Okay. We suspect that they’re making up the rules as they go along. They just extracted two comics from each season and said that one of each of the pairs is safe… and the other is gone. It’s based on voting from last week… but don’t quote us on that. They chose Madigan and Holcomb from Season 2 and Joyce and Kemp from Season 1. Now they’ve “surprised” the teams by asking them to do something totally different from what they did last week… uh… er…

Predictions: Traci says that Joyce and Madigan are gone. She says, “America is determined to deep six the babes.” I say the exact opposite. The babes are staying and Kemp and Holcomb are gone.

Okay… Mohr has just proclaimed Tess and Gary Gulman as “The sexiest couple on television.” Are the producers of The Simpsons writing the script for this show? (From the funny years!)

Now, Alonzo Bodden is on and they’ve told us that there are sixteen different ways of voting. Carrier pigeon has been added, near as we can tell.

The whole thing is making our head hurt. Bring back Rusty the Dog from Season 2! It’s the only thing that can save it! If it can indeed be saved. It may be the end of Reality Television as we know it. Stay tuned.

One of the Founding Fathers of comedy in Philadelphia (He ran the fabled Comedy Works on Chestnut St. for much of the red-hot ’80s), comic and writer Steve Young has hit an ink gusher by publishing a parody of the staid MoveOn.org website.

It was Young, political editor of National Lampoon, who reacted when he heard conservative Fox talk host Bill O’Reilly say, “What is this MoveOn, the next National Lampoon?”

The right, say National Lampoon editors, owns the talk shows. But political satire belongs to the left.

Read the rest here.

Paul Ogata‘s second Big Move is up!

“Hey, you’re the comedian guy,” the voice clarifies.

With nothing to do besides wait for my flight to leave without me, I decide to say hello to a guy who is trying to get my attention. Ah ha! The voice belongs to an airline employee. Perhaps he can help me get to my plane.

“Yeah,” I acknowledge, “that’s me.”

The airline guy gushes, “Man, you were freakin’ funny last time we went to see your show. Where you going?”

Yes! Here was my opportunity. “I’ve got a flight in ten minutes to L.A.,” I tell him. “I got a part in a Damon Wayans movie.”

“Alright!” he cheers me on. Then he looks at this watch, and says, “Eh, you’re gonna miss your flight, brah.”

Will he make the flight? Find out here.

The MDA Labor Day Telethon kinda snuck up on us. Bob Zany is hosting right now. He’s been a regular performer on the annual fundraiser and has been taking over some of the host duties from Jerry Lewis in recent years.

P.S. Associated Press is reporting that Rodney will make a full recovery.

LOS ANGELES – Comedian Rodney Dangerfield (news) is expected to make a full recovery from his heart valve replacement surgery but remained in intensive care Sunday, his publicist said.

Ready for a fresh flip on standup comedy? We didn’t think so.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter)- The street art of baggin’– urban slang for targeting sarcastic jokes at someone– is coming to television with a reality show hosted by Ralphie May of Last Comic Standing.

Born on street corners and in barbershops across the country, baggin’ includes the popular “your momma” one-liners, and no topic is off-limits…

…Baggin’, from producer Claude Brooks, features contestants of various backgrounds and ethnicities going through one-on-one rounds of baggin’ until one of them wins.

The contestants perform in front of an audience, which determines the winner, with May, well known for his baggin’ abilities, cranking up the heat during the face-offs.

Wasn’t this called “Snaps” about ten years ago? And before that, wasn’t it called “doin’ the dozens?” And, before that, I think we called it “making fun of people?” (Or, if you prefer, “makin’ fun o’ people.”) The worst part of the story is when Brooks calls his baby, “s a fresh flip on stand-up comedy.” It always amazes us that everyone is always so anxious to do something to standup comedy, rather than merely present professional and competent standup comics doing standup well in a setting that lends itself to the art/craft of standup comedy. We would love to be present at the pitch meeting at one of the major networks when Mr. Brooks says that “no topic is off-limits.” Read the rest here.

CBS is floating not one but four possible replacements for the departed Craig Kilborn. In an article that’s popping up in all the daily newspapers, Amy Sedaris, Ian Michael Black, Jim Rome and D.L. Hughley are being batted around.

Here’s an odd coincidence: When speculating on Kilborn’s life after Late Late Show, we speculated that he’d do well to host a show that utilized his love of professional sport and his interviewing skills… and we suggested that such a show might be The Jim Rome Show but with the sense of humor that Rome so sorely lacks. Now, it seems that the folks at CBS are considering the mirror opposite– Late Late Show, hosted by Jim Rome, without a sense of humor!

We linked to a column in the Las Vegas Sun last week, but we hosed up the URL on it, so when you clicked on it, you went NOWHERE! Below it is corrected.

Hit lasvegassun.com then hit “Accent” then hit “Columnists” then seek out the column by Lisa Ferguson.

Also in that column was an item about how the Zone is back at the Plaza downtown. We had reported in an earlier posting that the Zone was down indefinitely. (That’s the last time we take the word of someone who works in the cashier’s cage!)

Following a complete showroom and operational revamp, the Comedy Zone at the Plaza is set to reopen on Tuesday, with Russ Nagel and Tim Rowlands on the bill. Showtimes are 8 and 10 p.m. nightly (dark Mondays); tickets are $21.95.

Things aren’t looking good for Rodney. Then again, this would be his fourth hospitalization since March 2000. Stay tuned.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – More than a week after undergoing heart surgery, comedian Rodney Dangerfield remains hospitalized in intensive care and hooked to a respirator, his publicist said on Thursday.

The 82-year-old comic– famed for his self-deprecating one-liners and the catch phrase, “I can’t get no respect”– underwent a heart valve replacement at the UCLA Medical Center last Wednesday.

According to a story in the Miami Herald Andrew Dorfman is shuttering Uncle Funny’s Comedy Club and opening a new, bigger club at the Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood, FL, which opened on May 11.

Dorfman said he will work with Joel Bachkoff, owner of Miami’s Improv comedy club, to try to line up big names– from Jerry Seinfeld to Chris Rock.

Bachkoff said they will invest more than $1 million in the new club.

John Heffron, in his own words, in the August 30, 2004, issue (#498) of US Weekly, on the rapid re-start of the L.C.S. treadmill:

I really got hosed! …I could get booted out the first week of the new season. When I tell people I won Last Comic, they’ll say, “Oh, this last one?” And I’ll be like, “No, the one before that!” Already I should be signing autographs at an RV Camper show.

There’s an item on the Fox News website about how it’s okay to be a comedian who comes from the right. It’s an interesting article if you ignore the hot air from the psychologist dude.

The comics whose names begin with “K” are gone. We’re having trouble with Blogger, so our previous post didn’t make it… the one where Traci predicted that Vos and Heffron didn’t make it and the one where Brian said that Kirson and Tess were gone. Mind you, our predictions were not based on the relative merits or talents of the comics, but on the quirks and capricious nature of the American public.

Stay tuned.

What was that? Or, as the kids say, (or, as Ralphie May might say) What’s up wid dat?! We’re referring to the announcement that May made shortly before he launched into his set on the first episode of Season III. Something about his father dying the day before (We don’t have TiVo!). Now, don’t get us wrong. (DO NOT GET US WRONG.) We sympathize. We’ve gone on stage, in the clothes we wore to the funeral that day, and done our thing mere hours after putting a loved one in the ground, so we’re not unsympathetic when a comic loses a loved one and is required to perform. But May did his thing on national television, in a contest, where tons of money and notoriety were at stake. And he told old jokes! With tears streaming down his face. We felt bad for him. But we also felt bad for Todd Glass who had to follow him. And we felt bad for Tammy Pescatelli who was up against him, sort of (We think…remember– we don’t have TiVo). Now, everybody has a different way of dealing with a contest. And everybody has a different way of dealing with grief. But, if Mr. May was too distraught to perform his usual set, maybe he should have consulted with the LCS Officials and maybe begged off for this week’s competition. Maybe? Are we being too hard on Mr. May? Perhaps.

Hmmm… We’re watching Episode II and they’ve just read the results. It seems that Team Two won. Perhaps all this is tears under the bridge. We’ll see how it shapes up and see who get exiled, who gets booted. Stay tuned.

Rabbi Bob Alper dropped us a line to let us know that he’s qvelling (Yiddish for “exceptionally proud”) to hear the news that Ahmed Ahmed is the winner of the first Richard Pryor Award at the Edinburgh Fringe. (Read all about it here and here.) Alper, you may recall, was comedy partners with Ahmed Ahmed, when the two toured America together shortly after 9-11, garnering plenty of ink and acclaim. Richard Pryor is quoted of saying that Ahmed, “makes people confront their racism and small minds. I see genius in this man.” Oh, I think he’ll be able to find room for that somewhere in the ol’ press kit!

Ever wondered where the gigs are in France? Pretty dopey question, we know. Anyway, there’s a gig in Paris… at the Hotel du Nord… and they book American comics… and you don’t hafta speak French to work the gig. Laughing Matters is the outfit that books it. Coming up in September is Jimeoin, who is, according to the Laughing Matters website, “acclaimed as one of the hottest stand-up comics on Australia’s live and television circuits.” We can attest to this statement, as when we visited Australia in 1991, we ran into Jimoein on the streets of Sydney, in the Kings Cross section of town. (Small bloody world, yeah?) We recognized him because we had seen him on a TV talk show the night before. Turns out he’s Irish and he lives in Sydney… and next month, he’ll be gigging in Paris.

Courtesy of Mediaweek.com, one of the cooler websites out there:

On this first evening minus The 2004 Summer Olympics, although the 90-minute, fifth-season premiere of NBC’s Fear Factor was third in the overnights (7.4/11), the now veteran reality series was first in both total viewers (10.90 million) and adults 18-49 (4.5/13) from 8-9:30 p.m. As I mentioned yesterday, Fear Factor remains the show to beat Monday at 8 p.m. next season. At 9:30 p.m., the third-season premiere of Last Comic Standing was third in the overnights (5.3/ 8) and total viewers (7.78 million), but second among adults 18-49 (3.8/10) from 9:30-11 p.m. Retention for Last Comic Standing out of Fear Factor was a respectable 84 percent among adults 18-49.

It took them 11 minutes and 40 seconds to mention Bonnie McFarlane‘s absence. They hadda. When Screaming Jay Mohr did eventually address the situation, they used it as an opportunity to welcome the substitute, Jessica Kirson, the hyperactive New Yorker. The confusing melange of rules and regs for the Season III format is headache-inducing and not important. It will result in the winning team splitting $50,000. I think. Or maybe $50,000 each week. It’s all very sad. Couldn’t they have foreseen that America would want to see a new set of 10? Couldn’t they have planned for a third season?

It’s taking on many of the characteristics of pro wrestling now. And not nearly as entertaining and without all the fake blood. (That would be your sarcasm.) Huh? The rest are performing tomorrow night? Did Jay Mohr just say that? (Please don’t post at the end of this with an explanation of the rules. We’re not interested in understanding them.) We’re sure the rules will lose their mystery as the eight-week run goes on.

Did they intentionally choose a sub for Bonnie that was the polar opposite of Bonnie? Did they employ some sort of formula? And couldn’t they have found someone who can tell time? Like someone who knows how long two minutes is? They turn off the mike after two minutes… literally turn it off! It’s all such a sorry spectacle. Maybe it will improve. Stay tuned. Maybe we’re just tired.

Does he hafta call it “the battle of the best?” We’re cranky. I’m sure we’ll happy up in subsequent episodes.

Friend of SHECKYmagazine Dan Rosenberg writes:

We are very excited to let you know that THE COMEDY DISTRICT is opening Wednesday September 1, 2004. We are not doing a huge “grand opening” until November (don’t worry, you’ll be invited!) but we will start our regular weekly schedule as of Wednesday.

Here is the schedule:

WED: OPEN MIKE 8:15pm NO COVER (Comics wanting to perform, sign ups are from 7:45pm until 8:15pm.) A true open mike and a lot of fun!

THURS: PRO/AM Showcase. 8:15pm $10.

FRI and SAT: National Headliners. 10:15pm $15.

Please come by and say hi this weekend. Oh yeah, NO DRINK MINIMUM and FREE PARKING!!!

Comedians looking for bookings, please stop by, say hi and drop off a tape at one of the shows, or even better, come do a spot at the Wednesday open mike.

The club is located in Culver City at 9543 Culver Blvd (inside San Gennaro Cafe) The room has been remodeled and is a great intimate space.

We would love to have you come join us for a FREE show this weekend. Please visit www.thecomedydistrict.com/viptix.htm to order your free tickets.

Thanks!

Dan Rosenberg and Burt Teplitzky
The Comedy District
www.thecomedydistrict.com

Obviously, this is a press release. When Mr. Rosenberg writes to us, his style is usually much more…breezy. In fact, when we hit town (L.A., that is) last Tuesday, we hunted him down at Marv & Mary’s (a funky open mike at a Mexican restaurant in West L.A.) and he took us over to Culver City to see the progress on the club. The District will be a welcome addition to the scene in L.A.!

Hit lasvegassun.com then hit “Accent” then hit “Columnists” then seek out the column by Lisa Ferguson. Her Laugh Lines column appears every Friday. It’s always about comedy. In her most recent column, on August 27, she wrote this:

Traci Skene celebrates her 39th birthday today. The comedian — who, along with her stand-up comic husband, Brian McKim, is the co-founder, co-editor and co-publisher of online comedy Web site SHECKYmagazine (www.sheckymagazine.com) — guested for several weeks earlier this month in “Divas of Comedy” at Sahara. The couple, who call Haddon Heights, N.J., home, update their magazine daily and continue to perform stand-up about 200 nights per year.

She also wrote about Shelly McCarty, who runs a comedy night off the strip. She’s a great source of info about standup in the Vegas!

Of the tour that pairs Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Lynch, the press release says, “Comedy fans won’t find a cooler more sublime comedy show all year.” Clear Channel has arranged an ambitious tour of the two comics, calling them “Comedy Central favorites.” Check out the sked below, comedy fans!

Yes. Tom Ryan has confirmed that he has been bumped. Not enough time at the end of the taping. But he has been assured that his appearance will be re-scheduled and that he’ll let us know when that re-scheduled date is!

CBS Television City, where they tape what is referred to as “Kilborn.”

As our 28-day road trip comes to an end, we’re also wrapping up our brief foray into southern California. Wednesday’s weather was about as perfect as one could experience without having to fly to Honolulu. We took advantage of the sunshine and the perfect temp by visiting one of our dearest friends– Burbank. (We lived there for five years. We try to say hello when we can.) After dining al fresco and sucking down a cup of Starbucks (Sorry, anarchists, collectivists and anti-capitalist conspiracy cranks, but we loves them Starbucks!) we made our way over to the Burbank HQ of Hero Product Placement. Hero’s principals are “The O’s”– SHECKYmagazine readers know them as Steeves and Mrs. Steeves (actually, Julie). Their product placement venture has been going great guns for seven years now. We were treated to a tour of their spacious facilities over near the Burbank Airport and we tried, unsuccessfully, to catch up on all that has transpired since our last visit with Steeves!

Our visit was all too brief. We departed and headed over the hills via Laurel Canyon to CBS Television City, as we made arrangements with Late Late Show staff writer (and SHECKYmagazine columnist) Dan French to view a taping (the next to next to last taping!) of what has come to be know simply as “Kilborn.” We weren’t in the spacious (and well-stocked) green room for more than five minutes when Steve Gelder showed up (see photo). He resides in L.A. now, mainly writing. A party atmosphere briefly erupted after Mr. French appeared and taping neared. Bob Saget swang through briefly to scoop up some of the farfalle with chicken and pesto before making a “surprise visit” to Craigers. Eventually, we were escorted by the audience wrangler to our seats in the studio. Comics make lousy audience members at these tapings, but we went in anyway. (Was it absolutely necessary to put us in the first row?!) We watched as Saget, Carl Reiner, Cole Hauser and Diane Druger (the gal who played Helen of Troy in “Troy”) came out and did their guest spots. The taping was a well-oiled machine. (And that Gelder did a hilarious– and wildly insincere– parody of a frothing, ferocious audience member. At least we hope it was insincere! At any rate, it made us look bad by comparison. All that clapping is suprisingly exhausting!)

Steve Gelder and Kilborn staffer Dan French in the green room at Kilborn

OXYGEN IN THE CONTRACT?

Soon, we’ll head to Flagstaff for Traci’s gig at Northern Arizona University on Friday night. One part of Traci’s contract for her NAU gig stood out:

#25. Flagstaff is at an elevation of 7,000 ft. above sea level. If artist will require oxygen, arrangements must be made directly between Artist/Agency and an appropriate vendor.” Traci is kicking herself for not asking for oxygen.

“But,” she says, “Who knows if you’re going to require oxygen if you’ve never performed at 7,000 ft. above sea level?!” It would have been quite a spectacle if she had arranged for oxygen and actually sucked it down throughout her set. We hear that Rodney required oxygen when he visited Aspen for the USCAF.

CELEBRITY SPOT, PT. II

We were checking our email and getting some business done in the Burbank Kinko’s upon hitting town Tuesday afternoon when we spotted someone who looked familiar two cubicles over– Jane Wiedlin of the Go Go’s. (She was the one with the short, black hair.) The main reason we were able to I.D. her is that she looks exactly as she did in 1983!

Editors NOTE: We’re in Flagstaff right now… we fly outta Vegas tomorrow… we’ll be posting a final L.A. experience posting and wrapping our trip up when we get back to SHECKYmagazine.com HQ… look for another update in 48 hours!!

SHECKYmagazine.com columnist Tom Ryan will appear on Late Show With David Letterman tomorrow (Friday) night! Here’s something fun to do: Before you watch Tom’s set tomorrow night, read Tom’s excellent first-hand account of his very first Letterman shot by clicking here! It’s just like being there in the green room!

From NBC’s website (via Sharilyn Johnson):

During a special 90-minute premiere episode, comics from season 1 and 2 will return for a battle of the best. Following performances from some of the comics, viewers will place their first votes for which comic should be eliminated as the comics begin their quest for over $500,000.

Since nearly all the comics from seasons 1 and 2 are on lengthy personal appearance tours, we’re at a loss to figure out how that wily Jay Mohr will structure this season’s contest.

In another unrelated note: In an item speculating as to who might replace Craig Kilborn as host of Late Late Show, we referred to NBC twice, when we knew darn well it was CBS that airs the show. We have a perfectly good excuse if you’d like to hear it: For as long as we could remember, the big three channels in the Philadelphia market were 3, 6 and 10, which were NBC, ABC and CBS, respectively. Then, about 10 years ago, when CBS and Westinghouse merged, and since Westinghouse owned 3, the FCC made the new entity divest itself of 3… or was it 10? To make matters more confusing, they merely swapped facilities! So now all the people who usta work at 3 were now on 10 and vice versa. Our brains are permanently scrambled. Example: When Letterman was on NBC, he could be found on channel 3. Then he switched to CBS. Then, a couple years later, he was on 3, but he’s on CBS. It’s been eight years, but confusion still reigns! Can’t they all just switch back?!

Rodney Dangerfield was admitted on Tuesday to a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery. It figures he’d have a a priceless quote.

The 82-year-old comedian quipped that he planned on a brief hospital stay. “If things go right, I’ll be there about a week, and if things don’t go right, I’ll be there about an hour and a half,” he said.

Concise, witty, somewhat dark. Rodney. We saw Rodney on Kimmel recently. He looked great. We hope he’s okay.

We have it on good authority that Bonnie McFarlane will not participate in Last Comic Standing III. That’s right, our own Bonnie McFarlane has opted not to participate in the third season of the NBC reality series. As far as we know, she’s the only one from either house to say no. We’ll keep you posted if/when we know more.

Over the cybertransom comes a press release from the folks at the USCAF:

Every year the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival showcases the most cutting edge comedy in the areas of stand-up, sketch, theater, alternative and one person shows.

To be considered for the 2005 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival please submit your material (DVD, VHS tape, press kit, written materials, upcoming performance schedules, articles, etc.) to the address listed below making sure to include the best means of contacting you (e-mail, phone, address, agent, manager, publicist, etc.) Submissions will also be accepted via E-Mail at USCAFTalent@hbo.com. Once we’ve received and reviewed your material, we will contact you if we are interested in potentially booking you for the Festival. Submissions will be accepted beginning July 1, 2004 and ending November 1, 2004. Please note that submission materials will not be returned.

Also, periodically check this website for announcements and information regarding the Festival.

Mailing address:

USCAF Talent Department
2500 Broadway
Suite 400
Santa Monica, CA 90404
E-mail: USCAFTalent@hbo.com

A BRIEF FORAY INTO SOUTHEASTERN ARIZONA

Traci Skene poses at the Windemere Hotel in Sierra Vista Hotel with show producer Amy Blackwell
We had the extreme pleasure of working in Sierra Vista, AZ, last weekend. It wasn’t the first time we worked for/with comedian/producer Amy Blackwell— several years ago, we worked with her in the surreal burg of Kingman, AZ.

I THINK “HIP AND MODERN,” I THINK “ELLEN DEGENERES”

The following came from Variety, via Tommy James:

(Jerry)Weintraub and Warner Bros. have set Ellen DeGeneres to star in a remake of the 1977 comedy “Oh, God!” DeGeneres will play the title character, a role originally performed by George Burns.

Weintraub produced the original “Oh, God!,” which also starred John Denver and spawned two sequels. Weintraub said he could never figure out how to remake a film in a way that would flatter the original. He was recently approached by DeGeneres, however, and was impressed by her take. Then he got the blessing of the original’s director, Carl Reiner, and writer Larry Gelbart.

“Ellen is a strong comedienne and she has always done material about God and questions about God,” said Weintraub. “She will help us with the writing, and using her will allow us to do a proper 2005 view of ‘Oh God!’ that is hip and modern.”

Even Degeneres herself would tell you that she is neither hip nor modern. Read the whole thing.

Atop the Stratoshpere. Not: Steve Wynn’s new place is going up just over Brian’s left shoulder

We’re headed into Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon…we’re in Vegas right now. The only obligation we have right now is hagning out at a taping of Late Late Show on Wednesday (Franklyn Ajaye is scheduled to be on that show and our own Dan French is on the staff, so we’re looking forward to it. We’re going to try to hang at the Improv on Thursday night. Outside of that, we got nothing. Sure, this is short notice, but that’s just the way it worked out. It is hoped that we’ll be visiting L.A. more frequently in the coming months, but right here and now, we hope to be hanging out there for the 60 hours starting tomorrow afternoon. If you’re in town, send us an email!! Thanks!

There’s a quote at the beginning of Chris Rock‘s 1997 book “Rock This.” It’s unattributed, but we assume it’s Rock’s quote, and it’s just floating there on the page by itself, in italics.

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he’s a bit different from everyone else. It’s like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, “Hey. Do you see that ghost?” And he says, “What ghost?”

The book pretty much goes downhill from there, but the above quote is worth the buck we paid for it at a thrift shop in Reno. Rock had already starred in CB4 and Boomerang, and he had his HBO show going, so it’s a wonder that Hyperion didn’t demand a better book than this. Maybe Rock himself should have demanded a better book.

A sharp-eyed reader points out that Jake Johannsen is spelled with two “n’s” and an “e” and that his official website is www.jakethis.com.

CHANDLER,AZ–We’re more than halfway to our gig in Sierra Vista (Friday and Saturday). In a Fairfield just south of Phoenix. We set out from the Los Angeles basin just before rush hour is supposed to begin, according to Tommy James. (It had been so long since we’d visited L.A.– since September 2000 to be exact– that we forgot most of the traffic avoidance knowledge we had acquired during our five-year tenure, from ’88 to ’93, so we took Tommy’s word for it.) We encountered a bit of squeeziness on the 10, but nothing of any consequence. We made it here in a respectable six hours.

We had been in L.A. for just slightly more than 24 hours. And, even though we gave them such short notice, the Jameses were more than happy to let us stay at their abode. We decided to hit the Improv and hang in one place for Wednesday– streamlined hanging after a grueling four-hour trek through the desert from Vegas.

These would be three of the people who showed up at the Melrose club: Adam Gropman, Mark Saldana and Tommy James

Tommmy had a gig in the Valley, so he dropped us at the club. Shortly after we arrived, the first show of the evening was letting out– a Nickelodeon showcase that featured kid comics! The horror! Don’t get us started.

The second show was a showcase arranged by Ron Reid… the Seattle Ron Reid. Forgive us– we don’t have all their names! We’ll make an effort to find out who they were. We do know for a fact that one of them was Alicia Wood, whom we had met a few years earlier in her home club, the Seattle Underground (or at least it was her home club then).

These would be Peter Grumbine and Alicia Wood

We know we’re kinda short on details and atmoshpere here, but we’re slightly exhausted… we’ve traveled quite a bit over the last three days or so: Reno to Vegas to L.A. to Chandler! We can say that Jake Johanson/Johansen was there and did a set last night. (There’s some controversy as to how that last name is spelled. Laugh.com spells it with an “o”, the Improv site spells it with an “e” and we’ll be damned if we can find Jake’s official site!)

You Say Irisitis, I Say Iritis

Speaking of spelling, we were startled to find out that Tommy James’ affliction, the one that nearly caused him to go blind is actually spelled “iritis.” This demonstrates the unreliability of the internet when it comes to verifying spelling. We Googled both “irisitis” and “iritis” and both come up in listings. Merriam-Webster only lists the latter. (We’re perplexed– we know that “itis” denotes inflammation, but we figured that inflammation of the iris would be “irisitis.” Read about Tommy’s affliction in one of his more popular Big Move columns here. Some time in the near future, we’ll correct the spelling! (For the record, Tommy turned in his copy with the word in question spelled correctly! It was we who changed it.)

Speaking of Tommy James and Adam Gropman: The comedy room they collaborate on got written up in the La Cañada Valley Sun newspaper!

Richard Mados, owner of the coffee house, had been looking to add entertainment to his business. He advertised, and stand-up comedian Adam Gropman approached him. Within weeks the pair developed a show under the premise of bringing established comics to the bedroom community of La Cañada, “away from the whole Hollywood vibe, where there really wasn’t anything else like it nearby,” as Gropman tells it.

Read all about it by clicking here.

What’s In Your Wallet?

We fueled up for our ride back through the desert by eating at the Baja Fresh at LaBrea and Santa Monica. While we were downing our Dos Manos Burrito, we espied none other than Drew Carey at the ATM machine. We didn’t have any biz cards at the ready, so we couldn’t make a pitch for interviewing him. We figure maybe we’ll just bug Messina when we come back into town next week!

Escape To Los Angeles, Pt. II

Our trip to L.A. was rather impulsive, with no notice and over in a matter of 24 hours or so. We did it that way because… well, we just did. However, be advised SHECKYmagazine fans: We return to Los Angeles NEXT WEEK! Tune into this very website for details! Make plans to hang! We look forward to seeing some of the folks we haven’t seen in years!

We’re staying over in Vegas one more day before pushing off for our first of two brief forays into SoCal. We’re downtown at the Lady Luck. We popped on over to the Plaza (Site of the fabulous SHECKYmagazine.Comics Only Reunion in ’01! Should we have another one?!?!) and we learned that the Comedy Zone, normally in the cleverly named Plaza Showroom is, according to the guy in the Cashier’s Cage, temporarily dark pending relocation inside the Plaza. He said that it’s been dark for two weeks and that there is no tentative re-open date. This being Vegas, we’re figuring that it’s permanent lights out for the Zone in Vegas… at least at the Plaza. The Plaza’s marquee heralds the arrival of Dick Clark’s Rock Roll and Remember. Hmmm… Stay Tuned.

It’s time to change the caption on the giant photo behind the front desk at the Sahara. “Bob Hope, Johnny Carson and Buddy Hackett. Who’s the funniest man alive? You be the judge,” it says. Of course, the only one alive is Carson, so he wins this little competition by default. The Sahara, marooned at the end of the strip, is doing all they can to attract a crowd. They’re doing a tremendous job of hearkening back to their past by posting giant, cool black and white pics of all the cool people who’ve made the Sahara their home over the years.

A reader writes:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am the General Manager for Catch A Rising Star in Albuquerque, NM (Yes, this is where Jay London performed. yes, it would’ve helped for him to mention our name. Anyway…) I would like to get a listing on the website with information about our new club. We have been in downtown Albuquerque for 5 weeks now, since July 15th and any support you can give in terms of your listing would be greatly appreciated.

Here’s the information:

Catch A Rising Star Comedy Club inside Puccini’s Golden West Saloon on 7th and Central Ave. SW. Club number is 505.243.9699
Showtimes are 7:30 pm and 9:15 pm Thursday – Saturday.
Please let me know if you need any other information and thanks again for your support.

Sincerely,
Denise L. Grey
General Manager
Catch A Rising Star Comedy Club
Albuquerque, NM

We reply: We’ll be updating the Club Listing page soon… We like to let a few build up, and then do them all at once. Thanks!

Traci was watching that Regis & Kelly show and said that John Heffron was the subject of their daily “Travel Trivia question. The lucky caller correctly identified (with a guess!) that Detroit was Heffron’s hometown, as stated by him on the previous day’s show. The caller won a trip to Hawaii and $3,000 worth of appliances. Who, among the L.C.S.ers is making the biggest impression out there in Cyber-America? Well, it ain’t scientific, but a cursory examination of our top ten “search keyphrases” (it’s one of the many stats we have access to here at SHECKYmagazine.com) reveals the following:

bonnie mcfarlane
gary gulman
mitch hedberg
lewis black
dick cavett
shecky magazine
shecky
alonzo bodden
last comic standing
kathleen madigan

We’d like to remind all you SHECKYmagazine.com readers that the poll is still up and collecting data. We wanna know how long you’ve been doing comedy. The poll’s over there —–> and, even if you have never set foot on a stage, you can still check the top answer (“Never Done It”).

DISSED BY THE DEAF!

Some of you may recall that we were anticipating doing a Saturday late show at the Sands Regency for the hearing impaired people who were staying at the hotel. Comic and club manager James Bean even arranged for a signer (that’s sign-er, as in “one who signs, not sing-er, as in “one who sings”) to interpret our acts for the folks who can’t hear. Well, not one deaf person showed up (Again we ask, is “deaf” regarded as a pejorative term among the HI crowd?) and we even got stood up by the signer! No matter, though– we had a healthy and appreciative crowd of non-HI fans show up. Would have been quite a challenge, though! We were really looking forward to it. And Cris Clobber, who was performing over at the Silver Legacy, gave us some good pointers, should we ever actually perform for the HI.

“No, not tonight, thank you…”

Can a person be too polite? This is the question we are asking today. Last night, at 12:44 AM, the phone here in our room at the Sahara rang. Who the…? Brian answered. Traci heard Brian say, “No, not tonight, thank you…” before hanging up. She thought it might be housekeeping… but at 12:44 AM? Turns out it was “Vanessa,” asking if Brian “would like a woman sent to the room?” Upon learning the true nature of the caller, Traci would have preferred an answer more along the lines of “I most certainly do not want some trollop sent up to my room! Filthy whore! I and my lovely wife are appalled at your offer! Good day!” After receiving a message this morning from “Summer” making pretty much the same offer, we concluded that hookers are in season here in Vegas. Perhaps it’s the Associated Surplus Dealers/Associated Merchandise Dealers convention that’s dominating the town this week (and driving up hotel room rates!) that’s responsible for the increaased hooker chatter. You know those retailers…

We hopped on over to Catch at the Silver Legacy to snap a pic of Cris Clobber and Joby Saad and maybe get in Carrot Top‘s face. (“The Top” was playing in the huge sub-terranean showroom at the Legacy. We caught the last 50 seconds of his huge production– He was prancing around onstage, shirtless, draped in a British flag, doing an impression of Mick Jagger.) Progress on the closed captioned show at the Sands is coming along. We’ll keep you posted.

Reno has turned back into the wild, wild west– We walked over to the Cal-Neva for a dog and a beer. Just as we were approaching the main entrance, an altercation erupted on the street just outside the Cal-Neva and followed us into the casino. As we cowered behind a bank of slot machines (We figure a slot machine will stop a small-caliber bullet!), the tussle briefly disturbed a blackjack table and briefly interrupted the action at the tables. When we exited 15 minutes later, four or five of Reno’s police cruisers had the entire rumble under control. We never did get that dog. We opted for a late-night snack at Mel’s Diner at the Sands. That pleasant experience ended with Traci picking a drunk up off the floor at the table across the aisle from us. When he finally righted himself he muttered slowly, “I’m… fucked… up.”

Our favorite quote of the road trip so far (a ten-year-old boy to his father, poolside at the River Palms): “Well, Dad, you can’t live with her, you can’t chop her up into thirty pieces and put her in the Dumpster.”

No, that’s not a typo in the title… but more about that later.

While Brian was onstage at the Just For Laughs comedy club here at the Sands Regency in Reno, Traci was chilling in the hotel room, surveying the Thursday night offerings via crappy cable. Being the editor and publisher of the WWW’s M.B.M.A.S.C.*, she manages to catch any/all standup-related TV programming… it’s spooky almost, like a One Degree Of Separation from standup comedy game.

LAST COMIC STANDING

Congratulations to John Heffron for being the last comic standing. (Someone tell us where the payoff is for Mr. Heffron! NBC has announced that he and the 19 others who’ve made it to the house over the last two seasons will slug it out in L.C.S. III. He’ll wear the crown for only ten weeks! Unless he wins again! (That’s not likely. We’ll go out on a limb here and predict that Ralphie May will “win” L.C.S. III.)

Traci: “If Ralphie May is going to pretend to be black, he might as well pretend to be thin! Or female! They all slammed Dat Phan for being so calculated, yet they let Ralphie May off the hook! I’m not slamming either one on their ability to do standup, but they’re both extremely contrived. And in his routine on the final episode, Phan complains that he’s being typecast as an Asian with an accent… when it was the Asian with an accent character that endeared him to millions and enabled him to be the first Last Comic Standing!”

We gotta admire Alonzon Bodden, though. He came out and met his chat room critics head-on by saying, and we’re paraphrasing here, “There’s no such thing as a mean joke. It’s either funny, or it’s not funny. If I hear a funny joke, I laugh. I don’t form a focus group to find out if anybody got hurt.” He also complained, bitterly but to humorous effect, about the criticism that he did too much material about being black. “I am black!” he said, somewhat bemused, somewhat exasperated.

LATE LATE SHOW…WITHOUT CRAIG KILBORN!

First New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, now Craig Kilborn! A gay affair? No! A resignation! We were stunned to hear that Kilborn is leaving the show in two weeks! (Read about it here.) We hear it has something to do with money… Anyway, we nominate Jimmy Pardo to take over the position left vacant by Kilborn’s exit. Or Dave Chapelle! NBC is talking about snaring Conan.

BALDERDASH!

Speaking of Jimmy Pardo, Skene caught him in her TV dragnet last night, spotting him as one of the celebrity panelists on Elayne Boosler‘s game show Balderdash (a show we told you about on these very pages just months ago)! Also on the panel were Eric Roberts and Tammy Pescatelli. Pardo managed to upstage Roberts. He parodies the show biz thing to tremendous comic effect. Perhaps because he does the show biz thing so well. If, while watching a parody, you must occasionally question if it is indeed a parody, you’re witnessing the finest parody there is. (Memo to NBC: Pardo hosting Late Late Show, with Jim Gaffigan as the sidekick. With They Might Be Giants as the house band. Just John and John, no backup.)

CELEBRITY BOXING?

What does Celebrity Boxing have to do with standup comedy? Take a look at the undercard: When the person beating the crap out of aging 70’s-era gymnastic icon Olga Korbut is none other than Darva Conger– your One Degree of Separationg leads to Rick Rockwell, whom Conger married as part of Fox’s Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire. Need another standup connection? How about the Main Event: Ron Pallilo (TV’s Horshack) going toe-to-toe with Dustin Diamond, (Screech from Saved By The Bell), who, we recall, hit the comedy club circuit a few years back with less than satisfying results. (We hear he handled it all with grace and generosity, however… the comedy circuit, that is.) Skene notes that the ring announcer, Philly-born ex-model, Michael Buffer (“Let’s get ready to rummmmbbblllle!”), prefaced the whole sordid affair by taking a moment “to honor America with the singing of the national anthem…” If they truly wanted to honor America, Skene said, “they might consider cancelling Celebrity Boxing! It makes Man Vs. Beast look like Masterpiece Theater!”

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Skene also spotted one of our favorites, Ron White on Blue Collar TCV, the Jeff Foxworthy headed sketch show. We were wondering why White wasn’t included in all the pre-premiere hype of the WB show. (Or is it UPN? We get them confused!) But there he was! Smoking and drinking, too! On TV! In primetime! Like or not, the show, Skene says, “is damn consistent. It does what it wants to do and does it well. Ya gotta admire its consistency!”

Sands Regency Hosts Hearing Impaired Group!

The hotel is rapidly filling with hearing-impaired folks. (We’re not sure what the occasion is, but judging from the numbers, we’re certain it’s not a coincidence!) Just For Laughs host/house emcee James Bean is scouting around for a crack signer– someone proficient in American Sign Language– who might be recruited to stand onstage during our sets and sign our acts to the hearing impaired in attendance, maybe at a special late night Friday or Saturday show! We’ve performed in blackouts, we’ve performed without a sound system; this would be a challenge on a grand scale. We’ll keep you posted on the eventual outcome!

Also performing in Reno: Jimmy Pardo, Chipper Lowell (at the Improv in Tahoe), Chirs Clobber, Joby Saad (Catch at the Silver Legacy), and in the big rooms this weekend are Carrot Top at the Silver Legacy and Louie Anderson at John Ascuaga’s Nugget.

From the feature in Thursday’s Reno-Gazette Journal:

“After a concert, I get comments like, ‘Wow, the show’s a lot better than I thought it’d be, a lot smarter, bigger.'”

From the same paper, different feature:

“The first time on stage, I wasn’t as nervous as you might expect,” Anderson said, “I remember that whatever jitters I felt were overwhelmed by the exciting prospect of all the attention and love seated in front of me. With the first laugh, I knew I was hooked– a junkie for life.”

* The WWW’s most beloved magazine about standup comedy, hereinafter to be denoted by the acronym WWWMBMASC.

1) Heffron
2) Alonzo
3) Gulman

From an email… from a reader… we uploaded it as fast as we could!

Here’s the schedule for the “I’m Still Standing Tour,” starring Jay London, Alonzo Bodden and Gary Gulman

Tampa Improv– Aug. 19th to 22nd
Pittsburgh Improv– Aug. 26th to 29th
Tempe Improv– Sept. 2nd to 5th
Zanies in Downtown Chicago– Sept. 9th
Zanies in Vernon Hills– Sept. 10th & 11th
Zanies in St. Charles– Sept. 12th
Zanies in Nashville– Sept. 16th to 19th
Jokers Comedy Cafe in Dayton, OH– Sept. 21st
Cleveland Improv– Sept. 22nd to 26th
Addison Improv– Sept. 29th to Oct. 3rd
Punchline in San Francisco– Oct. 5th to 9th
Punchline in Sacramento– Oct. 13th to 17th
Catch a Rising Star in Reno– Oct. 21st to 24th
Comedy Connection in Providence– Oct. 27th & 28th
Comedy Connection in Boston– Oct. 29th to 31st
Houston Improv– Nov. 4th to 7th
Brea Improv– Nov. 11th to 14th
Miami Improv– Nov. 18th to 21st
Stress Factory in NJ– Nov. 26th to 28th
Catch a Rising Star in Princeton– Dec. 2nd to 5th
Baltimore Improv– Dec. 8th to 12th
Orlando Improv– Dec. 30th to Jan. 2nd
West Palm Beach Improv– Jan. 6th to 9th
Penguins Comedy Club in Cedar Rapids, IA to Jan. 13th
Penguins Comedy Club in Bettendorf, IA– Jan. 14th & 15th
Brewsters Comedy Club in Peoria, IL– Jan. 16th
Stardome in Hoover, AL– Jan. 20th to 23th
Funny Farm in Roswell, GA– Jan. 27th to 30th

The new L.C.S. winner will be revealed tonight. We’re in Reno. Could someone on the east coast please send us an email as soon as Jay Mohr squawks out the final word? (Now we know what it feels like for all our readers in the Pacific Time Zone!)

As far as our readers are concerned, Gary Gulman will win (53%), John Heffron if favored by 32% of you and Alonzo Bodden brings up the rear with 15%. We shall see how wise you are.

WE HAVE A NEW POLL

We’d like all of our readers to take a moment and answer the question: “How long have you been doing comedy?” Even if you have never done it, we have a box you can check. Please take a moment to take the poll– we’d like to know about the depth of experience of our readers, from rabid fan to veteran comic! Thanks! (It’s over there —–>)