We’re in transit (on our “Supersize Me” tour– For the next 30 days, we’ll be eating fast food three times a day!), so the postings will appear in spurts. (We’ve noticed a steep uptick in the number of hotels that now offer hi-speed internet these days. Just six months ago, it was necessary to seek out “better” accomodations to get the hi-speed. Now, even Econo-Lodges and Microtels are offering it! And it actually works– we recall staying in a Homewood Suites specifically because they offered hi-speed and being frustrated at not being able to make it work with our laptop. The support center at the company who was subcontracted to provide the service– a firm called Merlot– blamed it on our operating system, Windows ME, and tried but ultimately failed to get us up and running on the broadband highway.) We’re connected now, though, via the ol’ CAT5E!

Another reason our postings have been sparse– technical difficulties! Our mail has been diverted (lost in the ether? delayed in cyberspace?) and, we’ve been occupied with solving that problem. We might have to resort to totally reconfiguring all of our addresses “out there” so that everything comes to one address. More on that later. IF you’ve sent us a subscription request or a Like We Care in the last 72 hours, please send it again to bmckim(“at”symbol)mindspring.com and it’ll get to us!

Yet another reason we’ve been posting intermittently: A wicked back spasm incapacitated the male half of the staff for 48 hours!

I’m not sure if it was the tennis (45 minutes of it after laying off it for eight years), or the slouching in the Danish modern chair in the back office while transcribing “Marty Robbins All Time Greatest Hits” (1972 Columbia Records) from vinyl to CD. Either way, it gave me a horrific spasm which, 48 hours later, stopped me dead in my tracks in the middle of the living room, unable to take even one more step.

And, of course, since the only cure for a spasm of this type is a muscle relaxer (and the attendant coma), the next 72 hours are lost as well. Cyclobenzaprine, also known as Flexeril, causes a waking death, but eventually enables the victim to stand erect and participate in society. Our favorite side effect is “syncope.” (defined by Webster’s as “loss of consciousness resulting from insufficient blood flow to the brain.” Syncope, indeed.

Anyway, we’re in Cookeville, TN, right now. The hotel (which was formerly a mutant EconoLodge and is now a Country Hearth), actually charged us $5 for Traci. That’s right– “Are there two of you, sir? I’m sorry, but that’ll be an extra five dollars for your wife!” You heard correctly– the booker only pays the single rate and the comic must cough up the extra fin for the hangers on– in this case, Traci. If I brought a pet, it’d be $10, so it coulda been worse. This is Traci’s first time just hanging out as “the comic’s wife” and it’s costing us! (We picked up a one-nighter on the way to our weekender, but there was only room for one of us on the bill, accounting for Traci’s idleness on this evening.)

We’ll be in Vegas by Monday. In the next three weeks, we’ll hit Georgia, Shreveport, Phoenix, Reno and Pontiac, IL. We’ll be out for just about 28 days total. Stay tuned.

Received the following, via email:

The short film, “A Fist Full of Pills,” will be showcased at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival this July. It’s a very cool piece of work, using a standup comedy piece as the “soundtrack.”

Creative team also consisted of some recognizable names from “The Aristocrats”– editing by Emery Emery, Paul Provenza was creative consultant.

“A Fist Full of Pills”
Written by: Tom Hester
Co-directed by: Slade Ham and Tom Hester
Starring: Tom Hester, Tom Rhodes, Slade Ham, Caroline Picard, Justin Petitt and Lee Melton

Sounds interesting! Hope to see all/some of you in Montreal next month.

SHECKYmagazine.com is experiencing technical difficulties– visitors might be getting a file which is the index page for our online press kit, and not the front page of the WWW’s most beloved magazine about standup!

We’ve cleared up the probleem!

Thanks!

Just got the following over the cybertransom from the producers of an upcoming TLC reality show:

ARE YOU PART OF A GROUP OR FAMILY THAT COULD USE A HELPING HAND?

o Are the dynamics within your group or family so out of whack that they prevent you from accomplishing even the smallest of goals?

o Is a member of your organization preventing your fundraiser from getting off the ground?

o Are you and your best girlfriend no longer on speaking terms after trying to plan her wedding?

o Do your key players fight even before the game begins?

o Is your grown son driving you crazy because he won’t move out of the house?

Do you spend so much energy on this situation that you have no time to enjoy life?

Would your group or family benefit from some outside help to become both more cohesive and productive?

If this sounds like your situation, you’ve come to the right place!

TLC’s new series combines Eastern philosophy and Western know-how to help groups and families improve their quality of life. Our experts will pave a path tailored specifically for your group or family to help you become a more cohesive unit and bring back the quality of life you’ve left behind!

ALL APPLICANTS MUST RESIDE IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA.

*All participants must be 18 years of age in order to be selected for the show

For more information about the show and how to apply, please contact:

Jon Unger
Jon.unger@evolutionusa.com

You heard the man, here’s an opportunity to make lemonade if there ever was one.

A coupla weeks ago, we updated the code that makes that banner at the top of the page work (the one that takes people to the Just For Laughs website, specifically to information on the splendid travel packages that entitles purchasers to all manner of Festival perks like VIP passes and free cocktails and tickets to shows), but when we did it, we goofed up the code a little!

No matter though, it’s been corrected (and, it appears, some resourceful folks have gotten through to the page anyway!) and it’s full speed ahead for Festival preparation for all you comedy fans out there who want to spend a day or three immersed in the world’s largest comedy festival! (This year, in case you haven’t heard, the Fest will be peopled by such comedy luminaries as Dame Edna, Lenny Henry, Jim Belushi, Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood, Eddie Izzard and, of course, Andy Kindler! If you call yourself a serious comedy fan, you simply can’t let another year pass by without actually making the trip north and swinging through the Delta Bar at about 30 minutes past midnight on Friday night! Dig that credit card out, click on that banner right now, and nail down your place at the Festival Just For Laughs!)

We were moved to laugh out loud when we read the name of the comedy night at the Parlour Club on Santa Monica in W. Hollywood– No Drink Maximum! (Wednesdays, cocktails at 7:30, showtime at 8)

We found their site when we were sniffing through our stats (as we sometimes do to find out how people find us) and we saw that a certain comic from Memphis named Brian Dowell (who now lives in Los Angeles) included the venue among his upcoming appearances.

We commend the producers, CeCe Pleasants and Katie Massa for managing to capute an attitude and a mission in a concise moniker. (Although, we’re not too happy about their contribution to the erosion of the meaning of the word “smarmy.” It’s been degraded to the point where it’s interchangeable with “sleazy,” when it started out life meaning “false earnestness.”)

Hardly a month goes by that we don’t see some report of the positive health effects of humor. Ever since Norman Cousins got a letter published in the New England Journal of Medicine– and subsequently rolled that up into “Anatomy of an Illness” and a cottage industry promoting laughter as healing– people have been making decent bucks peddling the notion that all manner of ill can be cured by laughter. Today, Associated Press reports that:

…American researchers have found that 10-15 minutes of genuine giggling can burn off the number of calories found in a medium square of chocolate.[…]

Researchers at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, recruited 45 pairs of friends, shut them in a room decorated like a cheap hotel– scientifically known as a metabolic chamber– played them comedy clips on a TV screen and measured how many calories they burned when they laughed.

We’ve stayed in many of those metabolic chambers! Our favorites are the metabolic chambers with a decent continental breakfast.

The most fascinating part, however, was this quote from the lead researcher:

“We didn’t tell them that the goal of the study was to measure laughter, because then they might have forced it and forced laughter is regulated by a totally different part of the brain. We wanted it to be genuine laughter.”

Forced laughter is regulated by a totally different part of the brain? To hell with healing… this merits further investigation. (And, we’ve always been skeptical of these workshops that corporations pay thousands of dollars for that make all the employees stand in a circle and laugh, laugh, laugh! It always seemed forced (and excruciating for those involved… and, we thought, of dubious value, therapeutic or otherwise. We suspect that the part of the brain that regulates forced laughter is right next to the part of the brain that regulates our urge to grab the nearest sharp object and plunge it into the person conducting the Laughter Is Good For Team Building! seminar.

From today’s New York Daily News editorial page, under the head “Laughing Matter”:

You wonder why politicians don’t get no respect? One reason: Legislation that leaves constituents rolling in the aisles. Case in point is a bill introduced by Manhattan Democratic Assemblyman Adriano Espaillat to ensure a “living wage for standup comedians” We did not make that up.

Espaillat wants comics to be paid $120 for every 20 minutes of yada yada yada on weekends; $28 to $46 on weekdays. Weekday laughs are cheap laughs, we guess. The sponsor’s memo notes dire working conditions: “Often times these comedians work in various parts of the city within a short time frame making the use of a taxi service a necessity.” We did not make that up, either.

The bill defines “standup comedian” as “a professional performer who has worked a minimum of 200 performance hours telling jokes and/or performing comedy … where people watch and/or listen to such performances.” Which begs the question: If comics are so bad that people don’t watch and/or listen, would they still have to be paid?

Perhaps public embarassment will cease all this talk of a mandatory “living wage” for comedians.

According to Variety and now CNN, Dave Chappelle Chapelle is doing sets in L.A.

An unnamed Comedy Central representative told Variety that network officials would be sitting down with Chappelle to talk business “really, really soon.”

Might have something to do with that really, really big paycheck that Comedy Central got nothing in return for.

One of the interesting bits of info in the Variety story was that he appeared at the Hollywood Improv and at the Comedy Store, “performing before crowds of 200 and 20, respectively.” For those of you confused by the use of the word “respectively,” that means that the house at the Improv was ten times that of the Store. Can we get an ouch?! We hasten to add that the Improv show was most likely earlier than the Store set. But 10 to 1?

P.S.: If you’re wondering why we are doubling up on Chappelle/Chapelle’s name, it’s because whenever he does something and makes headlines, we get tons of hits. And not everyone is careful about how they spell his name when they enter it into the search engines. (We admit that we were careless the first couple times we posted about him last year. But we noticed that no matter how we spell it, we get a flood of traffic. So, we’re not taking any chances– we’ll spell it two different ways!)

Standup comic Chelsea Handler (website) kicks off her book tour today and tomorrow at the La Jolla Comedy Store. Her book, “My Horizontal Life,” (Bloomsbury USA) is, as the subtitle makes clear, Handler’s “collection of one-night stands.”

Interesting that Handler, a comic who stars in Oxygen’s Girls Behaving Badly and is featured on Tonight as a “correspondent,” has lined up four comedy clubs for her book promo tour. (June 9, at Caroline’s, June 16-19, at the Punchline in Atlanta, June 26-27 at the Punchline in SF and June 30-July 3 at the Tempe Improv)

In the course of her book, she talks about a vast array of one-night stands, yet not one is with a fellow standup comic! And, we noticed that Handler starts out a sentence with “I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people….” We can’t help but offer the advice to never again stay in a comedy condo.

According to Reno TV station KNRV, a 40-year-old audience member filed a police complaint saying that Gallagher slapped him on the side of the head during a show at the Riverside in Laughlin. According to casino spokespeople, Gallagher was let go after he complained about the casino’s policy of selling drinks during his show (imagine that!), but Gallagher claims that he quit.

Gallagher doesn’t deny hitting the guy. He says that he wanted to bring the dude onstage, but that he (the dude) was too busy yakking to a waitress. In his defense, Gallagher also says that the misdemeanor assault did get a laugh. Perhaps that’s why the guy’s complaining.

It’ll never stick: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, can we, beyond a reasonable doubt, determine that the perpetrator was in fact Gallagher… or Gallagher II? (A gasp ripples through the courtroom… the judge bangs his gavel and declares the trial over!) Mr. Gallagher– you’re free to go!

We envision the front row of the jury box draped in 3-mil-thick Hefty bags.

Read all about it before you go clicking on any email attachments. You gotta give the little worms credit for dreaming up a nice incentive to click on an attachment. Didn’t work on us. Hope we got to you in time.

This has been a public service announcement from SHECKYmagazine.com.

Hop onto the Just For Laughs website to see who will be performing there this year. The full list is up.

Also, the deadline for Just For Pitch, the Banff Television franchise that turns pitching ideas into a spectator sport, is June 10. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, check out what we wrote about it in our coverage of the2003 and 2004 Festivals! (Note: Some scrolling required!)

Cliquez ici for details on Just For Pitching.

The Hell Gig America boys are soaking up the rays in Kona right now, having completed their crazy mission to perform 50 gigs in 50 days in 50 states. Check out their weblog and relive the thrilling last few days of their ambitious stunt.

Congratulations, gentlemen. Hope you can all be friends again some day!

We interviewed Woody Woodbury! A fascinating chat with a man who made his mark in live performance, television, recording and movies. He was present at the birth of the Cocktail Lounge! His records sold like vinyl hotcakes (“Connoisseurs have acclaimed ‘Woody Woodbury Looks at Life and Love’ the greatest boon to parties since the ice cube.”) And he played host to the thousands of folks who flocked to “Ft. Liquordale” in the 50s, seeking live adult entertainment during what might legitimately be considered an early Golden Age of live comedy and variety.

Back in the ’20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even the 50’s, there were nightclubs. They were all the rage back then. There was no televsion. None. Nada. The comedians, vocalists, jugglers, acrobats, magicians-illusionists, and any number of variety acts were the “in” and hot entertainment values of the day. People would flock to see these performers in person, at these nightclubs. To entice even more customers, the club owners poshed up their clubs, made them spiffy, charming and up-to-date. The very best and talented of these show-stoppers were the most highly paid. The public devoured these entertainment scenes and sometimes had to wait an hour of more after arriving at a nightclub for the next stageshow. It didn’t take long for the club owners to convert that “waiting-for-the-next-show” area into a sit-down and “have a drink or two” while waiting.

And so the waiting room was plushed-up to become the “lounge” and of course, then the “cocktail lounge.” The stronger, more popular acts drew in the best and wealthiest clientele. Now the owners strove to keep these patrons happy in the “COCKTAIL LOUNGE” so what better way than to initiate song and laughter? Thus was born the “COCKTAIL LOUNGE.”

This interview covers Lauderdale, booze, WW II, television, movies, lounges– It’s the world of comedy and entertainment before you were born, when adults bought the tickets, picked out the albums, called the shots and drank them! Block out a few minutes and read the rest!

It’s not as much of a downer as you might think– XM Comedy’s Memorial Day Salute to the Comedians Who Left Them Laughing will be running on Memorial Day, from 6AM to Midnight EDT. On XM Comedy (XM 150), “XM Comedy pays tribute to those who made us laugh with an all day salute to the comics who have “left the building.” Featuring an artist spotlight each hour.” The spots they’re running feature Kinison and Henny Youngman among others.

If you subscribe to variety.com, you can read the Variety Article. Barring that, there’s always the JFL website. Click around and find out who’s been invited. Dame Edna is coming. The writing staff from Raymond will be there. Spongebob Squarepants will be there (or so they say), which means that Tom Kenney will probably be there. (Considering that Kenney and Greg Proops will both be there, SHECKYmagazine editor Brian McKim will be able to capitalize on the confusion and get backstage a lot.)

Plan on attending the Festival? Don’t forget to check into the packages available by clicking on that banner at the top of this page– and tell them that SHECKYmagazine sent you!

The cover, of course, is a parody of Vaughn Meader’s “First Family” album covers. And the album itself is Rich Little‘s update on Meader’s tour de force. Only this time, the Reagan White House is mocked. Written by 15 people and produced by Earle Doud (who produced Meader’s two Kennedy albums), it features Shelley Hack, Jenilee Harrison and Fridays regulars Melanie Chartoff and Michael Richards (seen on the cover in a tutu).

Also featured in the recording, but not listed on the front were Roger Behr and Roger Peltz (of the comedy team Roger & Roger), Judy Carter and Larry Miller.

One more factoid: The bearded gentleman to the far left is Meader himself. Meader also is featured on the recording as “Voice #2” in Act 1/Scene 6.

Agence France Presse writes that “Britain is suffering a sense of humour failure, with laughter levels three times lower now than 50 years ago.” Reporting on a survey of Brits, they cite the following:

Morning misery is rife, with almost half of Britons — some 45 percent — admitting they frequently wallowed in gloom until lunchtime.

Around 16 million adults, totalling 40 percent, said they failed to muster even one proper belly laugh in an average day.

We never felt better about residing on the sunny side of the pond. The folks who commissioned the survey spoke of “a worrying trend towards glumness. In the 1950s we laughed for an average of 18 minutes daily but this has dropped to just six minutes per day.” Sounds like the mid-90s here in the States. Hmmm… Read the rest here.

Lawrence Van Gelder, writing in the New York Times:

Jack Benny was there. So were Groucho Marx; Milton Berle; Alan King; George Burns and a number of other great comedians, living and dead. Raising spirits, literally and figuratively, onstage and on screen, the occasion was the “Friars Frolic,” the revival after a hiatus of some 50 years of a Friars Club tradition that dates to 1908, when Victor Herbert wrote the “Friars Song” for the very first of these revues.

Read the rest of this admittedly short piece here.

“DEAR ANDREA: I am a woman, and I ejaculate…” So begins a letter to alt.sex.column in the San Francisco Bay Guardian. Why would we be linking to it?

We womenfolk do, in fact, produce a substance similar to male ejaculate. It is Skene’s gland fluid, made in little glands along the urethra and pulsed out, on occasion, during arousal or orgasm.

The female half of the staff proudly bears the surname “Skene,” making all her glands, technically, Skene’s glands. The name is Scottish in origin. And shall now be forever associated, at least in our minds, with female ejaculate. Kinda makes up for the bagpipes. Maybe not.

We have our winners in our National Lampoon’s Lost Reality 2 DVD contest!

Grand Prize Winner M. Simmons of Rendondo Beach, CA, gets:

National Lampoon Presents Lost Reality 2 DVD

A Lost Reality 2 Gags and Pranks Survival Kit including:

Fake Chewed Gum
Fake Barf
Inflatable Wife
Original Billy Bob Teeth

Our Lucky Runner-Up, Lisa Eichholtz of Tamarac, FL, gets:

National Lampoon Presents Lost Reality 2 DVD

Congratulations to both winners! Stay tuned for more free stuff from the WWW’s most beloved magazine about standup! Thanks to all who participated and thanks to National Lampoon and Electric Artists!!

National Lampoon’s “Lost Reality 2”:

When nothing is sacred, everything is funny. The twisted minds that brought you National Lampoon’s Lost Reality , Animal House and Van Wilder are back with more of their hilariously demented look at the continuing phenomenon that is reality television. The vaults have been re-opened as we present another round of TV pilots so outrageous and controversial that TV networks wouldn’t dare air them. In Volume 2, a series of comedians introduce 10 different pilots that thankfully never made it to air. It includes more unearthed footage from returning favorites The Amazing Racist and Money, plus new gems like Midget Wars, Dumpster Dinner and Beer Goggles.

Hey: Anybody interested in a large, steaming pile of horse manure? Warren St. John, writing in Sunday’s New York Times holds forth on the “death of the joke.” You know, like joke jokes. Mr. St. John doesn’t so much offend and annoy as do all those quoted, professors and the like, throughout the article:

Scholars say that while humor has always been around – in ancient Athens, for example, a comedians’ club called the Group of 60 met regularly in the temple of Herakles – the joke has gone in and out of fashion. In modern times its heyday was probably the 1950’s, but the joke’s demise began soon after, a result of several seismic cultural shifts. The first of those, Mr. Nilsen said, was the threat of nuclear annihilation.

Read the rest, if you must, by clicking here (Registration required). It proves that folks will say anything when a reporter from the NYT is on the other end of the blower. (Full disclosure: If a reporter from the New York Times calls us, we’ll yak and yak until he/she says “Enough!” And, the good lord willing, it will make sense and support the reporter’s thesis. And we’ll get quoted in The Paper of Record. The Holy Grail of media coverage for any blog!)

A copy of Southern Gaming caught our eye as we were exiting the rest room at an Arkansas travel center. (“Travel center,” to the savvy reader, is a euphemism for “truck stop.” George Carlin graced the cover. His pic heralded his appearance at the Grand Casino Biloxi earlier this month and the article, about how many casinos in the southeastern U.S. are finding that their customers dig standup, Casino Comedy: Million$ of Laugh$, is available online as well.

In this week’s TV Guide:

CHHERS to TV Land for bringing the wry David Steinberg back to the talk-show circuit as star of the upcoming seires One Night Only. The stand-up comic was one of Johnny Carson’s best guests in the ’70s, but recently he’s been directing shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm. Steinberg certainly beats TV Land’s last talk-show host: Alf.

To which we reply: Are there any other shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm?

From the AP obit, on his Riddler experience:

“It really was a catalyst for me,” Gorshin recalled in a 2002 Associated Press interview. “I was nobody. I had done some guest shots here and there. But after I did that, I became a headliner in Vegas, so I can’t put it down.”

In 2002, Gorshin portrayed George Burns on Broadway in the one-man show “Say Goodnight Gracie.” He used only a little makeup and no prosthetics.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It just comes,” he said. “I wish I could say, ‘This is step A, B and C.’ But I can’t do that. I do it, you know. The ironic thing is I’ve done impressions all my life — I never did George Burns.”

Karen Rontowski is sending out the following to all comedians:

I am working in conjunction with WeThankOurTroops.com to start a comedy library for our troops. Last year they sent hundreds of care packages to our men and women overseas and this year we want to include a comedy CD in each to hopefully bring laughter to our soldiers. Here is how you can help.

ONE

Please send 1-3 (please no more than 3) of your comedy CD or CDs to my business office

Comedy for our Troops
c/o Karen Rontowski
6149 Fulton Ave
Van Nuys, CA 91401

TWO

I will not be editing or listening to them so please include one or two of the following ratings so I can put a stickers on.

G

PG

R

Some Political Content

Political Content

(No different labels and not more than 2 ratings)

THREE

Please include an email address (no phone numbers please) where I can let you know when your CD is on the way. Also you can sign them or send a message.

Thanks for helping out.

MIA MTV-owned star Dave Chappelle tells giant media conglomerate Time that, “I’m not crazy. I’m not smoking crack. I’m definitely stressed out.” MTV pres Doug Herzog and the wigged comic are communicating via the media. (We suspect this is all in preparation for a spectacular lawsuit that will be all the buzz for the next two years or so.)

To Time, Chappelle cops to meeting with a psychiatrist for one 40-minute session after arriving in South Africa, but he says he’s staying with a family friend. “I’m not in a mental facility,” he says in a Q&A that took place Friday and lasted 90 minutes.

A converted Muslim, he says he flew to the country last month for a “spiritual retreat.”[…]

[…]”There were things that overwhelmed me,quot; he says. “But not in the way that people are saying. I haven’t spent any of the money. All that stuff about partying and taking crack is not true.

“I haven’t smoked marijuana in months. My drugs these days are nicotine and coffee.”

What he does admit to is struggling with expectations–his fans’, the network’s, but mostly his own–for the third season of Chappelle’s Show.

“My personal feeling is I didn’t like the direction of the show. I was trying to explain it to people, and no one was feeling me. There’s a lot of resistance to my opinions, so I decided, Let me remove myself from this situation.”

The fortunes of MTV and Chappelle are intertwined. Herzog was quoted late last week as saying that Chappelle’s absence will mean the postponement of their planned summer schedule launch. And a huge loss of revenue. Let the lawsuits begin!

Geraldo had her on for the final segment of his Fox News show last night. Seems that the spunky actress/comedian had Lasik surgery multiple times and fell prey to “epithelial ingrowth,” which means that a bunch of little cells are growing underneath the “Lasik flap,” causing her to gradually lose sight in her right eye. Now she’s shouting from the mountaintop that this could happen to you. Actually it happens to fewer than 1 per cent of the Lasik patients. (All that is in the giant disclaimers that all Lasik patients, including Griffin, signed, but she’s cautioning prospective patients to read carefully before they decide.) Read the gory details here and, for an array of photographs of what can happen, click here. (Note: The page of images is not for the squeamish!)

We are pleased to announce the winners of our John Heffron CD Contest!

JOSHUA HENNE
So. Orange, NJ
KELAU JACKSON
Lobethal, South Australia
MELANIE AULTMAN
Gainesville, FL
BENT HANLEN
Chicago, IL

We would like to once again thank John Heffron and the folks at Uproar Entertainment for providing the of the latest CD by the Last Comic Standing champ!

A Yahoo news story says that Dennis Miller and the show named after him “will tape its final episode Friday in Burbank, leaving CNBC with a prime-time slot likely to be filled by a new business-themed program in the third quarter of this year.” CNBC president Mark Hoffman emailed the bad news to employees Wednesday and acknowledged that

…Miller would be a casualty of CNBC’s decision to shore up its business audience in the memo.

“I have spoken with Dennis Miller about these plans and he has let me know that his strong preference is to leave his program immediately.”

Although their website is, to put it charitably, incomplete, the organizers of the 1st Annual Hawaii International Comedy Festival assure one and all that their festival, near the midpoint of the Pacific Ocean, will be “the place to get discovered,” and that their island get-together is “the perfect opportunity to make those important industry contacts to help you find work here in Hawaii and around the world.” It’s scheduled for May 18-21, 2006, so they’ll have plenty of time to whip that site into shape. (Currently, the only standup talent they seem to have scheduled are Wil Durst, Judy Tenuta and Alonzo Bodden. (And it’s a tad disconcerting to note that visitors can access the page that displays images of these three comics when they click a link labelled “Products.” Perhaps we misunderstand– maybe the Fest organizers merely plan to sell color photographs of the three comics in question and they aren’t scheduled to actually perform.)

Having worked in Hawaii on five separate occasions between 1988 and 1993, the staff here at SHECKYmagazine HQ found that moving to Los Angeles and showcasing at the Ice House was the perfect opportunity to find work in Hawaii. (Heck, we even got married there!) The occasional club operates sporadically. There are no doubt corporate gigs to be had there. But there’s nothing like the mini-scene that existed on four islands at the height of the comedy boom. Perhaps this Fest will perk things up. We are pessimistic, though. The cost of getting to Hawaii, for all but a small sliver of the country, is nearly prohibitive, as is lodging. And competition from Montreal (which takes place eight weeks later) and from the fledgling Vegas fest (which takes place six months earlier) will make it tough for this comedy hukilau debut outing.

Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Dave Chappelle has checked into a mental health facility in South Africa. Read the Associatd Press account.

Sam Hurwitt, writing for the San Francisco Chronicle, details the path from idea to one-man show, to book, to possible cable TV special in this article on sfgate.com about comedian/radio host Brian Copeland‘s “Not a Genuine Black Man.

Once he’d filled a half-dozen composition notebooks with raw material, he e-mailed Chronicle writer Steven Winn a couple of years ago after reading his review of Robert Dubac’s “The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?” Copeland was looking for tips on what makes a good one-man show. Winn said to find a good director…

Smart guy, this Copeland. A great story– practically a how-to for anyone looking to do a one-man show.

Continuing a tradition that dates back to 1999, when Rich Williams wrote the first series of The Big Move columns for our readerss, we now introduce Chris Mata, as the latest Bigt Mover.

“Hi, my name is Chris Mata. A comedian from San Antonio, TX. I worked the road for a couple of years, did a few comedy festivals and have a couple of television credits under my belt. I just moved here and want know how to go about getting stage time.”

That is what I said to club bookers when I moved to New York and it’s what I told the guy who runs an open mic at a tanning salon the night I arrived in LA.

What happens when one starts over in the big city? Where does one begin? Those were questions I didn’t even think to ask when I first moved to New York City. Now, one year later, I’m asking those questions as I move my things into a one-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles.

Almost a year ago today, I arrived in NYC on a Saturday, called a bunch of clubs and by Monday, was at my first open mic. I paid $5 for five minutes. Humiliating. That happened twice. I started barking/flyering in Times Square for stage time. That lasted about two months. In the following weeks, I would hang out at clubs and run into comics I knew from the road. Some were nice enough to put in a word for me with the booker. Soon enough, I was passed at a major club and from there, work started coming slowly but surely. Eventually, a management company showed interest. But all I have to
show for that is that I can say I have a manager. That’s it.

Now, just as I was starting to work weekends, I’ve moved to L.A. to be funny in front of comics at a tanning salon. It’s so reminiscent of my first months in NY. Am I ready? I’m not sure. Does it matter? Nah, I’m here anyway.

The internet is this couple’s best friend. My girlfriend and I found a place to stay in Los Angeles for a couple of months via Craigslist. It’s about five miles from the Comedy Store. Location is everything. As far as
transportation, my girlfriend already had a car out here.

I’ve emailed all the people I know in L.A. to inform them I’m in town. I’ve even contacted people I don’t know, hoping to get on their show. No time to waste. I flew into L.A. on a Sunday and did my first open mic that same night. The host of the tanning salon open mic is one of the few people I’ve
heard back from– found him on Chucklemonkey. I’m starting all over again. A no-name in a big-name town. Only this time, I’m starting a day earlier.

See the first installment of Chris Mata’s Big Move by clicking HERE. (And, check out his website.

Now, normally, we don’t pay any attention to sketch comedy (ya gotta limit your editorial focus, elsewise, you’ll drive yourself– and your readers– crazy), but since SHECKYmagazine’s own Adam Gropman is involved, we have no problem driving people to the Sketch Armstrong website, and letting you know that they’ll be performing at the Comedy Central Workspace on Wednesday night. If you’re in the area (that would be the SoCal area, specifically Los Angeles, specifically, 6539 Santa Monica Boulevard), call (323)960-5519 and make reservations to attend the 8PM show. Admission is FREE. Tell them that SHECKYmagazine.com sent you.

Update: Mr. Gropman emailed us yesterday to inform us that the Sketch Armstrong show at the Comedy Central Workspace was sold out!

An msnbc.com article on Tommy Chong explores the bind Chong found himself in as people in the audience of “The Marijuana-Logues” persisted in lighting joints during the show.

On parole now, he tells NEWSWEEK that he can’t do “The Marijuana-Logues” legally until he gets off probation. Still, even after his probation expires, he says, “I don’t feel comfortable because I’m trying to get my record expunged. I’d still be thumbing my nose at the government [that] just finished putting me in jail.”

A.C. Lichtenstein, one of the producers of the play, says he was happy to let Chong meet the terms of his parole, but once those terms expire in July, Chong should honor his contract to do 36 shows on the road. “This is nothing more than an excuse by Mr. Chong to get out of his contractual obligations.”

(Chong got popped in a law enforcement effort that went after businesses that sell drug paraphernalia over the Internet. Chong was a principal investor in his son’s business, which sold blown-glass bongs. Plans are in the works for a new film with Chong’s old partner Cheech Marin (Thanks to reader Stuart McCallister for the hot tip!)

Things don’t look good for our hero. Check out the latest, a Newsweek article on Chappelle that attempts to get at the latest delay in production of the Comedy Central show.

Published explanations for the ini-tial delay ranged from a nasty flu bug to “walking pneumonia” to writer’s block. According to friends of Chappelle’s interviewed by NEWSWEEK, however, the real cause of all the turmoil is more complicated.

Uh oh.

The $50 million deal transformed Chappelle from a funny guy with a decade’s worth of false starts to the hottest comedian in America. He wasn’t prepared. “I saw him start trippin’ when the buzz started to get real loud,” says one celebrity friend.

Double uh oh. We’ll keep you posted.

We casually and unapoligetically refer to the Philadelphia comedy market as the worst comedy market in the country for its size. The city (and the Metropolitan Statistical Area that surrounds it) is regularly ranked fourth or fifth in population in the nation, yet there is not a major comedy club in the city proper. And clubs in surrounding towns are Friday/Saturday affairs, with maybe a Thursday night show.

There are a number of fine, accomplished professional comedians who persist in residing here, but the “scene” is not what it was at its peak in, say, 1990 or so, when a few comedians actually moved to the area to make a living as standup comics. And it is a known fact that Philly has burped out some fine comics over the years: Dom Irrera, David Brenner, Bill Cosby, Wayne Cotter, Bob Saget. But the city hasn’t recovered from a series of misfortunes and coincidences (and people) who have been keeping it from recovering from the bust of the early nineties like Boston and San Francisco seems to have done.

There are encouraging signs, though, as Kris Clayton over at Rascals in Cherry Hill seems to be making a giant effort to foster some sort of community. And there’s comedian Theresa Krallinger, who formed (and tirelessly administers) a Yahoo! Group called Philly Comics. And there’s now THREE clubs in Atlantic City. That’s right– Catch A Rising Star will occupy the room in Resosrts that was previously occupied by the Improv (and, before that, an ill-fated venture booked by David Glickman that boasted on billboards, “Comics straight from Florida.”). Being that A.C. is just over an hour away for many Philadelphia-based comedians, that’s a positive. And in Princeton, Catch maintains that a new club, specifically designed for comedy will be part of the Hyatt Regency Hotel there when their atrium re-do is completed. The new venue, will seat fewer patrons than the Catch that previously did business there, but it will be better in many ways, we’re assured.

And one more thing. There’s a giant, sprawling contest coming to town. An outfit calling itself Laff-A-Lot Productions is promoting a contest to find Philly’s Funniest Comic. Their website is far from completed, but this caught our eye:

For an added twist the Cymbal Manufacturer preferred by Professional Drummers all over the world ZILDJAN (sic) will be making for our use, a 48″ Cymbal fto be used as a a GONG. Remember the old Gong Show. A Guest Fashion Model can be encouraged, by the audience or the Judges to put a Comic that is Dying, out of their misery, or possibly Saving the Audience from Committing Mass Suicide.

Thus making Zildjian (correct spelling) the most hated cymbal manufacturer in the comedy community. The contest aspires to great things. An ambitious schedule, for one:

The first 6 show dates are going to be called the “Semi-Final”. They will be held on subsequent Tuesdays and Thursdays, beginning on May 17, 2005, and will run for the next 3 weeks. The exact dates will be:

Tuesday May 17th Thursday May 19th

Tuesday May, 24 Thursday May 26th

Tuesday May 31 Thursday June 2nd

The thought of doing standup in front of a hot babe wielding a gong is distasteful to say the least. But has there ever been a contest that was, gong or not, dignified? Unless, of course, you are the one who wins.