptation,” or “having too much fun,” yet when a comic takes drugs, he is “laughing on the outside, grindingly depressed on the inside?” Why are we always depicted as one of those Red Skelton clown paintings with a tear running down his cheek? Why does a comic, who was packing them in at theaters across America, on a tour with the blessing and promotional muscle of Clear Channel and Comedy Central, depicted as “struggling” and why is a comic who was, more often than not, accompanied on his tour by his wife (and fellow comic) and/or other friends and comics depicted as “lonely?”

Because it makes for better copy.

Doug Stanhope‘s website stands out as one of a small number of comics’ sites that accurately captures the author’s spirit, uses the medium of the WWW well and offers interesting and often harsh commentary on himself and those who glance up against him. He has recently posted an update, “The Ghost of Christmas Future,” dated Dec. 12, that is particularly stinging. (And it’s a devastating characterization of a fellow comic.) The posting– part confessional, part warning, part commentary on the business of show (not unlike a lot of what Stanhope does onstage) is also a cautionary tale for every comic, on the way in or on the way out of the biz.

For every comic that dies in his so-called prime and you say “It’s too bad we will never see how much greater they could have become,” remember that they may just as easily become bitter, unfunny, shitty, sell-out, addict wastes or just fucking quit in the face of the pointlessness of it all.

Ouch! Read the rest.

“Group sex club patrons swinging free” reads the title of an article that’s burning up the WWW about how the Supreme Court of Canada lifted a ban on swingers’ clubs, ruling that group sex among consenting adults is neither prostitution nor a threat to society.

The “echangistes” (French for “swingers!”) are all atwitter because now they can go to their favorite swing clubs and engage in consensual sex in a group with one or more other people without having to worry about Jean Law poking his billy club into the pile! (We were particularly amused by one of the story’s subheads, “Gang Bang Tuesdays!” We fear that a wavelet of comedy club owners will arrive earlier in the week for this year’s JFL, forsaking the strip clubs for Gang Bang Tuesdays!)

Our attention was also snagged by this bit of scene-setting, a description of one of Montreal’s more popular swing clubs:

The club is housed in an elegant but aging two-story house on a busy street. The ground floor has mismatched sofas and chairs, scant lighting and framed photographs on the walls depicting scenes of mild sexual bondage.

Substitute “the Bud Light Girls” for “scenes of mild sexual bondage” and you’ve perfectly captured half the comedy condos in America! Now, if you’ll pardon us, we must go shower.

An item from Nov. 23 on El Paso’s KFOX-TV’s website says that Freddie Soto combined Xanax with booze and fentanyl.

Doctors use fentanyl to help patients either during anesthesiology or to control pain for serious illnesses like cancer.

However, the report does not say if Soto was prescribed fentanyl or if he used the drug recreationally. And while comedian Patrick Candelaria says drug use is common in the comedy business, he hopes Soto will not be remembered by how he died.

Thanks a lot for that “drug use is common in the comedy business” sound bite, Mr. Candelaria!

FOS Larry-bob sends us word of an L.A. Times article about how those Craig Ferguson (Late Late Show) monologues are hatched.

About half the time, Ferguson walks into the writers’ room with an idea. The other half, he’ll say, “I got nothing” and turn to Armstrong, who keeps a running list of topics. Guilty pleasures. Anger management. What’s cool and what’s not. Something as simple as having a friend flop on your couch for a few days can jump-start a monologue that ventures into how any interloper who stays too long—a guest, a spouse, a child—can be annoying. And why Ferguson himself is annoying.

We’ve been marvelling at the Ferguson monologues for months now, wondering exactly how they’re created. This article provides the answer and a glimpse into the writers’ room.

Check out the small item on the WCCO-TV website. Louie Anderson hands out cash and turkeys. Giving back to the ‘hood.

We’re entertaining some folks tonight. A Christmas Adam party, we call it. (Christmas Adam, comes before Christmas Eve, get it?) We’ll probably swing the monitor over and back and tuck the computer away for a day or three. If anything monumental happens, we’ll let you all know about it, but if not, have a swell holiday of some sort and we’ll all meet back here in a few days. Deal?

Before we go, we want to thank all of our readers for their loyalty, their assistance and their continued reading. Part of what makes this the WWW’s most beloved magazine about standup is our worldwide army of readers! We aim to continue this in 2006 and make it even better. Thank you all again!

A sharp-eyed reader sends along the following:

“THE BETTER MAN” Feature Film
UNIVERSAL PICTURES
100 Universal City Plaza Universal City, CA 91608
PHONE – 818-777-1000
STATUS – Development
PRODUCER: Scott Stuber – Mary Parent – Charles Castaldi
DIRECTOR: Malcolm D. Lee

Follows the story of a successful Los Angeles comedian who reluctantly heads back to the South with his wife and son to reunite with his family. There, old rivalries heat up.

Hmmm… All we can wonder is why the screenwriter isn’t listed. Perhaps the script isn’t written yet. That there would be what “development” means, we suppose. We just hope the comics don’t have lockers.

Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli is the subject of a mini interview in the Dec. 19 New York Post.

The last time Dave Chappelle was here, I had no idea that he was coming. In fact, most people didn’t have a clue where he was. It was at a time when he was kind of hidden from the world – and then he just popped up here and did a couple of shows for us.

Thanks to FOS Sharilyn, who also sends along word that Andy Kindler will be on Letterman tonight. (We’re not sure if it’s a new one or a rerun of his recent panel appearance. NBC.com keeps timing out, so we can’t verify one way or the other.)

This just in from FOS Paul Ogata: “It appears to be a new episode.”

Note:A sharp-eyed reader writes that Letterman has been on the CBS network for a decade. This is true. It is also true that The Male Half of the Staff has been horribly confused for at least that long, with regard to the affiliations of the NBC and CBS affiliates in the PHL market. Back when Inifinity was forced by the FCC to divest some of its holdings, Channels 3 (then NBC, now CBS) and 10 (then CBS, now NBC) swapped facilities! And affiliations! Oh, it’s a horrible mess! Not an excuse, but as close as we’ll come.

E! Pulls Red Carpet Out from Under Griffin (Subscribers only!)

E! is dropping Kathy Griffin from its red-carpet coverage, the network confirmed today. The red-headed comedienne provided color commentary for awards shows for the network after Joan and Melissa Rivers left E! for TV Guide.

BTW: The exclamation point at the end of the head of this post is involuntary… forced upon us by the inclusion of the unwitting punctuation mark’s inclusion into the Entertainment Television’s official name!

We have smoked out the creators of Chappelle Theory… sort of. Either that, or we’ve been manipulated like one of those puppets on Thunderball XL5!

Not sure if they have bumped the whole enterprise out into the public arena earlier than expected, but it seems that the people behind the Chappelle Theory website were merely promoting a film project by Chappelle’s Show producer Neil Brennan.

We theorized that it sounded like a sketch that might have made the cut on Chappelle’s Show (admittedly, not much of a stretch), well, it now appears that it’s a promo for a longform, theatrical release of such a sketch.

It stars Charlie Murphy. If it’s nothing more than Murphy spinning the tale from the Chappelle Theory website with cheesy re-enactments, a la the show’s Rick James sketch, it will be a huge hit. We say this because we’re of the opinion that no other sketch on that show had more of an effect on the culture, had no more “viral” power than that segment and it’s catchphrase, “I’m Rick James, bitch!” We stil get hits on our site because of it. From Belgium, Togo, India, Columbus, Berkeley, London, Capetown, you name it.
For some reason that sketch, the irresistable appeal of Murphy and the subsequent tragic death of Rick James himself, contributed to a WWW Perfect Storm.

We’re just sorta surprised (given the success of Blair Witch!) that the Chappelle Theory people went wobbly and didn’t milk this thing a little further!

State District Judge Daniel Sanchez has issued a restraining order against David Letterman on behalf of one Colleen Nestler, who “requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least 3 yards away and not ‘think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering.’ ”

Wait a minute… isn’t it Dave who is constantly hounded by crazy people who break into his house, invade his personal space, plot to kidnap his baby and generally make him question why he ever pursued fame and fortune in the first place?

Well, yes, it is. And that still applies.

Ms. Nester, in her application for the order, “began sending Letterman ‘thoughts of love’ after his Late Show began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East.”

Well, we here at SHECKYmagazine are readying our applications for restraining orders! First order: The Male Half of the Staff will get an order requesting that Britney Spears stay “at least 300 yards away from my crotchal area,” and that Ms Spears stop sending messages professing an undying love for the MHotS via her many videos. And the Female Half of the Staff is considering applying to a local court for an order restraining Mel Gibson from “approaching, contacting or leering at” her or any photos of her. (She’s been convinced that Gibson has been telegraphing vague confessions of yearning since his appearance as the retarded guy in the small film “Tim.” I mean, look at those tight shorts, wouldja?!)

Now, all we hafta do is find a judge stupid enough to issue the order and we’ll be bathing in the spotlight!

Sure enough. There’s a convenient icon just after the “s” in “Comments” at the end of each and every post. Oddly, though, it’s invisible! (At least it is on our browser!) But that’s no problem– just roll your cursor next to that “s” and you should see a small box with the words “email post” appear near your cursor. (And/or, for you techie types, the URL containing the words “email post” should appear in your status line at the bottom of your browser window.)

Just click on that empty space (where the little email icon should be!), and you’ll be taken to a browser window that contains a simple form which enables you to fill in a friend’s email, your email and comments. Then you hit a button and BOOM– you can tell a friend of the latest posting on SHECKYmagazine.com!

BET will air a tribute to Richard Pryor tonight. Check your local listings for showtimes. Says Jesse Jackson:

“He would curse not because he had limited material but because it was a form of punctuation and it’s the kind of stuff that people would cringe at in public and then go buy the record. It was the Redd Foxx tradition… He was on the edge and I can not tell you the risk he took as a comedian. All great comedians for the most part, take those risks pushing the envelope.

Adam Gropman’s latest column, “Name Groppin’–From The A-List to the F-List With a Guy Who’s Unlisted,” is a riotous account of our intrepid L.A.-dwelling columnist’s close encounters with, among others, celebs like… Leonardo DiCaprio:

But here I was standing in the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and I was FREAKING OUT. I mean, I was beyond trembling. My head felt as if I’d snorted PCP cut with borax. I was an inch away from catatonic.

At that time, Leo was arguably the most famous human being in the world. Titanic-mania was still sweeping the land like an emotional black plague. He was on the cover of every glossy publication in the newsstands. He was in every TV news show and every gossip column– an inescapable icon that could command a chorus line of agents and producers to dance at the snap of his finger and a Beatles-size army of girls to squeal and faint with one ten second live appearance. As unassuming, regular and almost goofy he looked standing there slightly disheveled in T-shirt and sweat pants that afternoon, this guy was by far the most famous person I’d stood within spitting distance of in my entire life. And I’d be damned if I was going to pass up the opportunity to mentally implode and experience an irrational momentary breakdown!

Read the rest here.

Allen told the BBC that he’s dumb and he sucks as a director.

In London for the world premiere of his new film “Match Point,” set in the British capital, Allen said: “People think I’m an intellectual because I wear glasses and they think I’m an artist because my films lose money.”

Of course, Allen was once a standup comic, so he’s… kidding! Right? When you’ve led the charmed life that Allen has– Oscars, critical acclaim, a nice gig with no boss breathing down your neck, enough money to live in Manhattan for 40 or 50 years– ain’t nobody buying this self-deprecating thing.