We ask that ONLY BOOKERS POST here. Your comments will be read by hundreds (thousands?) of comics. Be brief. List ONLY the following:

Location of the gig (city, state/province)

$$$ for the gig

How much time the comic(s) is/are expected to do

You email address

NOTE: No bringer shows, no barker shows, no open mikes, no auditions, no offers of “exposure!” Please keep it brief. No philosophy on what you think makes a good comic or a great show. (And no complaining if nobody responds– It’s free, after all.)

DISCLAIMER: We take no responsibility for unscrupulous business practices of anyone who might post a gig here. We are not benefitting from the postings via PAID GIGS. This service is offered free to anyone seeking to book a professional comic. You’re all big boys and girls. Any contract you might enter into via this posting is done so of your own free will and we will not be held responsible if the whole thing turns to shit.

Hit “comments” and off you go!

Georg Szalai, writing in the Hollywood Reporter:

Industry talk about a possible second comedy festival organized by HBO has been around for a long time, and in the fall it finally will become reality.

…HBO said Monday that it has teamed up in a joint venture with live-event
producer AEG Live to hold the Comedy Festival — which is set to
attract the broader public — in Las Vegas from Nov. 17-20.

Of course, this comes as no surprise to SHECKYmagazine.com readers. We linked to articles alluding to this possibility way back on Feb. 14, thanks to a nice spot by Tommy James (See that posting (“A second Aspen in Vegas? Huh? Wha?”) here. (It also gives us a deluxe opportunity to quote ourselves, quoting ourselves!! Talk about your self-referential routines!):

A deluxe opportunity to quote ourselves again! On Aspen’s recent effort to seek out comics who lacked management or representation:

Might this be in response to a widespread perception among those of us in the comedy biz that USCAF is a “locked game” that merely serves as a ski holiday for Hollywood fatcats (and their clients)?

Oh, yeah. You can bet that we’re taking full credit for this move!

We just got an email today from Brad Trackman regarding the recent bizarre incident at Rascals this past weekend:

Hi Brian,

My friend just told me about your recent article covering Rascals in Cherry Hill. First and foremost that was NOT my father. I have no idea who that idiot was but I can assure you he was no relation of mine.

My father is a class act who would never heckle a comedian or disrupt a show. He doesn’t smoke or drink for that matter either.

I would appreciate a retraction and apology to my father in your next article. I would also appreciate if you could give me a call at (phone number withheld).

Best,
Brad
bradtrackman.com

Most bizarre. There’s a crazed fan who bears a spooky resemblance to you, claiming to be your pop. And he likes to heckle comedians. (And he seems to be a Larry the Cable Guy fan… but then again, these days, who isn’t?) But we never said he was an idiot– that was your embellishment.

And, for the record, we never said he was drinking. Our readers might have inferred as much– like when we said that “Traci hammers him a little more, much to the delight of the predominantly sober audience.” (Which, by the way, has been removed from the original posting.) But we never outright said that he was drinking. (And, for all we know, he hadn’t had so much as a drop– the worst hecklers we’ve ever experienced were, curiously and maddeningly, clearheaded and all too alert!) And, if it means anything, we did clearly imply that Brian’s 88-year-old mother drinks– and with gusto! (And, although some don’t consider it gambling, we also stated rather baldly that she likes to play the lottery!)

We’re still mystified as to why anyone would be masquerading as Brad Trackman’s father… as opposed to say, masquerading as David Brenner‘s father or Jerry Seinfeld‘s old man. But we caution Brad that, when our heckler friend was asked if he knew that Brad Trackman was scheduled to appear there later this month, he said, “Hell yes I know! And I’m going to be here!” (Cue the spooky music!)

We’ve heard from two different sources that James Wolcott has condescended long enough to write about standup comedy. We were over a friend’s house on Sunday– a friend who actually subscribes (which, we suppose would answer our own question posed in the title of this post)– but we forgot to read it, and the local library only has the April issue of VF. Which means that, as distasteful as it may be, we might have to shell out the $15 or $20 and actually buy a copy of Vanity Fair. (Yeah, we know… we’re exaggerating on the price.) In the meantime, people are emailing us and telling us we gotta read this piece, entitled “Wit’s End.” The blurb on their site goes:

The comatose state of stand-up comedy was brought into high relief by the death of Johnny Carson, who broke in a generation of comics on The Tonight Show. Hacking through the kudzu of cheesy clubs and self-referential routines, James Wolcott can’t find the edge of laughter.

Cheesy clubs? “self-referential routines?” (Note to Mr. Wolcott: Who the hell else are we going to reference?) Don’t you just love it when the intellectuals go all Baby Huey on standup? This is just the blurb and Mr. Fancy Pants already has his claws out! We can tell that we’re not going to like it. But, unlike ol’ Thurston Howell the Turd here, we’re going to keep an open mind.

Our own Bonnie McFarlane is taping her HBO special at the Skirball Center for Performing Arts. Readers of SHECKYmagazine.com know Bonnie from her wildly popular Seminude Revue columns. Those of you who don’t read our magazine may know Bonnie from her brief but impactful run on NBC’s Last Comic Standing (Season II). Bonnie sends along the following:

If you are interested in being part of these exclusive free, live television events – YOU MUST LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA AND YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER, please email us at THIS ADDRESS with the following information in both the subject line and body of your email:

1. Your full name

2. Your phone number(s)

3. Your email address (the one you pick up most often – be aware that many work email addresses mistakenly identify our emails as Spam so make sure you use an email address where you can receive our emails)

4. Which show(s) you want to attend, Put “ANY SHOW” if you can attend either of the two tapings including the early evening.

5. Number of tickets (2 tickets is the maximum number we can allow. If you need more tickets please have your additional guest request tickets under their name and email address. Thanks)

Example: Richard Pryor/(212) 555-1212 /wildcomic@pryor.com/ANY SHOW/2 tickets

Please refer to the shows as follows(YOU MUST BE AT THE SHOWS AT LEAST 1 HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE SHOWTIME):

Show 3 – BONNIE MCFARLANE AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS–

FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005 – 6:30PM (LINE UP 5:15PM-5:45PM)

Show 4 – BONNIE MCFARLANE AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS–

FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005 – 9:00 PM (LINE UP 8:00PM-8:30PM)

“ANY SHOW” – MEANS YOU CAN ATTEND ANY TAPINGS. DON’T PUT DOWN “ANY SHOW” IF YOU CAN’T ATTEND THE EARLY EVENING SHOWS. IF YOU ARE FLEXIBLE ABOUT WHICH TAPING YOU ATTEND YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET TICKETS.

We will contact you via email or phone with a detailed confirmation if there are tickets available. You should hear from us within a few days of your email but at latest by WEDNESDAY, April 20, 2005 depending on when you rsvp. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL US DUPLICATE REQUESTS THIS IS CONFUSING FOR US. If you have not heard from us by Wednesday evening, April 20, 2005 it is because we have run out of tickets. Since the audience is such an important part of the show if you and your guests have confirmed tickets for the show and do not attend we will be forced to remove you from our list for future free TV events.

SEE HBO ONE NIGHT STANDS OR MISS OUT ON SEEING WHAT HBO KNOWS IS THE FUTURE OF COMEDY!!

The Skirball Center is in NYC and is not to be confused with the Ski-Ball Center, which, we assume, is at Coney Island. (I’ll bet they get that all the time!) And we would provide you with more information, but, artists that they are, they’ve larded their website down with gargantuan Flash animation that may actually load sometime in this century.) Just know that the Skirball Center is in Greenwich Village, near Washington Square and take it from there. Now get out there, Bonnie McFarlane fans, and make this the best damn HBO taping there ever was.

You may recall a recent posting that told of three comics (John Wessling, Tommy Drake and Chuck Savage) who had a crazy plan to set out from Texas one day and do 50 dates in 50 states in 50 days. Well, they launched their Hell Gig America trip the other night in Beaumont and they’re headed for Pensacola tonight (venue to be announced!) and they’ll be in Birmingham at the Stardome tomorrow (Tuesday) night! Head on out and support these boys as they set out to do what no comic has done before! Bring ’em a covered dish or a couple bucks for gas money or a fake plastic vagina! (Make that three fake plastic vaginas!) While you’re waiting, you can follow their exploits via the “Road Updates” blog they’ve configured on the site.

Good luck fellahs! We’ll see you in Baltimore!

This is so stupid it’s funny. We actually went to it and played it once. (And kicked mighty ass, we hasten to add!) (Editors note: This is a re-ruunning of a posting that had to be taken down because of technical difficulties!)

Jim Slotek, writing for the Toronto Sun, offers a personal reminiscence on Mitch Hedberg:

A decidedly right-brained talent, Mitch was then “of no fixed address” as they say, having just been kicked out of his New York apartment by his ex-girlfriend. “It was in-fie-delity. I gotta be honest about that,” he told me.

Read the rest here.

A story for the ages. So we’re co-headlining at Rascals in Cherry Hill, NJ, this past weekend. The first three crowds of the weekend are splendid– enthusiastic and attentive; some smaller than others, but quality-wise, they’re great.

Come show number four– 10:30 show Saturday– we’re hoping to cap the whole weekend off with a corker, when some guy in the back starts giving Traci shit within four jokes of her hitting the stage. Traci gives it back, shreds the guy repeatedly; laughs ensue. The management wisely uses restraint– Traci’s getting the better of the exchange, but they wait to see if the situation heads in a truly ugly direction before bringing the hammer down on him.

Mr. Heckler actually yells, “Git ‘er done!” a few times. Traci hammers him a little more, much to the delight of the rest of the audience.

Eventually, when our bouncer gives him the mild “talkin’ to,” he retreats to the lobby to catch a smoke, stopping by the office to complain about that sassy gal on stage.

In spite of all this, the sets go great. Mr. Looselips burbles and gurgles feebly during Brian’s set, but all the fight’s gone out of him. Brian labels him “our mascot,” when explaining his behavior to a group of late-arrivers and uses him as a comedic “cat toy” once or twice during the remainder of his set. Further disruption is minimal and the yocks from the put-downs enhance the set.

The show ends. Mr. Heckler Dude brags loudly, “I’m Brad Trackman‘s father!” Trackman, for those of you following along at home, is the scheduled headliner at this very venue June 23-24! (Correction: That’s 23-25– Editors)

Hmmm… We are sorely tempted to prop up Brian’s 88-year-old mother (who lives a scant five minutes from the club) in the back of the house– just in time for the late show Saturday on the 25th of June– ply her with two Manhattans and encourage her to blast little Brad with “Git ‘er done!” and “That’s what om talkin’ about!” She’s 88! She’ll do it for a coupla Manhattans and a lottery ticket!

Hey, Brad, tell your old man not to heckle the other members of your profession! Or, at the very least, just have him limit the heckling to your sets.

This has been a public service announcement from SHECKYmagazine.com.

Shecky Greene, standup comic, actor and one of the real-life characters that loomed large in 1960s-era Vegas, turned 79 years old today.

At one time Greene was the highest-paid act on the Las Vegas strip. His antics, and the stories of his contemporaries– Louis Prima, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley– contributed to the lore that made Sin City a premiere American tourist destination. Not only was he once a household name in America, but his first name achieved icon status, becoming a generic term meaning, loosely, one who cracks wise or makes jokes.

He recently moved to Palm Springs and, from all accounts, is virtually retired from performing.

We wish him a happy birthday.

One of our spies out there in Comedyland sent along the Edmonton Journal’s take on the whole Andy Dick/Yuk Yuks mess. It was most difficult to choose our favorite quote. Here’s two that tied for the grand prize:

“I’ve never seen anything that bad on a stage, ever,” (Yuk Yuk’s manager Chrysi) Rubin said of the two shows she paid the star comedian $7,500 US to perform at the Londonderry Mall club on Friday evening.

“I think this was the first time in Yuk Yuk’s history that we’ve had to terminate an act of some notoriety.”

(If anyone has a link to an online version of the EJ’s account, please insert it into a comment, eh? Thanks!)

“He kept exposing himself on stage. He took his (penis) out and wrapped it around his arm like a watch. He was talking about other races.”

(A patron) said Dick drank heavily on stage. By the time the brief show ended, he said he was worried someone in the angry crowd would physically attack the comedian.

Are we piling on? No, not at all. But when there are so many comics out there (actual comics— ya know, comics? Like comedians? Like, ya know, with, like… an act? Like, material?!) it is puzzling as to why folks are so intent on inflicting this kind of ridiculousness on comedy club crowds (and charging $15,000 US!), and doubly puzzling as to why anyone would book it into his or her club (and charge his or her patrons $32 CD)? I guess we just don’t understand how the world works.

The above has become a catchphrase around SHECKYmagazine HQ, and for obvious reasons! We saw it in the TV Guide’s Cheers and Jeers section:

JEERS to NBC’s latest cliched Behind the Camera movie, The Unauthorized Story of Mork & Mindy, which reduced Robin Williams (Chris Diamantopoulos) to a perky yet sad clown who handles TV fame by declaring “I will not become Bob Denver” as he turns to drugs. Given the script, who’d blame him?

No comment yet from Bob Denver, we suppose. (We’re guessing it’s a direct– and authentic– quote from Williams. Does it not say a lot about the man that he would say something like that about a fellow thespian? Not nice.) And what’s with the people at TV Guide sucking up to Robin Williams like that? JEERS? Get real! (And, after all, wasn’t Robin Williams actually a “perky yet sad clown?”) We wonder if the same thugs who threatened to end Michael Chiklis’ career for portraying John Belushi in a trashy biopic leaned on poor Mr. Diamantopoulos in a similar manner. (Judging from the art that accompanied the item– Chris D. in full Mork regalia!– he won’t be starring on the FX as a dirty cop any time soon!)

We also noticed in the same issue, an item entitled “J.J. Abrams Gets Busy” tells of “the tireless 38-year-old writer-producer-director” who has three pilots in the running to apear on ABC’s fall schedule. (What it is it about the business model of Big TV that insists on throwing money at producers who have one or two hits, asking them to spin four or five plates at once, thereby destroying their ability to do just one series with any success? Even Aaron Spelling had the sense to do only one or two at a time.)

Anyway, one of the pilots, “The Catch,” is described as “a long-in-the-works pet project about grandfather-and-grandson private eyes.” (We like to call it “Heart to Heart Attack!”) The beauty part is that Don Rickles has been cast as… the older one!

We won’t know until May 17 if Rickles will be on regular network television– that’s the day that ABC announces their fall schedule.

Gary Levin, writing “Networks hard at work to sign up sitcoms” on the front page of USA Today’s entertainment section says that NBC’s offering, The Office, is “the clearest sign yet of the risks that the networks will shoulder to escape a comedy drought.” (Running a remake of a hit British TV series is a risk?) Levin goes on to quote NBC Entertainment chief Kevin Reilly, who says that, “aside from Two and a Half Men, there hasn’t been a new comedy in several years that has really grabbed viewers.” Which leads to our favorite quote from Reilly:

And then there’s Earl, about “a petty thief who has an epiphany after winning the lottery…We haven’t seen a lot of rednecks on NBC,” lately.

Does anyone else get the impression that Reilly was curled up in a fetal position beneath his desk as he issued these quotes? One gets the idea that Gary Levin is not a real person and that Andy Kindler has ghost-written this piece.

Kindler…er, Levin says that the strategies being employed by the suits (those phrases in bold at the beginning of each paragraph) are as follows: “Familiar faces,” (You know, like Geena Davis and Donald Sutherland, like that.), “Drama crossovers,” (Serious actors like James van der Beek and Kevin Sorbo!), and “Singles are everywhere,” (“Call it the anti-Raymond,” says the copy. It’s about time we had the anti-Raymond, isn’t it?! Who wants a series to go on for, like, nine seasons! What a horrific formula that Raymond was!) And the whole article is capped off with the optimistic, nearly euphoric quotes from “outspoken agent-turned-producer” Gavin Polone:

“They all stink…The pilots being made everywhere are derivative and silly…Even when they try to break out of the mold (of) the family with the couch and TV, then it’s derivative of something else.”

Happy days are here again!

Levin turned in a lengthy piece just a few pages away from the above article, this one in the TV section, holding forth on “What tickles the networks,” and letting us know that the “broadcast networks are on a quest to end a comedy drought.” I smell Pulitzer! The subhead says that, “In May, they’ll choose from about 80 sitcoms preparing pilot episodes.”

Hey, wait a minute… we’ve been assured time and again that the sitcom is dead! What gives here? Our favorite quote, under the heading, “NBC: ‘Fresh’ and ‘honest’ are the watchwords”:

“I don’t think the answer has to be that it’s groundbreaking or something you’ve never seen before, ” entertainment chief Kevin Reilly says. ” But a lot of comedies don’t seem to be particularly fresh, and they don’t seem to be particularly honest.”

But the WB has a special place in our hearts because they want to save the world by using “Star power and witty writing.” While they did at least have the sense to tap the guy who created Scrubs, the star power they come up with is, (drumroll, please): Jane Leeves, Anne Heche and Camryn Mannheim! And the other networks can only muster Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Chris Kattan and Kevin Sorbo.

The sitcom isn’t dead, but the doctors and nurses to whom we have entrusted its care are quacks, totally incapable of discerning a boil from a tumor and frequently mistaking Mountain Dew for saline solution.

Our own Doug Hecox got a splendid hit in Roll Call (subscription required), “For Politicians, the Quip Starts Here– Joke Writers Have Become Essential to Some Political Leaders” by Bree Hocking. If you aren’t a subscriber, we’ll just tell you that it’s a fascinating piece about the cottage industry inside the beltway– dozens of comics providing jokes or entire speeches to politicians on both sides of the aisle. Congratulations, Mr. Hecox!

According to the bio under his piece on Ynetnews.com, Charles Warady is “a standup comedian living in Israel who hosts with his wife, Carol, a weekly podcast about life and politics in Israel on his blog, Israelisms.”

“Exactly what I said. You can’t have those tires.”

I told him my credit card was as good as anybody else’s and I wanted to see those tires.

“Those are already spoken for.”

“But there’s a ton of tires there,” I pointed out.

After much prodding, he finally broke down and told me the truth. “They’re for the settlers,” he confessed.

Read how the Jews in the settlements in Isreal have incorporated tires into their civil disobedience repertoire.

Normally, we don’t air dirty laundry… or repeat gossip… but we couldn’t let this pass without comment. According to an item in the Edmonton Sun (“What a dick!”), Andy Dick got sent home from a gig in Edmonton.

While Yuk Yuk’s doesn’t shy away from risque humour and was aware that Dick doesn’t do standup, Kirk said the actor’s lack of material was his worst offence.

“We don’t put someone on stage that doesn’t have prepared material,” he said. “He was just not funny, and he didn’t do what we thought he’d do.”

After the second show on Friday, club management told Dick to go home, and cancelled his hotel room for Saturday as well. Award-winning local comedian Andrew Grose filled in on Saturday night and delivered killer sets, Kirk said.

The first element of this story that stands out for us is the part where the club’s management says that they were, “aware that Dick doesn’t do standup.” Then, they follow it up with a surprised, “the actor’s lack of material was his worst offence.”

YUK YUKS: “Yuk Yuks, may I help you?”

DICK’S AGENT: “Yes, my client doesn’t do standup… I understand you have a comedy club….”

YUK YUKS: Send him on up! (aside to assistant)This is going to be sooo fucking great!”

How ever did things go so terribly wrong? Such a mystery!

Stunt bookings are a time-honored tradition. Will this kill the bookings for Mr. Dick? Get real. We’ve heard all kinds of horror stories over the years– club owners/bookers tell of rude, erratic behavior by bookees, on- and offstage, and, when the observation (a reasonable one) is made that

“Well, I guess you’ll never have him/her back to the club again,”

it is usually followed up with,

“What? We’re bringing him back in for Valentine’s Day! Sure, he shit in the green room and fucked my dog and called the mayor’s wife a cunt first show Friday, but he puts butts in the seats!”

The second element of this story that stands out to us is the no-win situation that Andrew Grose found himself in after Dick was sent home. Or was that a no-lose situation? Either way, it worked out well for Grose… or, did it?

“So, I guess that means you’ll have (fill in name of comic who saves the weekend) headline again real soon, right?”

“Oh, no! He’s a local.”

We really shouldn’t post after coffee/before breakfast. (P.S. Add the Edmonton Yuks to the list of clubs that won’t be hiring us any time soon.)

–A D V E R T I S E M E N T —

Calling all comedians searching for good, reliable website host who offers service, quality and value. Click on that button on the top of the column over there ——> and it will whisk you to the guy who has been hosting our site for six years to the day! That’s right– SHECKYmagazine is SIX YEARS OLD today and, throughout those six years, one constant has been the service, quality and value of Coolnet.

Click on that button, people. It will take you to information on a special SHECKYmagazine.com/Coolnet.net offer. And tell them SHECKYmagazine.com sent you and you’ll get the SHECKYmagazine.com Cool Offer! It’s our birthday present to you.

Matthew Grimm, writing for Brandweek (the same folks who brought you Adweek and Mediaweek):

(Comedy) doesn’t work when an account exec joins the team. Real comedy, especially standup, turns the world inside out to expose its inherent stupidity, and that often requires vulgarity, disrespect and challenging perceptions. Real art tends not to get sponsored, because sponsors can’t remotely be associated with anything vulgar, disrespectful or challenging to perceptions.

He’s perplexed by the un-funniness of Pepsi’s Sierra Mist campaign and he’s not amused by any of the contestants in Sierra Mist’s quest to find “America’s Next Great Comic” (“Five comedians, one soft drink”). We were perplexed because Pepsico required us to upgrade our Flash viewer in order to experience their site. Oh, well… there’s comedians in there somewhere.

Read the rest here.

TV Guide had a cow over the Jeff Foxworthy Roast on Comedy Central.

You know you’re a critic in trouble when there’ barely one joke from a comedy special that’s A.) Clean enough to repeat and B.) Funny. Example: Jeff Foxworthy’s TV show was so bad that “Christopher Reeve got up and changed the channel.” Quadriplegic humor is bad enough but this roast also boasts four Hispanic jokes.

Oh, the horror! How can we all go on! Four Hispanic jokes!?!? Oh, the humanity! Susan Stewart, the author of the above savaging of the Comedy Central Roast should be re-assigned. Perhaps she would be better suited to ghost writing the answers to the fake question in “Walter Scott’s Personality Parade.” She’s the tightass in the front row who never cracks a smile. She’s the moron who comes up to you after the show and says something inane like, “You know, hurting animals isn’t a very funny topic for humor.” (Or something equally idiotic, depending on what subjects you’ve managed to cover in your set.)

It was enjoyable. Not sure why they had to change the format of the roast and take it out of the Friars Club, and let everyone wear civilian clothes. Where’s the harm in making all these comics wear tuxedoes and deliver this stuff from a dais in a dusty old wood-paneled building dripping with tradition and history?

That George W. Bush impersonator (Steve Bridges, for those of you who were wondering) was a killer. And, just in case you’re wondering, here’s his contract rider (Smoking Gun, eat your heart out):

“Mr. President”…Steve Bridges 2004 Rider

This rider is hereby made a part of the contract for ___________________________
by and between Steve Bridges (hereinafter referred to as “Artist”) and
_______________________ (hereinafter referred to as “Producer”).

1. Producer shall provide and pay for:

A. One non-smoking Jr. Suite for makeup artist Kevin Haney and one non-smoking Single Room for artist for one or two nights, as needed. Rooms must be pre-paid and close together, on the same floor

B. Add to Haney suite prior to arrival: one 6-foot banquet table and two floor lamps

C. Van, limousine, or large SUV for ground transportation to and from hotel and airport

D. Ground transportation to and from performance venue if not at hotel
E. One high-quality lectern/podium with adjustable microphone, preferably on a stage positioned directly in front of audience

F. First class sound system with CD player and operator

G. Four or five “shills” (members of the audience willing to ask Artist a question during his performance)

H. One microphone (preferably wireless) for audience “shills” during Question and Answer period

I. Spotlight and operator or full stage wash appropriate for venue (spotlight highly recommended for Artist’s entrance)

J. Green Room (holding area) for Artist prior to performance with chairs, mirror, ice water, glasses, etc.

K. At least two “Secret Service Agents” in dark suits (no sunglasses, please!)

2. Artist will provide:

A. “Hail to the Chief” CD

B. Four or five questions for audience “shills”

3. Introduction: “Ladies and Gentlemen, a very special guest has taken time out of his hectic schedule to be with us, and we are truly honored. Please welcome our special guest.” NOTE: Don’t mention Washington, President Bush or politics; it will telegraph the hoax, lessening the
surprise impact of Artist’s entrance.

4. Sound operator to begin playing “Hail to the Chief” nice and loud, immediately after introduction. As Artist reaches the lectern/podium, sound operator slowly turns volume off. Replay “Hail to the Chief” immediately upon conclusion of performance and until Artist exits room.

Accepted by: _____________________________________

What was the deal with that rap act? It wasn’t… funny. So we gotta ask why?

We’ve been plodding through the last 72 hours or so as if walking through molasses, bummed by the death of Mitch Hedberg. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, we found it oddly comforting to throw “Want One” by Rufus Wainwright on the CD player. We say “oddly,” because it’s somewhat melancholy, so you wouldn think that’d be the last thing you wanna listen to. But at least it’s got a coupla upbeat tracks sprinkled throughout (tracks that the female half of the staff says “keep you from going into a fetal position.”) It’s our official mourning CD.

As an aside: The male half of the staff has a tenuous connection to Wainwright himself– “We share a relative… his half-sister is my first cousin… I think… it’s all somewhat confusing to me… and we’ve never met… so we actually paid for the CD.”)

It was late Monday afternoon when we got the phone call asking us to cobble together a list of “10 great places to sit down and watch stand-up.” We knew that we’d disappoint a lot of people. Lists, by their very nature, disappoint. It’s a list, limited to a tidy number (10 in this case). You can’t please everybody. Everybody knows that. Or do they?

Which clubs should we include? Which should we leave off? What if someone took offense at being left off? So many considerations.

And so many competing interests: We’re comics. We’re journalists (sort of). And we’re comedy fans. Ultimately, we abandoned the first two, because, after all, the article was for travelling Americans, who read USAToday, and it would appear in the newspaper’s Travel section. So we made an honest attempt to assemble a list that would blanket the country and reflect the diverse tastes of American standup comedy fans and consider their diverse habits. In the short time span that we had, we consulted some trusted comics and we decided on a solid list that gave the reporter from USAToday what she wanted.

Of course, we knew that somebody out there would be miffed. The article wasn’t circulating for an entire news cycle before we got an email from Matt Komen, talent coordinator for the Improv Comedy Clubs chain:

I was just sent the link from the article in USA Today and thought that not including any one of the 18 Improvs around the country might have been an April Fool’s joke…

Read the rest of our brief exchange. It’s a fascinating look into what happens when two comics risk the enmity of an entire business by playing ball with the MSM.

There’s another top AP story about how the comics on the stand at the Michael Jackson molestation trial are killing. Our favorite is this exchange between Jackson attorney Mesereau and George Lopez:

Lopez said he visited the sick boy at his grandparents’ home in suburban El Monte, saying he had heard that Palanker had given the family $10,000 to build a germ-free room and he wanted to see it.

Mesereau asked if he thought that was odd.

“I think it’s odd when a comedian has $10,000, period,” Lopez quipped.

From LiveScience.com, comes the news that animals might laugh:

“Indeed, neural circuits for laughter exist in very ancient regions of the brain, and ancestral forms of play and laughter existed in other animals eons before we humans came along with our ‘ha-ha-has’ and verbal repartee,” says Jaak Panksepp, a neuroscientist at Bowling Green State University.

His name, we hasten to point out, is probably pronounced, “yock.” (And the male half of the staff here hastens to point out that Panksepp toils at BGSU, an institution from which the male half of the staff escaped after three years of academic wheel-spinning in their journalism program.) The female half of the staff seems to vaguely recall a SNL sketch called “Wilderness Comedian,” in which a standup comic was depicted making woodland animals chuckle.

“Although no one has investigated the possibility of rat humor, if it exists, it is likely to be heavily laced with slapstick,” Panksepp figures. “Even if adult rodents have no well-developed cognitive sense of humor, young rats have a marvelous sense of fun.”

Young rats, be free tonight! (With apologies to Rod Stewart.) Read the rest.

From his publicist:

Comedian, Mitch Hedberg, died on Wednesday, March 30, 2005, at the age of 37.

A prolific comedian, Mitch rarely stopped touring through more than fifteen years in comedy, building a loyal fan base and recently headlining a 44-city theater tour throughout the U.S.

A true original to the comedy world, Mitch starred in his own Comedy Central special and released the live comedy DVD/CD “Mitch All Together” and the live comedy CD “Strategic Grill Locations.” His distinctive, original comedic delivery made him a favorite on “The Late Show with David Letterman,” “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” and “The Howard Stern Show” and prompted TIME Magazine to include him as one of the next generation of comedic stars.

Mitch wrote, directed and starred in the independent feature film, “Los Enchiladas,” which was screened at the 1999 Sundance Film Festival, and appeared in the feature film “Almost Famous.”

Mitch is survived by his wife, comedian Lynn Shawcroft, his parents Arne and Mary Hedberg of South Maplewood, MN and sisters Wendy Brown and Angie Anderson.

A wake for Mitch Hedberg will be held on Monday, April 4, 2005 from 4:00 – 8:00 PM at Wulff Family Services, Woodlane Mortuary, 2195 Woodlane Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125.

On Tuesday, April 5, visitation for Mitch Hedberg will be held at 10:00 AM with the funeral following at 11:00 AM at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, 4125 Woodbury Drive, Woodbury, MN 55129.

Condolences may be sent to the family in care of Wulff Family Services. Memorials preferred.

Memorials are being planned in Los Angeles and New York.

Just in case anyone is wondering:

Visitation is 4 to 8 p.m. Monday at Woodbury Funeral Chapel, 2195 Woodlane Drive, in Woodbury. Visitation continues an hour before services 11 a.m. Tuesday at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, 4125 Woodbury Drive in Woodbury. The family is asking for memorials in lieu of flowers. Burial will be private.

Michael K. McIntyre of the Cleveland Plain Dealer deserves a reporter yummy for his insightful article on the Bassa Vita open mike in Cleveland.

The comics laugh louder than anyone else. And after the show, they unwind with a beer, some pats on the back and some helpful advice. “It’s funny stuff, man, but you just have to trim those setups,” Dalton – who is revered by the other comics – tells Joe Hannum, a single dad who works in advertising by day and does standup as a hobby when he can get a baby sitter.

Sounds like a supportive atmosphere. We strongly advise even non-Clevelanders to read the whole thing.

There it is, on page 3D, The 10 Greatest Places to Sit Down and Watch Stand-Up, with quotes from Brian McKim and Traci Skene.

A nice press-hit present for the sixth anniversary of the launch of this here publication (Ms. Goodfriend, the author got that wrong by just one teeny, tiny year. And, while we’re picking nits, we did not say that Richard Pryor got his start at the Laugh Factory! Other than that, nice job!) And just to clarify (and dispell the notion that we’re idiots): Under the paragraph that talks about Bear’s Place, it says, “We have to include a one-nighter…” and then it says that Bear’s Place has comedy two nights a week. Hmmm… The technicality is that it’s two one-nighters! They’re not on consecutive nights, so we’re still correct!

Scroll down for your chance to play along at home! There are two postings below this one that solicit your opinion, dear reader, on what the greatest comedy clubs in America (past and present) are/were. Be nice! (And it might afford us all a chance to distract us from the sadness of the last 36 hours or so.)

Hit the “Comments” link at the end of this post to post your list of 10 Great Comedy Clubs in America! To start you off, we’re posting a list submitted by our very own Tom Ryan, who said, “I’m sure as soon as I send this I’ll think of another that I should have included.”

In no particular order…

Denver Comedy Works
Atlanta Punchline
New York Gotham Comedy Club
New York Comedy Cellar
New York Carolines
Irvine Improv
Tempe Improv
Cleveland Hilarities
The Blue Loon – Fairbanks, Alaska
Hermosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club

Eclectic! And geographically diverse as well (even if it is somewhat clumpy around NYC)! Give it a try, people! And please specify if you’re a comedy fan or a comic! (And, if you feel the need to comment or justify a pick or two, keep it brief and breezy!)

Comics and Civilians: Play along at home! Post your list of the Greatest Comedy Clubs (DEFUNCT).Here’s ours:

Wise Guys, Syracuse, NY
Comedy Club, Richmond, VA
Comedy Factory Outlet, Philadelphia, PA
Funny Bone, Buffalo, NY
Comedy Works, (Old City) Phila, PA
Honolulu Comedy Club, Honolulu, HI
Punchline, Charlotte, NC
Winchester’s, Baltimore, MD
Taproom, Ambler, PA (one-nighter)
Chuckles, Mineola, NY

Hit the “Comments” link at the bottom of this posting and you’ll be whisked to the page that will allow you to post your list of The Greatest Comedy Clubs (That are no longer in existence)! Please indicate whether you are a comic or a civilian!

Traci Skene is one-eighth Jewish? It’s a long story, but a very entertaining “Keep It Tight.”

A Jewish friend of mine told me that not all Jews will recognize my Jewishness anyway. Apparently, being Jewish is passed down through the mother and only Reform Jews accept Jewish paternal lineage. So to them, I’m a Jew. To the others, not so much. (It would help if you said the last two lines while doing a serviceable Jackie Mason impression.)

We dare you to resist reading the rest.

Brian McKim liked his recent sojourn to Buffalo. What’s not to like? But, as usual, he can’t resist reminiscing about weird gigs in upstate NY and making grand pronouncements about his experiences past and present. Fortunately, he has a column, “A Coupla Minutes Up Front.”

One of the first people to headline me was a guy named Bob D’Andrea who booked a ghastly little bar named the Outrageous Inn in Rochester. He’d put the comics up in a wretched little motel called the DeNonnville Inn and shuttle them to the club and back. I recall, while waiting for my set in the bar next to the showroom, on one of the nights of my Outrageous engagement, that a fight broke out not six feet away. I was aghast as two or three patrons gang-hugged the troublemaker and danced him past me, with not a half a foot between us, eventually tossing him out into the wicked Rochester night.

Find out what all this has to do with SHECKYmagazine’s recent pronouncement that the standup biz is back to its previous, healthy levels by reading the rest!

Take time to read the latest column from Doug Hecox, Writer of Wrongs, “The Download on the Future of Standup”:

Recognizing comedy’s long history of reliance on technological advancement, I hope to embrace the future by being the first professional comedian to go that logical next step. By incorporating my PDA– an old-school PalmPilot– into my act, I can actually go on stage, “beam” my act via infrared directly to all the PalmPilots and Blackberrys in the audience, bow and get off the stage. I could do a full 25-minute set in about eight seconds, making comedy not only hilarious but very efficient for today’s busy schedules…

Read the rest!

We’re saddened by today’s news here at SHECKYmagazine. We had always thought highly of Mitch Hedberg and we worried about him when we heard the occaasional rumor. But we always hoped that he would be safe. We interviewed him for our December 1999 issue– only our ninth issue ever. And we kept his interview up pretty much ever since then, since there always seemed to be such a high level of interest in it among those who were ‘net-savvy (which, back then, was a relatively small portion of the population).

Along with the news of Mitch’s passing, we got a Google alert that today was Shecky Greene‘s birthday. We were so distracted all day that it wasn’t until we set out to write this post that we realized that was dead wrong– Greene was, by all accounts, born on April 8, 1926. We’ll be in the mood to celebrate next week.

We’ll try to celebrate tomorrow’s two big events– 1) The sixth anniversary of the upload of the very first issue of SHECKYmagazine.com! It was six years ago midnight tonight that we uploaded the files that contained an interview with Bob Zany, a Question 21 with Jim “Klaus” Myers and other comedy-related pieces. 2) USA Today is running a half-page article, “The 10 Greatest Places to See Standup Comedy in America.” We were contacted Monday by a USA Today reporter and asked to assemble the list, which we did after much deliberation and consultation with others.

Shotgun email from XM Satellite Radio:

On April 2nd XM Comedy 150 will feature cuts from Mitch’s recorded works along with interview clips every hour all day Saturday. Then, at 9pm East / 6pm West, join us for an hour long StandUP SitDOWN XM interview special followed by an entire uninterrupted performance recorded at The 40 Watt Club in Athens Georgia. This day long salute to one of comedy’s great talents will be presented as usual….unedited and uncensored.

Celebrate the life and humor of Mitch Hedberg with XM Comedy Channel 150…where Mitch Hedberg’s wit and humor will always be alive and well!

(Update 12:23 PM EST) We have confirmed through two reputable sources that Mitch Hedberg died yesterday, March 30, 2005. A statement will be issued shortly by his representatives.

(Update 12:23 PM EST) We have confirmed through two reputable sources that Mitch Hedberg died yesterday, March 30, 2005. A statement will be issued shortly by his representatives.

We are sad to report that Mitch Hedberg is dead.

We’ve referred to Mitch as one of the few “rock stars” of comedy. We saw him perform at a gala at Just For Laughs in 2001 and it was astonishing to see the reaction of the crowd in the theater that night. Radically different from any other response.

From our Sunday, July 22, 2001, J.F.L. update:

The highlight, though, was seeing Hedberg live. It was like seeing a rock star. The response was tremendous and he was forced to step on the laughter to get all the material in. It was frenzied. To top it all off, he’s a nice guy.

We never did get to see him do an extended set. Our schedules never worked out. We made a half-assed attempt to get one of us (the male half) on the bill when he and Stephen Lynch came to Philly to perform at the Tower Theater late last year, but it never worked out.

We met him in Montreal, just after his gala performance. He was gentle, quick to laugh, seemingly shy– a lot like his onstage persona.

We had the pleasure of interviewing Mitch early on in the magazine’s history (1999?) and that interview put us on the map. For that, we’ll always be grateful.

Shortly after it ran, we recieved an email from Mitch’s mother, requesting a hard copy. We printed it out as best we could and sent it along with a note saying how nice her son was. She was very proud of him and she liked to collect all of his clippings.

To this day, it is one of our most-hit files. We declared, to anyone who would listen, that, more than any comedian who was out there working, Mitch Hedberg inspired an internet buzz, a fan reaction, a loyalty like no other. His fans, owing to their average age or sensibilities perhaps, made him the first comedian to become a WWW star as well as a television and live performance star. We could tell that he was appearing somewhere when the number of hits on that file spiked.

He was one of our favorites here. Our hearts go out to his friends, his family and his loved ones.

Word on the street is that there’s a new club at the Universal Studios theme park in Los Angeles. We hear it’s run by the same folks who run the Bonkerz (with a “z”) in Orlando. This would follow, since the Orlando location is also at that city’s Universal Studios theme park. Here’s the email:

Bonkers Comedy Club is opening a new comedy club at Universal Studios City walk. Grand Opening night is the Friday, though they’re having a sneak preview night tonight for Universal Employees and their friends.

Click here for their website.

Word is that they’ll have a headliner, feature and emcee on Fridays and Saturdays and it will be a showcase room on Thursdays and possibly Wednesdays.

This is the first time in a while that SoCal has opened a new club. But it’s not the first time that there’s been a club at the Universal location. We seem to recall a room there, back in 1992 or so, a Catch, that never quite caught on and only lasted a coupla years, if that. We always found it to be rather somber and quite inconvenient to get to. So, apparently, did the customers. Let’s hope the Bonkers/Bonkers people can overcome that.

We just got an email from Franklyn Ajaye:

My character, “The Nigger General Samuel Fields,” will be introduced this Sunday, April 3, in the first of the four episodes I’ll be in this season, on HBO’s groundbreaking western Deadwood It’s a pretty heavy episode, so please let all your friends know and tune in.

You heard the man! It’s a Tivo/VCR alert! Check your listings for local times!

Chicken chain Popeyes is launching a $30 million “Stand up for flavor” ad campaign, starring comedian Bruce Bruce.

“We’re trying to contemporize and make the brand more relevant,” said CMO Rob Calderin, who joined the Atlanta-based chain in January. “The idea is to get standup comics to riff on stage about Popeyes. Bruce Bruce was [a natural fit] since Popeyes is already part of his act.”

Read the whole thing here.

In the March 20 issue of Showbiz Weekly (the one they hand out in the airport and in the hotel and in the restaurants) there are an extraordinary number of standup comedy shows listed. More even than when we were here last (in August), and certainly more than have been listed… maybe ever.

MAR 25, Joe Rogan at the House of Blues
APR 1, Gilbert Gottfried at the H.O.B.
MAR 23-26, Steven Wright at the Orleans
MAR 25, Louie Anderson at the Alladin
MAR 25, Andrew Dice Clay at the Mandalay Bay
MAR 25, David Spade at the Mirage

Ongoing: David Brenner at the Hilton, George Wallace at the Flamingo, Rita Rudner at New York, New York, Amazing Johnathan at the Riv

And then there’s the clubs:
Improv at Harrah’s
Comedy Stop at the Trop
Comedy Club at the Riv
Comedy Zone at the Plaza

Gallagher opened up a comedy club at the Tuscany. There’s a rumor that at least one booker is contemplating opening yet another room in this town in the fall. And there’s the persistent rumor that The Comedy Store is coming back to Vegas. Catch claims that they’ll have a presence in Vegas before too long. And, as always, there’s Kathleen Dunbar’s Divas of Comedy at the Casbar Lounge in the Sahara.

We’re waiting for our flight. This is Brian at approx. 4:25 PST, in the mezzanine overlooking baggage claim at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. We don’t board for another seven hours or so for our flight back to PHL. Fortunately, there’s free WiFi for all crackling through the air here! (And, fortunately, we bought an 802.11b card last year for just such occasions.)

Joe Lowers just dropped us off (he’s picking up a pair of friends who just flew in from Pittsburgh) so, except for that seven-hour wait, this worked out quite nicely.